Chapter 9

Rin had never moved so fast in her life.

Today was the day that her medic unit was to relocate. There was less activity in the area in which she was camped, so they were told to move…to Camp Six.

Kakashi's Camp…

Rin couldn't believe her eyes when she read the transfer note posted in her mailbox.

The last letter Kakashi had written her had been posted from Camp Six. A month had passed since his departure.

"I'm so excited!" Shizune exclaimed when she met up with Rin later that day. "We'll know more people at Camp Six. They've consolidated a bunch of other encampments, so I imagine we'll see some familiar faces."

But when they finally did reach Camp Six's command post, Rin realized something without even having to ask.

Kakashi isn't here.

She didn't know how to explain it, this feeling that was the complete opposite of what she had felt on that fateful day when he had come looking for her.

He's gone.

Rin blinked at the starry sky above her thinking about that strange moment of knowing he was out of her life.

That was over three years ago.

"Rin-senpai?"

The nineteen-year old kunoichi turned around. A boy a year younger than her with a prominent horizontal nose scar stood timidly at the entrance to the hospital.

"Yes, Iruka-kun, did you need me?"

"No, but the ANBU guard radioed that we may have some new patients coming in soon."

To this day, Rin still had that sparkle of hope whenever she heard anything about ANBU and their comings and goings. She was still in the elite organization, but was dispatched only when her medic services were needed. When she was needed, Rin's responsibilities kept her just inside Konoha's borders. Ever since that last stop at Camp Six, she hadn't left the Fire Country.

"New patients?" Rin frowned, suddenly concerned. She walked over to the boy. "Any word on their condition?"

Iruka shrugged hesitantly. "They didn't really say."

Rin nodded. "Thank you, Iruka-kun."

Even though Iruka was only a year younger than her, he was a few classes behind her at the Academy and had only very recently became a chuunin. The way he blushed and stammered around the young medic led most to believe that he had a small crush on Rin, though it was lost on her. She had been busy, after all.

This year, Rin finally became a jounin, and was given the head medic position in the intensive care unit at the hospital.

The day she was promoted was one of those times when she wished her team were still alive. Jiraiya was there, beaming as if she were his own daughter. And yes, Kakashi was still alive…or was he?

She knew he was alive. Rin couldn't explain it, but when it came to intuition involving her team, she was always right. The only one left on that team besides herself was Kakashi.

Sadly, it had been three years since she's heard anything from him.

She allowed herself a brief glance at the bracelet Kakashi made for her. Iruka noticed, and since it was a source of conjecture amongst the younger set, the boy made a brave attempt to find out its history.

"Rin-senpai, can I ask where you got that bracelet?"

The kunoichi blinked out of her revere at the sudden inquiry.

"What?"

At that moment, Shizune, came running down the hallway into the lobby of the hospital to where Rin and Iruka were standing, looking a bit frantic

"Rin, thank goodness you're here. Come on! We need you right away!"

"You better get going, Iruka-kun." Rin tousled his hair, messing up his ponytail a little, then ran with Shizune down the hall.

Iruka frowned at the figure of brown and white slowly disappearing down the hall, feeling a bit frustrated. He liked her ever since they met that day when she set his broken index and middle fingers. He remembered relating the story of how he broke them by running into wall. The sound of her laughter really won his affection. Iruka had always seen Rin as someone who rarely smiled and to see her laugh like that made him want to really try hard to get her to do it again.

But somehow he knew she wasn't paying attention to him or to any of the other guys that looked her way.

Iruka was convinced there was already someone she loved, but who? He was never around, whoever he was. What kind of a guy was that? Certainly, she deserved better.

It was late before Rin was finally able to leave the hospital. The injuries the anbu had sustained weren't too serious, just messy so she wanted to keep a close eye on them. They would live, and Rin was glad that she was a part of that.

Now she was unbelievably tired. The streets were deserted and there was no moon tonight, so she had to squint to discern the edges of the road.

"Want me to walk you home?" a deep voice said from behind her.

Rin jumped, but sighed in relief when she realized it was only Genma.

"Oh, Genma, could you? I can barely stand straight."

The two fell into step. Without fail, Genma was there for her, making sure that she was alright.

Rin liked Genma, and as far as she could tell, he was very protective of her. For a while now, Genma had been dating Shizune, and the two had a clear understanding the nature of Genma and Rin's relationship. Genma looked out for Rin like an older brother would, just as he promised Kakashi he would.

The thought sobered Rin, and Genma immediately picked up on it.

"Hey, what's the matter? Did some creep give you a hard time?"

Rin barely acknowledged his attempt to be light.

"No…"

Genma frowned. Seeing Rin this way always made him feel uncomfortable, because he knew why she was feeling so down lately. The girl was intelligent, beautiful, and available, although she didn't make herself available. Her heart still belonged to Kakashi. Genma marveled at her devotion.

It had been three years, and Kakashi hadn't returned. There was no letter, nothing to hint that he was thinking of her. Genma felt he had to say something. He waited until they were at a brightly lit street intersection before reaching out to catch her arm.

"Rin, I need to talk to you."

The kunoichi was startled. Genma usually kept to himself. If he had to say something, it was something important.

"Oh? What is it?"

Walking aimlessly in the shadows, Kakashi stumbled along the dark side streets of Konoha, reaching for the adjacent stucco walls for guidance.

It's been three years…

He had just come back from his long solo mission in the Snow Country, walking in his sleeveless ANBU uniform. The night was a little chilly, but after his long stint in the Snow Country, the temperatures in Konoha felt balmy in comparison. It was after midnight, and Kakashi felt that going to the headquarters to fill out his mission report could wait until at least tomorrow. Instead, he had gone over to Rin's house only to find, with a bit of shock and embarrassment, that a different family lived there now. He had jumped onto the windowsill of her room only to find a little girl standing there, staring at him with wide eyes on the verge of screaming at the top of her lungs.

Not being able to write to Rin while he was in the Snow Country devastated Kakashi. It almost killed him to maintain mission silence for all that time. He had wondered whether she still thought about him at all, since he always thought of her on the nights when he was alone, looking up at the sky and wondering if she was doing the very same thing.

"Rin, I need to talk to you."

Kakashi stopped in the darkness of the side street.

Rin?

"Oh? What is it?" her tired sounding voice replied amiably.

There was a pause, as if the other person was hesitating.

"It's…it's hard seeing you like this, Rin."

Rin sounded surprised. "Like what, Genma?"

Genma?

"Like you're unhappy. Don't think we don't notice."

Kakashi blinked, but didn't dare move.

Rin's…unhappy?

Since Rin didn't object, Genma continued, his voice softer.

"How do you do it, Rin? It's been three years since you've seen or heard from Kakashi. I know you love him, but him not being here is eating you alive. It doesn't have to be this way. Kakashi is off doing his work in ANBU because it's what makes him happy. Why won't you at least give someone else a chance to – "

"A chance to what?" Rin cut him off abruptly. Up until then, she seemed resigned to whatever Genma had to say, but when she finally realized what he was alluding to, she felt something erupt inside her. "I've just been working a lot lately, and perhaps the stress of it is getting to me."

She sighed, but the firmness in her voice was clear. Rin looked Genma straight in the eye.

"I appreciate your concerns, Genma. Maybe you're right about him. But what I have with Kakashi isn't anyone's business but…my own."

After a moment, Rin started to walk away.

"My apartment is just down the block. I can make it from here." She paused. "Thank you for being frank with me."

Genma stared after the kunoichi, irritated that he probably made her feel worse rather than better, reminding her of her loss rather than what she could possibly gain. He slowly turned to walk in the direction of his own place, only to balk at the sight of a young man with silver hair, slanted hitae-ate, and masked face.

Kakashi? When...?

Genma felt his face suddenly grow very hot.

How much of that conversation did he hear?

Kakashi slowly emerged fully into the glare of the streetlight.

The sandy-haired chuunin looked away, chagrined. Shutting his eyes, he waited for Kakashi to react.

Yet the jounin didn't do anything deliberate. He only dragged himself past Genma, trying to remember which way Rin had gone.

As Kakashi's steps grew softer in the distance, Genma slowly opened his eyes and leaned against the stucco wall, now wondering if his talk with Rin would ruin everything for the both of them.

Rin was heading in the direction of her apartment; Genma's mild interrogation left her feeling unsettled. Deciding that she probably wouldn't be able to sleep anyway, she strolled past her apartment and continued to walk until she reached a small hill that rose slightly above the village.

The lack of the moonlight left the dark night sky glittering with stars. Rin loved to come here. The air was starting to have the slight autumn chill but she felt just right, laying on the closely clipped grass and daydreaming of times past and the people who were in it.

Rin felt restless. She wanted to say it was like a buzzing in her head that kept bringing her thoughts to Kakashi.

The kunoichi didn't want to think about Kakashi because it usually brought nothing but sadness. Though she still missed him terribly, three years was enough time to dull the brevity of their closeness.

She lay back, placed her arms behind her head and consoled herself in the surrounding darkness. There was nothing to distract her from the beautiful stars in the sky.

Obito used to find her here all those years ago. It turned out that it was one of his favorite spots to go as well, and it became a ritual for them to come out and just laugh and talk about anything and everything. It didn't happen as often as she would have liked, but it was one of those things that you didn't know you loved until it was gone. She missed her team so much. Now Rin felt rudderless with no sensei to guide her, no Obito to encourage and make her laugh, and no Kakashi to…

Just what did Kakashi do for her?

Closing her eyes for a moment, she figured the question she should ask herself was what was so attractive about him? To her, he was handsome, but his face was something she rarely saw so that wasn't it. He wasn't romantic. But the last time he was with her, she saw the other side of the coin that was Kakashi. He was aloof, yet loyal; confident in his abilities, yet humbled by Obito's sacrifice and lesson in humility; quiet, yet every word he said was sincere; seemingly emotionless, but when finding something he loved, he was passionate and capable of true feeling.

So the fact that she was the only one to see that other side of him was enough. Only now, she wasn't sure whether he had changed. ANBU didn't allow those types of feelings to be expressed.

That they hadn't communicated in three years wasn't helping any.

Rin's chest ached. She felt that if she opened her eyes and didn't see Kakashi there, her will to be strong would break.

Why do I feel like he's nearby? What's the matter with me? Kakashi's gone, far away. He's not here! Get a grip on yourself, Rin!

"Rin," a voice breathed out in the night.

Rin's eyes snapped open. She scrambled to a sitting position.

Did I fall asleep?

She squinted in the dark, frowning.

Great, am I hearing voices now?

"Rin."

She instinctively turned to the sound of the voice, and found herself staring eye to eye with its owner.

"It's me. Kakashi."

Her eyes widened.

It was Kakashi's voice, only slightly deeper than she had remembered.

As Rin sat there stupefied, Kakashi slowly reached out to gently caress her cheek.

"Rin? What's the matter?" he asked in a low voice.

The gesture must have clicked something in Rin, because she pulled away from him and stood up.

Kakashi let the hand that was held out to her drop.

"I haven't seen or heard from you in three years," Rin hissed, "and you ask me what's the matter?"

Silence.

All those years of wishing and hoping came out in that one moment. How could he simply disappear without warning, forcing her to dwell in the past, only to return three years later? Did he expect for her to be happy that he had been non-existent all that time, all the while jerking her emotions back to the present like a ripcord on a child's doll?

Naturally, Rin didn't expect a reaction from Kakashi and she didn't get one. Since it was so dark, she couldn't read his expression, but the fact that he didn't move told her that he was, at the very least, surprised.

For a few seconds, the two stared at each other in the darkness, Kakashi impervious, Rin fuming.

Then Kakashi himself stood up, saying softly, "I overheard you and Genma earlier. I didn't realize you were unhappy."

Rin was silent. She didn't know that. The seconds ticked away, along with most of her anger.

When she spoke again, her voice was calm.

"Do you think you can just…come back here and pretend that three years didn't go by? You can just…stand there and act like everything is okay?"

Kakashi shifted his position again, and she could see vaguely that he had squared his shoulders and hips, facing her directly. They were really only standing a few inches apart, but to Rin, he may as well have been a million miles away.

Seeing that he had to explain himself, Kakashi spoke quickly, the words rushing out of his mouth.

"Things happened so quickly when they finally commissioned me for my first solo ANBU mission, Rin. I was not allowed to communicate what – "

"Shut up."

" – I was assigned or how long I was going to be gone. I didn't realize I had to maintain mission silence until – "

"Shut up!"

Kakashi obeyed. Rin never raised her voice, and it alarmed him.

"I'm not questioning your dedication to ANBU, Kakashi," the kunoichi said shortly. Her voice was soft again, but it barely covered the thin veil of anger and hurt underneath.

"I've realized that Konoha and ANBU desperately need you as much as I need you," she continued, but this time, her voice took on a tone of sadness. "What I wonder is… "

Rin paused and Kakashi heard a sudden intake of air, as if she was trying to stop herself from crying.

"…whether you need me as much as you need ANBU."

Kakashi felt a stab of guilt. He took it for granted that Rin would always be there for him. The love he had for her hadn't diminished in the three years he was away, but because the ANBU mission took all his attention, Rin's feelings weren't really taken into consideration.

Kakashi was stunned.

Before he could come to his senses and reply, Rin stepped aside and walked away. Kakashi stood in the open field underneath the stars, bewildered and alone.

After leaving Kakashi earlier, Genma had stopped by Shizune's apartment before going back to his own place.

When he told her that Kakashi had finally returned to Konoha, Shizune frowned.

"My sentiments exactly," Genma remarked.

"You're the one who said Kakashi was loyal," Shizune said. "Did he do something that made you change your mind?"

Genma leaned against her kitchen table in thought.

"No, Kakashi is and always will be loyal. He'll definitely stick with Rin like glue. It's just... his perceptions on what a real relationship ought to be – I don't think he realizes what being committed to someone really means."

Shizune flopped back on her couch, resting the back of her hand on her forehead.

"I'm just worried about Rin, Genma. She's devoted too, but it's always been that way. Kakashi never gave her the time of day until Obito died." She brought her hand down and peered at Genma with heavy lidded eyes. "Now it's just complicated."

Genma frowned. You either loved someone or you didn't. What was so complicated about that?

He was still thinking about that as he strolled back to his apartment five blocks away when he heard someone above him call him out.

The silhouette of Kakashi perched on top of a boundary wall startled him.

Before he had time to think, the silver-haired jounin was already in front of him. And even Genma could tell from the deadpan stare that Kakashi was not in a good mood.

"Where does Rin live?" Kakashi asked plainly, foregoing the pleasantries as usual.

Genma responded with a silent stare, and tried to walk past him.

Kakashi moved to stop Genma in a single fluid motion.

"Where does she live?" he repeated, this time his voice revealed the small bit of urgency and impatience he felt.

"If she didn't tell you," Genma replied flatly, "then it's none of your business."

In a surprise move, Genma charged Kakashi and shoved him up against the wall.

"Hatake, you ass. She's been waiting for you while you were off having fun in ANBU for three years. Couldn't you have at least told her that you were going to be away all this time? Don't you realize how hard it was on her?"

Even though the pain from the throw took his breath away, it was Genma's words that really made Kakashi wince.

Genma focused his eyes on Kakashi to check for a response, to see if the boy that Rin loved was capable of any feeling. As the years ticked by, Genma felt that Kakashi had forgotten about Rin in the excitement of ANBU work. He knew of the code of mission silence, but he felt that Kakashi could have at least sent some word, something, to let Rin - his precious person - know what was going on.

His shove had raised Kakashi's hitae-ate up, revealing the sharingan. It was the closest Genma had ever seen the mysterious bloodline trait.

Seeing the eye startled him, and he lost his fighting resolve. He blinked, then released Kakashi, and looked away. He knew he should forget it. Just like Rin had said, it was really none of his business.

"She lives in a five story building just three blocks up from here, third floor, second apartment on the left."

Kakashi pushed himself off the wall and immediately began to walk. He turned and looked over his shoulder at Genma.

"Thanks."

Then he took off. Genma stood watching his form disappear, feeling ambivalent at best.

When she left Kakashi at the grassy hill, Rin ran straight back to her apartment in record time.

She made a beeline to the bathroom and turned on the hot shower.

Leaning against the shower wall, Rin felt the scalding water running down her body while choking back a sob.

Kakashi isn't worth crying about.

The kunoichi took a deep breath and felt the urge to cry subside. The hot water and steam seemed to make a good remedy for her aching heart. Her welled up emotions rolled away along with the hot water.

When Rin finally shut the water off, she came out of the tub and wiped the condensation from the small medicine cabinet mirror.

She hadn't really changed since she was fourteen, except that she was taller now and had lost her baby fat. Her hair was longer so she could keep it tied back when working at the hospital, but overall, she wasn't anything special, just the same old Rin.

Why do I still love him?

Rin squinted at her image in the mirror, waiting for some kind of response. But her reflection offered her none, and it slowly disappeared as the glass fogged up from the steam.

Grabbing her bathrobe, she came into the bedroom to change.

Keeping her room dark, she reached over for her pajamas when she turned just in time to see Kakashi at her windowsill.

Before she could move, Kakashi was already on her. Unfortunately, he underestimated Rin's speed. She managed to roll away from him to stand at the foot of the bed. As she watched him for another attempt, she pulled the robe tighter around her body.

"What are you doing here?"

Kakashi moved closer until he stood in front of her. After all this time, he still hadn't seen her face since he was back. Rin began back away, hesitantly.

"Rin, there's some things I need to say," he began.

Rin then realized that she had walked backwards at Kakashi's slow advance, finding herself halted by the wall.

Kakashi took the advantage immediately and reached her in less than three steps. Rin reactively put a hand out to stop him, but felt his fingers wrap around her wrist instead.

"Let go of me," she said sharply..

Kakashi tightened his grip on Rin's wrist just a little more. He tried to grab her other arm.

The intense emotions of having him there, touching her, and his arrogance at thinking he could just walk into her home uninvited broke her patience.

Without warning, her open free hand swept up quickly, connecting hard with the side of Kakashi's masked face. He rolled with the strike but Rin could see the lack of shock in his gaze.

With speed faster than she had ever imagined, Kakashi grabbed her other wrist before she could return it back to her side. He pressed both arms up over her head, holding her wrists to the wall. His face had moved so close to hers with their new proximity. Her body pressed against his with each desperate breath she took.

Rin stood stiffly in front of him, her eyes wide with shock.

There were a few seconds of silence except for the water dripping into the sink from the bathroom faucet.

"I told you to let me go," she whispered breath hoarsely, suddenly aware of her vulnerability.

"Don't push me away now, not when I'm finally here with you."

"I didn't want to see you, Kakashi."

Despite her seemingly precarious situation, her anger died away as the moments passed. Kakashi wasn't going to hurt her - least not physically.

"I know."

"I was afraid that I still loved you," she confessed finally.

"I hoped that you would," he answered.

"My fear, your wish – both granted." She looked him in the eye, and he returned her gaze.

"Why are you still wearing the bracelet if you had doubts about me?" he asked quietly.

Rin looked away. "I don't hate you, Kakashi. I hate…not seeing you, not hearing from you, not knowing if – "

"I still love you?" he finished for her.

The kunoichi balked, her knees suddenly feeling weak and she stood unsteadily before his unyielding gaze.

Kakashi's hands released her wrists to drop to her waist. He could feel how unsteady she was; he was feeling it too. Closing the small bit of distance between them, Kakashi held her against the wall with his body. Rin didn't object.

"Please let me do this right," Kakashi whispered, and brought his face down to hers. Rin parted her own, feeling the brush of Kakashi's. He held himself there, perhaps waiting to see if Rin would object. It felt like forever as he waited.

Rin didn't want to wait anymore.

"Don't hesitate now," she whispered.

As if the wall between them had crumbled Kakashi pressed his mouth to hers.

The kiss was something both had longed for in their dreams, only this time it was reality.

Rin realized that the only thing separating her from him was her flimsy bathrobe with the tie coming loose.

Before she could do anything with it, Kakashi pulled away and gently led her to her bed.

"Can I stay? I just want to be here with you."

Rin wondered if this was his way of apologizing. She couldn't be sure. The two still needed to talk about their communication issues. But that could wait until tomorrow.

For now, all that mattered was that he came back looking for her, and now here they were, lying next to each other. The heat from their closeness melted the three years of shared loneliness and longing.

Tomorrow was a brand new day…but now, the night was theirs.

Ahh! Sorry sorry sorry! I didn't mean to take this long...gah. I had to do alot of rewriting to get this chapter the way I wanted it to be. Thanks again to LEAFYGIRL! I couldn't have done it without you, girl! You're amazing.

Reviews are welcome!