Cat: THANKYOU REVIWERS!

Lady-Azure: Thankyou! And I'd like to thank my perverted frined who is also my inspiration!

Princess of Thieves: (T.T) I don' wanna face the shadow realm either. I bet it doesn't even have a face!

Bishounen lover: It was your B-day a while ago wasn't it? My account was locked and also babysitting was removed! (T.T) I'm no gonna put it up! But you'll be in the next chapter of battle of hearts, it's my happy B-DAY gift! And yeah that's the pic! I luv you! Thankyou sooooooo much! (Hugs again, but this time not to tight)

Ryou: (Blushes) Here's my gift to you. (Kisses Bishounen lover)

YGO cast: (Gasps) (O.O)

Cat: Awwwww!

Monkeyluv4646: Yeah you told me! Your fav color is RED! Just like Anzu, I made that up! Anzu liking red I mean.

Ruby eyed girl: Yeah I guess that would be good. But nobody kisses anybody yet.

Cat: There we go! (Looks up to see Ryou and Bishounen lover frenchin') (O.O) Wow, I never knew Ryou had it in him.

Dis: Chained and Torchered does not own Yu-gi-oh. If she did it would be called Lazy-oh.

"Guys!" cried Yugi running into the Kame shop.

Everyone looked at him oddly.

"Yug' what's wrong with you?" asked Tristan looking at him oddly.

"Kaiba! Tea! Mine!" shouted Yugi.

"What he means," said Serenity. "Is that we just saw Kaiba and he was talking about Tea."

"'Course (Hic) he was (hic) talking about (hic) Tea!" said Joey, who was drunk.

"Big brother!" shouted Serenity. "Your drunk! Why?"

Joey hit the bottle of beer on the table and a sad expression came over his face. "Kaiba, not gay."

Everyone (minus Serenity, Yugi and Joey) Gasped.

"Th-that can't be p-poss-possible!" stuttered Mai. "We've been watched him! He never get's dirty! His hairs always in great shape! And, (sob) and he hasn't even looked at me the way straight men do!"

Everyone nodded.

"Yeah, (hic) well I saw it ma'self! It started like dis'...

It was a cold morning on November 19, well (hic) actually it was, (hic) tonight. And I was (hic) sitting in my (hic) room. Anyhoo the (hic) doorbell went and (hic) Kaiba (hic) was standing there.

I zez to 'im (hic). 'Whatcy'a doin' (hic) here?' Or some'din like 'at!-"

"Get to the point!" shouted Yami.

"Geez, (hic) Yami, calm (hic) down!"

Yami snorted. "Fine, just hurry up and get to the point."

"Anyhooo, before I was (hic) so (hic) rudely inter(hic)upted! Kaiba likes (hic) Tea!"

(O.O) before...

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Good one Joey! But Kaiba hates Tea's gutts!" said Tristan patting Joey's back causing him to fall over and hit the ground face first. "Umm Joey?"

"ZZZzzzzzzzz..."

(O.OU)

"Don't laugh!" shouted Yugi. "It's true! He was saying stuff like Gardener is mine, and the suspect! I think he wants to take her by force!"

"Now Yugi," said Ryou. "We all hate Kaiba, but, calling him a rapist?" (Ryou came to the kame shop when he left Tea's)

Yugi crossed his arms and took out a cigeratte and lit it. "Hey babe, you said it not me.

(O.o)

(Cough! cough! cough!) He threw the cigerette out of his mouth. "WATER!" and he ran out of the room.

(-.-u)

"Pharaoh, I think your hikari's broken." said Bakura.

"No, he's been doing this ever since I met him. He get's to caught up in the moment." said Yami ashamed.

"LISTEN! KAIBA-SAN LIKES TEA-CHAN! NOW ARE WE GONNA HELP HER? OR ARE WE GONNA SIT HERE AND EAT PIZZA?" shouted Serenity.

Tristan grinned and raised hid hand. "I vote pepparoni!"

Ryou frowned. "What if Kaiba does like Tea and is trying to take her by force, but then again she will be out tonight. She's picking up Malik from the airport."

"WHAT!" shouted Yami. "That evil menace is back? No fear! (Get's into his pose) I'll beat him and save the world... again!"

"Beat him?" asked Bakura. "Pharaoh he's not an egg."

"That's not what I meant!"

"Yeah? Then why'd ya say it?"

"Tomb robber!"

"Pharaoh!

"Tomb robber!"

"Tomb robber!"

"Pharaoh!

"Ok you win." said Bakura. "I'm the pharaoh."

"Yes!" said Yami.

(-.-u)

Suddenly Yami screamed like a girl.

"What?" asked Mai.

"I completely forgot! Today was a sale at Victoria's secrets!"

Bakura paled. "Why do you even know that?"

"Shutit Bakura! Ok Yami, calm down! The'll be other sale's... OH WHO AM I KIDDING? I COULDV'E GOTTEN THOSE PANTIES HALF PRICE!" and she kneeled down and started crying on the floor and Yami joined her.

(O.OU)

"Little Yugi!" shouted Bakura.

Yugi came in looking better.

"Yes Bakura?"

"I think your Yami's broken." he poited to Yami.

Yugi shrugged and pulled out a cigerette. "Nah! He just get's upset when he misses a victoria secrets sale." (Cough! cough! cough!) Once again Yugi threw the cigerette in the bin and ran to the kitchen screaming. "WATER!"

Tea quickly jumped into her car. She had brought snacks with her and coke. She knew just how bad aeroplane food was.

"Go baby go!" she shouted at the car and then as though by magic the car started moving on it's own. "FASTER!" she screamed and then they were at hyper speed.

"Stop in the name of the law!" came a shout.

"Darn! It's the cops." muttered Tea. Then she turned and stuck her head out of the window. "YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE!" she shouted at them and then muttered. "Oil shoot."

Then from the back of the car a small box opened and oil flew out. Making the police car fall into the wall and explode.

"We sure showed them didn't we." said the car.

"That's right! That'll teach'em to mess with Tea and her car.

Malik:

Malik was sitting in his seat the plane was gonna land in about five minutes.

'Tea, Tea, Tea, Tea, Tea, Tea, Tea, Tea, Tea, Tea, Tea, Tea, Tea-'

His thoughts were cut of by a young girl who looked around five.

"Hi Mister! I'm Alice! Have you seen my mummy?"

Malik blinked. "Noooo."

"Oh, Ok. Have you seen my mummy now?"

"No."

"How 'bout now?"

"No."

"Now?"

"No."

"Now?"

"No."

"Now?"

"No."

"Now?"

His eye twitched and he sighed. "What does this lady look like?"

"Hey take that back!" shouted the girl angrily. "My mummy's not a lady! She's a professional wrestler. Hulk Hogan said that she could've been a high time celebrity if it weren't for her terrible temper."

"Oh really?" Malik smirkes. 'Who does this kid think she is?'

I think she thinks she's Alice.

'YAMI! I STILL CAN'T TALK TO YOU THROUGH THE LINK?'

Well yeah. Anyway I heard your staying with Tea.

'Who told you that?'

A few of your nerve cells.

(-.-U) 'Ummm, yeah I'm staying with Tea.'

Cool.

'Yeah.'

So?

'So?'

Are you gonna sleep with her?

(O.O) Malik's eyes went huge. and he accidently shouted out loud.

"YOU PERVERT BAKA! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU THINK LIKE THAT! I MEAN YOUR ONLY SIX!" (2)

Everyone looked at the little girl with dissaproving looks.

"What's a pervert?" she asked.

They turned around muttering.

"Alice Salad!" came a shout.

Alice and Malik turned around to see a huge woman standing in front of them.

'Queen kong! The legend IS true!' thought Malik.

'Momma!' thought Alice.

"Alice go to your seat! Now!"

Alice hung her head in shame and walked to her seat.

"As for you." she looked at Mlaik, who gulped. "I apoligize for my daughter. She can ba a pervert sometimes." the woman winked and piched Malik's butt before going.

'My Ra!' thought Malik over and over and over.

Ladies, gentlemen and perverted five year olds. Please fasten your seatbelts. We are abut to land.

1- Marik was made when Malik was like ten. And he's only been out a while soo I'm guessing he's like from four to six years old.

Cat: I can't believe it! They've been at it for almost an hour! HOW CAN THEY BREATH?

Bishounen lover and Ryou: (Still frenchin')

Bakura: (Looking at Bishounen lover with interest). Hmmm, I wonder what she's like.

Tea: (Hits Bakura)

Bakura: KIDDING!

Tea: I hope this doesn't go on for long. I want my go with Ryou.

Bakura: You could just joi-(Falls to the ground)

Tea: (Dusts hands) Pervert

Cat: REVIEW!