Blinding Darkness

Sutoomu

Okay, first off, I have to give an extremely huge apology to all my readers of this story for taking so damned long.

I AM SOOOOO INCREDIBLY SORRY

However,t here is an explanation as to how long it took for me to post this, because I had it written when I posted chapter ten. Believe it or not - though I hope you believe it - my laptop connection broke down on me AGAIN. I swear that thing is cursed. So I didn't worry about it for a while, not being too anxious to get it fixed because I am a procrastinator. But then a very wonderful reviewer gave me the guilt trip through a PM and convinced me to get my butt out of bed and go to the store and get discs so I could use them for another computer and post a chapter. The CD-R's didn't work, for some reason, so I went back and got DVD-R's. Those didn't work either, unfortunately. There was something wrong with my formatting program and all that. Well, I got ANOTHER guilt trip PM from the same person, and I decided that I had to take major steps. So I took my laptop into Staples just to get the discs loaded. And now I'm at the library, posting them.

This very wonderful reviewer who kicked my ass into gear is Kami Crimson. Thank you very much, this proves that stalking works! No, I'm just kidding, but the PM's worked. Here's the eleventh chapter.

Therefore, this chapter is dedicated to Kami Crimson.

And now my thank you to reviewers. Thank you kinami101, Kerrilea, AmePiper, Lady11Occult, Maskelle, hitomisure, sokerfreek922, Color Me Red, Assonya, rebelyell59, Kami Crimson, summersarebright, and Kracken I.w.

WARNING MAJOR OOC FOR TROWA IN THIS CHAP.

ENJOY!

"I need you, Quatre Raberba Winner," Duo said through gritted teeth. "To just back off and leave me alone!" Quatre's face fell as Duo said this, and a look of pain crossed his face as Trowa took his eyes and led him out of the room. Duo collapsed onto his bed and groaned.

"Be good," Trowa said to Duo as he left.

"Oh, ha ha ha!" Duo replied sarcastically as the door closed.

"Trowa, he...," Quatre started half heartedly, hurt by Duo's angry words.

"No," Trowa replied firmly. He took the three of them to the livingroom and sat them firmly upon the couch, then sat across from them on the chair. He considered them all silently, then spoke. "We have to have a talk about our behaviour over the past month and a half." He held up his hand to stop Quatre as the blonde's mouth opened. "I know we all care greatly about Duo, and want to keep him safe. I know that Wufei and Quatre love him, and I know he's Heero's best friend. I'm probably the least one close to Duo, but perhaps that is why I understand."

"Duo never wants to be alone," Heero said, and Trowa could see he was confused.

"That was before," Trowa explained. "When Duo had a free rein over his life. His life. It is still his and always will be. We have no right to force our help upon him."

"I wasn't trying to force my help on him!" Quatre protested.

"You may not have been trying to, Quatre, but that's what happened. Now, I'm sure Duo is grateful for some things we've done. But we're pushing it. Duo is right. He needs his privacy, just like the rest of us. He hasn't really been able to do anything he enjoys lately. You may not have noticed, but Duo always does what we are doing when we're watching over him. He'll sit in the library doing nothing so Wufei can read. He'll sit at the table and eat all the fruit while Quatre is cooking dinner. He'll watch Heero type on his labtop for hours. And he's even sat outside for me so I could practice my routine. I think he's only watched TV five or something times, and he hasn't touched the video games at all. Duo hasn't been out of the house in a month and a half. He's like a prisoner. Kept at home, watched over every second, talked about as though he isn't there."

"Is it really that bad?" Quatre asked, blushing in shame.

"The sketch book was a good idea," Trowa said. "It seems to relieve him somewhat, but I worry that it's not relaxing him. Think about it. He has these nightmares, and then he has to draw them out on paper and practically relive them. It may not be that way, of course. It may get the nightmares out of his head when he puts them on paper. I don't know. Burning his smokes was another good idea," Trowa looked at Heero, who smirked at the memory. "I think he's relieved that they're gone, now. We have helped him, but too much in some ways. Duo isn't Duo anymore. He's someone completely different. He isn't wearing his clothes because he can't wear long sleeved shirts. He hasn't truly smiled or laughed. He doesn't talk as much. He's changed, and I'm not liking it. But we've been too busy trying to help him that we haven't noticed."

"What can we do?" Wufei mumbled, looking at the floor.

Trowa smiled. This was a step in the right direction. What direction that was, he didn't know, but it was right. "Quatre has to stop worrying so much and trust Duo. You have to trust Duo if he says something. He's the one who claims he doesn't lie, remember? He sometimes twists the truth, I admit, but he's very honest with you, Quatre. And you, simply, let your love and concern for Duo's safety override Duo himself. Duo might call it 'mindwarp'."

Quatre looked into Trowa's eyes for a moment, then sighed. "I understand," he said. "I guess I was too forceful. I just wanted to help."

"You did, little one," Trowa assured him. "But you took complete control. You have to help, not take over. No more plastic cutlery. I say we let Duo burn all the damn things. They're very annoying to eat with."

"Quatre blushed. "That was too much, eh?"

"Yes. Wufei."

"I'm an asshole," Wufei groaned. "I fucked up."

"I wasn't going to say that but I won't deny it," Trowa said. "You did speak before you thought it over, and assumed things. But don't beat yourself up over that. Duo will forgive you. He loves you, and I'm thankful you finally got the stubborn idiot to admit it."

"Idiot?" Wufei blinked, surprised Trowa had insulted someone.

"Stubborn?" Heero asked.

"Let's just say I've talked with him before," Trowa said.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Quatre asked.

"He threatened to kill me without regret," Trowa's lips curved in a small smile. "A most interesting threat. You also have to relax a little, Wufei. You're becoming as stiff and snappish as you were in the war. Duo brought you out of that, he doesn't want you to go back into it. Be yourself!"

"Yes, mother," Wufei sighed.

"That's what I mean. Duo taught you to joke," Trowa looked over at his lover. "Heero, you're in the same situation as Wufei, somewhat. You're reverting back to 'perfect soldier' mode. Duo hates that with a deep passion. You have to treat him as Duo, not something to protect. Duo can take care of himself. We all have to treat him as Duo. Like we did and how we should."

"This is why I love you, you know," Heero said. "You always know what's going on and what to do."

"Is that all?" Trowa pretended to be offended, and then he laughed. "So, changes start now. When Duo is ready, he'll come out of his room. I, myself, am up for some bacon and pizza."

"You're trying to flush him out with the smell, aren't you?" Wufei asked suspiciously.

"No, I'm in the mood for pizza," Trowa replied with lit up eyes. "And bacon cooked by Heero. Of course, I won't deny Duo that lovely treat. We'll leave a plate at his door."

"You're a lot wiser than you look, you know," Quatre said as they stood up. "And you look very wise."

"Why thank you," Trowa nodded. "Now let's deal with my stomach. Talking makes me hungry." And he herded them to the kitchen.

"Pizza at four in the morning...?" Heero blinked.

"Are you sure he's okay?" Wufei asked. "It's almost three o'clock."

"All the food we've placed at his door is gone, which means he's eating it, which means he's alive," Trowa deduced. "Common logic can save you so much energy."

"Can we at least knock?" Wufei growled.

"I said no," Trowa replied. "Please don't sink so low you have to ask me again."

"I think your boyfriend is getting a little too high and mighty," Wufei looked at Heero.

"I would agree," Heero replied, pausing from typing on his laptop to return the look. "Were he not right." Wufei groaned in defeat and walked out to find his own love.

"I think he's just agitated from waiting," Trowa mused absently to his lover. When he was with Heero he always found he could talk freely about nothing of importance. "As I recall, Wufei never had much patience."

"What little patience he had was destroyed by Duo when they met," Heero smirked.

"He almost destroyed yours as well," Trowa smiled. His gaze was pulled away from Heero and refocused on the open dining room doorway as his name was called.

"That was Duo," Heero set his arms on the armrests of his chair and pushed himself up. He winced as his arm protested.

"Sit back down and type, mister," Trowa half ordered, half teased. "He called for me."

"Lucky devil," Heero replied, giving Trowa a loving smile. Trowa returned it and then made his way to Duo's room.

"You called?" he asked. Duo had barely opened the door, and his eye was all of his face that Trowa could see.

"How's the situation?" Duo asked cautiously.

"I had a talk with them," Trowa said, and explained what he had tried to do. "Thay won't change instantly, of course."

"Oh," Duo said, relief evident on his face. "Thanks. Um, can you do me a favor? Can you get Quatre and Wufei to sit down and make sure they don't tackle me when I come out? 'Cause my ankle kind of hurts, ya know, and I'm not really ready..."

"I can do that," Trowa nodded. "Do you need any assistance getting downstairs?" Duo shook his head. "Give me a few minutes. I'll sit them all in the diningroom. They'll have to leap over the table to get to you."

"Thanks, Tro," Duo said. He paused, then continued. "Do you, uh, know that you're making jokes?"

"Yes," Trowa replied with a completely blank and bored face.

"Right, right," Duo said. "Sorry." He closed the door and Trowa rolled his eyes.

He found Wufei and Quatre in their room, with Quatre sitting inbetween Wufei's legs with his back against Wufei's front, and a sad look on his face. Trowa managed to pull them out of there without saying Duo was coming out, and he got them down to the diningroom where Heero was. Sitting them down in strategically chosen spots, Trowa sat beside Heero and leaned his chair back. Balancing perfectly on the two legs of his chair, Trowa closed his eyes and relaxed.

"Why did you drag us down here, Trowa?" Quatre asked after a moment. "I thought we were going to have another talk."

"We are," Trowa replied vaguely. Quatre sighed and set his head on the edge of the table. It slipped off and he began to tilt slowly in the direction of the floor, showing Quatre was very, very bored. And probably annoyed with waiting.

"Hey, guys."

"Duo!" Quatre exclaimed, jerking up. His head connected with the table with a sharp crack and he pulled away, holding his head tightly and hissing. Trowa was thrown off balance as the tabletop bumped his knees when Quatre hit it, and the chair tilted backwards and landed on the floor, throwing Trowa out of it. Trowa rolled and ended up sitting right ways up in a rather clumsy way, and then he started laughing. Time seemed to stop as Trowa laughed. At least, it did for everyone else, since they were too busy using up time to stare at him. Trowa got control of his laughter and stood up. He righted his chair and sat back onto it, smiling.

"Who knew you could cause such a reaction?" Heero muttered to Duo, who still stood at the door.

"I'll say," Duo replied. "You okay, Quat?" he asked as he limped over to a chair.

"I'm fine," Quatre said, rubbing his head and glaring daggers at the table. "What about you?"

"I'm doin' good," Duo answered. "You know, I think this is the first time I'm glad someone shot me."

"Your welcome," Heero said, closing his labtop and setting it aside. Which meant Heero was treating this very seriously, if he closed his labtop of his own free will.

"Okay," Duo took a deep breath. " Most importantly, I'm sorry that I yelled at you guys. I just kind of hit the edge and snapped there, and I'm really sorry about it. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

"We understand, now, how you must have felt," Wufei said. "We were smothering you."

"Yes, and I thankful to you for letting me have some time alone. I've done a lot of thinking over the past," he glanced at his watch. "Eleven hours, and I've had a few revelations. Thanks to Trowa, you already basically know what you have to change, and now I'm going to tell you how I'm going to change. Many thanks for the food, by the way." Duo paused and shifted. "First of all, I want you to understand that I don't really like to open my inner self to people, even you guys, which is why I absolutely hate it when I suddenly break down. But I'm never going to get better unless I talk about it..."

"Are you sure?" Quatre asked.

"Even if I'm not, I have to," Duo said firmly. He took something and set it on the table. Everyone looked at it for a moment.

"That's your sketch book," Heero said.

Okay, the library is closing, bai! hope you liked, R & R!

Storm