I love all you reviewers with my life, I mean it. You guys inspire me. Tear. Anyway, this is actually out sooner than I had planned, but I'm not too sure if I like it.
ALright ReAd this dudes. I'm thinking I'm gonna bump up the rating possibly :S This isn't going to turn into a smut story or whatever, but I want to be safe, since Fanfiction has almost no leniency for inappropriately rated stories, and I know even the language in this is pushing it. And you know... just in case ;)
So don't be freaked out is all.
This note is getting a bit long for me, so I'll let you get to it. I own nothing, sadly, but the twisted thoughts in my own head. Reviewers rocks, I love you.
Draco Malfoy set the letter down, pressing his fingers to his temple, eyes shut slightly in frustration. He opened one eye, immaturely hoping that just maybe it may have vanished. He sighed as his wish failed to come true, gently massaging his head.
He pulled out a scrap of parchment and a quill, leaning back in his seat to plan out the letter.
Dear Father
Fuck you.
Draco
No, he figured that would be far too blunt. If only they hadn't gotten rid of the 'gesture by mail' system at the Hogsmeade post office. Unfortunately too many people were sending wandless curses. For he could think of the perfect gesture to send...
Dear Father
You know I would rather burn in hell for eternity than get that bloody mark. If you insist that I get it, I am here waiting for your death curse as a simple alternative. Although, knowing you, you'd merely send someone to do it for you. Bad press and all. I hope the dark lord kills you soon. Nah, I don't. I hope he gets one of his lowly servants to do it for him. The two of you are more alike than I had even noticed. I hope you both meet the same fate.
I expect you had a horrible Christmas.
Draco.
That seemed at least slightly more appropriate, so he called over his owl and sent it off. The bastard had better get what he deserved. His father had been pestering him to get the dark mark since Draco had left Hogwarts. Through mail of course; though Lucius was infuriated that his own son would be able to find such an obscure hiding spot. When really, he just didn't know where to look.
Blaise had searched Draco out the day after Christmas break began, debating a long-standing decision he was having great difficulty solving. Draco offered his advice and his friend left, considerably brighter than the blond had seen him in five years. The more he thought about, the more the idea appealed to him as well. Of course, he would never go through with it. He was too independent for such a switch.
When Draco had finally sat down to write to Granger again, he found that with every word he wrote, the more he wanted to spill his mind to her. But he didn't, out of fear of her reactions. He had left when they still had quite a tender relationship, and he didn't particularly want to make it much worse. If anything, he wanted to improve it drastically. He had realized he didn't care the slightest what happened, as long as he was able to talk to her. He argued with the voice that threatened to mention the 'L' word. Draco was positive it most certainly wasn't.
After all, what did that have to do with anything? He had already given up on the 'I don't like her' battle, but he complained that he probably only felt things for her for no reason. Maybe it was sexual deprivation. Or he missed the way she wrapped her arms around his neck when he kissed her, or the heat that filled him at her touch... or maybe it was the way she had a witty response to match every one of his, or how she was the only girl in school who could keep up with him in an academic duel. It definitely wasn't how he felt truly happy for the first time in his life whenever he talked with her, or how he sometimes thought of what the future would be like with a small, curved detail added in.
He doubted it was any of that. Though denial had never exactly been one of his strong suits, he was determined not to let this go so quickly. After all, the last time he tried denial he had ended up with another blonde Slytherin constantly at his side, and Hermione full of hatred at him.
He had decided he preferred brunettes anyway. And Sal's hair was far too straight for his liking, and her disinterest in books was rather a turnoff... oh damn it all. He knew he was failing immensely.
"Merlin, how do you do this to me," he muttered to himself, though he knew there was no way Hermione was even listening.
He had determined he was lonely. Incredibly. Spending such an amount of time alone in America with absolutely no companions at all had done quite a deal on his psyche. He didn't appreciate it.
"What the fuck am I doing here?" he questioned himself, receiving no answer. He started to laugh, quietly, building in volume until he cut himself off, figuring he sounded like a maniac. He quickly shrunk his items he had purchased, grabbed his broom and flew out the window. Destination: London.
"I swear, they're working us harder every day," Ron said the night before they were to return to Hogwarts. Harry nodded in exhausting, while Hermione just shook her head.
Moody had them all fly into Paris and back that day, and then still kept up with the intense pattern of practice the spells now, worry about the side effects later. The only people entirely keen on the program were Moody and Lupin for some odd reason. Hermione thought he was merely compelled by revenge for his two best friends.
And so the three ate a quiet dinner, collapsing with sleep almost instantly afterwards, until all too soon it was time to return to the school.
The next day on the train, Hermione was having difficulty concealing the fact that she was actually quite anxious to see if Draco would be returning to school after the break or not. There was a small part of her that said her curiosity was something much more, though she ignored it. And so she was brought about to patrolling the halls alone, keeping an open eye for mischevious students.
"Hey, Granger?" a voice asked somewhat quietly, and she spun around quickly, as her eyes fell upon Blaise Zabini.
"Oh hi, Zabini," she muttered, stunned.
"I- can I talk to you for a moment?" he asked, and Hermione nodded, as he pulled her into a vacant cabin. "I realize you're probably shocked as hell right now," he added with a grin. She gave a weak smile, trying to determine what kind of evil plot he could be trying to pull. She sat down across from him, waiting patiently for him to explain his actions.
Hermione tried desperately not to stare as she realized she had never quite taken a good look at the Slytherin before. He had dark hair, almost black that was spiked to perfection, and intensely brown eyes that accented his tanned skin. He had an incredibly chiseled jaw, and a quirky grin that Hermione recognized from the many male models in Lavender and Parvati's magazines.
He smirked as he noticed her staring, and an ironic voice told her she had a soft spot for Slytherins. But his smirk told her it was easy to understand how he was known as Draco Malfoy's best friend.
"Okay look Granger, there's no easy way to put this really, just don't freak out on me alright? I'm trusting you with this, and I don't want you to go nuts. But please believe me," he said quickly with a tone of pleading. She tried to determine anything false in his gaze but failed.
She nodded, raising one eyebrow. "What is it Zabini?" she asked, glancing at her watch. Who knew how many students could be breaking rules at this very moment.
"Granger, do you think I'm a death eater?" he asked simply and she was thrown off guard. She had expected his request to be something much less drastic, maybe to ask for transfiguration help or something.
"I guess I've never thought about it, I know Malfoy isn't, I don't know Zabini," she said truthfully.
He glanced to the floor nervously. "I talked to Alastor Moody a few nights ago," he said softly. "I wanted to tell him that I would like to switch to your side in this whole... war thing," he grinned. "But he didn't believe me. Told me to tell those "damned death eaters" not to try to trick them anymore."
Hermione was staring at him with her mouth slightly open, eyes unblinking.
"Hang on, you want to switch to our side, and Moody won't let you?" she asked. She thought they had been spending the whole break searching for new recruits, not scaring them off.
"Yes, because I'm a Slytherin. But you've gotta believe me Granger, I want this more than anything. Those fucking Death Eaters have ruined my life, even ask Malfoy. I know you keep in touch with him," he said with a sideways grin.
"I... I don't know, Zabini, this is all a bit much," she said awkwardly. He looked disappointed. "What exactly do you want me to do about it?"
"I want you to get to know me, and to convince Moody that I'm telling the truth," he said, looking straight into her eyes. Hermione shuddered, but didn't withdraw her gaze.
"Why me though? Why not Harry?" she asked in a last ditch effort at hoping to wake up. He laughed and she narrowed her eyes. It still sounded like a cold Slytherin laugh.
"Potter? Him and Weasley wouldn't give me a second thought. They'd turn me into Mungo's disturbed ward, and then tell the world. That isn't what I want, Hermione," he said, and she blinked as he said her first name. "I don't want anyone to see it coming," he said darkly.
"Fine... Blaise, so I get to know you? No guarantees about changing Moody's mind, but I'll give you that. Just in case you really do mean this," she said after quiet deliberation. He lit up with a true smile whatsoever, acting as if Hermione had just granted him another life on his death bed.
"You honestly rock, Hermione, you won't regret it," he said, and she grinned back, unsure why she had accepted his offer at all. But she figured that if he was really positive about what he wanted, who was she to stop him like Moody had? She shook her head, about to leave.
"Oh wait, Granger," he muttered, grin fading. He frowned, rolling up his left sleeve to display his forearm to her. "I don't want you to be shocked. I was put under cruciatus and imperius and forced to get it last summer," he said quietly, and she looked down, hoping he was spouting nonsense. But there it was, clear as day; the Dark Mark. She gasped, looking away, feeling like she was going to be sick. "I'll understand if you don't want to do this, but it's a part of me that will never go away, no matter my intentions," he said cautiously.
"No, I'll help... just put that away. I am glad you showed me Zabini," she said sincerely, and he smiled at her once again. She figured she needed to get used to seeing Slytherins smile at her, and not just smirk.
"So, how was your break?" he asked after a long silence, and Hermione was thrown off guard.
"Oh, it was alright, it was intense with the training and all," she replied politely, wondering if she should be talking about order business with him, but she assumed it was something he would have known either way. He nodded, looking as if he were left out of something important. "And yours?" she asked, wanting to keep the conversation alive now that it had been sparked.
A few hours later the train shuddered to a halt and both Hermione and Blaise jumped, shocked that the journey had gone so quick. They had spent the entire trip talking, and Hermione was puzzled how well they would be able to talk with each other after having never known each other. Albeit, Blaise had never really seemed as cocky as Draco when he was younger; he was more the silent one, therefore not making nearly as many enemies.
In fact, Hermione found herself wondering how she had not noticed him before. He was an average student, she supposed, he had always just blended in with the rest of the quiet students. And Hermione had never been one for the major social gatherings. Though she couldn't exactly stop herself from blushing when he smiled at her or brought up a particularly funny joke.
"I guess I'll go find Harry and Ron," she said softly and stood to leave. He sighed, following her out of the compartment, stopping in the hallway as she began to walk away. "Do you want to come?" she asked as she turned around and noticed he was alone.
"I doubt I'd be welcome," he grinned. Hermione frowned.
"Then I'll stay with you, I'd hate to leave you alone, even if I have only known you for a few hours," she said and he looked thoroughly taken aback, but said nothing.
Harry and Ron caught up with Hermione later that evening at dinner.
"Where were you on the train after patrol Hermione?" Ron asked curiously.
"Yeah, you said you'd be back in ten minutes," Harry added and Hermione looked away, pretending to be extremely interested in her squash.
"I just met some people I felt like talking to is all, guys," she brushed it off.
"Like who? Everyone you would have wanted to see came by our compartment, and the rest stayed at school over Christmas," Harry said, seemingly puzzled.
"Harry, I can't talk about it now, I promised I wouldn't tell you anything yet," she said quietly, gathering her books. She took one last bite of her meal and left the table before they could ask her anything else. Blaise had told her he would prefer it if Harry and Ron didn't know every detail about him, and she was intent on keeping his current confidentiality.
"How was your dinner, Hermione?" Blaise asked coming out of nowhere, and she spun around, eyes wide.
"Oh it was good... you just scared me a bit there," she muttered, holding her heart.
"Sorry, I'm a bit quiet sometimes," he said distractedly. "What are you doing this evening?"
"I'm not sure yet," she pondered, "I was thinking I'd start that huge charms essay."
"Do you mind if I work with you?" he asked, glancing at the floor.
"Oh not at all, I could use some company actually," she admitted, grinning at him. "It's been quite lonely with Malfoy gone, I have to say. Will you come to our common room in a bit?"
"You know he talks about you a lot," he said out of nowhere, smirking at her.
"Sorry who?" she asked, genuinely confused.
"Draco," Blaise replied simply. "I saw him over break and he was a bit nutty actually."
"You saw him?" she asked sharply, before relaxing sightly. "How is he doing?"
"He's in a bit of a mad war with his father at the moment, but other than that, pretty good. Lucius is obsessed with him getting the Dark Mark before the war. Honestly, I've no clue how he's avoided it this long. He managed to subdue me into getting it," he muttered darkly.
"Lucius did? Why would he be so concerned about whether or not you had the mark and not his own son?" Hermione asked, glancing at him as they continued to walk.
"There are some negative factors to growing up next door to the Malfoy's, Hermione. Lucius seemed to act like he was a second father to me... but he's definitely been trying to force Draco into it for two years now. I think he's just grown immune to the Imperius curse," he laughed coldly.
"A second father?" she asked, curiosity getting the better of her.
"Well yes," he said, sighing. "It's long and complicated and you wouldn't want to hear it."
Hermione raised an eyebrow as she realized their aimless wandering had led to the dungeons.
"Hang on a moment," he said, quickly retreating into the Slytherin common room and returning with his books. He grinned and she laughed spontaneously.
"Anyway, try me," she continued as they began walking back to Hermione's common room.
He smirked. "When I was twelve Lucius and my father were in a bit of an argument I suppose. One that shouldn't have escalated, but it did anyway. Next thing I knew Lucius told You-Know-Who that my parents were unfaithful and a whole load of other bullshit, and he believed him. If there's one thing that Death Eaters value, it's faithfulness. Probably the only thing, actually," he said absently. "So he had them killed," he said simply and Hermione froze in horror.
"He killed your parents?" she asked, eyes wide.
"Unfortunately," Blaise said shortly. "I was visiting family and when I got back... it wasn't a good scene. You might understand how badly I hate Death Eaters a bit more now," he muttered. Hermione figured he was rather composed for someone who had just told the story of their parents' murder.
"I'm sorry, Blaise," she said, glancing over at him.
He shrugged. "It's in the past."
They walked in silence to the Head commons, and worked on their essays quietly. Hermione realized how much his mere presence reminded her of Draco's, and she smiled.