A/N: I know I know, I suck. Here's your update.
Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi, or the lyrics used in this story. Those are owned by Mr. Marilyn Manson.
"DEFORMOGRAPHY"
\I'M
ON MY WAY DOWN NOW
I'D LIKE TO TAKE YOU WITH ME\
Paige was shaking when she walked into the building. She could feel Alex's eyes on her, and that made her even more nervous. She made her way over to the desk and checked in. They gave her a room key and she quickly found it, glad to get some rest. She was planning on sleeping. She walked into her room and saw she wasn't going to be the only one there. There was a bunk bed and two other beds, one of which was open. She figured that one was hers. She practically jumped into the air when she heard someone speak.
"You're Paige?" A girl stared down up at her from the bunk bed, closing the book she was reading. She had long black hair and very pale skin. Paige nodded, clutching her suitcases in nervousness. Here she was in rehab. It was almost too impossible to believe.
"What's
your story?" She asked, jumping off of the bed. Paige sat her
bags on the open bed, staring at her in disbelief. "I mean, why
are you here? I'm coke. My stupid parents sent me here because they
think I need help. But I don't. Whatever, I actually like it
here."
"How long have you been here?" Paige
questioned, genuinely wanting to know. She needed to see how long she
was going to be here.
"Over a year. But that's because I resist treatment. It just depends." She shrugged, holding out her hand. Paige shook it, noticing that it was a bit sweaty. "I'm Amber. Two other girls stay in this room. Rosie, who bunks with me, and Marcia. She doesn't talk very often. I hope Rosie and I don't disturb you." Amber let out a girlish giggle, stepping out the door.
"Why would you disturb me?" Paige called out, but got no answer. She already left. She collapsed onto the bed and must have fell asleep, because the next thing she knew, she was waking up. There was a girl standing over her. She squealed in surprise and the girl laughed, still watching her.
"I'm Rosie." She said brightly, sitting beside of her on the bed. "You must be Paige. Amber told me you were pretty." Rosie grinned, patting her on the shoulder. "There's a group going on right now, and that's where we're supposed to be. So I'll take you there, okay?" Before Paige knew it, she was dragging her by the arm into a room filled with a bunch of people. Not all of them looked like they belonged in rehab, but a lot of them did. She couldn't help but feel shy. She took a seat next to a small blonde girl and crossed her arms, listening to the others speak. When it was her turn, she shook her head. She didn't want to talk right now. These people were weird.
After
the group session, Rosie came up to her.
"You'll talk next
time, I'm sure. So we're pretty much free until dinner time. Want to
go outside with me?" Paige shrugged. Great, was she taking the
liberty of permanently attaching to her? She wanted some time alone,
but really didn't want to be rude. She was afraid that they would get
upset and start hating her, which she totally didn't need. The girls
went outside, and Paige got increasingly uncomfortable.
"My
drug of choice is ecstasy. Makes me feel wonderful. I hate being here
and not taking it. Seriously, this place is crazy. There are a lot of
girls to choose from, though." She said this quickly, leaning
onto the painted wooden bench.
"What?" Paige hadn't been
listening. She was thinking about Alex, wondering where she was and
what she was doing. Was she thinking about her, too?
"Yeah, I
am gay. Get over it." Rosie stood, apparently annoyed. Paige
looked confused. She hadn't meant to insult her, and didn't think she
had.
"No, I meant I didn't hear what you said. I kind of wasn't listening." Paige explained, blushing. Rosie sat back down, and Paige was glad. She couldn't stand someone she didn't even know being mad at her already. She hated it when people didn't like her.
"I said there are a lot of girls here to choose from. Amber's my woman of choice. Sometimes we stay up all night together, if you know what I mean. It's really nice. I don't know. I guess because at home I've never felt this way, and now here I feel like I have a family. Marcia is like my little sister. She's really sweet, but she doesn't talk all that often. She was the one you sat next to during group. So you don't care if I'm gay? Some of the girls freaked out, one of them had roomed with me until she requested to transfer." Rosie explained.
"I
don't mind. I sort of have a girlfriend back home." Paige
admitted, not making eye contact with Rosie. Alex wasn't her
girlfriend yet, but would be. She missed her like crazy already.
"Oh?
You're gay too?" Rosie sounded excited. She was practically
panting and Paige wanted to slap her. She was disgustingly pathetic.
"Not really. I don't know. Well. I'm going to go back to the room." Paige was already being driven insane. Rosie was whacko, Amber was equally weird, and all of the guys there were freaks. She went back into her room and thankfully no one was there, except Marcia. The girl was so tiny, she looked about eight years old. Paige couldn't help but wonder why she was so small.
"Hey."
Paige had decided she was going to try and talk to her. Marcia looked
at her with her giant baby blues and smiled, leaning against the
wall. Paige touched her shoulder and Marcia flinched a little, biting
her lip. She pulled her knees to her chest and started rocking back
and forth.
"She doesn't like to be touched." Amber told
Paige, entering the room and watching Marcia. She'd seen her act like
this many times, and she knew why she was doing that. She knew
everything about everyone. She was the information whore of the
rehabilitation center.
"Oh.
Right," Paige gazed at Marcia sadly. "I'm sorry. I didn't
know." Amber climbed onto her bunk, grabbing a book and starting
to read it. Paige watched her curiously. "What are you reading?"
Amber frowned. "I like to read romance novels. Now shut up,
I'm trying to read."
Paige went back to her bed and took a piece of paper out of her bag. She began her first letter to Alex.
Alex,
So
my first day here is almost over. I don't really like it here but I
hope it'll help me get better. There's this girl who looks really
young and she doesn't speak or even like to be touched. It's kind of
scary. This other girl that rooms with me was hitting on me, and it
was totally disgusting. I want to see you already. I hope you miss me
as much as I miss you.
xoxo,
Paige
She put it in an envelope and addressed it, stuffing it into her pocket and making her way back into the lobby. She handed the envelope to the receptionist, who took it and told Paige that dinner would be starting soon. Paige didn't feel like eating but reluctantly went into the mess hall. She went through the line and got her dinner, taking a seat at an empty table. A few minutes passed when the guy sat across from her. She looked up at him. He had messy brown hair and a bit of stubble on his face. He must have been in his twenties or so.
"Hi."
He greeted, eating his chicken noodle soup loudly. Paige didn't say
anything back, totally absorbed in eating. She was hungrier than she
thought. "Do you talk?" The guy asked.
"Yes, I
talk. I'm Paige." She introduced, being a bit more
social.
"Brad. Nice to meet you. I saw who you're rooming
with. I feel bad for you. Marcia's a sweet kid but those other two
are total nut jobs." He grinned.
"Yeah.
They are. So, why are you here?" Paige asked him, taking a drink
of the chocolate milk in front of her. Brad ran his fingers through
his hair.
"Alcoholic." He replied quietly.
"What's
wrong?" Paige questioned, noticing his change in mood. Brad
frowned, tapping lightly on the table and not meeting Paige's gaze.
"I drove drunk and my daughter ended up getting killed. I...don't like to talk about it."
Paige was glad she started talking to Brad. He seemed like a really nice guy and she saw herself becoming good friends with him. She couldn't imagine what it was like to lose a child like that. After she finished her dinner she bid Brad goodbye and returned to her room, ready to go to bed. As she closed her eyes, she knew this was the beginning of a very interesting adventure.
\I'D
LOVE TO JUST GIVE IN
I'D LOVE TO LIVE THIS LIE
I'VE BEEN TO
BLACK AND BACK
I'VE WHITED OUT MY NAME
A LACK OF PAIN, A LACK
OF HOPE
A LACK OF ANYTHING TO SAY
THERE IS NO CURE FOR WHAT IS
KILLING ME\
