disclaimer: Harry Potter and co. belong to J.K. Rowling. I am not her. The song Brandon Lee belongs to The 69 eyes. I am not anyone of them. The song The misery belongs to Sonata Arctica. I am not anyone of them.
warnings: hints for child abuse, cutting, suicidal thoughts, jealousy. And slash of course.
A/N: Yeah yeah, I know this took me long enough and I apologize. But... Guess who saw The 69 eyes live yesterday!! It was awesome! I wanna do it again. They were sooo good and amazing and... It was just so cool. Whenthey went on the stage they walked like 2 meters from RazorbladeRose and me. Pretty cool, huh? Well, when the show was over, they walked like 2 centimeters from us. Yes, I'm a fan (you figured that out already, didn't you?). That band is the best! Anyway, read the bloody chapter...
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What would there be
Beyond the eyes of Brandon Lee
Could there be
A revenging angel left to bleed
I write the lines you want me to
With words I dare to use of all
The ones that you have taught me
Along the years
Harry sang along the record and played it with his guitar. He loved that song. He loved many songs, but that was one of his very favorites.
He accidentally played a wrong note and pushed the guitar away. He couldn't concentrate, when he knew that Draco was across the street, all alone. He wanted to go to him. He had called Draco earlier, but he had said that he couldn't see Harry today. It had been three days since they kissed. Everyday Harry had called him and everyday the answer had been the same. In school Draco barely said 'hello' and he never smiled. He didn't listen in classes, he just stared in front of him. Not seeing anything.
Harry was of course worried. Did he do something wrong? Maybe he shouldn't have kissed him. But Draco had kissed him right after it. Maybe something had happened at Draco's home, with his parents. Maybe.
You cast a perfect shadow on the paper
Fade away with sunlight
Fear the way you know me
Love can leave a stain
Across the street, in the kitchen of Malfoys, Narcissa Malfoy sat by the table squeezing a cup of tee in her hands. Lucius Malfoy sat in across the table, reading calmly the paper.
"He's your son, Lucius." She finally burst out.
Lucius raised his head from the paper. "I know that."
"He's our son."
"Yes, I know that too. Where is this going, Narcissa?"
Her husband's calmness irritated her greatly. "He hates us."
He put the paper away. "Narcissa, darling, what is going on? You have never acted like this before."
Narcissa sighed. "Draco has friends now. What if he tells someone?"
"He won't. You really think his pride would allow that? Our son is very proud, Narcissa, like we are. He won't tell anyone about anything."
But Narcissa wasn't pleased with this. "He has been like a shadow these passed few days. He has never been like this before. He doesn't even smile anymore."
"How do you know? He has never smiled in front of us. Stop worrying, you've never done that. He's going to be just fine, trust me."
You steal my only hope
And make me stay awake another night
I wish you bare with me, stay near me
When the autumn leaves have fallen
Solitude, my pain, the last thing left of me
Upstairs, Draco sat behind a locked door and watched the blood slowly stream down his arm. Bitter tears rolled down the cheeks. His body ached and it was bruised all over. His body was shaking as he grabbed the knife again and brought it up to his left wrist. He stared at his wrist and the knife for minutes. He wanted to end his life now. He wanted it so much. He wanted to fall asleep and never wake up. He wanted to feel free for the first time ever.
But he was a coward. He just couldn't do it. He put the knife down and cursed under his breath. He wanted it so much and he couldn't do it. Why he had to be such a loser? He couldn't even kill himself. He was broken. And he was cursed to broken forever.
He didn't want Harry near him. Harry would either hurt him, like everyone else in his life, or run away as soon as he discovered what was really going on inside the Malfoy house.
Draco took the knife one more time and cut a one more wound in his flesh. "Please, kill me…"
If you fall, I'll catch
If you love, I'll love
And so it goes, my dear
Don't be scared you'll be safe
This I swear if you only love me
Two blocks away Cat sat in his dark room, playing the melody of Sonata Arctica's The misery. He was so concentrated on the music that he couldn't hear Devian stepping in and closing the door. He sat down on the floor and watched his friend playing. After five minutes he cleared his throat.
"Jimmy?"
The purple haired boy looked boy. He didn't seem surprised when he saw Devian in the room. "Dev."
"Can I ask you something?"
Cat put his guitar away. "Shoot."
"Have you ever been in love?" Devian asked, studying Cat's face.
"No."
"Are you now?"
"No."
"So you're not in love with Susan?"
"No. I'm not even with her anymore."
"Well, I didn't expect it to last very long. No offense." Devian added quickly. "Jimmy, is love for real?"
Cat went to sit next to him. "No. It's something that we think we feel when we really like someone. There's no such thing as love."
"But then that means that I can't love you." Devian said, sounding sad. Cat raised his eyebrows. Devian noticed the surprised expression and blushed. "I mean as a friend. You are my best friend after all."
"Yeah, I guess it means that."
"Wow…" Devian tilted his head on Cat's shoulder. "Life's really depressing."
"Welcome to the real world, mate."
Seven lonely lies written on dead winter's night
Open the only book with the only poem I can read
In blood I sign my name
And seal the midnight with a tear
Burn the paper, every line, for them I cried
Rory stared in front of him and played with his food. He hadn't eaten anything. Kathryn Moore, his mother, gave him a concerned look. "Rory, dear, is everything alright?" She didn't get an answer and she repeated the question. Her son looked up.
"What? Sorry, mom, did you say something?"
"Is everything okay, dear? You haven't eaten your dinner."
"I'm not really hungry. Everything's fine, don't worry, mom." Rory replied and returned to his thoughts. He knew Devian was at Cat's. He knew they were all alone in Cat's dark and sort of romantic room. He cursed under his breath. He wasn't supposed to be so jealous! Cat and Devian were just friends.
Then why did he want to go at Cat's and drag Devian the hell out of there?
Because he was jealous.
No, he was not. Okay, maybe he was. No, not maybe. He definitely was. Sighing, he stood up, thanked his mother for dinner and went up to his room. He took his cell phone and looked at it: 1 message received.
It was from Devian. He asked Rory to meet him in front of Cat's in half an hour.
Rory rolled his eyes. Like hell he was going. He so wasn't going to see Devian holding Cat's hand and telling that it was over between him and Rory. That Cat was his true love.
If you fall I'll catch
If you love I'll love
And so it goes my dear
Don't be scared you'll be safe
This I swear if you only love me back
"He doesn't answer." Devian announced as he tried to call Rory for the third time. "I don't understand."
"Is he mad at you or something?" Cat asked, sucking his cigarette.
"I dunno. I don't think so. I mean, I don't think I've done anything…" The black haired teen started but then remembered something. Rory had been acting jealous because of Cat. And Devian had asked Rory to meet him in front of Cat's. "No fucking way."
"What?"
"The guy's an idiot."
"What?" Cat repeated his question. "Dev, what's going on?"
Shit… Devian turned around to face his friend. "Cat, I… Rory and I… We are… We've been… I… He… We…"
"Yeah?"
"We are… Kind of… Together."
Cat raised his eyebrows, surprised. "You mean 'together' as in… Together?"
Devian took a deep breath. "Yeah."
"Okay." Cat nodded. "Okay."
"Okay?"
"Okay. This wasn't what I expected but it'll do. My best friend's gay and he's dating my other friend. Okay." Cat kept on nodding and sucking his cig.
"So… You're cool with this?" Devian asked carefully.
"Yeah, sure, why wouldn't I be? It's not my business who you date. But…"
"But what?"
"You're like the straightest guy I know."
I am the Playwriter and you are my Crown
Make me cry for your love
Like you've done many times
So I know I can't write these storylines without you
Lady Pain, make me strong
Can't we be together without them forever?
"Harry?"
Harry snapped his eyes open and saw Susan standing in the doorframe. "What?"
"There's some really cute blonde asking you." She told, playing with her blue hair.
"Why didn't you let him upstairs?" The boy asked, standing up.
"Hey, don't blame me. He said he'd rather wait outside."
In a second Harry was already downstairs and by the door. "Draco." He breathed.
Yes, it was Draco. The boy leaned on the wall, looking quite miserable. And was that a bruise on his face? "Hey Harry." He greeted hoarsely.
"You wanna come in?"
Quickly he shook his head. "No. Could we go for a walk or something?"
"Yeah, of course." Harry grabbed his jacket and stepped outside, closing the door. They started walking down the street. "Is everything okay?" The only answer he got was a shake of head. "Did I do something?" Again Draco shook his head. "So… You're not mad that I kissed you?" This time there was not reply of any kind. After a long moment of silence Draco finally spoke.
"I'm sorry. No, I'm not mad. I… I dunno what the hell is wrong with me." His voice fell and he turned his head away. Harry felt terrible to see Draco so sad. Carefully, he took his hand. And for his surprise, Draco didn't pull away. So they walked hand in hand down the streets of Hogsmeade, silent.
The words I write can only hurt me
Sorry for the rain
Thank you my only one
You gave me this pain
I leave you gently on the floor
Take one step towards the door
Where's that letter never written
Good night now
If you fall I'll catch
If you love I'll love
And so it goes my dear
Don't be scared you'll be safe
This I swear if you only love me
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A/N: You guys like it? I wrote it like forever, you better like it. Just kidding... Anyway, review please.
reviews:
Q.T Starrrr: Draco did drink! He went into the bathroom after he puked "and bent down to drink". Anyway, I know that this isn't soon, but... The point is that I updated. ...right...? RazorbladeRose: Oh, you love me, I know you do... "wink" grin: Calm down! I'm not gonna kill him... Maybe. Just kidding, I won't. I want them to have a happy ending. But if I keep writing with this speed, we'll have it in 2007.. I try to write more often, but I've started to write another story again, so... Anyway... I'll just... Go write the next chapter....