Dinner and Disaster

"Can't we not go and tell them we got in the car accident?" asked Jess.

"That is not a suitable alibi for the Gilmore's unless we are hospitalized," replied Rory, not taking her eyes off the road.

"What if I get violently sick?" Jess pondered like he was actually considering it.

Amber snickered from the back seat.

"Do you have something to add?" Jess asked her, raising his eyebrows.

"It's only dinner. It is not that bad."

"Easier for you to say, they like you."

"We're here," called Rory from the driver's seat.

"I'm telling you," begged Jess, "Car accident. It's not too late"

Rory glared at him in the mirror as she pulled through the gate and parked. The three went up to the door and Rory rung the bell.

Emily answered the door. "Rory, darling, it is good to see you," she said, giving her granddaughter a hug. "And Amber too," she said with equal zeal, hugging her great granddaughter also. "Jess," she added with a fading smile and stiff nod. Jess nodded back. "You're late."

"Sorry, Grandma," said Rory, drawling back her attention, "Traffic was heavy."

"Well, dinner is ready now. Do you not mind if we skip drinks."

"Not at all."

As Emily lead them to the dinning room Jess stopped Rory and whispered to her, "Notice how she looked pointedly at me when she said, 'You're late.'"

"Jess, you're being paranoid," said Rory shaking her head before going into the dinning room.

"Ah, my favorite grandchild and great grandchild," said Richard, who was already their waiting, warmly.

"Grandpa, we're your only grandchild and great grandchild," smiled Rory.

"More reason for you to be my favorites," Richard grinned, sitting back down after his greeting. "Oh, hello Jess," he added as an afterthought after spotting him.

Jess caught eye contact with Rory. She just shrugged and sat down. Jess followed her suit.

"So what is new with you?" asked Emily enthusiastically toward Rory as the maid set salads before them.

"Not much actually, but Jess just finished his final draft for his new book and it will be out in a few months."

"Oh, how nice," said Emily with a fake smile. She did not really approve of Jess trying to support a family with a job that did not have a guaranteed pay check every week, a retirement plan, pension, or insurance attached.

"You'll have to send me one," added Richard, who neither liked Jess's choice of profession, but still found his books worthwhile to read.

"I will," said Jess genuinely, thankful for the break of subtle Jess- bashing and ignoring.

"So Amber, how is school?" asked Emily politely, changing the subject.

"Very good, I just turned in a big project last week."

"It's a shame you don't live closer, because I know you could get into Chilton, with your grades and connections," said Emily in almost a bragging way.

"Were actually looking into a private school up n New York, Grandma," added Rory.

"That's good. And speaking of school, how is you're night school going Jess."

"Fine," replied Jess with a monosyllable.

"What are you working towards now? High school diploma is it?" asked Emily.

Jess didn't answer, but stabbed a piece of lettuce in his salad just a little too hard with his fork.

"Grandma," said Rory, answering for her husband, "We've been through this before. Jess is working on his Bachelor's now. He got his high school diploma years ago."

"Well, I do admire the pursuit of higher education," said Emily, "Especially trying after not succeeding the first time around."

Jess suddenly stood up and all eyes shot to him.

"Excuse me," he muttered before exciting the room.

About ten minutes later after the salads had been exchanged for the main course Jess still had not returned.

"He sure has been gone for a long time, his food is getting cold," commented Emily on Jess' absence.

"I'll find him, Grandma," said Rory, dismissing herself from the table.

Rory wandered slowly through the halls, peeking into each room as she passed. She finally found him outside, on the back patio.

"Hey," she said walking up to him. He grunted in response.

"Whatcha doing?" she asked, standing next to him.

"Trying to come up with the best way to kill myself to get out of the rest of dinner."

Rory was silent for a moment, "Come up with anything good."

"Stabbing myself with the salad fork, but that wouldn't be a proper thing to do at the dinner table."

"Emily Post says."

"Then I thought of throwing myself off the roof, but Emily just had the patio redone and I wouldn't want to stain it with my blood."

"How thoughtful of you."

"And now I'm, just standing here hoping that some wild animal will come along that I could provoke to attack me."

"The Gilmore Mansion has a wall around it, so any chance of a crazed lion escaping the zoo and coming here, to you, is pretty slime."

"I figured so much when the lion didn't show five minutes ago."

"Come back inside. You're being missed."

Jess scoffed, "Yeah right."

"Come on," jested Rory, "My grandmother has to practice directing subtle, yet insulting comments towards somebody."

"Huh," Jess said, but didn't budge."

"Seriously," said Rory, "Come back in, eat dinner, be on your best behavior, actually talk and not let Emily dominate the conversation."

Jess raised an eyebrow, "She'll criticize whatever I talk about."

"Talk about me. There is no way she can criticize that," commented Rory with a smirk.

"So I should go in and make nice with them."

"Yes."

"Why?"

"If this is some sort of delaying tactic, it won't work."

"No really, why?"

"Because they are your grandparents-in-law." Jess looked at her, but did not say anything, "Because you will have many occurrences like this in the future and you should learn to get along with them…Because you love me."

"You two," interrupted Emily from the house door, having decided to look for the absent dinners herself, "The food so not eating itself."

Jess grimaced and whispered to Rory, "You owe me."

"Dually noted," she said leading him back to the house.

Next chapter- Welcome to Stars Hollow