Temari, Sakura, Naruto, and Shikamaru met at the Korean Barbeque for lunch. As they ordered their foods, Temari spoke up, more to Sakura than to anyone else.
"I think someone was stalking me last night."
"WHAT?" Three different voices yelled in unison.
Now that she had everyone's attention, she continued, "Yeah. Someone rang the doorbell, but when I answered no one was there." She paused dramatically, then continued, "There was only a threat note, a dead rose, and…blood."
Shikamaru's jaw dropped, but luckily for him, everyone else were having similar reactions, and did not notice the look of horror on his face.
"It was not a threat note!" he started to protest, but then shut his mouth as he realized what he had said. But at that moment, Sakura gave a little shriek, so no one seemed to hear.
"Oh my god Temari!" she yelped. "That's so scary! Do you know who did it?"
"No," she replied, dipping a finger into her tea. "But I'll find them, and when I do, I'll tear open their throats."
Shikamaru gulped, and ran a finger over his throat a bit nervously.
"Hey! Can I see the threat note?" Naruto asked. "Maybe it's someone we know."
Damn! I bet Naruto'll recognize my handwriting!
He thought of grabbing the note and running for it as Temari took the folded paper out of her pocket, but then that would make it clear he did it. So he stayed put and watched Naruto anxiously.
"My dearest love, your eyes twinkle like the morning sun. Thank goodness you are not a nun. Someday let's go get some buns," Naruto read.
Shikamaru cringed. Did I write that? It's horrible.
"It's horrible!" Sakura said in disgust, as if she was agreeing with him. "But it didn't sound too much like a threat note to me."
"Well, 'someday let's go get some buns' sounds pretty much like, go on a date with me or else," Naruto spoke up. "But I don't recognize the handwriting, so it's not someone we know."
Whew, I knew he was too stupid.
They spent the whole afternoon arguing about whether it was a threat not or not, while Shikamaru just picked at his food.
"Hey Shikamaru, what happened to your lip?" asked Temari in concern while they waited for the bill.
They had been arguing again, this time about who would pay for lunch, when Shikamaru brought attention to his lip by touching it lightly.
"I...fell," he explained somewhat lamely. But they all seemed to buy it.
"Oh, no wonder you weren't eating a lot. It must hurt," remarked Sakura.
"Yeah, it hurts a lot."
He looked at his watch which read 3:49, and since the magazine stands closed at four, he should probably get going.
"I really have to go now," Shikamaru said, standing up.
"Oh, but aren't you going to stay for dessert? I'll buy."
"No, my lip hurts too much," Shikamaru simpered, trying to put on a pitiful expression. He said goodbye to them, and went to the nearest magazine stand, where he bought a new magazine called, 'What girls like 2'. But first, he crumpled up his old magazine, and threw it away.
"Girls like perfume," he read. "What's perfume?"
There was a picture of a small fancy bottle with amber liquid on the page, but how was he supposed to find that?
"What's perfume?" he asked the old man running the stand.
"It's something that smells nice and sprays."
"Oh." He immediantly thought of the cans he had at home that his mom sprayed in rooms. "I think I know what it is."
Shikamaru knew that they sold it in stores, but he was broke. He had spent the last of his money on the rose and magazines.
Great, what now? This is so troublesome...
Well, he did have plenty at home. And his mom barely used them anymore. So what if he just got one from home? It wouldn't cost anything, and his parents probably wouldn't miss it.
As he walked towards his house, he tried to remember where his mom put them. He distantly remembered her attacking his room with one that smelled like apples a few months ago, and then storing it in the closet where she kept her cleaning supplies.
Shikamaru, I've gone shopping. Will try to be back by dinner.
-Mom
Shikamaru read the note and celebrated. His dad was away on a mission, and his mother wasn't home. This would be easy.
Jerking open the closet he found the row of the different colored cans on a shelf. He got them all down and then sat cross-legged on the floor smelling each of them.
One smelled like apples, one smelled like melons, one smelled like cinnamon, another smelled like his dad's colone, and the last one smelled like roses.
He liked the one that smelled like apples, but it was nearly all used up, so he put it back in the closet. He disliked the one that smelled like his dad's colone and put that back too. The cinnamon one caused a burning sensation in his lungs and caused him to violently cough a few times, so he put that back as well.
Now it was between melon and roses, he liked both, but the one that smelled like roses was full all the way, so he put the melon back and took the rose.
"Tie a thin ribbon around the perfume, that will give it an elegant touch," the magazine read.
But they didn't have a ribbon anywhere in the house. So in the end, Shikamaru cut a long strip from his mother's white scarf and tied it somewhat clumsily around the can.
Now to find Temari. Shikamaru was pretty sure she was probably back at her house. He put the perfume under his shirt so no one would see, and went over to Temari's place.
The doorbell, he noticed, wasn't working so he knocked hard on the wooden door.
The door flew open with an angry-looking Temari holding her fan menecingly. When she caught sight of Shikamaru, she smiled, and threw her fan behind her.
"Sorry," she said, grinning at Shikamaru's alarmed expression. "I thought you might be the stalker."
She pointed to the ground where Shikamaru saw what remained of his blood the night before. The white porch had beem scrubbed clean, but the droplets of blood left circles of pink stains.
"Oh." He was beginning to lose his confidence.
Okay, breathe. Breathe Shikamaru. She doesn't know you were the "stalker" and she'll never find out.
"I-here," he took the perfume from under his shirt and handed it to her.
Temari looked at it for a moment, then said, "Um...Shikamaru? Why'd you get me air spray?"
Is there a difference between perfume and air spray? Oh damn! You are so stupid! And you call yourself a genius? Quick! Make something up!
"Yeah, my mom thought you might need it," he said, thinking fast. "For your house. It smells nice."
"Ok, I thought it might be something like that," she smiled at him again, though this time, a little wearily. "Bye. See you tomorrow."
She closed the door, and Shikamaru tore the magazine in half.
Hell! I have got to get a new brand of magazine.