Chapter 5

"Well Lois, I thought that maybe if you and I talked about dad's passing…it would help." Clark said once again seeing a crying Lois in his mind's eye.

"Clark, are you alright? Can I help?" Lois quickly interjected seeing the crushing weight damping the once light atmosphere. "Mr. Kent would want you to be happy, not moping around."

"Lois, please call him 'dad'. He loved you, didn't you know that?" Clark pleaded.

"Smallville, I loved him too. But he was not my father." Lois said holding back tears.

"You are wrong Lois. You were the daughter of his heart, like I am the son of his heart. I am not truly his son by blood, but that didn't stop him from loving me like I was. He felt the same for you. And if you would look in your heart, you know I'm telling you the truth. He is your father and mom is your mom too. Sometimes Lois you do get to choose your family. And this family chose you." Clark stated emphatically.

'Lane, no tears, not now.' Lois thought trying to overcome the sudden urge to breakdown and cry. "Clark…" she started.

Lois looked like she was going to cry any second. Clark gently pulled her head to his chest. "It's alright Lois. We are family. You can cry, I won't say a word. Lois I am here for you, you aren't alone. We are family, we are one." Clark whispered in her ear.

Usually Lois would be ashamed, but it felt right. It felt so right, Clark…no Smallville's arms around her; one of his hands stroking her head, while he whispered in her ear. He was right, the Kents were the family she would chose if given a choice. They loved her without reservation. She had never felt like this since her mother had died. To be loved so completely, just for being herself, only her mother had ever done that. She knew the General loved her, he just didn't know how to show it. But, this was different, no boundaries, no rules, only warmth and compassion. This is what she saw in those Kent nonverbal communications, not recrimination as she had thought; but, worry that something outside would destroy this … utopia. No wonder Clark was such a boy scout. He had lived his whole life within this feeling of love and acceptance. Lois let herself cry.

"Lois you will never be alone, we will always be with you, in your heart. Dad is there now, if you look. I know you miss him, we all miss him. But; he is with us, listen with your heart and you will hear him speak to you. He will guide you as he guides me. Listen closely Lois and you will hear him call you daughter. He loves you, and that love resides in you always. You can never do anything that can not be forgiven. You are family. Cry as much as you need to, we are not ashamed. It shows how much you care for him. Just don't let your missing him fester and destroy your life. He would hate that he did so much harm to such a beautiful person…" Clark whispers to Lois.

Lois turned her head and looked right into Clark's eyes. "Cla… Smallville you called me beautiful." Lois queried through the tears.

"Lois, you know you're beautiful, even gorgeous. Do you think I'm blind?" Clark said with a silly grin. "Lois are you going to be okay?"

"Yes, Smallville, I fine. I just needed to hear you say it." Lois said a smile appearing beneath the tears.

"You needed to hear me say 'you're beautiful'?" Clark queried a bewildered expression on his face.

"No, silly, that I was family. I always thought of 'dad' and 'mom' as my family. And I always knew they cared for me, but I felt like I just didn't fit." Lois said timidly.

"Trust me Lois, you do." Clark declared.

"Smallville, thank you; I feel so much better now. I felt so lonely. I hated whenever I had time to think. All I could think about was him and that I would never get to tell him I loved him. He was a father to me. "Lois said quietly.

"He knew Lois. Believe me he knew. He loves you too." Clark said reassuringly.

"Smallville, can I stay here a while?" Lois asked shyly.

"Of course Lois, stay as long as you like." Clark replied as he started to release Lois.

:"Smallville…" Lois said barely above a whisper. "Smallville, please hold me. I need…"

"Of course Lois, I am so sorry. Would you like to lie down?" Clark asked.

"No, just hold me." Lois said simply.

"For as long as you like Lois" Clark replied earnestly.

Clark held her against his chest and ran his fingers through her hair, after about ten minutes Lois fell asleep. Clark looked at her and his heart melted, she was an angel. How could he not have seen it before? She was a strong woman on the outside, but with a heart of gold on the inside. He hoped she would be back to her old self soon. He missed the feisty impetuous Lois. This softer Lois made him, want to lock her away and never let anyone hurt her. He knew this was wrong this would suffocate Lois and she would be lost to him. How had he ever lived without her? Clark thought before he too dozed off.