NOOO!
This is the last chapter!
-sobs-
Well, all of our boys are dead. And the girl remains. I'm not a sexist. I just think that it would be funny if all the 'tough' guys went bye-bye and the girl... didn't.
It's not just cause I'm a girl. Guys are plenty good.
So this is the last chapter, and the closet door finally opens!
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Day 5
Sakura stared around the small confined space of the closet. She was the only living creature left. She tried to recap on what had happened. Sasuke had tossed a sucker stick at her, and she had thrown it back with such force that it had lodged in his eye.
One down.
Her sensei Kakashi had become so increasingly irritating with his mental humming and rocking that Naruto beat him to death with various things, mainly a water bottle.
Two down.
And finally, Naruto had hungrily gobbled down a peppermint, so greedily and fast that he choked. And Sakura had watched him die.
That made three.
So she had either to die, or think of a way to get out in the new peace and quiet.
"Hello?"
Sakura turned and stared at the door.
"Iruka-sensei?"
"Yeah, it's me. Uh... is everything okay in there?"
"It's just me."
"What do you mean?"
"I killed Sasuke, Naruto killed Kakashi-sensei, and then Naruto choked to death on a peppermint."
Iruka stared around at Tsunade, who was holding back hysterical laughter.
"How... how do you find this funny?"
"They sure are good at thinking of excuses!"
"No, I'm serious," Sakura chimed. "And I'm coming out now."
"Wha-"
The door blasted open, revealing a ragged-looking Sakura standing poised with her fingers in chakra summoning form. She collapsed into Iruka's arms as Tsunade peered tentavively into the closet.
XXX
Sasuke looked around. Everything was so bright, and there were clouds everywhere.
"Where are we?"
Sasuke turned to his side to see Naruto, looking completely ridiculous in snow-white robes, fluffy wings set on his back. And, he noticed, his sensei looked the same, only adorable and not riduculous. And instead of a black mask, he donned a white one. It didn't take Sasuke long to realize that he was dressed the same.
"Well..." Sasuke said. "We are dead, aren't we?"
"That's right," Kakashi said. "So we must be -"
"Welcome, welcome!"
The trio turned to the sound of the booming voice. There behind them stood none other than Kami-sama himself.
"Kami?"
"Yes, that's right. And I see that bretheren have joined us in the Paradise in the heavens."
The three loooked dumbfounded.
"Well, what brings my sons here?" He looked at Sasuke.
"Well..." Sasuke hung his head in shame.
"Speak up, my child."
"I got poked in the eye with a lollipop stick," he muttered, a blue cloud of sad surrounding him. "By a girl."
Kami showed no mockery as Sasuke had expected, and instead patted him on the shoulders and turned to Kakashi. The jounin opened his mouth to respond.
"He beat me to death." he said shortly, pointing a finger at Naruto.
"All is forgiven, all is forgiven," Kami chided. "Now how about you?"
He turned his questioning eyes on the little blonde shinobi.
"Well, I... I choked on a peppermint."
Sasuke muffled a snicker. Kakashi wasn't as successful, his chuckle somewhat audible.
Kami patted Naruto on the head.
"Well," he said sympathetically. "At least we don't have candy here."
XXX
Tsunade sank into a chair, her arms wrapped tightly around herself. The stupid little kunoichi really had been serious. They were all dead. And she had kind of liked Hatake Kakashi too.
Iruka stared at Sakura in disbelief.
"W-why, Sakura?"
She looked up feebly at him.
"Because girls rule."
OWARI
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And that is the end! Yes, I know, I'm sad too.
Okay, time for a little confessional. I have ABSOLUTELY no clue who Tsunade is. I don't know what she looks like, who she is, what her ninja rank is if she even is a ninja, or what she does. The only thing I know about her is that she -spoiler- becomes the fifth Hokage. I think that's right.
I've been following the manga, and not really the show cause I don't have cable, and my Internet sucks ass. It's just that people seem to make her do mean stuff to assorted Naruto characters, and even though I'd never even heard of her before, she seemed like just the person to lock them in a closet.
So I don't want anyone giving me a review like: "Oh my god, you are such a fake! Using Tsunade when you don't even know who she is!"
I don't really expect that anyone would do that, but I'm just putting it out there.
And the fact that Naruto can now watch Sakura "get naked" since he's in Heaven.
Well, thanks for reading, and... oh gosh, this is the first chapter story I've ever finished! It's kind of an achievement for me.
So, I appreciate your support, and review if you see fit.
Sayonara!