The hobbits looked at Strider. His eyes were only on Pippin.

"Umm…maybe," Pippin answered guiltily. "Why?"

"Well," Strider said, "those apples aren't ordinary apples…"

"Are they apples from Rohan?" Sam asked.

"No, but I never run out of apples for some odd reason. I can always find an apple in my cloak, or an inside pocket, or in my purse-"

At this, all four hobbits raised their eyebrows at Strider, who did not seem to notice.

"But the strange thing is," he continued, "the fact that I can always find an apple whenever I want one. I've never told anyone this. I don't know why it is, but…well, it is. I don't think they're dangerous, but strange things do seem to happen whenever I eat one, or give somebody else one," he nodded at Pippin. "But I NEVER RUN OUT… You four are the only ones who know, so I would appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone; I don't want people to start thinking weird things about me."

Frodo put his hand on Strider's shoulder and said, "It's too late for that, buddy."

"Well, perhaps you're right, but please keep it a secret for now, okay?"

The hobbits nodded.

"If you don't mind me saying, I think there is more to those apples than the fact that you always have some," Bill said, fluttering off of Strider's nose.

"Such as…?" Strider asked.

"Well, something bad or dangerous always seems to happen whenever someone eats one of your apples. When you took a bite of apple the first time last night, Nazgul suddenly showed up in the street and if they had seen us, they would have killed us all, except for me, because I am a pretty butterfly… Then, you took another bite of apple, and Nazgul tried to get in our room to kill us. And when Pippin took a bite a few minutes ago, a huge flock of Crebain, from Dunland, you know, came after us…"

"So…you're saying that every time someone takes a bite out of one of my apples, a flamingo dies?" Strider asked. Bill sighed.

"No!" he said impatiently. "Every time someone takes a bite out of one of those apples, that person is attacked…"

"Happy New Year! AHAHAHAHAHA!" Merry yelled maniacally. The others stared at him.

"So…what do we do?" Frodo asked after a moment.

"Frodo! Fix your bow tie, dammit!" Strider exclaimed. Frodo hastily straightened his bow tie and Strider spoke again. "I think we should just stick with the plan of going to Rivendell. We can stay here tonight; this was where I planned to stop anyways. Let's climb up higher though."

Strider led the hobbits (Bill went back on his nose) up to a higher area of Weathertop. The hobbits sat down against a wall and Strider pulled out four short swords. He tossed one to each hobbit (all of them caught theirs cleanly except for Frodo; it landed on his head and he got knocked out) then said, 

"I am going to take a look around. Keep those close to you and be on the watch. If you brought any binoculars, you may be able to spot some porno stars that live around here. There're some hot ones."

With that, Strider turned and climbed away.

"Do you think that's true?" Sam asked hungrily.

"Sam!" Pippin scolded warningly.

Frodo still lay unconscious on the rock.

"Hey, I'm hungry," Pippin stated. "Let's have some food while Frodo's blacked out!"

"Okay!" Merry agreed.

About thirty minutes later, Frodo awoke to the smell of cooking. He licked his lips eagerly. So, he thought, Jill had decided to stay through the morning after the fun of last night and make them some breakfast!

Frodo sat up, and his heart sunk as he realized he was not in his hobbit bed, but on a rock and he remembered how he had come here with Strider and his hobbit friends, and Bill the butterfly, of course. He had been dreaming about a sexy hobbit woman named Jill that had stayed at his hobbit hole overnight. He sighed, and, turning around, he saw that Sam, Merry, and Pippin had made a fire and were eating around it. He jumped to his feet.

"What are you doing!" he exclaimed.

"We were hungry so we made some food, silly Frodo!" Sam said.

"Hmm, what food?"

"Tomatoes, sausage, and nice crispy bacon," Merry said through a mouthful of sausage. "We saved some for you, Mr. Frodo."

"Put it out, you fools! Put it out!" Frodo began to stamp on the fire.

"Oh, that's nice!" Pippin said angrily. "Ash on my tomatoes! Well, I've still got another apple."

Pippin pulled out his second apple from earlier and took a bite.

A screech immediately sounded from below.

"Damn you, Pippin!" Merry snarled as all of the hobbits scrambled to their feet in the darkness and hurried to the top of Weathertop. They all stood back-to-back in the middle of the area, small swords out, eyes wary. Then, looming through the darkness, a group of ring wraiths came, walking slowly and eerily up to them, swords up. Sam, Merry, and Pippin immediately blocked Frodo.

The wraith leading the others spoke.

"Stand aside, Halflings, or suffer the consequences," he hissed.

"You'll turn us into muffins?" Sam asked.



The wraith stopped and looked at the others over his shoulder.

"Umm………noooo………………?"

He looked back at the hobbits and continued walking towards them.

"Back, you devils!" Sam yelled and leaped at the Nazgul. The one in front grabbed him by the arm and threw him over to the side. "Wow…I flew!" Sam said dazedly from the ground. The leading wraith stopped right in front of Merry and Pippin. They both looked at each other, then at Frodo.

"Seeya, Frodo," Pippin said and he and Merry dashed over to Sam.

"EEEEEP!" Frodo screamed in a high-pitched voice and fell backwards on the ground. He put the ring on his finger and instantly became invisible. He began to back away until he was pressed against the wall. The wraiths still followed. Frodo noticed through his fear that the Nazgul looked different when he had the ring on. They were continuously changing colors. The leader changed from black, to blue, to purple, to red, to green, to pink, to yellow, to orange, to brown and back to black again.

The leader stopped right in front of Frodo and held out his-um…hand-in an expectant way. Frodo figured that either meant he wanted to hold Frodo's hand, or he wanted the ring. Frodo was not remotely turned on by the wraith nor would he give up the ring, however, so he slapped the wraith's hand and said, "No!" in a snotty tone.

The wraith recoiled, then stabbed Frodo swiftly under the left shoulder.

"Owie! Owie! OWIE!" Frodo yelled and he became visible right away. Just when he thought it was the end, someone leapt in front of him from somewhere behind and drove the leader ring wraith away from Frodo with a torch. Frodo realized it was Strider. Since Strider was handling the Nazgul, Frodo's friends came rushing over to him and began to fuss over his wound. "Ouchie boo-boos!" Frodo whined loudly.

Meanwhile, Strider ducked a blow from the wraith he was currently fighting. Then, he lit its robes on fire and it screeched loudly, yelled, "Jesus Christ!" in a curse, and jumped over the edge of Weathertop. Strider managed to alight and chase away all of the remaining wraiths except for the leader. He looked over his shoulder and saw it standing there, watching him and calculating. Then, Strider hurled the torch at it and it hit it spectacularly. The leader also screeched, then shouted, "Stupid ranger!" and jumped over the edge as well. Once Strider was sure there were no more ring wraiths around, he ran over to Frodo, lying on the ground and whimpering. He picked up the sword that had been dropped and examined it.

"He's been stabbed by a Morgul blade," he muttered as the blade turned to ashes. Bill was still perched miraculously on his nose and flew onto Frodo's chest. He looked at the wound, then back up at Strider.

"He needs elvish medicine," Bill stated, then fluttered back onto Strider's nose.

Strider picked Frodo up and began to dash down Weathertop. "And his bow tie is extremely crooked. Dammit! This is NOT good!"

Sam, Merry, and Pippin hurried after Strider and, once at the bottom of Weathertop, Strider sprinted as fast as he could in the direction of Rivendell, the three running hobbits doing the best they could to keep up with him.