A/N: this time, you may very well ask me "where is the date!" Well, I really didn't feel like writing a mushy scene, seeing as how my boyfriend broke up with me a few weeks ago, plus, it would end up boring. I didn't want to ruin it to make it funny, either, so I just skipped it. We'll just assume that Roy and Riza had a good dinner. Okay? It makes my life easier.
Sorry for the long update time, I've been stuck with this chapter for a while. Due to popular vote, Wrath will be... well, read to find out!
Wrath: "I can't BELIEVE you made me do this!"
Havoc: :pouts:
Jade: "What, you still have a part! Would you rather Wrath's part?"
Havoc: :thinks: "Well... no. Not really, no."
Another A/N: I realize that Military is usually not capitalized, but I think it looks better that way. And I don't really care if Wrath is out of character, because I have seen TWO episodes with him- the finale and the one right before the finale. Also, I don't know if Fuery's first name is spelled with a 'C' or a 'K', but I'm going to go with the 'K' because 'K's are cool. :)
Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist, or Red Bull, or Cookie Crisp. I do own a sugar cookie, though! Wait, where'd it go? WRATH!
Anyway, enjoy! -JR
The next day, Mustang came in late. While this was not surprising in and of itself, the fact that Hawkeye came in late with him, was.
Havoc smirked at the Lieutenant. "So, did you and the Colonel have a nice night?"
Riza gave him a look of innocent confusion. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Lieutenant Havoc."
"Of course not. Damn no-fraternization rule," he added under his breath. "So, did you spend the night alone?"
Now, usually a question like that would result in many bullets being fired around the office. However, Hawkeye was in a good mood. "No," she answered.
Havoc's mouth dropped a little at the blunt statement, and his cigarette fell out.
"Black Hayate was with me." The smirk on Riza's face was so... evil.
"But I saw you two! By the stairs-"
"We went out to eat, Havoc." Riza grabbed the collar of his uniform so he would look straight into her eyes. "Nothing else. Got it?"
Havoc squeaked, and Riza took that as agreement. "Good boy. Let's go; the Colonel wants to interview the kid."
"What kid?" Havoc asked, rubbing his neck and magically producing another cigarette. "Fullmetal?"
Hawkeye sighed. "Wrath, you idiot."
"Oh. I knew that." Havoc grinned sheepishly.
Riza rolled her eyes. "Sure you did."
Roy walked out from his office to see the two bickering. He was having a very good day. Not only had he and Riza had a very nice dinner, he had decided to keep trying to make the Lieutenant open up. Who knows, maybe she'll get a less-evil sense of humor... or a miniskirt.
"Sir, your nose is bleeding again," Hawkeye pointed out tactfully.
Roy tipped his head back. "My nose is doing no such thing," he said as he pinched it.
"Chief, were you thinking about miniskirts again?" Havoc asked.
"No... Ow! Hawkeye!" Roy rubbed the back of his head where she had hit him and glared. "That hurt!"
Havoc laughed at the glaring Colonel. "Just you wait, Havoc," Roy threatened. "You'll get what's coming to you."
The Lieutenant blinked and shut his mouth. He always got kind of scared when Mustang's midnight-black eyes looked like they were going to spit fire faster than a simple snap of his fingers.
-xXx-
Mustang stood in Wrath's cell, while Hawkeye and Havoc stood guard outside- still bickering.
The young Homunculus sat in a corner, hugging his knees to his chest and shivering. His long black hair hung over half his face, and one purple eye stared out at Mustang.
"Wrath, you realize that the Military simply can't trust you yet."
"No shit."
Roy sighed, then smiled. And even Wrath, evil as he was, was slightly frightened by that smile. "But I like you, Wrath, so I have something for you."
"What is it?" The Homunculus asked suspiciously.
Roy pulled something out of his pocket. It was pink, and covered in plastic wrap.
A cookie. Harmless looking, one would suppose. But this was the cookie Mustang had specially made himself, with the sugar the Elrics had provided. It could accurately be described as a Weapon of Mass Destruction.
Wrath looked at the cookie. All better judgement told him not to take it, but it looked so good...
Roy tossed the cookie to the Homunculus, who snatched it out of midair and clutched it possessively. He looked at it, then finally got the courage to unwrap it and smell it. He took a cautious bite. Wrath chewed thoughtfully, swallowed, and ate the rest of the cookie in one gulp.
Mustang saw Wrath's face take on a blissful, serene expression. He beat a hasty retreat knowing what was coming. He burst out the door from the cell. "Take cover!" he yelled to Hawkeye and Havoc.
Riza gave him a startled glance. "Sir-!"
"Kowa-BUNGA!" Wrath shouted, crashing straight through the wall of his cell and spinning around in circles. "Cookie! Cookiecookiecookie COOKIE! COOOOKIE CRISP!" He took off down the hall.
The three officers of the Military stood with their mouths open. Even Roy, who had some idea of what to expect from the sugar cookie, was stunned.
-xXx-
Wrath was on a mission. He didn't exactly know what the mission was, but he made sure he'd be the first to know. He saw another Military officer walking down the same hall. "You there!" he shouted.
Kain Fuery stopped, and his eyes widened. "Uh-oh."
Wrath suddenly had an idea. A wonderful idea. He would create an army with the aid of the wonderful sugar cookies! They would spread the name of the Sugar Cookie throughout Amestris! "Wait here!" he ordered Fuery.
"O-okay." Fuery stood there, confused.
Wrath dashed back the way he had come. "COOKIE!" he yelled at Mustang. "ME WANT COOKIE!"
Roy shrank back from the extremely hyper Wrath. He dug deep into his pocket and pulled out about a dozen more cookies, which he threw to the Homunculus.
Hawkeye glared at her Colonel. "YOU started this!"
Roy hid behind Havoc, who turned around to hide behind Roy, who went to stand behind Havoc, until they hit the wall. Roy pushed Havoc forward like a sacrificial offering. "Him, take him! I'm too young to die! My dreams of being Fuhrer will never be realized if you kill me!"
"STOP COWERING!"
Roy screamed in fear and ran away.
Hawkeye looked at Havoc, who tried to make himself small. "How's he run so fast?"
"Red Bull. It gives you wings," he whispered.
Riza scratched her head. "What's Red Bull?"
Havoc opened his mouth, then stopped. "You know, I really don't know. Let's pretend that moment in time never happened, okay? La-la-la."
They looked up. Over the intercom system it sounded like someone was announcing a horserace. "And now, Wrath is running down the hall, he's running, he has overtaken Master Sergeant Fuery! He is giving Fuery the cookie! Fuery is looking at the cookie, and he is eating the cookie! Oh no! Fuery is now a part of Wrath's evil army of Sugarness!
"Wrath is giving Fuery more cookies, and is telling him something! Oh no! It seems that Wrath wants to take over the world to share the wonderfulness of the sugar cookie! Fuery and Wrath are splitting up, they're running, they're running- Fuery has overtaken Roy Mustang, who is currently screaming like a small child-"
"HEY! WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THEY COULD BE SQUISHED LIKE A BUG!" came a random shout. (As if the rest of this is not random!)
"He wasn't talking about you, Brother!"
"Roy Mustang is up against the wall! He must know what those cookies can do! They take over your mind, until- Oh no! Fuery is forcing the Colonel to eat the cookie! He has eaten the cookie! We're doomed! DOOMED, I SAY! Wait, what's this? A cookie, Wrath? For me? Oh, how nice, thank you!"
And so the random racehorse announcer joined Wrath's Army of the Sugar, leaving Riza and Havoc standing there, mouths open.
A/N: I'm very proud of this chapter. I read it over and burst out laughing, so I hope I've managed to at least put a smile on your face! Once again, I don't own Red Bull or Cookie Crisp. Please don't sue!