Chapter 13 - "Maybe It's My Mind"
A loud crackle of thunder shot through the night sky, as Orin's eyes burst open from the sound. He had fallen asleep against the large oak, and the sound of rain hitting the trees had calmed him. The bellowing thunder, on the other hand, interrupted his untroubled sleep, and he now gazed toward the smoldering ashes that was once a campfire. Instead of the horrible nightmares he had had the last two nights, he dreamt of something less threatening, and more mysterious.
A man stood in his dream, surrounded by green grass and flowers, his face warm and kind. The man peered hopefully at Orin, who lay quiet in his arms, and had spoken to Orin softly.
"I never get used to looking at you, Orin. The only thing that would make me happier, is to know you won't struggle to achieve what others have deemed impossible." said the man, as his turquoise eyes met Orin's. "I'll be here, even if you can't see me. I promise I will, as long as you trust in me, Orin."
Orin looked into the burning coals, and then up through the canopy.
"I trust you." said Orin with a smile, and he sat on the ground against the tree, and shut his eyes tightly.
The morning seemed to greet Orin with undying cheer, as birds chirped excitedly in the trees all around. He opened his eyes, and looked over at his still sleeping troop, a smile still on his face. When he stood and stretched, though, he noticed something he hadn't before. There, on the ground, lye a girl rapped in tattered, wet sheets. As Orin moved closer, he recognized the bright red markings tattooed around her eyes, and his own eyes widened.
"T-Tess!?" he said loudly, as he moved even closer.
Vahn lifted his head from his pillow, and looked up at Orin worriedly.
"Huh…what's the matter, Orin." he mumbled tiredly, as he sat up in his bed, and rubbed his eyes.
"She's…back!" Orin cried, as he walked closer to her.
"Who?" asked Vahn, as he looked over his shoulder.
"Tess. She came back." replied Orin, as he stood over her as she slept peacefully.
"Oh." said Vahn as he stood, a slight look of surprise on his face.
Duran grunted and rolled over as they both loomed over her. Suddenly, she rolled onto her back, and looked up at them. They both backed away, and looked around out of embarrassment and nervousness.
"Orin…" she mumbled, as she sat up.
"Why did you come back?" asked Orin, as he scratched his head nervously.
"The rain." she started, as she looked up at him, "It was cold, and I couldn't find anywhere to rest…"
Orin nodded slowly, and walked out of the small cluster of trees. The sky was still plagued with clouds, and the sun could hardly poke through. Orin walked quickly through the wet grass, as he gazed ahead of him into the foggy, moist air ahead of him. He could hear footsteps behind him, brisk as his were.
'Why is she following me…' he thought. 'She should have left here when she had the chance.'
He turned to face her, but was surprised to see Vahn standing before him, his eyes wide with worry.
"Where…are you going?" asked Vahn, as he approached Orin.
"She…" started Orin, but he turned away, and faced the cold looking mountains far to the east. "She should not be here. I've dragged too many people into this, and I'm not about to let her die for a cause that does not concern her."
"Dragged who into this?" asked Vahn.
"What do you mean, who?" said Orin, his face full of a sad sort of anger. "Keith, Ikara, Duran, and you."
"Now wait…" started Vahn, but Orin interrupted him.
"Your whole family got pulled in because I was so selfish. Shale is dead because of…me." Orin said, as he clenched his fists, and sat down in the wet grass.
"Orin." said Vahn, who was becoming frustrated. "Don't be such a fool! Do you think you dragged these people into anything!? My father is gone because he was part of the Shining Force, not because you came to us when you were in trouble."
"But…" started Orin.
"But nothing!" yelled Vahn, "If anyone should be blamed, it should be these devils! And as for everyone else who has come along with you, they are your friends. They love their king so much, that they are going to put their lives on the line to make sure he comes home unharmed!"
Orin looked at Vahn with a look of surprise. Just a few days before, he had talked to Orin with disbelief in his eyes. He even hit Orin out of anger. Now, he was proving to Orin that he was wrong for thinking he was the source of the problem. He was blaming the devils, who he was so convinced that could never have possessed his father.
"Shale didn't die just because he seen you being dragged into that jail." continued Vahn, as sweat dripped from his forehead. "He died because he loved the kingdom he lived in. His father was friends with everyone, no matter who they were, and he loved you…"
Orin stood up and looked at Vahn.
"Orin…" said Vahn, as he panted and a look of sadness came to his face. "Don't blame yourself for what people do. People have choices in life, and they choose what they think is right. Life is made of the choices one makes, not of the choices one could make."
Orin stood and looked at Vahn for a moment, trying to take in all the things he had said to him.
"You can't keep judging yourself, or you'll tare your own mind apart, and never find your father." said Vahn. "But continuing to blame yourself is your choice to make."
With that, Vahn turned at walked quietly back to camp, his eyes to the sky, and his mind as clear as it could ever be.
'Maybe it's my mind…' thought Orin. 'Maybe that's what these dreams are from. No…I can't let my father stay possessed! Even if there is something wrong with me, I can't stop the others from doing what they want…from choosing what they want.'
Orin walked back toward the camp, where he could hear Keith and Ikara. Duran laughed loudly, and his giggles echoed across the cold, muggy plains.
When he reached the camp, Vahn sat near the fire, his arms crossed and his eyes shut in meditation. His eyebrow twitched as Duran let out another howl of laughter. Tess was sitting on a log, quietly carving a small stick with her razor sharp dagger. He walked over to her, and sat beside her on the fallen tree.
"If you would like…" he started, as she continued to carve the stick quietly, "you can come with us…"
She looked up from the stick to Orin, and a small smile came across her dirty face.
"Well, let me ask you first." she said as she put the stick and dagger on the log beside her. "What am I getting myself into?"
"Well," replied Orin, as he smiled back at her, "that's your choice."
A loud crackle of thunder shot through the night sky, as Orin's eyes burst open from the sound. He had fallen asleep against the large oak, and the sound of rain hitting the trees had calmed him. The bellowing thunder, on the other hand, interrupted his untroubled sleep, and he now gazed toward the smoldering ashes that was once a campfire. Instead of the horrible nightmares he had had the last two nights, he dreamt of something less threatening, and more mysterious.
A man stood in his dream, surrounded by green grass and flowers, his face warm and kind. The man peered hopefully at Orin, who lay quiet in his arms, and had spoken to Orin softly.
"I never get used to looking at you, Orin. The only thing that would make me happier, is to know you won't struggle to achieve what others have deemed impossible." said the man, as his turquoise eyes met Orin's. "I'll be here, even if you can't see me. I promise I will, as long as you trust in me, Orin."
Orin looked into the burning coals, and then up through the canopy.
"I trust you." said Orin with a smile, and he sat on the ground against the tree, and shut his eyes tightly.
The morning seemed to greet Orin with undying cheer, as birds chirped excitedly in the trees all around. He opened his eyes, and looked over at his still sleeping troop, a smile still on his face. When he stood and stretched, though, he noticed something he hadn't before. There, on the ground, lye a girl rapped in tattered, wet sheets. As Orin moved closer, he recognized the bright red markings tattooed around her eyes, and his own eyes widened.
"T-Tess!?" he said loudly, as he moved even closer.
Vahn lifted his head from his pillow, and looked up at Orin worriedly.
"Huh…what's the matter, Orin." he mumbled tiredly, as he sat up in his bed, and rubbed his eyes.
"She's…back!" Orin cried, as he walked closer to her.
"Who?" asked Vahn, as he looked over his shoulder.
"Tess. She came back." replied Orin, as he stood over her as she slept peacefully.
"Oh." said Vahn as he stood, a slight look of surprise on his face.
Duran grunted and rolled over as they both loomed over her. Suddenly, she rolled onto her back, and looked up at them. They both backed away, and looked around out of embarrassment and nervousness.
"Orin…" she mumbled, as she sat up.
"Why did you come back?" asked Orin, as he scratched his head nervously.
"The rain." she started, as she looked up at him, "It was cold, and I couldn't find anywhere to rest…"
Orin nodded slowly, and walked out of the small cluster of trees. The sky was still plagued with clouds, and the sun could hardly poke through. Orin walked quickly through the wet grass, as he gazed ahead of him into the foggy, moist air ahead of him. He could hear footsteps behind him, brisk as his were.
'Why is she following me…' he thought. 'She should have left here when she had the chance.'
He turned to face her, but was surprised to see Vahn standing before him, his eyes wide with worry.
"Where…are you going?" asked Vahn, as he approached Orin.
"She…" started Orin, but he turned away, and faced the cold looking mountains far to the east. "She should not be here. I've dragged too many people into this, and I'm not about to let her die for a cause that does not concern her."
"Dragged who into this?" asked Vahn.
"What do you mean, who?" said Orin, his face full of a sad sort of anger. "Keith, Ikara, Duran, and you."
"Now wait…" started Vahn, but Orin interrupted him.
"Your whole family got pulled in because I was so selfish. Shale is dead because of…me." Orin said, as he clenched his fists, and sat down in the wet grass.
"Orin." said Vahn, who was becoming frustrated. "Don't be such a fool! Do you think you dragged these people into anything!? My father is gone because he was part of the Shining Force, not because you came to us when you were in trouble."
"But…" started Orin.
"But nothing!" yelled Vahn, "If anyone should be blamed, it should be these devils! And as for everyone else who has come along with you, they are your friends. They love their king so much, that they are going to put their lives on the line to make sure he comes home unharmed!"
Orin looked at Vahn with a look of surprise. Just a few days before, he had talked to Orin with disbelief in his eyes. He even hit Orin out of anger. Now, he was proving to Orin that he was wrong for thinking he was the source of the problem. He was blaming the devils, who he was so convinced that could never have possessed his father.
"Shale didn't die just because he seen you being dragged into that jail." continued Vahn, as sweat dripped from his forehead. "He died because he loved the kingdom he lived in. His father was friends with everyone, no matter who they were, and he loved you…"
Orin stood up and looked at Vahn.
"Orin…" said Vahn, as he panted and a look of sadness came to his face. "Don't blame yourself for what people do. People have choices in life, and they choose what they think is right. Life is made of the choices one makes, not of the choices one could make."
Orin stood and looked at Vahn for a moment, trying to take in all the things he had said to him.
"You can't keep judging yourself, or you'll tare your own mind apart, and never find your father." said Vahn. "But continuing to blame yourself is your choice to make."
With that, Vahn turned at walked quietly back to camp, his eyes to the sky, and his mind as clear as it could ever be.
'Maybe it's my mind…' thought Orin. 'Maybe that's what these dreams are from. No…I can't let my father stay possessed! Even if there is something wrong with me, I can't stop the others from doing what they want…from choosing what they want.'
Orin walked back toward the camp, where he could hear Keith and Ikara. Duran laughed loudly, and his giggles echoed across the cold, muggy plains.
When he reached the camp, Vahn sat near the fire, his arms crossed and his eyes shut in meditation. His eyebrow twitched as Duran let out another howl of laughter. Tess was sitting on a log, quietly carving a small stick with her razor sharp dagger. He walked over to her, and sat beside her on the fallen tree.
"If you would like…" he started, as she continued to carve the stick quietly, "you can come with us…"
She looked up from the stick to Orin, and a small smile came across her dirty face.
"Well, let me ask you first." she said as she put the stick and dagger on the log beside her. "What am I getting myself into?"
"Well," replied Orin, as he smiled back at her, "that's your choice."