Know Your Stars : Family Guy
Disclaimer: If I owned Family Guy I'd kill Lois!
Stewie walked in and sat down. "Know Your Stars...Know Your Stars...Know Your Stars...Know Your Stars..." The voice said,
"Stewie Griffin...He loves Lois"
"What the deuce! I hate Lois!"
"Stewie Griffin...Is as nice as a bunny"
"Hell no! I'm evil not good!
"Stewie Griffin...Won the Most Loverly Baby Award"
"No! I won the Most Screwed Up Baby Award!"
"Stewie Griffin...Cheats on Eliza with Kara and Shelby Hoffman"
"Prove it!"
(Author shows picture of Stewie doing the Hoffman twins)
"Gasp! You bastard!"
(Eliza comes in and slaps Stewie) "We're over!"
"Stewie Griffin...He went out with Sophie Angelo from Chico and Guapo"
"Gasp! Who told you!"
(Mr. Angelo comes in and kicks Stewie 's ass) "I told you STAY AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER!"
"Stewie Griffin...his parents are really Hank and Peggy Hill"
"Hallelujah! I knew it wasn't Lois and the Fat Man!" (Starts Partying)
"Oookay..."
"Stewie Griffin...went out with Connie Souphanousinphone"
"Not true! Not true! Not-"
(Kahn Souphanousinphone comes in and kicks Stewie's ass) "Stupid redneck! Stay away from my daughter!"
"Now you know Stewie Griffin the Lois-loving, nice, loverly, cheating, Sophie-dating, the Hills' son, Connie-dating, redneck."
"I AM NOT A REDNECK! DAMN YOU!"