(A/N: I wrote most of this chapter pretty quickly, but then got stuck on the last few sentences for the longest time. Fortunately, a Zim-watching marathon cleared that up. ANYWAY! I can't believe it! My reviews have more than doubled with this last chapter! INCREDIBLE! At the bottom of the chapter I respond to some of the reviews, since you people deserve that much. Also, enjoy the chapter! Not much, but now that I'm in my groove more should be coming soon.
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN INVADER ZIM! Why do I not own Invader Zim? Whyyyyy... )
Chapter Five
Dib stared at the elevator platform hesitantly. He didn't want to give Zim the satisfaction of obeying his orders... but he was getting bored up here. He'd assumed he would fall asleep here, but the sun had risen and he didn't feel tired in the least (perhaps it was the events of the previous day making him sleepless, but he suspected Irkens just didn't sleep). Dib sighed and stepped onto the elevator, pondering, as it lowered, the irony that not long ago he'd risked his neck time and again to break into Zim's base, whereas now that it was being offered to him, he was reluctant to visit.
He'd just stepped off the elevator when -
"WAFFLES!" screamed the plate of waffles as it shoved itself in his face. Dib stumbled backward, quickly realizing that Zim's dog-suited robot had pushed the waffles toward him and screamed, not the waffles themselves.
"Eat the waffles, big-head boy!" GIR insisted, walking toward him as he backed away cautiously. "They're gooood for youuuuuu." Having seen Zim sizzle and burn at the touch of human food before, the now-Irken Dib doubted that very much.
"No, really... that's okay," Dib pleaded as GIR came closer and closer with the buttery pile of alien toxins. "I'm not hungry... GIR, seriously!" Backed up against a wall now, Dib watched in terror as some syrup slopped off the plate and puddled on the floor dangerously close to him. Acting on sheer survival instinct, he kicked the plate up and away.
Zim rose up out of the trash lift just in time to get smacked with the airborne plate. Zim's eye twitched, the plate like a hat on his head, syrup running down his face and causing the skin to smoke slightly. Fortunately, he was practically immune to waffles by now.
"I want a waffle-hat," GIR mused. Zim scowled and slapped the waffles off his head, antennae springing straight up and dripping syrup. Dib tried not to laugh at the sight.
"Well, I see you've finally heeded my AMAZING advice," Zim noted, marching out of the kitchen toward them. "I need you in the lower base though, so I can run some tests on - "
"Fat chance, Zim. I came down because I was sick of your attic," Dib retorted. "I'm not going any farther."
"Eh, okay." To his surprise, Zim only shrugged, then grinned evilly. "COMPUTER! Grab Dib and make sure he can't escape!"
Dib flashed an angry glare Zim's way and braced himself. Nothing happened. Zim stuck his bottom teeth out and tapped a foot irritably.
"COMPUTER!"
"What nooooowwwww?" the house computer groaned.
"I said, grab Dib and - "
"Not detecting the Dib within the premesis," the computer reported, cutting Zim off. Zim stared at a spot on the ceiling (Dib guessed a security camera of some sort) incredulously.
"He's right THERE!" Zim cried, pointing at Dib, who was indeed, right there.
"Unknown Irken is detected," the computer replied, scanning the DNA signature of the trenchcoated creature Zim pointed at. "The Dib is not."
"Unknown Ir - GRRR! YOU STUPID COMPUTER! That IS the Dib!" Zim snapped. "Now grab him!"
"The Dib has verified human DNA structure. Unknown Irken has verified Irken - "
"I KNOW THAT!" As Zim struggled to explain Dib's changed species to the computer, Dib headed for the door. Maybe it was better to take his chances with the outside world than in here with Zim.
No sooner had he opened the door, than a wind-blown piece of paper smacked him in the face. Dib pulled it off and looked at it. On it was a large picture of himself strapped to an operating table. Shivering at the memories of what happened just yesterday and touching the cut in his middle tenderly at the thought, Dib read the text below the picture: "HORRIBLE ALIEN MONSTER. WANTED DEAD, ALIVE, OR DISMEMBERED AND ORGANIZED IN LITTLE LABELED JARS. REWARD THREE BEEJILLION DOLLARS." Not bothering to read the description, Dib dropped it in horror and stumbled back inside, slamming the door. On second thought, maybe Zim's place wasn't so bad after all.
Inside, Zim was still arguing with the computer. Dib quirked an eyebrow at Zim and smiled slightly. For an evil space alien bent on world conquest, he was sure childish.
"What kind of 'tests'?" Dib asked. Zim broke from his quarrel with the computer and looked at Dib wonderingly, his worm-like tongue still sticking out (Dib laughed inside).
Strange, Zim thought. Dib was still obviously Dib - same large head and suspicious expression. His glasses had fallen off at some point (though with superior Irken vision, he no longer needed them) but his rounded eyes were as large as the lenses had been. Even his antennae seemed to arch up similarly to the way his scythe-shaped cowlick had. He's still the same stupid worm-baby. Arrgh, why does he stare at Zim so? With those stupid, big, shiny, red eyes... so red and shiny are they...
"Zim? What kind of tests?" Dib repeated impatiently.
"Hm?" Zim's antennae, which had been sloping peculiarly, perked up suddenly. "Oh, eh... none of your business, Dib! Trust that they are sufficiently above your level of comprehension!"
"And you say I have a big head..."
"What?"
"Nevermind." Dib studied Zim carefully. "I'm not saying I'll let you, but if you're going to be running any tests on me, I think I have a right to know what they are."
"I'm letting you stay here, aren't I?" Zim shot back. "I, ZIM, have taken you in when your own world has cast you out! The generosity of Zim is TRULY aSTOUNDing!" Dib's stare was unwavering. "...Fine. I just want to make sure there weren't any flaws in your transformation and check on how your cut is healing."
"Oh." Dib wasn't expecting that. "That's... actually kind of nice of you."
"See? You should never have doubted me. Now COME!" He started toward the trash chute, but Dib didn't budge.
"I'm not going to trust you that easily," Dib snorted, antennae lowered distrustfully. Zim stared at him for a while.
"Computer!" he barked. "Capture the 'Unknown Irken'!"
"Huh?" Dib said, eyes going wide as pipelike appendages descended from the ceiling and wound around him tightly, suspending him a foot off the ground as he tried in vain to wriggle free. "AUGH! YOU JERK, ZIM!"
"Yes, yes. To the containment chamber with him!" Zim commanded. Dib shrieked as the pipe-things retracted suddenly into the ceiling with him. He found himself being shot through a chute of some sort - then, with a splash, dispensed him into the amber amniotic fluid of a containment chamber, the passageway from the chute closed over by a metal panel.
"Great," Dib burbled through the fluid (which was actually sort of soothing against his open wound). From the looks of it, he had ended up in the base's lower levels after all. He could see Zim coming down on an elevator in a far wall now. Getting off, Zim walked over to the containment chamber and grinned at the other Irken inside nastily, his face warped by the chamber's clear, curved surface.
"Hello, Dib," he sneered, then pressed something on the containment chamber's mechanical base. Before Dib could even form a proper retort, the amniotic fluid began to drain from the containment chamber, lowering him to the bottom of the canister gradually. When the liquid had fully drained, the chamber's clear tube slid up and open. Hopping down to the floor and squeezing some fluid out of his trenchcoat, Dib stared at Zim suspiciously.
"If you're wondering why I'm letting you free in the base, it's because you no longer pose a threat to me," Zim informed, looking at Dib confidently. "Sad, isn't it? Now hold still."
"I'm not holding still for - OW!" Dib cried at Zim seized one of his antennae and yanked it. This new kind of pain incapacitated Dib temporarily, allowing Zim to examine the gaping wound running lengthwise down his torso.
"Hmm... it's worse than I thought," Zim determined, releasing Dib's antenna at last. "Still, if you aren't foolish enough to EXERT yourself unnecessarily, your Pak's nanites should patch it up in a few days."
Still rubbing his sore antenna, Dib eyed Zim warily. "So, what about the other test?" He had a sudden, terrifying mental image of Zim wielding a giant hypodermic needle.
"The computer made a record of your status while you were in the containment chamber," Zim replied. "It hasn't alerted me of any abnormalities."
"Oh," Dib said, partly relieved at the news, partly surprised that Zim hadn't slipped a cheap shot at his head in there somewhere. "Um, okay... is that it?"
"Mhm, pretty much," Zim nodded. "SO BE GONE WITH YOU!" As Dib looked at Zim in confusion, more pipes dropped out of the ceiling and constricted him.
"Ergh! Not aGAAAIIIIIN," he complained as they reeled him up to the ground floor. Zim watched him go with a slight smile, then turned and walked off. He still had work to do.
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(In response to some of my fantastic reviewers:
Senri: WOW! Thanks for reviewing, I loved your Souvenirs fic! I'm glad you like Alienated, I try my best.
SavPixie: Dib and Zim are about the same height. In some fanfics Dib is taller, mostly because he's gotten older.
zimaddiction(nice nickname by the way): But of course he's gay! His inflatable model of Tallest Spork can attest to that, and anyone who doesn't know what I'm talking about should read the script for the unmade episode "The Trial".
Krimzon: Yay, you reviewed! I'm glad you like it so much! I got an account on the site you suggested and started to post this, but I don't see any ratings lower than R. I considered posting it as R, but it isn't, and I didn't know if I should.
Keep up the good work, people!)