disclaimer: Harry Potter and co. belong to J.K. Rowling. I am not her. Rory, Cat and Devian do belong to me so keep your dirty hands off of them. Thank you.
warnings: well, the whole story is slash and at this point I shouldn't have to warn about it anymore. But this chapter contains angst, hints of self-harm and violence.
A/N: Long time no see. Oh dear... But I'm here now with a brand new chapter. I'm so sorry it took so long but I was really busy with school and all. Now, I'm on my summer break so I should and I will update more often. Now, if you're still with me, go on and read. And then review. I love reviews.
"Well?"
Harry looked up and raised an eyebrow. "Well what?"
Rory sat down across him and took a sip from his coffee. "Did you tell him?" Harry gazed down, not answering. "Harry!"
"I tried! I really did, but I just couldn't do it. He seemed so happy to see me again and… He kissed me!"
"Yes, boyfriends do that. Harry, you have to tell him before he hears it from someone else. Before he hears it from Tom."
The desperate look on Harry's face changed into panic. "He wouldn't do that."
"How do you know? He slept with a guy who has a boyfriend, can you really expect moral from him?"
"Shut up, Rory. This is all my fault, don't make it his."
"I'm just saying that you should open that pretty mouth of yours and tell Draco before it's too late."
Harry sighed. "I know. I just… He will hate me!"
"Who will hate you?" The boy in question asked as he sat down next to his boyfriend. Harry blushed furiously as Rory stood up and excused himself, giving Harry a very meaningful look. Draco raised an eyebrow. "Who will hate you?"
"Um… Remember the other day when I said that we need to talk and all I said that I love you?"
"Yes…" Draco nodded, starting to feel insecure. "What about it?"
Harry looked around in the rather crowded coffee house. "We can't talk in here. C'mon, let's go to my place." He stood up, took Draco's hand and led him out of the coffee house. He had too moved into his own apartment as soon as possible. After his parents had found out he was gay, home had become a very uncomfortable place to live.
Fifteen minutes later Harry was sitting by his kitchen table, opposite to a very confused looking Draco.
"Well?" The blonde questioned. "I already figured that I'm the one who will hate you, but could you tell me why I will hate you?"
Harry swallowed. This was it, there was no going back anymore. "Draco, I… When… The last day… When we were recording the album in San Francisco… I… I slept with Tom, but I swear it meant nothing, it wasn't even supposed to happen, it just did and I couldn't stop it, I'm so sorry!" He looked up, cautiously.
Draco just stared at him, shocked. He couldn't get a word out of his mouth, he couldn't even think properly. But when Harry warily touched his hand, he exploded. "What the fuck is wrong with you? How could you?" He shrieked and jumped up. "What the hell were you thinking? I can't believe you did that to me!"
"Draco-"
"Fuck you, Harry! Why? Why did you- Don't I mean anything to you?"
"Of course you do! You mean the world to me-"
Draco let out a bitter, teary laugh. "Then obviously the world means nothing to you!" He leaned against the kitchen counter. "Why?" He whispered then. "Why did you do it?"
"I…" Harry wiped the single tear from his cheek. "I missed you so much and then you acted all weird in the phone and… I just wanted someone to… Want me."
"Just because I'm a little cranky-" Draco started to yell but then took a deep breath. "I want you. And I wanted you then. I was just tired and- Fuck, why am I explaining? I want you, Harry, but obviously I'm not enough for you." His voice was full of loathing that made Harry shiver.
"Of course you are!"
"I am not! If I was, you wouldn't have gone to someone- You wouldn't have gone to Tom!" It was his time to wipe the tears away from his face. "I suppose you didn't wear the polo shirt because you wanted to try something new."
"Draco…" Harry started, but didn't know what to say. "I'm so sorry. It meant nothing, I swear." He finally whispered and flinched when Draco opened his mouth again.
"I don't care! You did it all the same!" He took a step to the door. "I have to go."
Draco was already at the front door when Harry ran after him. "What happens now?" He asked, scared of the answer.
"I don't know. I have to think this over and… I don't know."
-
"Rory?" The red-head flinched as he felt the hot breath against his skin.
"What?"
"What's up with Harry?" Devian murmured, practically pressing his lips against Rory's ear.
"What'd you mean?" Rory asked with a normal voice and stepped away from his boyfriend's mouth.
"What'd you mean 'what'd you mean'? Can't you see that he's completely depressed?" He pointed his finger towards the young man sitting on a leather couch, trying to look interested, happy and excited while drinking his head off.
Rory cracked a small smile, a fake one. "He's probably just tired. C'mon, just have fun tonight, ok? It's not like you to worry." He took Devian's hand and squeezed it. "Relax. You love parties, especially album releasing parties, so enjoy while you still can."
Devian gave Harry one last worried look but soon an enthusiastic smile spread on his face. "Okay, if you're sure."
"I am. Now go get wasted so I can take advantage of you when we get home."
"Honey, you know you don't have to get me drunk for that." Devian winked and disappeared into the crowd. Rory planned to go see if Harry was ok, but;
"Rory m'boy! How are you?" Cornelius Fudge exclaimed with a wide smile, grabbing Rory's hand very roughly.
"I- I'm great, thank you." Rory managed to stutter out in his surprise.
"Yes, of course you are, this is a big day for all of you."
"Yes, very… Big." Rory tried to smile. Fudge still hadn't let his hand go.
"Yes, indeed. Well, you go and have fun. Soon you'll be too busy for that." The short man laughed and practically pushed Rory away. He gave a quick look to his hand, which was completely red, and then went down to sit next to Harry.
Harry himself was trying to pay attention to the discussion of the moment, which was about all new bands sounding the same. He was failing badly and when Rory sat down, he gave up and dropped his head on the red-head's shoulder.
"You okay?"
"Hardly. I suppose you haven't seen Draco, have you?"
"No, I'm afraid not. So I assume he didn't take it too good?"
Harry let out a short, humorless laugh. "Actually he took it better than I thought. I expected him to slap me or something. I wish he'd done that. But no, he just cried and yelled and looked so fucking disappointed and betrayed." He rubbed his face. "Oh, fuck it. I'm gonna go get a drink." He stood up and walked up to the bar.
"Hey."
"Shit."
Tom laughed. "Nice to see you too." He snickered, but the smile faded as he realized that Harry wasn't looking too cheery. "What's wrong? This should be the greatest day of your life as a musician and you sulk?"
"Well," Harry started, took his drink and turned to look around in the club the party took place. "Look around, Tom. You see something missing?"
He looked around. People dancing, laughing, drinking, having fun. What could be missing? …Oh yeah. "So you told him, huh?"
"Yep."
"And he… Dumped you?"
"No, not yet. But he will after he has recovered from the shock."
Tom smirked and placed his hand on Harry's hip. "I'm sorry."
"No, you're not."
"Well… True, I'm not. But tonight is not the night to be sorry. I can be sorry for you in the morning, but now… I'd rather just go dance."
"Go ahead."
"With you."
-
Draco took a deep breath. He might or might not want to go in. And he might or might not be on the list. But this was Harry's big night and no matter how Harry had hurt him, he still loved him and wanted to be there. He would just say congratulations, have a drink with Cat or Devian or someone else and then go home. Yes, that was the plan. He stepped forward and the scary looking man at the door gave him a questioning look. "Name?"
"Malfoy, Draco."
He checked the list. "Have a nice evening, sir." The man told and let Draco go pass him.
Okay, he was in now. The plan didn't seem so good anymore. He was just about to turn back and leave when,
"Draco!" Devian exclaimed and before the blonde even realized it, he was sitting on a leather couch and he had a drink in his hand. "Where in the hell have you been? No wonder Harry's been sulking all night! Oh who cares, you're here now! Cheers!"
A drink was carried in front of him after another and another and Draco couldn't recall anymore why he had come there in the first place. His 'one drink, say congratulations and go home'-plan was completely forgotten after the fourth drink and soon he found himself from the dance floor with Devian.
He grabbed Draco's waist and pulled him closer. "I'm sorry, I completely forgot." He whispered in his ear. "You want to see Harry, don't you? C'mon, let's go find him." Before Draco could protest, Devian had already dragged him to the table where Rory and Severus Snape were deep in conversation, about bass guitars of course.
"Hey, you guys seen Harry?"
Rory's head shot up. "Um… He was at the bar five minutes ago, but-"
"I saw him go to the men's room maybe a minute ago." Severus told, sipping his pink drink with an umbrella.
"So he should be back shortly." Devian told, to no one in particular. Then he grabbed Draco's shoulders and made them both sit down. "Look what I found!"
Rory, who hadn't noticed Draco until now, almost choked on his beer. "D-Draco! What brings you here?"
Devian cocked an eyebrow. "He came to celebrate his boyfriend's big day, of course." He said, like it was the simplest thing in the entire world.
"Y-yes, of course." Rory muttered rather uncomfortably.
Draco himself looked around in the case he would see Harry anywhere. And then so happened that he saw him. With Tom Riddle. Draco's slightly drunken eyes narrowed. Tom had his hand on Harry's waist. The now green haired man whispered something into Harry's ear, making him giggle. Yes, giggle. Then, Harry finally saw Draco staring at him and his smile faded and his expression switched into slight panic.
"Excuse me, I have to go." Draco told Devian and the rest and stood up to leave. He was half way to the exit when he felt someone grab his arm.
"Draco-" Harry looked extremely anxious. "Draco, I can explain-"
"Don't bother." The blonde spat. "I see you're already completely over me."
"But I'm not! Draco, he was just trying to-"
"Trying to do what? Get you in bed again? That shouldn't be too hard, as you've already done it once."
"No!" Harry cried. "He was just trying to cheer me up! It's not like that, I don't want him!" And as to assure Draco, or himself, he pressed his lips against the blonde's. But soon he felt something hard hit his face. He trembled backwards and covered his nose with his hands. He gazed up at Draco, who held his fist with his other hand.
"Don't fucking touch me ever again." And he was gone.
Harry stared at the spot Draco had stood just a few seconds ago when people started to run towards him.
"Harry!" Devian exclaimed, confused. "Did he just punch you? Why did he punch you?"
Harry straightened and looked at his hands. They were covered in blood. So he was bleeding. Perfect.
-
Draco walked home, tasting the salty tears streaming down his cheeks to his lips. He unlocked the door, stepped in and locked the door again. He didn't bother to undress himself before collapsing on the bed. He tried his tears on his pillow and then he stood up again. Walking in the kitchen he took a bottle of red wine from the fridge. He drank straight from the bottle and started to look for his pocket knife. He had never been good at dealing with emotional pain. He preferred turning it into physical one.
Finally, he found it in the small freezer, where Harry had hid it the first day he had returned from San Francisco. He wasn't a fan of Draco's hobby, if you could call cutting yourself a hobby.
Draco sat down on the floor, leaning against the fridge. He rolled up his sleeve and took a one last sip of the wine. Before, he had cut himself above the elbow. Now, he pressed the blade much lower.
A/N: The smack, or the punch, whatever, is dedicated to Vampire Angel of Death. The person in question knows why.
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