Hence These Tears

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All of my life I have only wanted happiness. That one word. Is that so much to ask for?

Am I predestined to live a life of sorrow and pain? It seems that after all the years I have survived through, nothing has changed. The closest people in my life are here one day and gone the next. Nothing is stable in my life...and I should be accustomed to that fact. So why is it so hard to accept that another person has stepped out of my life?

I've lost my parents, my home, my friends, and ALMOST the entire Planet. Luckily, Lifestream came to the rescue, but its help didn't come without a price. Just months after our Planet was saved, Geostigma broke out. The epidemic was plaguing everyone, especially the children. I was surprised that it didn't plague me. I wanted the innocent kids to live; I could handle dying slowly...I've been dying slowly inside each day anyway.

I took one last look at Marlene and Denzel sleeping peacefully before stepping into the bathroom with a pair of scissors in my hand. I locked the door behind me and moved in front of the mirror.

People have always told me that I was stunning, especially men. They would usually enter my bar each day to admire me...and it was truly sickening. I had no choice but to smile. What else could I do? I needed business to finance my life.

Honestly, I didn't see the beautiful visage 'they' all saw. The reflection staring back at me was just an ordinary girl with tired dark eyes and pale lips that had lost the ability to naturally smile. However, the one thing that I did find attractive about myself was my hair. I never had a single haircut in my life...so in a way, my hair represented everything in my life. My long brown strands had been with me every moment of my life...whether they were the good times or the bad. They grew with me. As I aged, my strands would lengthen.

And now they were past my knees.

My long hair had been with me for twenty-one years. Saying good-bye was extremely hard. I fought hard to keep back tears as I grabbed a fistful of my locks and rapidly starting cutting away. I felt like I was cutting away a part of my life with each inch shorter...but I feel like it must be done.

All the anger, pain, and sadness had to be severed from my life.

I cried out in pain as the sharp tip accidentally pierced my index finger, but I didn't care. The bathroom floor was hardly visible beneath the thick layers of my hair. I can no longer control my hot tears anymore as they spilled from my eyes, rolling down my cheeks and landing with each strand of hair on the floor. My hands shook uncontrollably, blood drawn with every maneuver I made.

My hair was up to my waist now, but that wasn't enough. I could still feel the tension coursing through my body as old memories played before my eyes. They had to be cut...they ALL had to be cut.

Nibelheim. ShinRa. Sephiroth. Mama, papa. Sector Seven. They ALL had to stop haunting me. Even...Cloud...

As I thought about my childhood friend, my body wildly writhed back and forth. He was the hardest one to let go...but if letting go was part of moving on with my life, then so be it! I could still smell his signature scent, I could still feel him standing next to me as he gently caressed my long locks...but they're gone now...and so is he.

Yes. He left without a single good-bye. Just...disappeared off to God knows where.

"You want to play like that, Strife? You want to forget me? Well two can play this game. I can forget about you too!" I cried to myself as my fingers trailed over the smooth blade of the scissors. Taking a final breath of courage, I cleanly sliced off the final horrible memory of Cloud leaving.

I dropped the scissors but never heard it touch the floor. It landed on the soft black mass without any sound. I took a look at myself in the mirror...and for once, I was satisfied. My hair now reached the middle of my back; it was truly a significant difference than my old style.

I won't let the past haunt me anymore.

This is a new me.

A new Tifa Lockheart.

A new beginning.

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Author's Notes: An angsty piece, I know. Please leave me a comment and thank you so much for reading!