If only I could turn back time

If only I had said what I still had

If only I turn could back time

I would stay for the night

---Turn back Time, Aqua

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It had been almost one month since she got back together with Logan and ended up getting grounded, it had been almost two weeks, nine days to be exact, since she had been un-grounded and Veronica Mars was spending her Sunday night attempting to work on her history paper.
"What are you doing?" Lilly asked walking into Veronica's room, with Logan following close behind, and found Veronica sitting in front of her laptop eating from a large bowl of Fruity Pebbles, starring at a word pad document that was completely blank except for her name in the header.

"Well I was going to write my history paper but I think I've lost my mojo."

"Know where it might be?" Lilly asked, "Dick's house."

"Dick invited us over tonight." Logan explained as he leaned against her desk

"I can't go."

"Why not?" Lilly asked crossing her arms across her chest

'Cause I have homework."

"V, you've been working on homework all weekend. Now come on, it's Sunday night and Dick wants us to come over and have fun."

"Lilly...my dad finally let me out on parole. I'm not going to blow it by going and hanging out over at Dick's where everyone's just going to get high and play Halo. If I wanted to do that I would just go over to Logan's."

"Hey I resent that."

"It's the truth." Veronica said with a shrug.

"V, you can't think of any reason's why we should spend some time together today?" Lilly asked

"Not today. But I think my current History grade is a good reason why I should not hang out with you."

"Look Lil, "Logan said, "I think we both know that neither one of us can change Veronica's mind if she's got it set on something."

"Give the boy a prize." Veronica said with a smile, "But you two go, enjoy yourselves."

"Fine." Lilly said with an over dramatic sigh, "I guess that that means I'll just have to have enough fun for the both of us."

A few hours later Lilly and Duncan sat in Dick's living room watching the crowd of people mingle around them.

"I'm bored." Lilly said sighing in her seat next to Duncan.

"Then find something to do." Duncan said picking up a video game magazine and began flipping through it.

"There's nothing to do." Lilly said and then shut her mouth, staying quiet for a moment before asking, "Do you have any idea what today is?"

"Should I?" Duncan asked frustrated

"No." Lilly said standing up, "I'm going to go find something to drink."

As Lilly walked off Logan leaped over the back of the couch, and took her spot.

"So where's Meg this evening?" He asked

"With her parents at church." Duncan told him without looking up from his magazine

"Ahh yes. I forgot she has one of those families."

"And what do you mean by that?"

"Creepily religious."

Duncan closed the magazine and asked "What are you trying to do?"

"Have a friendly chat. Isn't that what Veronica is trying to do? Make us friends again?"

"It's what she's trying to do. But it's not going to happen."

"Why not?"

Duncan was quiet for a moment and Logan nodded his head.

"You think about that for a while. I'll be around."

As Lilly stumbled outside to find her car, digging through her purse while she walked, she suddenly felt her shoe get caught in a hole and she went tumbling down.

"Shit." Lilly cursed as she hit the ground.

"Need some help?" A familiar voice asked and when Lilly looked up she found Mac standing in front of her

"No." She slurred as she attempted to get up, with no luck.

"Are you sure?"

"No." She repeated, "I'm fine right here."

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us look at the stars." Mac whispered to herself as she took a seat next to the blonde.

"Oscar Wilde. Good choice." Lilly said nonchalantly and Mac raised her eyebrow's, "Yes, I do know of the good Mr. Wilde because, despite what you might think, my IQ is actually larger than my bra size."

"Then, if you don't mind me asking, why don't you act like it?"

"Someone famous once said: 'A sex symbol becomes a thing. I hate being a thing'…"

"That would be Marilyn Monroe."

"Good call. And I believe that. It's just…I don't want to be ignored. And if I'm not seen as a sex symbol then I'm nothing. "

"How can you think that?"

"Veronica's my best friend. You know that. But she's the brains of the operation. She's going to go to some hoity-toity Ivy League college because, let's face it, she's smart. A lot smarter than me. And I'm going to be going because my parents dropped a large sum to pay for a new library. I can't compete in the intelligence department. So why even try?"

Lilly laid down on her back and took a deep breath.

"Now look, this is really hard for me to ask but, could you hold my head?"

"Why?"

"Because I think I'm going to barf. "

"Sure thing."

Mac dropped her purse down on the ground, took a seat next to Lilly and began to maternally rub her head as she rolled over and began to be sick.

Across town Veronica was still trying to finish her paper, when her phone rang. Veronica stopped typing and looked down at the caller id before sighing.

"Hi mom." Veronica said with an annoyed tone in her voice as she answered her phone.

"Hi honey. How are you?" Lianne asked

"I'm fine. "

"How's Lilly? "

"She's fine. Mom, why are you calling me?"

"What, can't a mother call her daughter?"

"Not when said mother hasn't called said daughter in nearly a month."

"I've been busy; I'll give you that…"

"Mom look, I'm three hundred words into a one thousand word paper for school. It's due tomorrow. I really need to work on this."

"I understand. But I want to see you. Catch up."

"I'm free tomorrow for dinner."

"Alright I'll see you over here for dinner."

Over at Dick's Lilly and Mac were still sitting on the ground.

"Okay, I think I'm good." Lilly said as she stat up and wiped her mouth, "You know what? Veronica's too good a person to have a friend like me. She deserves someone more like you."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because it's true."

"So, Lilly, how much did you have to drink?" Mac asked after a beat

"God, mom, I'm not sure. A bottle and a half. I think."

"I hope it was the good stuff."

"Believe me when I say, it wasn't. Over the counter cough syrup, one step above moonshine."

Mac just nodded her head and Lilly could see the wheels turning inside her head.

"I did it because I wanted to be numb."

"Excuse me?"

"I can tell that you want to ask me why. And I'm telling you. I did it because I wanted to become numb. I wanted to forget about what today was. I mean everyone else can forget, why can't I?"

"What's today?"

"The one year anniversary of Aaron Echolls becoming the world's most popular pedophile."

"Oh it's…"

"Yeah. And the two people who were with me that day didn't even remember."

"You were the one who…"

"Don't act like you didn't know. You were there the day I went over to Veronica's and we had that big fight. I know you heard."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

Lilly placed a hand over her mouth and closed her eyes tightly.

"You okay?" Mac asked brushing a strand of hair out of the blonde's face.

"False alarm." Lilly said opening her eyes back up, "Look, if Veronica gets word about me making out with Jacque could you deny any accusation of me being wasted at the time?"

"Okay."

"It's just…Veronica knows that I'm a whore. I don't want her to think that I'm a whore who doesn't learn from other people's mistakes. "

"You're talking about what happened to her at Shelly's party last year?"

"She told you about that?"

"Yeah."

"She told you everything?"

"About her getting drugged and nearly rapped? Yeah. She told me."

"That was my fault."

"What do you mean it was your fault?"

"I slipped her the GHB. I wanted her to loosen up and because of that I almost got her raped."

"You're a horrible friend."

"That I am." Lilly agreed as she stood up, "I'm heading home."

"Are you sure you're okay to drive?"

"Believe me I'm driven in far worse conditions than this. Thanks though."

"No problem."

As Lilly began to her car Mac yelled out her name causing her to stop.

"Just so you know" Mac began, "I'm not going to tell her. This is our secret."

"Thanks."

As Lilly got in her car she took a look at her phone which was plugged into the charger.

"One new message." She said out loud as she opened it.

"Lil it's me. I am a horrible friend." Veronica said with sincerity in her voice, "No really I am. I'm going to the special hell reserved for child molesters and people who talk in the theatre."

Lilly laughed to herself as Veronica continued, "I cannot believe I forgot. This is such an important day in all of our lives and I forgot. I'm sorry. So sorry. Call me. Doesn't matter what time it is. Just call me. Please. I'm sorry. Bye."

Later that night Veronica woke up to find her father sitting next to her on her bed.

"Veronica, wake up." Keith whispered stroking his daughter's hair, trying to keep from breaking down in front of her.

"Dad?" Veronica asked rubbing her eyes, "What is it? What's going on?"

"Sheriff Lamb is in the front room. We need to talk to you. It's important."

"What?" Veronica asked again as she looked at her alarm clock which in big bold letters read 2:36 AM.

"Something happened."

An hour later Veronica found herself standing on Logan's porch ringing the doorbell frantically

"Veronica?" Lynn asked opening the door, "It's really late."

"I'm sorry." Veronica cried running her hands through her hair, "I'm really sorry."

"Veronica?" Logan asked walking out of the shadows, "What's wrong?"

"She's died Logan. She's dead."