"What?"
The shocked cry echoed loudly through the house. Beatrice, or Bee as she was known when not called 'hey you', stared at the pirate captain in disbelief.
"You can't be serious"
"I assure you I am"
"But...nyyagh...can't you just watch a DVD or something?"
"Now why would I want to do that?"
Bee's mouth was moving slightly, trying to get the words out. She wasn't going to win this argument, she knew that, but she had to protest to it.
This pirate, this madman, was planning to go to the Cinema. To see the new release of 'dead man's chest' of course.
"But...there are...crowds, and people, and cops out there" she tried to dissuade him. It was all very true too. Barbossa and society? it was like letting a rabid wolf loose in a bedding store. They'd be cleaning the mess up for weeks.
" yes and?"
And there were cops! It wasn't that she cared what happened to the man, rather what would happen if anyone tried to arrest him. He was a pirate, and undead, but mainly a pirate which was the problem.
"Wait a sec, how do you even know about the movie?"
She had been careful not to mention any such thing around them, not trusting their criticism if they saw it. They tended to make their opinions known in the bluntest way possible.
"I believe you called it TV"
Right right...she had shown him how it worked in hopes it would keep him occupied. It had, for a bit.
"Your hardly even in that movie, why would you want to go see it?"
"Call it a sudden fancy"
Bee would bet her X box he heard about jack getting eaten by the kraken.
"Fine then, just don't...kill anyone please. An investigation would be really bad"
Barbossa didn't look phased by the idea. Police investigations weren't the concern of him. He waited, obviously expecting something.
"Umm...is there something else?"
"You didn't think I'd actually be here to ask for permission did you?"
Not really, Barbossa didn't ask for anything.
"Then what are you standing there..."
A sudden dawning.
"Oh no, no no no"
Barbossa tapped his boot against the floor, impatient for the ride to end. He had been insistent that Beatrice would accompany him as both a guide and mediator between whoever they encountered. Not that he needed one, it was easy enough to get what one wanted when you carried around live ammunition, but things did go so much faster if you had someone who knew the lingo. Such as this 'bus' for example. They had expected him to pay for the ride. For the sake of keeping incognito he had even complied (it was easy enough to retrieve the money once they had reached their destination) but the driver had seemed terribly upset when he did. Things may of gotten a bit bloody if Beatrice hadn't stepped in.
Beatrice's face still hadn't stopped flushing from embarrassment. He had tried paying in coins. Large silver ones. Doubloons she supposed they were called. She had sorted it all out thanks to the habit of keeping her multi-rider on her at all times but the driver had been giving them weird looks ever since.
Along with the rest of the passengers. Barbossa did tend to get that reaction.
Bee slouched lower in her seat, seriously hoping no one she knew would see her with this 'strange man'.
Strange? hah, deranged was more like it.
Gods, what had she done to deserve this?
He hadn't even tried to fit in. Of course he wouldn't. Barbossa bowed to nobody let alone the dress standards of the 21st century.
Their stop couldn't of come soon enough for either of them.
The pirate's main interest seemed to be looking at everything with fascination. All he needed was a camera in hand and a Hawaiian shirt.
Bee nearly walked into a light pole at the image.
"Is that it?" he gestured to a building across the street.
"No, that's a museum. The place is alarmed just so you know, over there is the cinema"
She pointed to the large square building that seemed rather plain.
He was already headed there before Bee had finished, making her hurry to catch up. He strode, yes that was the only way she could describe it. Strode forward. That was he walked, with confidence as if he belonged there implicitly. Bee could bet that he had made many an entrance, though with this one he seemed to have hit some trouble. To be more precise the door's. He hadn't seen them.
Bee tried to keep a strait face as she reached around and pulled them open, not daring to look at him.
This trip may not be so bad after all.
Until she remembered something.
"Ah crap. My wallets at home"
This did not seem to upset the Captain. It barely made him look up from his crowd watching.
"My money's with my wallet, which happens to be at home" she tried. Still nothing.
"We can't get in without a ticket"
Nada
"Without money we can't purchase a ticke...your just ignoring me now aren't you?"
"Yes" was the matter of fact reply, before he seized her arm none too gently and all but dragged her.
Bee would of protested but she was trying not to stumble over herself.
The man that checked the tickets had taken a much needed break while the crowd had slackened, and Barbossa had seized the chance. He was through before anyone had realized.
"You just...you can't do that!"
"Why cant I ?"
"Well it's...i mean...theft is not..." She stopped, realizing any argument she made would fall flat when used on someone who habitually disregarded the law.
"Now I understand how this works up to a certain point, how is it that the correct room is given?"
"It's on the ticket" She mumbled sullenly. Rule breaking was new to her, let alone law breaking.
"Were going get caught you know, they're going to catch us and throw us behind bars, strip searched and finger printed and oh gods, I'm going to get a criminal record, my future is over..."
"Then by all means continue your wailing. I'm sure they won't notice it"
Beatrice took the hint. She gestured quietly to one of the cinemas and headed for it. Only to have him jerk her back.
"How do you know that's the one?"
"Sign at the top" she hissed back, massaging her shoulder. That had hurt damnit.
Her pain of no major concern he merely took note of the sign and, seemingly satisfied by something, headed into the theater. Of course he had to always be first, oh Barbossa never followed the lead of anyone. Not even when displaced in an entirely different century. Arrogant bastard.
Muttering she trailed after. Bee thought briefly of sitting far away from him just to be spiteful. The pirate himself didn't seem to care one way or another but gave a look which plainly stated that any disappearance on her part would not be appreciated.
The theater was nearly empty, the movie having been out a while, which was an unexpected bonus. Any that did show up merely took the strange man in the back row as an enthusiast of the movie. Some even admired the authenticity of his costume.
Beatrice herself settled down in the chair and waited for the theater to darken. She hadn't seen the movie yet and despite her misgivings about being there she was looking forward to it. After all, it was apparently a damn good movie.
It was a good movie. The experience had even been pleasant. The only disruption came when Jack had encountered more kraken spit than was good for him, which someone had found infinitely amusing.
Barbossa of course. He would find that funny...
The Captain had remained still the entire movie and refused to give any merit to the scenarios Bee's mind had come up with. Something that was relieving to find out.
The only trouble that came was outside the theater.
Both wanted to return to the safety that was her (now somewhat mangled) home. Barbossa seemed to have had enough culture for the day and Beatrice just wanted the experience to be over.
Unfortunately the bus was late.
More unfortunately some men early in the midst of some celebration or other were heading towards them. They were drunk.
From the scarves and shirts they wore Beatrice could guess they were sports fans. One had even painted his face. He had been thusly dubbed brave heart and seemed to take interest in the two waiting for the bus. More precisely the feathered hat.
He gestured to it and said something, his other pal's finding it funny.
Barbossa had noticed this and his hand moved. Just a little, to rest on a wooden handle mostly obscured by his clothes.
Ah feck!
Bee could guess what it was. She could also hazard a guess as to how many years he'd get for carrying concealment.
Brave heart was now trying to engage them in conversation.
"I like your hat mate"
"Thank ye"
"Don't suppose you'll let me wear it?"
"Don't suppose I will"
"Aww come on there mate" he tried to wheedle. He finally took stock of the rest of him and gestured to his clothing.
"What kind of get up is that?"
Beatrice promptly butted in.
"He's a costume designer for the theater. Stage prop...he's field testing it to make sure it's all...you know...workable. Seams in the right places, not tight anywhere. Wont unexpectedly split"
"Oh! one of those guys! a ponce" Brave heart nodded with sage like wisdom as only a drunkard can.
"What was that?" Barbossa demanded. The word was unfamiliar to him but he had gotten the gist of it.
"Nothing to be ashamed of mate. One of me best friends is like that. OI, Skippy!"
He called over his shoulder to where his friend, a large muscular bear of a man waved back. It was odd how someone who looked like a pro wrestler could pull off such a feminine gesture.
"errr..no he's not like that..i mean I don't think he's.."
"Aww...you have a cute daughter there" Brave heart gushed ruffling her hair in what he supposed was a friendly gesture.
"NO! god no!" She shuddered at the thought.
"He's my...uncle. Visiting from out of town" she clarified. Her eyes darted to Barbossa with a 'help me out here' look. Barbossa grinned, finding it all too amusing to stop now.
She was on her own here
"Oh really?" Skippy had joined the conversation "From out of town and you work in the arts?"
Beatrice got a sudden idea and flashed Barbossa a very evil smirk. There would be hell to pay later but for now...
"As a matter of fact, yes. He's just been through a bad breakup and only now getting back on the scene. Thought he'd start afresh here"
"Oh so your available then?" Skippy sounded hopeful.
"What?" Barbossa was alarmed by this new twist in the conversation.
"Yes, he's a bit shy about it though. Still in denial"
"Oh you poor thing.."
The grin still hadn't left her face when they arrived home later. Barbossa, in turn, did not look that pleased. He slammed the front door with enough force to cause the windows to shake. The ear-ringed pirate hit pause and looked up, this was going to be interesting.
"I suppose your pleased with yourself after pulling that little stunt" Barbossa seethed
"Very" Beatrice confessed. Despite her joyful attitude she was sure to keep the kitchen table between them.
She was smug but she wasn't stupid.
He placed both hands on the table and leaned forward slightly. There was no slamming, no outward anger, and it was this that made it the more sinister. Beatrice found herself leaning back ever so slightly.
"I must confess, I didn't expect ye to have it in ye to try that. A less charitable man would take offence" His teeth were not a pleasant site to behold.
"I'll be giving ye one warning only. Next time ye get the chance to do something, don't"
and with that he retreated back to the room he had taken as his own.
The ear-ringed pirate looked between his disappearing Captain then to his host.
"What was that about?"
"Nothing" Bee replied, not looking too frazzled by the encounter. He wasn't really upset, not over that little 'stunt' of hers. If anything Beatrice would say he had found the scenario amusing. After all, he hadn't thrown away Skippy's number.
Heh, i actually had a conversation very similar to this once when outside a football stadium. Waiting for a ride. Drunks are always amusingly fun to watch.
Now Barbossa in general is a hard man to pin down, and i've tried to remain faithful. I'd liken the attitude of the pirates of a three point scale, holding onto it different characters to illustrate the sort of point i'd like to make.
On one end there's Jack Sparrow. He's a pirate, untrustworthy, thieving, but otherwise a good man. He likes to talk his way out rather than fight and will avoid killing when possible. He is selfish and puts himself first before others but he will try to get the others out of trouble once heput them there if possible.In DnD terms i'd say he's alignment is Chaotic Neutral
Davy Jones is on the other end of the scale. He's a pirate so there's the whole thieving piraty villainous way to him, but (and this is important to note) he is not a good man. He is in fact a heartless bastard. Quite literally. He will quite happily kill, even go out of his way to do such. Destroying an entire ship of men to get one person(As shown when the Kraken takes out the ship with jacks hat on it. his hat only!) In DnD terms his alignment would be Chaotic Evil
Barbossa i'd pit somewhere in the middle between those two. He'll negotiate when it is useful and he is most certainly a selfish person out to serve himself. He is also quite happy to kill when it's needed and will not care at all for the lives taken. Heartless he is not, bastard he most definitely is. He'd keep his word but he'll twist it to serve his purpose. He's alignment i would guess to be Lawful evil.
I would like to ask for some small leeway, that being the death of my character would mean the death of the story, so inherentlythere may be OOC moments. I do so in the full sense of the word fun and to amuse. Additionally peoples opinions of the characters vary, so what one may think to be acceptable another will not.
As a footnote i'd like to say this is just a story aiming to get a laugh from the absurd situations found in it. Also i like to pretend to have deep and meaningful thoughts which would explain these author notes at the bottom of the chapters. They amuse me to write and ask you bare with them as an eccentric habit of this writer.