"With just a look they shook
And heavens bowed before him.
Simply a look can break your heart.
The stars that pierce the sky,
He left them all behind.
We're left to wonder why
He left us all behind,"

afi

Sam Manson

February 20, 2008

I felt guilty through every speech, and when it came to giving my own, my mind when blank, and I dropped the piece of notebook paper. I didn't really need it, all it had was lies, and various scratched words, but behind the strokes of ink, lied the truth.

Flashback

"Sam." I shook at just the look he gave me, but almost cried at my name, and the scene before me.

Danny held a dagger in his hand and was giving me those puppy eyes. Simply that look could break my heart any time it poured over his masculine beauty.

"Sam," he continued, "I didn't want you to have to see this." He laughed a bit, a forced one, one of those 'this is awkward' kind of chuckles. "Sam this is for you. I don't deserve you, all I'm going to do is keep you from the world, keep heaven from your beauty. This place needs you to stay, it needs you to live."

"No, Danny. That's not true." I started to walk towards him, my hand outstretched, I needed to hold him, to tell him the truth, but he stopped me by beginning to speak again.

"No! No, no, no!" He shouted and started to make a gesture with his free hand shooing me away. "See this is exactly why Sam. You always need to help me, to take care of me. That's all your life has been based on, me and my grades, me and my love life, me and my ghost powers, me, me, me, never you. I'm keeping you, putting you in a cage, taming a beautiful creature that shouldn't be domesticated."

"Danny stop talking like that!"

"Why? Because you know it's true? Sam I love you. That's why I'm doing this." He looked at me again; he was serious, dead serious. "The other night I realized that I'm sinning every time I look at you, I'm not worthy."

"Danny please, for me, stop this."

"You have no idea how much I want to do that for you, and only because it's your will. Sammy this is it, I've made up my mind, the world needs you, not me."

"But Danny I need you." I said it as sincerely as I could without releasing the tears that were already blurring my vision.

"You'll find someone else, someone so much better then me you'll forget this, you'll forget me."

"Danny that's not true, it'll never be." He looked at me again, then at the treacherous weapon, then back at me, then the weapon. After a few seconds he held the dagger on an angle, an angle meant to take his life and I think at that exact moment heavens bowed before him, he looked heroic taking his life, and I still cant figure out how that was possible.

End Flashback

"Danny-Danny-Danny was-he was," I stuttered, and hesitated, and played with my old black dress, the one Danny liked the most, the one I was wearing the night we made love. "I-I-I," I began, but never finished, for after looking Danny's family in the eyes, the overwhelming guilt turned into a drug and I fell to the ground.

February 22, 2008

I woke up to a blinding light, and hideous floral wallpaper. After I finally realized I was in a hospital I plopped down onto my bed, turning to the window, looking at the night sky. The stars, they were beautiful, and since I was a little girl I had an obsession with sitting on the balcony outside my room and admiring them. Those natural breath takers were one of the greatest things me and Danny had in common. He wanted to be an astronaut; he told me that the first night I brought my telescope to his house, like me, he was fascinated with the sky. He left that dream behind, he left the stars behind, he left his family and friends behind, all because of me and some crazy idea he had in his head. The people he knew were left to wonder why he left them.

"He left them all behind," I repeated to myself. I hated myself, I hated the idea he had, I hated everything and everyone that ever hurt him. What could have made him think he was doing something wrong by being with me?

That unanswered question would be the death of me…….