Chapter 4: Time Heals, Blood Stains
Toby suddenly felt very cold.
Squinting, he sat up. He'd fallen asleep outside again. He was dripping wet. He looked up. It was raining. Lightning flashed above him and his mum's grave.
More often than not, Toby slept outside beside the rolling pin cross. Some nights were hot, others cold. He got sick, at first, but after a while he adjusted and didn't catch as many colds. His skin got paler and paler with each night.
Toby did not have the luxury of dreams. At night he was haunted by flashes of the past. A meat pie, a razor, a red muffler, a mum, a night, a corpse, an oven, a death…He constantly woke up in cold sweats, shaking uncontrollably. Lack of sleep deepened and darkened his eyes, until they were as sullen and black as Mr. Todd's.
His short stature and light voice were the only things about him that assured that he was a child. He stayed cheery, but withdrew more and more. He didn't try to make conversation with the customers anymore. He isolated himself and lived in solitude.
He liked baking and selling the pies. He still sang for Mrs. Lovett's meat pies in his cheerful, sad way. It reminded him of Mrs. Lovett. She wouldn't have wanted her business to die, she would have wanted Toby to keep it up…wouldn't she?
Was it the pie shop Toby was trying to keep alive? Did he really care/ Perhaps it was Mrs. Lovett he wanted to keep alive.
Toby tried not to think like that. What he i did /i know was that she would have wanted him to try to be happy.
Toby sang to himself as he rolled out dough for the pies.
You always told me just to do
The best I could, you did.
You always told me everything
Would be okay, you did.
Mrs. Lovett…
Well here I am and I just try
To do the best I can.
I'm here and hoping everything
Will be okay, again
Mrs. Lovett…
Goodbye Mrs. Lovett,
You're gone, and yet I'm here.
I'm fine, Mrs. Lovett, I'm fine.
I know I'll never hear your voice,
I'm all alone, I fear.
I still have reason to rejoice,
'Cause in a way, you're here
Mrs. Lovett…
And in that darkness when I'm blind
With what I can't forget.
It's always morning in my mind
I try to smile, not fret.
Mrs. Lovett.
And though I'll think of you I guess,
Until the day I die.
I think I miss you less and less
As every day goes by
Mrs. Lovett…
Wake up, Mrs. Lovett!
Another bright red day.
We learn, Mrs. Lovett,
To say
Goodbye…
In the evenings and late afternoon, Tobias ran the barbershop. He'd done the best he could to stay happy, to move on, to live.
But there were some things he could not forget, and he could not forgive.
Toby's mind ran in circles. He was angry, angry at everyone. They had loving families, they had lives. Live that Tobias wanted, lives that Tobias could take. The more he killed, the more he lived. Seeing blood on his hands and blade was a beautiful thing. Murder was one of the few things that made him happy anymore.
Toby looked down at his bloody palm one afternoon after killing a few people. It dripped slowly down his wrist as he stared at it. He stood and came face to face with a mirror. Blood, pale skin, black eyes gaped out at him.
"No!" He screamed, hitting the mirror off the wall. It fell and shattered, reflective shards bounced and glistened as they created a silver starburst in the ground by the door. Toby fell to his knees, his bloody hand resting limply in the shattered glass.
It was Mr. Todd in the mirror, no Toby. Tobias breathed raggedly and cried, tears rolling down his pale cheeks as his whole body shook.
"You shouldn't, you know…you shouldn't harm nobody…"
"A man…wot was bad…and who was leadin' ya, all unbeknownst into his evil deeds like."
"Nothin's gonna harm you, not while I'm around…."
"Nothin's gonna harm you…"
"Harm you…"