(A/N: I started this a little while ago, and picked it up again recently. Obviously, I can't say where I'm going with this, but hopefully I can say this won't your average Zim fic. As always, reviews are incentive to write, so if you like this, feel free to drop one and the fic will update soon.
Disclaimer: Invader Zim belongs to Jhonen Vasquez and Viacom. And for all you know, I could be either one! Kidding. I'm not.)
Alienated!
In an alleyway in the middle of the suburbs sat a brilliant purple-and-turquoise house of warped proportions, which looked like it had been drawn by a child, rather than built by an architect (substitute in "alien" for "child," and you'd be closer to the truth there). In front of the house, a couple decorative pink pufferfish and laser-armed security cameras disguised as simplistic green lawn gnomes stood guard. Night had since fallen, shading all in darkness, and only chirping crickets broke the silence. Well... chirping crickets and the sounds of spaceships doing battle somewhere high above the ground. Metallic clangs, searing ray-blasts, sonic booms, small explosions and infuriated shouts rang out over the otherwise quiet neighborhood. Then, with a climactic KA-BOOM, all the noises stopped but for one increasingly louder scream. Yep, there it is again, getting louder, see? Yup... louder and louder and louder... little muffled... louder though... okay, heading back to the past tense now... A shadow appeared on the lawn, getting larger as the scream grew louder. And then, without warning (unless you count the scream and the shadow, those were pretty good warnings) a diminutive spacecraft crashlanded into the lawn, cracking the cement path in half and taking out a few gnomes. The scream went on as the screamer leapt out of the ship, little robot in tow, ducking behind a gnome close to the house.
"Hurry GIR!" Zim hissed urgently, having finally stopped screaming.
"Okiedokie!" With misplaced casualty, GIR tromped toward Zim, who had to jerk him behind the gnome for cover as the robot was too dense to figure he should do it on his own. Just in time; a fraction of a second later, the already badly damaged spaceship exploded, leaving nothing but flaming shrapnel and a humongous crater where most of the lawn had been. Just outside the edge of the crater, Zim stared at what little was left of the Voot runner in disbelieving despair while GIR found old gum stuck to the bottom of his foot, peeled it off and began chewing it.
At that instant, a second, slightly beaten-up but functioning spaceship zipped out of the sky and hovered six feet above ground level in front of the dismayed alien. The domed windshield slid back, revealing a smug human child with pointy hair and a biiiiiiiiig head sitting in the cockpit.
"What kind of alien spaceship blows up that easily, ZIM?" Dib taunted. "I think it's obvious who the superior - " Dib's ship sputtered and shook violently, reminding him it hadn't come out of the battle entirely unscathed. "Uhh... I'll mock you more tomorrow." At Dib's prompting, the ship closed its windshield and sped out of sight. Zim stood still for a few moments before clenching his fists and teeth.
"GrrrrrrRRRRRAAAAUUGGGGH! FILTHY, HORRIBLE, PIG-STINKING DISGUSTING DIB-BEAST-HUMAN-THING!AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGHHHH!" Kicking a dirt-clod with all his might, Zim launched into a tirade of growls, hisses, grunts and shrieks, the primitive-sounding basis of the Irken language. The only word clearly distinguishable in this rant, and frequently appearing at that, was "Dib." Okay, more of a name than a word, but... still. DO NOT QUESTION ME I CONTROL YOUR ENTERTAINMENT! So, Zim yelled and hollered and complained and attracted a growing crowd of curious neighbors. Zim was out of disguise, but having had him for a neighbor THIS long, nothing could really surprise the humans at this point. Besides, nothing good was on TV.
With a final "PITIFUL HUMAN WILL RUE THE DAY HE MET ZIM," the little alien turned heel and trudged inside, slamming the door just as GIR darted in.
---
What was once Tak's ship skyrocketed into the Membrane garage, breaking part of the building's interior and adding a few more dents to the already bady damaged ship. Normally Dib would have been concerned, but for now he was too ecstatic; repairs could wait, he decided, leaping out of the ship and darting into the house, all but vacant but for the small figure on the couch.
"Gaz! GAZ! You won't BELIEVE what happened!" Uncharacteristically thrilled, Dib accidentally slammed into the couch's back, tumbled over and landed upside-down on the cushions in his excitement. His sibling growled and scooted away, keeping to the screen of her GameSlave 2 attentively.
"Go away Dib, I'm at the last level," she muttered.
"But the SPACESHIPS, Gaz! THE SPACESHIPS! It was right out of a scifi movie!" Dib righted himself and went on excitedly. "Zim and I were fighting with spaceships and lasers and flying gophers and explosions! THROUGH THE SKY! IN SPACE!" He pointed upward with an expression reminiscent of a madman. "It was even better than that time Zim and I fought with Mars and Mercury! It was GREAT!" Grinning broadly, he collapsed on the couch sighed gleefully. Gaz grunted, but kept playing.
Getting up again with a blissful smile, Dib commented, "Y'know Gaz, for all the disrespect and danger, sometimes defending the Earth is worth it!" He caught himself. "I mean - it's always worth it, but, when Zim has these crazy alien ideas and I have to go out and stop him - it's fun, you know? Before Zim came to Earth, things were pretty boring. I mean sure, sometimes Dad unleashed a hideous oyster monster of doom and we had to help destroy it, but that was only occasional. Yeah... it's almost a shame I'll have to reveal Zim for the horrible alien creature he is and cut his guts open."
Gaz played for a few moments before asking, "Will you go now?"
"Yep," Dib replied, sliding off the couch and heading upstairs. Skool would start in a few hours; he'd get some sleep and worry about fixing the spaceship tomorrow.
---
"Yeah... it's almost a shame I'll have to reveal Zim for the horrible alien creature he is and cut his guts open."
"Will you go now?"
All six gloved fingers laced together before his face, Zim watched the screen pensively. Situated in an obscure quadrant of his base, Zim watched the Earthenoids through an Irken spycam hidden in the Membrane household.
"Horrible Dib-stink," Zim muttered. "Cut my guts open - HAH! YOU'LL NEVER GET MY GUTS, DIB! NEVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRR!" Snapping his attention to a nearby monitor, he demanded, "COMPUTER! How are the Voot's repairs progressing?"
"2 percent repaired," the computer reported. "Estimate until repairs are finished: 23.7 hours."
"That is NOT ACCEPTABLE!" Zim roared, leaping up on his chair. "WORK FASTER!"
Calmly, the computer responded, "Faster is not possible. The ship is being rebuilt from scratch."
"Scratch? I gave you the parts that were left," Zim glowered.
"Oh, yes." The computer thought back to the singed seat stuffing and broken engine casing it had been given to work with, in addition to base materials and the Voot's original blueprints. It had thrown them away, not to Zim's knowledge; in that state, the fragments were useless. Fortunately, Zim's wandering mind had moved on to other things - well, one thing.
"DIB!" the Irken growled. "This is all that dirty HUMAN's fault!"
"What dirty human?" GIR wondered, floating by on a strangely flight-enabled rubber pig.
"DIB!" Zim barked.
"Who?"
"DIB!"
"Who?"
"DIB!"
"Who?"
"THAT HORRIBLE STINK-BEAST WITH A HUMONGOUS HEAD!"
"Oooohh... big-head boy! I know him," GIR said pleasantly. The pig did a spin through the air, spinning GIR with it. "WHEEHEEHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! FLY, PIGGY!" Quivering with anger, Zim sat back down and crossed him arms sulkily.
"That Dib... piloting Tak's ship... The wormbaby thinks he'd good. Irken good. Well he's NOT AN IRKEN! HE'S NOT! HE'S - " Zim paused mid-sentence, his look of rage swiftly melting into one of smug conniving. "Yes," he smirked to himself, swiveling in his chair toward the console and starting work on something. "He's not..."
And evil laughter rang out through the neighborhood all through the night.