For a few days after the date Kaoru completely avoided Kenshin, giving any excuse she had so she didn't have to see him. Trying to keep to herself, Kaoru became sullen and withdrawn. Soon even Sano stopped trying to get her to talk, leaving her alone to sulk at her tiny desk. Squeezing her eyes shut as tightly as she could, Kaoru tried her best to block the memories that had refused to leave her alone since that night.
"That will never happen again Kaoru," Kaoru would whisper to herself, trying desperately to comfort herself in any way possible. It wasn't working. Sighing in frustration, Kaoru stood.
"What are you doing Missy?" Sano asked, looking up from his own work.
'I don't feel well," Kaoru replied, rubbing her head. "I'm taking a sick day." She started to leave.
"Are you going to be okay?" Sano stood and followed her. "Maybe I should drive you home, or at least walk you to your car."
"I don't own a car," Kaoru replied. "Besides, I'm a big girl, and I can find my way home by myself." Pushing herself harder, Kaoru briskly walked out of the office, leaving Sano to stand in her frosty wake.
"If you won't let me watch over you," Sano grinned openly as he thought to himself. "Then I know the perfect person who can."
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Kaoru was almost home free; she continued to briskly walk down the hallway with her head lowered so she wouldn't attract any attention. Making her way to the elevator, Kaoru froze when she heard someone call her name.
"Kaoru!" Kenshin was walking towards her from the far end of the hallway.
'Don't look Kamiya,' Kaoru told herself desperately. 'Pretend you didn't hear.' Kaoru tried to look cool and nonchalant as she quickly hit the down button. Kenshin was walking towards her, and he was picking up pace. Kaoru hit the button again, praying silently that the elevator would arrive before he did. Closer, Kenshin was almost to her. Kaoru forgot to portray calm and began to frantically hit the button. Of all the times, she did not feel like talking, especially to Himura Kenshin.
'Stupid elevator!' Kaoru cursed in her head. 'Hurry up, come on!' Finally the bell rang and the doors slowly slid open. Not even waiting for them to fully open for her, Kaoru squeezed inside.
"Kaoru, wait!" Kenshin began to jog towards her. Panic rose inside Kaoru's throat as she whirled and hit the 'close door' button. For a painful moment, the doors held open, and then they slowly, ever so slowly began to slide close. Kenshin was gaining ground on her, the hallway never seemed so small to Kaoru. She felt like a trapped doe, waiting for the hunter to shoot.
"Kaoru!" Kenshin called again, he was now sprinting.
"Come on baby," Kaoru gently cooed to the elevator. "Come one, close for me. Hurry, just close for me.' The doors were almost closed and Kaoru thought she was safe. Safe from talking, safe from the questions that she knew Kenshin wanted to ask her. Kenshin put on a burst of speed, one Kaoru thought no human being could even possess. His hand shot through the closing doors, causing them to open right back up. He walked calmly into the elevator, looking a little disheveled. Calmly though, he reached over Kaoru and hit the button that would bring the elevator to the parking lot. The doors closed leaving Kaoru trapped inside with someone she did not want to talk to. Encased in the tight area, the couple stood in silence. Kaoru could hear the beating of her heart pounding in her ears.
"Sano told me you were sick," Kenshin finally spoke, breaking the thick silence, with the same effect of throwing a rock in a calm, serene lake. Breaking the smooth service, the elevator loudly roared around them.
"I wanted to make sure you got home alright," Kenshin continued, his gaze was directed towards the floor.
"Thanks but I can handle myself," Kaoru responded softly, though her tone was still as cold as ice. The chill that radiated from her being could almost cause the buttons to frost.
"Look," Kenshin tore his gaze from the ground and looked at Kaoru, who stubbornly refused to return his gaze. "We need to talk. I don't believe that you are truly ill but I'm willing to let you take the day off anyway if you'll just talk to me."
"Fine," Kaoru brought her cold, tough blue eyes up to meet his. "What do you want to know? Why I tore away from you, why I've been avoiding you?"
"Look," Kenshin calmly replied, though Kaoru could sense anger and frustration seething through. "I'll drive you home and on the way we'll stop for coffee. All I'm asking for is fifteen minutes, sound like a plan?"
"Fine," Kaoru closed her eyes and fought back her shivers. He was right; he deserved some sort of explanation. Kaoru owed him that much, no matter how much she didn't want to.
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For the first ten minutes at Starbucks Kenshin and Kaoru sat in complete silence. Kaoru was silently pondering while Kenshin patiently waited, both of them had coffee but neither had taken and drinks.
"Look Kaoru," Kenshin finally spoke. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been so aggressive I-,"
"It wasn't your fault," Kaoru interrupted, her eyes were lowered. "Honestly, I was, enjoying myself until," Kaoru stopped and took a deep breathe, suddenly aware of how her ribs rattled around her lungs when she would breath deeply.
"What?" Kenshin asked, clearly confused. "If it wasn't me, then what was it?"
"My past," Kaoru bit back a whimper, feeling the waves of terror that used to control her come back. "It wasn't you at all, it was me."
"I don't understand," Kenshin spoke softly to her. Clamping her eyes shut as tightly as she could, Kaoru began.
"I've always been slightly intimidated by men," Kaoru spoke, her voice was so soft Kenshin had to lean in to hear her. "Ever since my father, I couldn't stand being around any men because I was afraid they were all alike."
"You're father was that bad?" Kenshin asked, his eyes resembled red hot liquid metal, waiting to be formed, waiting to be molded.
"He was horrible," Kaoru replied, her voice was barely squeezing through her constricted throat. "For fourteen years of my life he abused me, verbally, physically," Kaoru's voice grew even softer. "Sexually. I was taken away, sent to an orphanage in Wisconsin while he was sent to prison, where he died of some sort of disease shortly after. For the longest time I didn't trust a single man, not until my eleventh grade year in high school."
"What happened?" Kenshin prodded as gently as he could.
"I met someone," Kaoru clamped her hands together tightly, her nails bit her palms cruelly, but she welcomed the pain. "Someone whom I loved deeply and someone who loved me back. It was the most wonderful feeling in the world, I hadn't ever had anyone love me, really love me. He treated me with respect, with care, like I actually had worth." Kenshin sat silently, waiting for Kaoru to regain her thoughts.
"We dated," Kaoru continued after swallowing hard. "For the rest of my high school career, and after graduation he proposed." Kaoru heard something drip on the table, glancing down she saw tears gathering in a small pool, her own tears. She was crying. Her blue eyes remained translucent; her skin didn't swell or puff from the tears. Neither did they redden; her face was remarkable clear for such tears.
"Of course I accepted," Kaoru lowered her face, hoping Kenshin wouldn't see her tears. "I loved him; there was nothing more in the world that I wanted than to be with him for the rest of my life, just to remain at his side would be bliss."
"We decided to hold the wedding off," Kaoru was quite aware that her voice was cracking. "He wanted to give me a grand wedding, the best money could buy. I told him all I wanted was him but he insisted. Thank God." Kaoru was now sucking air in through clenched teeth, trying to stay as quiet as possible, not wanting to call any attention to herself.
"When I informed him that I would be returning to Chicago to go to college instead of going to the one we had decided to go to together, he grew angry, and I saw a side of him that I never knew."
"What did he do to you?" Kenshin asked, his voice sounded serious and full of apprehension.
"He hit me," Kaoru managed to get out in a high and squeaky voice while suppressing her sobs. Her shoulders were now shaking unbearably as she remembered, remembered the face she had loved scowling at her, remembered the hands that were once so gentle smack her hard. She could still feel the bruises and cuts he had left on her body, she could feel it in her heart. The pain had never left, though she had buried it well it always managed to resurface. Kaoru sucked in as much air as she could and continued.
"He apologized immediately afterwards, helped me tend to my wounds and convinced me it would be best if we went to the same college. I knew it was a lie, I knew it would happen again, but I wanted to believe him so badly that I stayed. I stayed despite of what my instincts told me. I still loved him, God help me, I still loved him."
"But my gut feeling was right," Kaoru was visibly shaking, not just her shoulders, not just her hands, every part of her body shook with sorrow. "He soon grew worse, he began to drink, began to do drugs, and every time something went wrong he took his anger out on me. I stayed though, I so wanted to believe that he could get better, that he would change once we got married."
"One night," Kaoru felt her body harden, her shaking stopped and she was suddenly sober. "He was so drunk, and he tried to force himself on me. When I refused, he bit me. Not once, not twice, but over and over and all over my body. I screamed, I had never screamed louder. It hurt, it hurt so much. Not just physically, but mentally, emotional, I thought I could never heal."
"Someone heard my cries," Kaoru wrapped her arms around herself as tightly as possible. "They got help and he had to spend a week in jail. That was when I realized," Kaoru bent over slightly and began to shake again. Sobs began to wrack her whole body, making her appear more fragile than a china doll. "He was never going to change, and I couldn't marry him, not unless I wanted to die. No matter how much I loved him, he didn't love me. So I left everything, I left and came to Chicago, I left my belongings, my life, and I left him in jail. I put my engagement ring in his room with a note, nothing more and went."
"I was warned," Kaoru bit her lip, hard. "By the safe house that he would come after me, that he might be sick enough to come after me. So I had to leave everything, I couldn't tell any of my friends were I was going, I had to start over new. To simply disappear, so he couldn't find me, ever. I went to college here, got a job, and now here I am." There, everything was out on the table. Kenshin, a man Kaoru barely knew and rarely trusted, knew everything about her; her darkest secrets, her past, everything.
"Kaoru," Kenshin's voice sounded far away, like it was in another time, another world. His voice was soft, and kind, offering pity to her, something that made Kaoru sick to her stomach. It was the drop of water that broke the dam, and all her emotions welled over. She had kept everything in, she had never told anyone ever and now it was too much. Hunching over in her chair, Kaoru buried her face in her hands and sobbed. Trying to muffle her sobs and hide her face, Kaoru's body shuddered and shook as it tried to drain itself of all her pain, her fear, her disappointment.
"Let it all out Kaoru," Kenshin was suddenly close to her. He had gotten up from his chair and circled around the table to stand beside her. Gently, he wrapped his arms around her, a small physical act that was more comfort than anything else. Turning her head, Kaoru buried her face in Kenshin's chest, letting out her wild sobs and mournful cries, muffling it all in his chest. She entwined her fingers in his shirt and let her sorrow control her.
'Oh Enishi!' Kaoru cried in her mind. 'I loved you; I loved you so much it hurt!' Kenshin clutched Kaoru as close as he could to his body, trying his best to shield her form horrible pain she was experiencing.
"It'll be okay Kaoru," Kenshin rested his head on top of hers and began to rub her shaking back. Cradling her head against hi chest, Kenshin felt his own eyes prick.
"You'll see Kaoru," Kenshin whispered into her ebony hair. "Everything will turn out for the better, I promise." Wrapping her in his arms more, Kenshin encased Kaoru in his arms, wishing that he could make her pain cease.
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Kaoru didn't remember getting to her apartment, didn't remember Kenshin carefully guiding her to his car and driving her home. He accompanied her up to her apartment, and he went with her inside. She now sat on the shabby couch in her pin-sized living room, her body was completely numb. All her senses were dulled and she was dimly aware that he was making tea in her tiny, crappy kitchen. He soon joined her on the couch, gently pushing a cup of steaming green tea into her hands. He encouraged her to drink, giving some sort of explanation why but Kaoru couldn't hear him. Her thoughts were on her ex-fiancée, her old love Enishi. It pained her greatly to think of him and she tried to steer her thoughts away. Suddenly she felt Kenshin's arms around her, wrapping her up in a warm embrace, and his touch broke her thoughts away from Enishi. Tearing her eyes away from her cup, she gazed into Kenshin's molten eyes. He gazed back down at her, his eyes were simply breath taking. Swirls of molten red and fiery amber clashed together, causing a storm of emotions to collide within his eyes.
"Thank you," Kaoru spoke for the first time since the coffee shop.
"Any time," Kenshin offered her a weak smile, one that would have cracked if she had touched it. Kaoru took a small sip from her tea, before she laid her head back against Kenshin's chest. Closing her eyes, Kaoru spoke,
"Please stay with me," Kaoru pleaded in a small voice. "Just for tonight, stay with me."
"I'll stay as long as you want me to," Kenshin held Kaoru tightly in his arms, kissing the top of her head softly, so soft she hardly felt it through her thick layers of hair. Darkness had fallen; the world beyond the large and slightly grubby window was shrouded in a complete night, hiding everything from view. Kenshin stared out the window for a moment; the hairs on the back of his neck were rising. As eerie as it was, it felt like someone was watching. Kaoru stirred on his chest, causing Kenshin to tear his view from the window to look down at her. Pulling away slightly, Kaoru rose so she was eye-to-eye level with Kenshin.
"Thank you," Kaoru's eyes shimmered with emotions, and she had never looked as lovely to Kenshin as she did then, so lovely and so broken.
"Anything for you," Kenshin replied. Slowly, Kaoru leaned forward and gently kissed Kenshin. Sluggishly, Kenshin felt his eyelids drop and began to kiss back. They didn't break apart, not for a long while. Both sat close, encased in each others arms, gently making out on Kaoru's couch. Kaoru's lips were soft against Kenshin's, and Kenshin allowed her to steer the kiss wherever she wanted it to go. Not one coherent thought entered Kenshin's mind. His hand slowly rubbed up and down her back, his other hand rested at the base of her back, pushing her closer and closer at an agonizing pace. He was aware of her hands, one rested timidly around his neck while the other one rested on his cheek, gently tracing his smooth skin with her fingers. Even more so, he was aware of her body pressed so very softly against his; the soft hint of her chest against his was enough to drive him mad. Her tongue was supple in his mouth, gently lapping against his tongue, tugging at his deepest desires. Placing one last deep kiss on his lips, Kaoru pulled back and gazed at him. Kenshin opened his mouth to speak, but Kaoru shushed him by placing her small finger over his lips. Kenshin kissed the finger resting against his lips and Kaoru cuddled up against his chest. Leaning back, Kenshin rested against the armrest of the chair, Kaoru snuggled on top of his body. One of her hands fisted in his shirt, while the other one still rested against his cheek. Kenshin wrapped his arms around her and watching as her tiny chest moved up and down, listened to her calm breathing. She was asleep, leaving Kenshin to stare out the window into the vast darkness.
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Kaoru awoke in Kenshin's arms, and they both remained still for the longest time. Until Kenshin gently pulled out from underneath her, assuring her he was only going to get her breakfast. He soon found that she had little to no food in her home.
'She needs a break,' Kenshin thought as he fondly stared at the young woman on the couch. 'A day to get away; and that is exactly what I'll give her.'
"What are you dong?" Kaoru asked in a small voice as Kenshin began to use her phone.
"I'm calling us both in sick," Kenshin replied. "You need a break."
"I also need money," Kaoru began to get up.
"I give sick pay," Kenshin explained. "You're not losing a cent for today."
"How can you be so good to me?" Kaoru asked standing at a short distance away from Kenshin, her gaze was directed towards the ground.
"You deserve every beautiful thing this world holds," Kenshin smiled at her, a small smile but it was enough to make Kaoru smile back.
"Are you going to stay with me?" Kaoru asked once Kenshin got off the phone.
"As long as you want me to," Kenshin took Kaoru's hand within his own. "But get dressed; today I'm treating you to anything you want."
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Kaoru didn't get back home until late that night, and Kenshin had remained by her side the whole day. He had been true to his word, he took Kaoru anywhere he thought she would like, and by the end of the day Kaoru had enough items to make her apartment pop. Kenshin walked Kaoru up to her home, helped her put the packages he had bought for her away. He leaned in and tenderly kissed Kaoru when it was time for him to leave. Kaoru closed her eyes and nearly fell into him, enjoying his touch so much that she was swallowed up in the sensation. Then he was gone, assuring her that he would pick her up for work in the morning. For the first time in a long time, Kaoru hummed happily to herself as she moved through her tiny apartment. Looking at her coffee table, Kaoru spied a small piece of paper.
'Did Kenshin leave me a note?' Kaoru asked herself as she picked up the piece of paper and read it.
'I'm back; I told you I would never let you go.'
Kaoru's blood stopped in her veins, all noises ceased and Kaoru was enclosed with fear. Shaking Kaoru whirled around; searching for the person she knew was nearby.
Enishi had returned.
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