This is actually a pretty dark fic for me. I don't know if I wrote it well. I don't have that much written yet, but I have nearly all of it planned out, so...yeah, just gotta get the fingers typin'! This story is one of my best, to me anyways, but I need your opinion, so read it and review! Just gotta do one thing now...

Disclaimer: I, Sutoomu(Storm), do NOT own Gundam Wing in any way. None at all. This fanfiction was made purely for fun and does not get me money in any way. Besides, it's not as though I have any money to be sued for...

Continue on, now...

Blinding Darkness

Storm

"Mission complete," Heero said with a smirk.

Duo looked over at him. Duo seriously didn't know how Heero did it. How could Heero kill over and over, destroy again and again, and just smirk? It was irritatingly annoying, the way he was never affected. It was as if Heero didn't comprehend that they were ending lives. That they were taking breath, killing life, crushing souls. Duo hated it, because it only proved again how much stronger Heero was than he. Duo could never get over it. All he saw was the blood from their wounds, the life dying in their eyes, the pained screams they cried before they died...

"Duo."

Duo blinked and saw Heero looking at him with...was that concern? Duo immediately put on his wacky grin, setting his jester's mask in place, and changed his clenched fist into a V-for-victory sign.

"Once again, Shinigami triumphs!" He crowed, though inside he was dying as he said it. "Let's go home now, Heero. I'm hungry!"

Heero 'hn-ed' his agreement and turned to head back to the hidden jeep, leaving the still burning base at his back. Duo took one last vulrenable look at the flames. He followed after Heero to the jeep and hopped in, putting his jester's enthusiasm into it. Everything in his life that others saw was fake, a facade. He wasn't happy. There were, of course, the rare times something made him smile for real, but they always ended and barely ever came. Duo Maxwell, part Shinigami, part jester, both masks created to hide and protect the real thing.

Duo winced as the faint sound of ambulances and fire engines sounded, obviously heading to the base. He closed his eyes to block out the still remaining eerie glow from the flames and set his head against the window, enjoying the small, sharp pain that resounded through his skull every time the jeep hit rough ground. He needed the small pain, and he welcomed it while a normal person would find it rather annoying and head wracking. Pain scared the memories away, but the memories induced pain. Nothing would get those images out of his mind. They would just play over and over and over until he did something to distract himself, until he bled them out. But then the nightmares would come. God, how he hated the nightmares, and he could do absolutely nothing about them.

"Why aren't you hyper as usual?" Heero's voice blasted a path through his thoughts.

Duo bit back a sharp retort of 'Why do you care?' "Dude, I am tired!"

"Since when do you become tired after an easy mission?" Heero continued his questioning.

'Since keeping the happy mask up is hard when all you see is pain and death and blood...,' Duo thought. Aloud he said sharply. "Since you woke me up at two in the damn morning! God, Heero, you're the worst alarm clock ever."

Duo remembered the morning. Heero had almost discovered the real him. He had come in after Duo had a nightmare and was crying. Luckily for Duo, he heard Heero in time and checked his tears, wanting not to worry his best friend. Duo had pretended to be asleep, being the great actor he was, and had then turned his sorrow and pain into annoyance and anger at Heero waking him up too early for another damn mission. He was also glad he had been able to hide his deep dread at the thought of a mission.

Duo studied Heero as he drove. He wondered if Heero had any idea how much he relied on him? Duo suspected not, since he had never told Heero or given any hints. But, to Duo, Heero was his best friend, and he loved him like a brother. He was like a surrogate Solo, only more...stoic soldier type. If Heero ever died, Duo would have no force to help him stay alive. Not that Heero listened to him ramble out his problems or anything. No, but Heero did listen and put up with him ranting and raving and chattering on about things non stop, and he had this powerful aura, this sense of safety. An aura Duo had only felt twice before. Once, with Solo, and once with Sister Helen and Father Maxwell. Of course, Heero's aura of safety was more dangerous. Duo never told Heero how much he relied upon him, or how much he was his best friend, since he knew to verbally acknowledge the love would condemn Heero to death. Everyone he loved died. Being loved by Duo was a curse, in Duo's opinion. Everyone he loved died. His friends were all at constant risk of death, since he loved them all. Their positions and Shinigami had death plans for all of them, and it was all Duo could do to protect them without their knowing. That was why he was in the Preventors. To protect Heero and Wufei. And he trusted Trowa to protect Quatre as his bodygaurd.

Duo loved Heero as a best friend. He loved Trowa as Heero's lover and someone who always understood, someone trustworthy. And he loved Quatre and Wufei...well, that was pure love, and that was a fantasy. Quatre and Duo were already a couple, and Duo had no plans of joining them. At least this way, they had their loves and were safe by him being out of the picture. All was fine as long as he didn't get involved.

Duo was jolted out of his thoughts once again as Heero slid the jeep to a half circle stop. Believe it or not, Heero was a sometimes show off concerning his driving skills. Duo bounced out of the car-he was sure to make a happy impression, and he didn't want to disturb Quatre's peaceful heart-and ran up to the door, flinging it open. He met Quatre in the hall.

Duo stood in the doorway, stunned stupid. Quatre was wearing pure white-and somewhat see through-pajamas. His one shoulder was bared to the air, the pale skin shining under the lights of the hallway. His blue eyes were half closed and hazed, and he scratched his beautiful golden white hair as he tried to stifle a yawn. Damn he was exotic. And, obviously, he had just woken up.

"Yeah, I was," Quatre said, and Duo blinked, realizing he had spoken aloud the last bit. "How'd the mission go?"

"As Heero says, 'Mission complete!'" Duo chirped. "You an' 'Fei heading in for the night now?"

"I was already in for the night," Quatre whined loudly. "But the bed is too cold! Wufei and Trowa are playing cards, and Trowa's winning."

"Cool," Duo replied, feeling dejected at Quatre sharing the bed with Wufei, while he had to sleep all alone in his dark room. They didn't know how damn lucky they were. "I'm goin' to bed now. Damn, Heero woke me up too early," he grumbled to add more persuasion to the fact he was just tired. He bounded past Quatre, his mind crying out for another look as he walked up the stairs.

That is the first chapter. Hope you enjoyed. Review and go to the next now. Yes, that's it. Push the mouse, click the button. That's a good reader.