The fellowship sprinted through a door, Boromir in the lead. He was feeling all superior about this until he flung his right foot forward and found that it did not hit solid ground. He was on the edge of a cliff and he swung his arms out madly to keep himself from falling. Then, Legolas came over and pulled Boromir away.

"Fool of a Boromir!" Legolas cursed, slapping Boromir across the face.

"I wish everyone would stop stealing my line," Aragorn sighed wearily.

"Er…aren't you kinda sorta supposed to say that with my last name?" Boromir asked Legolas.

"Yes, but I don't KNOW your last name……fool!"

Boromir sighed.

"Aragorn, we need to talk," Gandalf said, gesturing at Aragorn to walk over to him.

"Look, Gandalf, if it's about the apple-"

"It is not about the apple," Gandalf said urgently. "Listen, I need you to lead them on."

"………Isn't that kinda sorta your job?"

"Yes, but I kinda sorta have to be alive in order to do that, don't I?"

Aragorn scrutinized Gandalf, looking him up and down.

"You look alive to me," Aragorn said slowly. "You just look really…old……"

There was another loud roar.

"Aragorn, you don't get it," Gandalf said impatiently. "Swords are no more use here! Now go!"

Aragorn shrugged, then ran ahead of the others and lead them down a staircase.

What really sucked was that there was a large chunk of it missing, forming a large gap and making two staircases. They all stopped at the edge of the first staircase.

WHOOSH

Something flew past Legolas' ear with a whining sound. They all looked up to see that there were orcs and goblins in other areas of the massive, ruined, and crumbling hall, shooting arrows at them.

Legolas jumped the gap.

"Gandalf, come," he said, beckoning at the wizard. He hesitated for a moment, then jumped the gap too. Boromir grabbed Merry and Pippin in his arms and jumped. The three of them made it, but the weight caused more of the second staircase to crumble away, leaving the gap larger than before. Aragorn, inspired, said, "Sam," grabbed the hobbit, and tossed him across the gap. Sam soared through the air, going, "Wheeee!" Aragorn reached for Gimli. The dwarf held up his hand and said stubbornly, "No one tosses a dwarf!" He made a daring leap, his feet landing on the edge of the second staircase, but his body falling backwards into the empty air. Legolas grabbed him by the beard and pulled him up, as Gimli yelled, "Not the beard!" Once Gimli was safely standing on the second staircase, Legolas slapped him across the face saying, "Damn you, Gimli, son of Groin."

"Don't make fun of my daddy's name!" Gimli snapped.

That left Aragorn and Frodo on the first staircase.

A large part of the ceiling fell on a spot on the first staircase, behind Aragorn and Frodo. It caused a hefty piece of the first staircase to collapse. Now Aragorn and Frodo could not even turn back; they would have to make it across to the others somehow. When Gimli had jumped, another bit of the second staircase had crumbled away too and now, the gap between was larger than ever.

Aragorn did notice, however, that when the rock behind them had collapsed, the "staircase" (it was hardly a staircase anymore) began to move around. Aragorn conjured a stake from, like, nowhere, and grabbed Frodo by the arm. He began to use their weight to shift the wrecked "staircase" forward, towards the one the rest of the fellowship was on. How this actually worked, I cannot tell you, considering that Aragorn weighed about one-hundred fifty pounds, Frodo weighed about seventy pounds, and the things Aragorn carried on his back weighed about twenty-five pounds. I don't know about you, but I don't think it would be that easy to move a piece of stone stairs with about two hundred forty-five pounds. Oh well, because Aragorn and Frodo were able to pull it off.

On Aragorn's command, both he and Frodo leaned forward and as the staircase broke off somewhere below them, it fell forwards and Aragorn and Frodo were propelled towards the others. Sam caught Frodo and Legolas caught Aragorn.

"I am just saving EVERYBODY today, aren't I?" Legolas exclaimed cheerfully. The fellowship immediately continued to sprint, glancing behind them to see the staircase falling into the abyss.

After they were out of that hall and entering a new one, one with an exit from Moria across it, Gandalf slowed down. He stopped, and turned around to see the creature that was chasing them. His fears were confirmed right then. It was a balrog, a massive demon with fire emaciated around it. It opened its mouth wide and roared at Gandalf.

Gandalf turned and continued to sprint after the others.

"I KEEL YOU!" the balrog shouted, giving chase once more.

The fellowship began to run across a long bridge: the famous bridge of Khazad-Dum. Everyone reached the end of it, but Gandalf stopped about halfway across and turned to face the balrog.

"YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" Gandalf yelled.

The others stopped and turned, taking notice of Gandalf standing up to the balrog. Boromir grabbed Frodo, using the excuse of preventing him to rush to Gandalf's aid to cuddle. Aragorn stood there, watching in fearful shock.

The balrog reared up, roaring, "I KEEL YOU DEAD, MEESTER WIZARD WITH THE POINTY HAT!" It pulled up a long, fiery whip. Gandalf held up his staff.

"I am a servant of the secret fire of the flame of Anor. Dark fire will not avail you! Flame of Udun!"

The balrog cracked his whip threateningly.

"YOU-SHALL NOT-PAAASS!" Gandalf boomed, even louder than he was at Caradhras. He swung his staff upward, then slammed it down upon the ground in front of him. The rest of the bridge in front of him collapsed and the balrog fell with it, still yelling persistently, "I KEEL YOU! I KEEL YOU! I KEEEEEL YOOOOUU!"

Gandalf stood at the edge of what remained of the bridge, watching the balrog fall. Then, he turned to walk back across to the others.

"See, guys, I know what I'm doi-" Gandalf began, but was cut off when he felt the fiery whip of the balrog fly upwards and wrap around his ankle. "Oh damn!" he swore. The whip pulled him to the ground and dragged him to the edge of the bridge, but was then forced to let go as the balrog fell out of reach. Gandalf was holding on to the edge of the bridge. He stared at the rest of the fellowship with wide eyes. "Fly, you fools!" he ordered.

"I can fly," Sam stated calmly, right before Gandalf fell, like the staircase, into the abyss.

The fellowship began to run up the stairs and outside as arrows flew at them from more orcs. Boromir was carrying Frodo. He stopped at the doorway, noticing that Aragorn was not following the others, but standing there, watching the spot where Gandalf fell in sad disbelief.

"Aragorn!" Boromir called, then continued out the doorway.

"He's right, Aragorn," Bill said quietly while on his nose. Strange as it was, Bill had fallen asleep, glued to Aragorn's nose, when they had left Balin's tomb, and had just woken up in time to see Gandalf fall. "We need to get out of here."

Aragorn nodded, coming to his senses, then ran up the steps, dodging arrows. He stopped at the doorway to give the spot where Gandalf had fallen one last desperate look. Then, he went outside.

The rest of the fellowship were scattered among a large area of jagged rocks. The hobbits were all sitting down, crying. Boromir was convincing a sputtering Gimli to stay outside. Legolas was standing there, looking rather confused. Aragorn wiped off his sword, then instructed Legolas, Boromir, and Gimli to get the hobbits up. He then realized who was missing.

"Frodo?" Aragorn called, looking around. He spotted Frodo already about thirty feet ahead of them, walking forward. "Frodo!" Aragorn called loudly, his voice echoing around them. Frodo stopped walking and turned around to face Aragorn with watery, swollen eyes. He began to walk back toward the others.

"It's my fault," Frodo whispered.

The rest of the fellowship: …………………

"It's not Aragorn's fault for biting the apple; he is at the point where he cannot resist the power anymore, but I should have noticed his funny behavior before he bit it. I was the nearest, I could have stopped him, and the balrog would not have come. It would not have killed Gandalf, but I was too excited about my bow tie. And that's another thing: if I had not been stupid enough to use up my one good beam, I could have killed the balrog instantly. I'm sorry. I'm stupid! It's my fault Gandalf is dead, not Aragorn's."

"Uh, we already decided that earlier, Frodo, no offense," Boromir said.

Aragorn took a few steps ahead.

"We need to get moving," he said tersely. "By nightfall these hills will be swarming with orcs."

The rest of the fellowship began to follow him quietly.

"Who knows how to write and walk at the same time?" Aragorn asked.

"I do," Legolas answered baldly. "I'm talented that way."

"Then write a letter to the Guinness Book of World Records saying that Gandalf broke his old world record of the loudest shout ever." Aragorn tossed a tape recorder with a tape in it over his shoulder.

The fellowship traveled through the night. In the bright morning, Aragorn jogged ahead of the others to get a first view of an area of woods that they needed to enter. He stopped, and grinned broadly as he looked upon the forest of Lothlorien.