Chapter 9

Lois was having problems at work all week. At the most inopportune times she kept reliving the 'kiss.' The softness, the caring, the desire, the urgency, the yearning the perfection of that single moment just kept circulating through her thoughts.

She finally decided to work out her apartment after the first day. She was tired of all the looks and whispers from the other staffers, not that she blamed them. She would just stop at her desk as a smile spread across her face, then she would mumble "Who the hell does he think he is?"

She was so distracted that Chloe had to call three times to get her on the phone. When Chloe told Lois she was coming down Friday night, Lois knew Clark had already talked to her. 'He can't even let me talk to my own cousin' she thought irritably. She agreed reluctantly, she was in no mood to talk about Clark Kent.

In her heart she knew Clark was looking out for her, but she couldn't get over the fact he turned her down. Lois didn't think of herself as a beauty queen but after that kiss his caution had really hurt her. She had never even thought of her Smallville in that way. He had always just been dependable ol' Smallville, always there for her when she needed help.

Her thoughts traveled back to what had happened that night. She had to admit to herself she had wanted him and she wanted his arms around her. Lois knew her way around a man, yet never had she felt such passion with a kiss.

She needed him, but the problem was that Lois never needed someone before. What had he done to her? She was going to be strong and she was going to be independent. She told herself repeatedly that when Chloe came over, the other night was going to be forgotten; she had to forget it ever happened.

Friday came and she was still trying to forget the 'kiss'. She was determined to stand firm, no matter what Chloe said. It had taken her years to build the walls surrounding her to make sure no one hurt her. She was not going to let some farm boy destroy that, look at how he treated Lana. She was not going to be a victim.

She was just getting ready go downstairs for a snack when, there was a knock at the door. 'Okay Lane, be strong' she thought to herself as she opened the door. "Hey cuz', I didn't think you would be here this early. " Lois said pasting on a fake smile.

"I got off early and thought I'd bring some Chinese take out. That way we could spend some time catching up." Chloe said producing a brown paper bag. "All we need is something to drink. Do you want me to go downstairs and get something while you clear of the table?" Chloe said noticing all the paperwork Lois had been doing earlier. "Must be busy with the Senator out of town, I've never seen you bring home work from the office before." Chloe finished.

"Truth be told" Lois started as she gathered the papers. "I have been working from home this week. No need to take the trip to the office without Mrs. Kent there." Lois said succinctly. "And about the drinks, I have some soda in the refrigerator." Lois added.

"That's great" Chloe said trying to gauge how upset Lois was. "Here let me get some plates and a set of utensils. I got you chopsticks of course. Lois Lane can't eat Chinese food with a fork it would be sacrilege." Chloe joked watching for Lois's response.

"You know I spent three years in the orient, and you know what the General says… 'When in Rome" Lois said knowing Chloe's little game.

"Do as the Romans do." Chloe finished gaining no insight to Lois's attitude. "So cuz' anything new happen while I was away?" Chloe asked, deciding to just jump right in.

"Chlo, don't act like you don't know what happened. I'll bet he called you right after I left." Lois said angrily.

"Well you would have lost that bet, I called him. It must have been close to eleven, I wanted to know if you liked the picture." Chloe said looking around Lois's apartment while setting the table. "From the conspicuous absence of said picture, I can tell you are really pissed at Clark. He told me you loved the pictures." Chloe finished.

"I did love the pictures, what I didn't appreciate was being mauled by him. Really Chlo, he thinks just because he looks okay he can have his way with anyone." Lois said angrily ripping her chopsticks apart.

"Lois, you and I both know he did no such thing." Chloe replied seeing for the first time how upset Lois was. One of things most people found hard to cope with about Lois was (how) she told the cold harsh truth. Never ask Lois a question if you couldn't take her answer. She had to be really upset to lie.

"Chloe, he … kissed me!' Lois protested knowing that Chloe had already heard the whole story.

"I heard you kissed each other." Chloe said knowingly watching for Lois's reaction.

"That's what he would tell you, you can't believe that. I never thought of him like that." Lois declared trying to convince herself. "You're the one the goes all weak in the knees for Smallville."

"Lois you can lie to yourself, but I can see the electricity in the air when you two are together." Chloe declared. "Clark and I are as we should be, best friends. I realized that chemistry just wasn't there; but you two, you can sense the magnetism in the air."

"Attraction… between Clark and me? Chloe, where'd you get that crazy idea?" Lois asked puzzled by Chloe's conviction.

Chloe walk over to Lois and put her hands on Lois's shoulders. "Lois you can lie to yourself, all you want; but the truth is plainly evident to anyone who has eyes. I know Mr. and Mrs. Kent both see it. Clark is always happier around you, even though you give him hell."

"What are you talking about Chlo? Clark and I are always at each other complaining." Lois stated emphatically.

"Lois, that's just you two flirting. Think about it Lois, you don't act like that with anyone else. It's a game between you two, you both love it. And what about your pet name for him? To you he's not Clark but he's your 'Smallville.' I can see that sly smile every time you call him that. At first it seemed to bother him, now I see that Kent smile every time you call him 'Smallville'" Chloe said patiently. She could see the wheels in Lois's mind turning, trying to verify what she had just been told against her memories, then there it was– a flash of revelation.

Chloe knew it would only be a matter of time before Lois could admit her feelings for Clark. As the silence grew louder, Chloe knew that she would have to break it; Lois was still reeling for the implications of what she had just realized. Before Chloe could utter another word Lois's phone rang.

After Lois made no move to pick it up, Chloe reached over and looked at the display. She was startled when she saw 'Mom' and a home icon displayed, suddenly it fell into place. She held the phone out to Lois and said, "Clark's calling" with a beatific smile spreading across her face.

Lois took the phone and answered tensely "What do you want Sma … Clark?"

A couple seconds passed and Clark replied timidly and quickly, to ensure he wouldn't be cut off. "Lois, I want to apologize. I'm sorry I hurt you. I never meant to hurt you."

"Is this why you called Clark? I don't need your apology. I'm a little busy right now; if you have nothing else to say, I going to go." Lois said harshly.

"Wait Lois, I need you to come over Sunday. There is something you need to know… as a member of this family you need to know." Clark replied quickly his voice getting quieter with each word.

"Clark, I don't see why I should come over there. I really don't want to see you right now." Lois stated evenly.

Clark pleaded, "Please Lois, this is hard enough as it is. Just come over sometime after noon. And wear something warm– bring a heavy coat and gloves."

"Clark, it's the middle of spring. Bring a coat, are you crazy?" Lois said perplexed as she saw Chloe's eyes widen as she heard this exchange.

"Please Lois, just do it." Clark said, his voice wavering.

When he heard no reply from Lois, he ended the conversation. He was on the verge of tears when he spoke quietly into the phone, "I miss you Lois…bye."

Lois hung up the phone, feeling guilty. She had just ripped Clark's heart out and she knew it; she had heard the hurt in his voice from the beginning of the short conversation and she went for the jugular anyway. She felt ashamed that she could have done this to him. He had only showed her friendship and she knew he had never meant to hurt her, yet she needed to lash out and gut him.

Then she remembered Chloe. The look of shock and disapproval was evident in her stance and demeanor. "Chloe …" she began.

"Lois, never have I been so ashamed! He loves you and you just eviscerated him. From what I heard; he was going to bare his entire being to you, and you showed him no compassion whatsoever!" Chloe fumed, interrupting whatever Lois had to say.

"He …" Lois tried to say. But, Chloe barged on.

"You have no idea of the enormity of what he just proposed." Chloe replied resolutely. "Lois, Clark is a mess about what happened. He loves you. He can no longer imagine his life without you. He thought you might reject him if you knew." Chloe finished packing up to leave.

"Chlo … I'm sorry. He hurt me and I just needed to hurt him back… wait, did you just say 'he loves me'?" Lois asked her face turning as bright as a tomato.

"Yes Lois, he told me he loves you. He was trying to be chivalrous and not take advantage of you. So, it hurt. Don't you think he's hurt too? He wanted to kiss you again, believe me; I could see it in his eyes. " Chloe said fervently.

"Chlo, it was so … perfect. More than anything, I wanted him and he pulled away. He said no." Lois confessed barely above a whisper as she started to play with her hands.

"Lois, Clark can really be difficult to understand but he would never hurt a friend. You know that." Chloe said more evenly.

"I know and in a way, I'm thankful he did pull away. Chlo … this is hard to admit, but I think we would have gone a lot further if it didn't stop. One minute he's just Smallville, next minute he … I don't know how to describe it; we just seemed to belong together. Does that even make sense?" Lois said thoughtfully.

"More than you know Lois, more than you know. Now what are you going to do about it?" Chloe asked taking hold of Lois's hand.

Lois was quiet a moment, "he wants me to come over Sunday, but I don't know. I have no idea how I might act. My head says stay away, but my heart says I should go. What do you think I should do, Chloe?" Lois asked shyly.

She was not used to being this open with her feelings. She had always kept people at arms length, very few people saw her vulnerable. Even people she had been intimate with never saw her this exposed.

"Lois, he's an amazing man. I think you should give him a chance. You two really have something. I'm going to go see if he's okay and Lois, you want to bring the heaviest coat you have. Make sure you bring a scarf and gloves. You may even want a hat. Keep an open mind Lois. I know you'll do the right thing." Chloe said as she reached for the door.

"Chloe, tell Clark, I'm sorry. Love ya' cuz'" Lois said hopefully, giving her cousin a bear hug.

"I love you too, Lois. If you need to talk, just call my cell. I'll always be there for you." Chloe said smiling as she left Lois' embrace and walked through the door. Before she got to the stairs she turned and said "It'll be all right Lois, he loves you."