ANOTHER ALTERNATE ENDING.

Continue from chapter 3…

Draco and Hermione are still staring at each other / 'snogging' each other senseless / gazing at the stars while holding hands…but odds are they are snogging each other senseless. Ron conveniently comes out into the garden and a vein in his forehead starts throbbing (for all the clueless people out there, Ron has a crush on Hermione even though no-one knew about it till now).

Ron then decides to go on a homicidal rampage…forget the Dark Lord and Lucius, Ron with a fork is more deadly than Val-u-mart with a bazooka. Ron stabs Draco in the leg with a fork and then runs to Harry because everyone seems to want to run to Harry. Meanwhile, Draco is bleeding to death with the fork still protruding from his leg. Hermione starts crying profusely and confesses her undying love for Draco.

Suddenly, Harry and Ron return with a whole swarm of Hogwarts students that we never heard anything about until now. They engage with a fierce battle amongst each other:

a) Slytherin against Gryffindor

b) Slytherin against Ravenclaw

c) Slytherin against Hufflepuff

d) Everyone against Slytherin (we all know who will win this battle, don't we?)

After 15 to 20 minutes of bloody battling, Slytherin lose (didn't see that one coming) and Draco is still bleeding to death.

Hermione surveys her surroundings and notices that Dumbledore is dead (although we have no idea when he came outside in the first place), half the students are dead and Val-u-mart is dead (Harry, once again, has saved the day).

Another 15 to 20 minutes later and Draco is still dying. It isn't till Ron suddenly reappears with a spoon and stabs Draco in the arm that Draco FINALLY dies.

Hermione has this whole emotional break down about how she can't live without her treasured one / beloved / soul mate / cuddle cakes (take your pick, they're all equally disgusting).

Dumbledore (who is suddenly back from the dead – AGAIN) places a wrinkled hand on Hermione's shoulder, and tells her to get over it. Strong words from an eccentric man who technically should be dead (twice).

Hermione takes Dumbledore's advice and elopes with Ron. Next thing you know and she has 12 children and is living in the middle of the Arabian Desert / Antarctica / Botswana / Uruguay.