WARNING: Crack alert!
I own no Naruto- sheesh.
It was going to be a multi-chaptered SaiSaku that I wrote ages ago, but I didn't like it, so it's just Sai. Yay.
How to Become Friends with Others.
The title of the book lingered in his mind.
He absorbed everything he read from the book, but he still doesn't get why it's not working- he's not being crowded with acquaintances yet.
But as Sakura said, he just needs to keep trying.
Nicknames based on their characteristics…
He tried that a lot of times, and mostly, he was unsuccessful.
Sakura warned him not to call Chouji a "fatass" ever again, because the results will be unpleasant, so he didn't.
It seemed that "pig" wasn't an appropriate pet name, either, but he found that out the hard way.
So he settled with no pet names for Chouji, "lazy-ass" for Shikamaru, "idiot" for Naruto (per Sakura's recommendation), "smelly mutt" for Kiba, "nondescript" for the nondescript Shino, "no-pupils" for Neji, and "strange eyebrows" for Lee.
He was pretty proud of them. He made them himself.
But Sakura warned him not to use those onesoften.
He'll keep that in mind- his pet names are not to be used often, except for Naruto-baka (also per Sakura's suggestion).
Sakura was being especially helpful for some unknown reason, and kept praising him for the wonderful nicknames he made for her friend Yamanaka Ino (he didn't end up using them, though, but stated the opposite of them instead, however much Sakura disapproved), but it was probably friendship.
He had fewer problems with female nicknames (he's still not going to stop calling Sakura a hag, though, much to her displeasure).
All he had to do was say the opposite of said characteristics, and everything would be fine.
At least it had an 100 percent success-rate with Yamanaka Ino, who kept taking the seat next to him (it was probably friendship as well). It was bound to work on other females, he thought.
He called the Hyuuga heiress "attention-seeking bitch" one day, and it seemed that she was so happy, she ran off as far as she could from him, looking like she was about to shed tears. Of joy, of course.
Ah, the beauty of making friends. Maybe he hasn't got the hang of it yet, but he was improving a lot.