A/N: Howdy! Only two or three chapters to go! 😭

Chapter 40

Sunshine had broken down minutes after Pam had driven away. Since then, she had been swinging from insatiable to inconsolable to withdrawn to pissed off to cold and detached. She had started asking to be bitten during sex again — they were always careful not to break the skin — but would then refuse to fuck or feed for days at a time. She hadn't left the house, afraid that she would hurt someone. She had even lashed out at Alcide, baring her fangs and hissing, and then had locked herself into one of the spare rooms for three nights.

Things weren't improving. If anything, they'd seemed to be getting worse. It had been more than a month and a half and they were all worried. After she'd spent another night locked in a room alone, Tray had had enough. He booked a flight the next morning and drove to LAX before she could read his mind and make him stay home.

He landed in Shreveport just after midnight and drove straight to Pam's house. They'd heard from Packmaster Flood that Eric was living there. The house that had been built on the ashes of the one that had burned sat empty. Tray pounded on the door. When nobody answered, he tried the knob and was surprised when it turned. It was very much not like Eric. He went inside.

He looked in the kitchen first and then headed for the office. He'd been inside a few times when he'd been Eric's day man and knew the layout. He found Eric there behind the desk and lost his temper right away. Tray stuck his finger in the vampire's face, not even caring that Eric could pull it off as easily as if it were a turkey drumstick. Tray started to shout.

"You keep your child on a fucking leash. Sunshine was finally starting to heal and then you fuckers pushed your way back into her life again. Every single bit of progress she'd made is gone. Stay the fuck away and don't come knocking again. You and your spawn have ruined her life enough times."

Eric's face was blank and his voice was flat. "You're still in love with her, I see. You live with them now. I suppose that you're fucking her, too."

He obviously was. Eric could smell her. It wasn't strong, but it was there, and it made his stomach knot. There was a bite mark on Tray's neck that had peeked out of the collar of his shirt a couple of times, too. Eric wondered if Tray had shown him on purpose, just to rub it in.

Tray's voice was no more than a growl. He needed to keep at least a little bit calm. It was only a few days before the full moon.

"What is it to you who she fucks, Northman? You threw her away like garbage. And I'm sure that you haven't been celibate for the past four years."

They heard the front door close and Pam walked into the room. She looked down her nose at Tray, even if she was several inches shorter.

"Actually, he has been. He hasn't had anyone since he fucked Freyda the cunt. She killed his child, drove away his sweet little Sunshine, and ruined his existence, so he's branded his dick with a scarlet A. It's just one of the ways that he likes to torture himself."

"Pam." It was half-hearted, at best, and did nothing to stop her from talking.

"He never leaves the house. I even have to do his job for him."

"Pam." Eric still looked beaten down, but there was a spark in his eyes and a hardness in his voice that hadn't been there before.

She studied him for a moment. "You know, this is actually the least pathetic I've seen him look in years."

"Pam! Enough!"

She kept talking as if he hadn't spoken. "He has been impossible to live with. That's one of the reasons I went. I wouldn't have made her come back with me, even if I could have, but it doesn't matter. I told her the truth. I have been commanded to never command my child to do anything."

Eric's jaw bunched and he narrowed his eyes, but he kept his mouth closed. Pam had the bond slammed shut. Tray showing up was like being thrown a life preserver. She almost smiled a little at the irony of that metaphor. A much more appropriate one was that she scented blood in the water. She looked at Eric blandly.

"I was under the impression that nobody should get involved in a relationship between maker and child, but what do I know?"

Eric put his hands down on the desk in front of him and stood up. "I am your maker and you are my child. What you should know is that whatever I command of you is my prerogative. You are her mistress, but I am her mistress's master."

Pam could hardly contain herself. She hadn't seen this much passion from her maker in a very long time. Just a little more…

"And yet I went and saw her, anyway." Pam shrugged at him and then examined her fingernails. "It's likely a good thing that she didn't come back with me. I don't even know if you would remember what to do with a woman."

All Tray could do was just stand there and watch Pam give a master class in manipulation by humiliation. Tray had made a huge mistake in going there. He might as well have been waving a red cape at a bull. And Pam had come along behind him and set it on fire. It was almost an invitation for Eric to go and try to win Sookie back and upset her again.

Something seemed to click in his mind and Tray realized that that was exactly why he was there. She would never be happy again without at least getting some closure. And, for that, she would need to see Eric and talk to him. And, deep down, Tray had known.

He hoped that she would forgive him someday.

And part of him even hoped that she would forgive Eric, too. For her sake. Even though it meant that Tray might have to let her go. As much as she hated Eric now, Tray knew that she would never stop loving him.

Eric's fangs had run down and he was near bloodlust. Pam turned to Tray, showing her maker her back. Displaying no fear of him. She figured that this was worth a few broken bones.

"He didn't even try to fight for her. He just let her clean up his mess, tucked his tail between his legs, and skulked away. As I said. Pathetic."

Eric picked Pam up by the neck and slammed her into the wall. His voice was close to a hiss. "I was respecting her wishes."

Pam couldn't answer until he released her throat. She raised an eyebrow at him. Eventually, he set her down. She filled her lungs and gave it to him. She had finally lost her temper.

"She needed some space, you idiot, but not forever. I went because I knew that you wouldn't. You gave me no choice. Four years of watching the shell of my maker mope around from place to place, drinking bagged blood once a week and flagellating himself, was enough."

"It was not your place."

"I am her maker. It certainly was my fucking place."

"I am your maker and I say it wasn't!"

Pam's voice was cold as ice. "You threw away everything to avenge me and then didn't even seem to give a shit when she brought me back. It was a slap in the face, Eric, but I came to terms with it."

He recoiled, as if he'd been punched.

She continued. "If I could go back in time, I would beat the hell out of you for what you did. She was the one who saved the queen and the state and countless others. She was the one who kept you from being executed for committing treason. And she was the one who avenged me and then brought me back while you blew up your life and dishonoured us all by fucking my killer and promising her one hundred years of being her bitch. You fell hook, line, and sinker for that evil fuck's lies and threw everything away for nothing."

His voice was quiet. "If I hadn't done it, you would still be finally dead."

"At least when I was finally dead I had some peace. Instead, you have made me almost as bitter and miserable as you. This isn't an existence. Don't do me any favours next time."

They were glaring at each other. Tray was looking down at Eric's boots. His voice was soft.

"She hates what she is. Thinks she's a monster for what she did at the ball, no matter how many she saved. She tried to yank out her fangs a couple of times and Alcide had to silver her to make her stop. He cried the first time, after he saw the burns. We sometimes had to beg her to feed and she won't drink from anyone but us. She hardly leaves the house or our bus when we're on tour. She's been to a handful of Werewolves shows, but only after she fed from all four of us first and then wore something silver over her clothes besides. She wanted more than anything to be human again. She wanted to go back to her old life and maybe even have kids someday and now that's out of the question. She won't even allow herself near one now. She is terrified of hurting anyone else, even though she's every bit as sweet and gentle as she ever was. She's scared that she'll have to live with the guilt and shame and self-loathing over what she did forever.

"She needed to be free of you but, with Pam back, she's tied to you for eternity. She has been terrified every single day since making her wish that her maker would show up and tear her away from her family again. She gave up her last chance for humanity knowing that it could happen — and probably would — but she did it anyway. And then here comes Pam. Sookie broke down after she left. Puking up blood everywhere again. She is selfless to a fault, but not like this. Not 'give up her chance to be human again to make sure that the two people responsible for killing her and ruining her life have a happy ending' selfless. She isn't a martyr. She's had regrets, but only in her worst moments, and she drowned herself in guilt every single time. She tried to hide it but she couldn't. Not from us. She would have given almost anything to be alive again, but she gave up that chance for you."

Tray looked up and met Eric's eyes. "I don't know why in the hell I'm telling you this. She could only have given all of that up for someone she loves. She never stopped."

Pam's words were harsh but she just sounded tired. "I never took you for stupid or cowardly, Eric, but get it through your thick fucking skull that you at least owe her an explanation, an apology, and some gratitude. If she refuses to listen, then that's on her, but at least write her a goddamn letter."

Eric sat back down and put his elbows on the desk and his hands in his hair. After a few minutes, Pam and Tray left the room. Pam closed the door behind them.