Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade.
Title: Waiting in the Wings
Chapter Title: Waiting for Release
Rating: T
Categories: Romance/Drama
Summary: Mariam and Kai both want to be independent, not relying on someone else. Not relying on 'love'. When they meet, their opinions only grow stronger. But could there be love waiting in the fiery wings of Dranzer?
Feedback: Reviews! YUM! Flames? Why would you bother?
Status: Slow updates due to my illness.
Notes: Leave me alone. I've been ill and managed to get my lazy arse to school, only to be sent back again. Thus, I have retired to my laptop and am trying to get my aching head to work. This nearly killed me, I tell you. My nose is running, my throat is dry, my skin is sweaty and my face is red. Thus, I don't feel great.

But why do you care, huh? You only care about my stories! Excuse me while I go quietly die in the corner! Sorry for wasting your time but hey! You probably skip my notes and go straight to the story! (I know that's what I do)

WHAT! TRAITOROUS FINGERS!

Yes, my illness has invoked my insanity. Leave me be ((sleeps)).

WAITING IN THE WINGS

Kai/Mariam
Mariam and Kai both want to be independent, not relying on someone else. Not relying on 'love'. When they meet, their opinions only grown stronger. But could there be love waiting in the fiery wings of Dranzer?

Flowerperson
© 2005

Part VIII
Waiting for Release

"Bah!" she scoffed, "What do you know about love? You're just a cold-hearted jerk being all moody and irritating anyone that comes near you! You don't care about anyone!"

He walked forwards – only an inch between them – and gazed deep into her emerald eyes with his mahogany ones. Kai was so close that she could feel his warm breath fanning her face. The red tinge returned to her cheeks, and her forest green eyes were half-lidded as he leaned closer.

A sudden thought ran through her mind.

He's going to kiss me!

And as Mariam waited for his lips to descend on hers, she felt his cold hand hold onto her warm fingers. As they said, 'cold hands – warm heart'. Could Kai Hiwatari really be this romantic? Was she letting him? Was Mariam falling for this once heartless Russian? After all she had gone through with Ozuma, was she falling into another trap? Did she really want another relationship? Not only that, but a relationship with Kai?

Yes, oh yes… her mind whispered to her as he grew even closer. In less than a second from now, she would feel his soft (or would they be rough?) lips on her own. Would he be a good kisser? Would he sweep her off her feet and carry her into the sunset?

She was about to release a quiet sigh, but a yelp escaped instead when she felt her hand being pulled as Kai took a step back and continued to walk away, his hand still holding hers.

Speechless, she wondered what on Earth was going on! Suddenly very angry (at him and herself), she voiced her confusion. "Kai! What are you doing? Where are you taking me? Joseph…" Now she was even more furious with her strange behaviour. She had been so caught up in what she had thought had been romance, she had completely forgotten about her brother's predicament… and his words to her.

Is Joseph right? Could I possibly have feelings for Kai?

"Kai! I mean it! Where are you taking me? I demand to know!" Now they were going down the stairs and as they reached a landing between the first and second floor, Mariam pulled her wrist out of his grip indignantly.

He turned to her and glowered, his brown-red eyes – did they also seem a bit purple? – becoming narrow slits. She suddenly felt afraid of his expression, and took a hesitant step back (although it wasn't as frightening as her brother's fury). "You said I didn't care about anyone but I am going to prove you wrong."

So that was why he was getting so rattled up! But why would Kai even care about what Mariam had said? He should have grunted and walked away – that would have been in-character. But no, he had stepped closer to her, like he had been going to…

Kiss me, her mind answered. Why had she just stood there? Why had she welcomed the contact? Thank goodness it hadn't happened, for clearly Mariam was without common sense. Her brother was in 'intensive care' for crying out loud! When had she become so selfish and disrespectful of her own brother! When had she become such a mess?

And why did these questions torment her so? When she had been young (a mere child), she had been so cocky and full of herself, always believing that she was right and never in the wrong. She was never doubtful of her instincts and actions – she had never doubted the love she shared for her smaller (smarter) brother.

Kai said she was wrong. The younger Mariam would have retaliated with a fiery temper – this one merely mumbled two words that even she could not hear. At least she said something. Something must be better than nothing, right?

She was nothing.

One day, she would become something.

"One day, you shall have to grow up. And not for your brother's sake, but for your own. You try to be an adult but you are nothing more than a child, Mariamu; a foolish child." (1)

That had been what an old, greying female Elder had told her. She had used her full name; the name that Mariam despised for it was the name used when someone was ridiculing her. She had always abhorred the 'u' that stuck on the end – an extra syllable that taunted the very essence of her name. It was meant to stop sharply, and yet the 'oo' at the end seemed to drag it on for an eternity.

Foolish Mariamu.

Childish Mariamu.

Irresponsible Mariamu.

She had grown up.

She had matured.

She was responsible.

Then was she suddenly wishing for the days when she could simply pick up her beyblade and forget life? Why was she wishing no more than to have the silly fears of a child, than the terrors of real-life that she had to face as an adult?

Dammit! She didn't want to be responsible – she didn't want to be Joseph's support. She was selfish; she wanted Joseph to hold her in her time of need and it seemed that she in turn had pushed him over the edge. Could she save him now when she was not even able to rescue herself? Could she be strong for him when she was but a weakling?

When the outlook looked grim, Joseph had always pushed her on. He had always been optimistic, seeing the silver lining in the clouds of disdain and misery. And now that the green-haired boy had fallen and crumbled despite his almighty spirit, how could Mariam go on? How could she survive when even the toughest had been overwhelmed?

How could she be brave when she desired nothing else than to huddle in the corner?

She couldn't be the hero if her heart was not courageous, not strong, not noble, and not responsible. Her mind was full of self-centred, immature, pitiful and cowardly thoughts. Her body was even weaker – easily broken, easily overcome.

Easily tortured by its very owner.

Joseph's feeble appearance had invoked one very strong emotion, one that had been unrecognisable until now. One that had been pushed away until now. She… wanted to give up.

Mariam would rather die than see her brother so pained, so weak.

So helpless.

His sister would have given up a thousand lives, as long as Joseph was revived and healed. She would have done it herself as long as she could erase the image of his impassive face… or even his eyes full of tears… the worst had been his furious expression as he held the knife above her… as he towered over her in a manner that had made her…

Helpless.

Utterly, utterly helpless.

But how would taking her pitiful life change anything? How would destroying all he had left benefit the younger, former Saint-Shield? Mariam – after all – was Joseph's only family member. She had been his guardian for a long time (albeit a not very good one; who had been guarding who?). Indeed, it seemed that instead, the green-haired sibling looked after his older sister.

Joseph. You are not here. I can't get your angry face out of my mind. Every time I blink I see those (mocking) tubes enter you, pumping (stealing) blood and slowly (killing) healing you.

I wish nothing more than to see your smile.

And yet, I am left with your tired eyes.

Your emotionless eyes.

Your teary eyes.

Your enraged eyes.

They shine crimson, though your irises are an emerald green.

I wish to see your smile, Joseph.

Please, may you smile for me?

She had not even noticed Kai was calling her name until he shook her roughly, stealing her away from her reverie regarding her younger brother. Her injured brother. Her helpless brother.

All she wanted was a release.

"Mariam!" he shook her once more, noting the emptiness of her forest green eyes. She was deep in thought; not listening to a word that the slate-haired Russian had to say. Well he'd been damned if he was going to let her ignore him. He didn't talk much, and he'd kick anyone's ass if they didn't listen. He did not waste breath. He only talked when it was necessary.

And it was necessary that she listened!

She had insisted that he was heartless. She had commented on his cold personality in a poisonous manner. She had claimed that he cared for no-one (and was not cared for by anyone?).

He had stated that she was incorrect, and in retaliation (if you could call it that), she had murmured something under her breath. Kai was not able to hear her delicate whisper, but he was sure that she had said something. And since it had been under her breath, it probably wasn't very friendly. The ex-Blade-Breaker (how shameful to have Tyson as a captain!) was determined what she had used as a pathetic insult.

So pathetic, she couldn't even say it to his face.

Her eyes held some life, but still did not focus on Kai. He shook her harder – probably damaging brain-cells as he did this and would not help her dumb-expression but he required answers. Kai had to hear what she had said.

"Mariam!" he repeated, calling her name once more. Why did she not respond? Had that mutter been all she had left? Had that whisper been all she could answer with? This was not the spitfire he had encountered a few days ago.

Look how so much had changed in a short matter of time.

"What did you say? Tell me, Mariam!"

Mariam's eyes focused now on his face now, recognising the blue triangles, deep mahogany eyes and slate-coloured hair thus recognising Kai's identity. She opened her mouth and closed it before opening it once more. Her voice was slightly louder, though still a whisper. The male beyblader had to strain his ears to hear the words that escaped from her pale lips. "You're right…"

"You're right…"? That was what she had said? No hasty defence? No feisty comeback? She… she said I was right?

"I am always wrong," she continued, insulting herself with a venomous amount of self-loathing. "I am so immature. I am so pitiful. I am so cowardly. I am so selfish. Joseph is cursed with me as his sister. I am blessed with him as a brother, and yet I have tainted even him with my cowardice, weakness, immaturity and selfishness." Her eyes began to water; tears threaten to spill from their deaths as Mariam mourned over how she had contaminated her brother's optimism.

Kai grunted and crossed his arms, "Please, Mariam. Spare me your self-pitying speech. You are a good sister, okay? Is that what you wish to hear? You are far kinder to your family than I. You are far more devoted to your loved ones than I."

"What do you mean, Kai?" she questioned, her moist jade green irises observing him in curiosity then drying as she angrily wiped away the few tears she had left. "Who is this person that you care about? Who is this loved one of yours?" Had the emotionless Russian really changed? Had someone melted his heart of ice?

He took her hand (much softer than before) and dragged her into the lobby. People stared at her red, puffy eyes but Kai ignored their looks and took her straight to the pay-phones. They were black and shiny and stated in Japanese the instructions for using it, as well as the forms of payment it accepted. Kai put in the amount of yen that it required and dialled a number.

When the person answered, he asked for 'Gou' and then shoved the phone into Mariam's hands. She shakily put it to her ear, wondering who exactly this 'Gou' was.

"Hello?" The voice was high-pitched and timid yet full of friendliness – a child (a boy). She was speechless at first, unsure of what to say. There was a young boy on the telephone, whom Kai cared deeply for.

"Ask him who Kai Hiwatari is," the mahogany-eyed man instructed, his narrow eyes glaring deep into her soul. Her eyes felt sore, and yet she was too distracted to cry. She nodded shyly before stammering into the phone what Kai had asked her to do. If she was stronger (like Joseph), she would never have been ordered around like this.

"Who i-is Kai H-Hiwatari to you?"

There was a chuckle down the line – like a childish giggle – before it erupted into all-out laughter. Kai himself smirked as he waited for Mariam to hear the news. As he waited to prove her wrong.

"Silly lady. He's my daddy!" (2)

The ebony receiver fell from Mariam's hands and dangled on its grey, plastic cord that was spiralled. Kai picked up the phone, told Gou he would phone later (and explain) before putting it back in its appropriate slot, effectively hanging up. His change dropped to the flap, but he made no move to collect the money. After all, he did possess a fortune and did not intend on wasting it lavishly.

Instead he walked away, leaving Mariam to her shock.

So shocked that even mentally, she was speechless.

Authoress' Notes

Bwa ha! And now ye know of Gou's connection with Kai! Yes, Mariam does sound suicidal and yes, it is deliberate.

(1) – I have no idea on the details of the Saint-Shield's village Elders. However, the name Mariamu was noted on a website I went on and claimed it was the 'Romanized' version. I used it… simply because.

(2) – Yes, Gou is in fact Kai's son. The identity of his mother has never been revealed and I suppose I'll have to deal with that later, if I decide to deal with it. Now you all see the importance of Gou! It shows that Kai has changed (slightly) and is capable of feeling love (or caring) for someone. Now that he's developed love from father to son, let us see about the romance ((insert evil laugh)).

Well done to those who recognised Gou's identity! ((hands out Gou plushies))

Flowerperson

(Aha! I bet you thought Mariam and Kai were going to kiss! Nope! No kisses yet! Ha! I feel awful, therefore you must suffer too! ((coughs to death)))