Alors! I have updated. More fuel for Mecha Scorpion's… uh… mechanical, fuel-storage thingy. After much deliberation, I've decided to just leave the lyrics to the song in. Thanks to all for reviews. I do not own Seinfield, Chicago, Michael Jackson, Britney Spears, or her song "I've Got That (Boom, Boom)". And I don't own the Simpsons.

Michael Jackson and Britney Spears own themselves. Seinfield is property of Jerry Seinfield, I should think. As stated above, "I've Got That (Boom, Boom)" belongs to Britney Spears. And, off the top of my head, the Simpsons belongs to Matt Groening. :)

Again, remember, PG10!

Warning: This chapter's PG content includes two examples of explicit lyrics, character death and one sexual innuendo. You have been warned.

Cool Fact #3: "69" is a… okay, nevermind. --#

Eggman vs. Knuckles

"You'll never get away with this, Eggman!" Knuckles shouted, shaking his gigantic fist at the super-sized egghead. He was standing over a floor of thickly meshed metal that threatened to give way at any time. Lava oozed below, and puffs of steam buzzed around his face like Tinkerbell the door-to-door vacuum salesgirl. Other than the floor, which seemed to be glowing, the room was impossibly dim.

"And what makes you say that?" Eggman taunted from inside his big, ugly robot. "I've already got everything you cared about, don't I? Rouge, the Emerald, and the deed to Angel Island." Eggman smirked. "Yup, I'd say that I've finally done something right for a change."

"You tell him, honey!" Rouge cheered. Eggman smiled.

"I will, dear!" Eggman turned back to the orange echidna. "So, we do you still wanna resist me, huh Knucklehead?"

"That wasn't a grammatically correct sentence," the echidna considered.

"Oh, hush. Do you still want to resist me? You can't possibly win!" Eggman laughed, his chins bouncing uproariously.

"Do you really wanna know, Egghead?" Knuckles menaced. The tremendously fat man paused, and thought this over.

"Well, sure! That would be great! What do you think, honey?" Eggman turned to Rouge. Rouge, who had been gazing innocently/sadly at Knuckles while her husband wasn't looking, turned to the gigantic egghead.

Her lip trembled, and tears sprang to her eyes.

"Oh, Eggman!" Rouge ran over and hugged his leg tightly, as she couldn't even dream of actually hugging him around the waist. Knuckles' jaw dropped. What did she see in that guy? Well, actually, that was obvious; he suspected that the sparkling ring she had on her finger was made of a small shard of the real Master Emerald. If that was true, he had to defeat Eggman and gather the rest of it. Then he could deal with his double-crossing girlfriend.

Knuckles set his jaw tight, and looked at Eggman with an expression so grim, so serious, that somewhere out there an aspiring author writing an OOC fan fiction with a silly Knuckles just stopped and gave up.

"Okay, Eggman. Here we go." Knuckles cracked his knuckles, and suddenly the lights when dim and a purple spotlight washed over him. Then a white one. Then suddenly, a dozen girls in frilly, purple bikinis with blue-and-white polka dots appeared behind him – along with one random man in a speedo. He was later identified as Jerry Seinfield.

The girls then opened their eyes. All of them were blue-eyed and blonde. They sang, in eerie unison:

"He had it comin'! He had it comin'! He only had himself to blame!" They stepped forward two steps, clacking their tap shoes against the floor loudly.

"If you had been there! If you had seen it! I betchu you would've done the same!"

Knuckles looked at them, alarmed. "No, no, ladies! This isn't that! This is the OTHER song! Song 69!"

"69?" somebody asked.

"Yeah, 69," another girl answered.

"Ooh, how great! I love 69!" another very enthused girl cheered. Knuckles smiled.

"Okay, ladies, here we go!"

Jerry Seinfeld opened his mouth wide, and shouted:

"Shorty! We gonna go to the club and get crunk with Britney! Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Ying Yang, Ya Who? Britney."

Knuckles looked irate at the name mix-up. "It's KNUCKLES!" he shouted.

"SHORTY! She think she fine, fine enough to blow your mind. Shorty! She think she bad. Get on the floor and shake dat ass, Shorty! She think she fine, fine enough to blow your mind. Shorty! She think she bad. Get on the floor and shake dat ass!"

Knuckles then puts on a cowboy hat. I would say that it was THE hat, from the movie, but I have sadly never seen it.

"That's not cool."

Don't I know it.

Knuckles then declared, "Yeah, this is for all the southern gals out there. Check this out."

"Oh, she's a guy? Oops. I guess that was a faux-pas," Seinfeld twittered.

Knuckles then started to do the Cha Cha Slide while singing, "I see you looking my way, and I know that you have something to say. Watching every inch of my body, like you wanted to PLAY! So here we go! Boom, boom, girl you look so sezy, boom, boom, girl you look so sezy--"

"Sezy?" Eggman inquired inquisitively. Knuckles stopped and looked flustered.

"Just deal with it," he recommended. "I'm gonna say that a lot."

"Oh, okay." Eggman resumed watching Knuckles make a fool of his'self.

Knuckles did the moonwalk. "I begin to dance, just a little bit... to turn you on. (Yeah, I got that!)" Knuckles struck a pose, and then shook his hips, singing:

"I got that BOOM, BOOM, that you want. Watching me all night long hurry up before it's gone I got that BOOM, BOOM that you want. I don't think you should wait one minute might be too late."

"WAIT A SECOND!" Eggman roared. Knuckles stopped doing the moonwalk.

"Yes?" he asked, feigning niescence, a sweet, angelic smile playing on his falsely innocent echidna face.

"So you're telling me that the reason MY plan can't fail is because YOU can imitate Michael Jackson?" Eggman put his hands on his abnormally large hips.

"And Britney Spears," Knuckles made a point of pointing out. "And I can do the Cha Cha Slide to boot! At the same time even!"

"Hm, I suppose you're right," Eggman said, rubbing his chin. "That is pretty powerful…" Then he grinned wickedly. "But I can imitate… Dr. Frankenstein! Muahaha, Muahaha, MUAHAHAHA!"

"Heeheeheeheehee!" Rouge cackled impishly.

"MUAHAHAHAHA!"

"HEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!" Eggman imitated the wicked witch of the West.

"HOHOHOHOHO!" Rouge imitated Kodachi Kuno.

"Ha-ha!" Knuckles said, imitating that kid from the Simpsons. Eggman and Rouge stopped.

"Why on Earth are you laughing?" Eggman said, openly perturbed. "I just announced that I am going to kill you."

"But you're going to use my dead body parts to make zombies. That's cool," Knuckles grinned. Eggman face faulted.

"Yes, I suppose so…"

Rouge, the expert jewel thief and spy, shook her head.

"Boys," she lamented scornfully, and wrapped her black wings tighter around her in an attempt to get warm in the chilly room. Just imagining that creep Michael Jackson left her with goosebumps all over. Ick.

Knuckles grinned goofily. "Well, see ya!" He turned to run, but there were large, shiny robots surrounding him.

"Oh crud." Knuckles gulped, knowing he was doomed.

"Sayonara, Knuckles, the echidna! Muahahahahahahahahaaaa!" Eggman pressed a large red button that said "Do Not Push" just netherward of it. One of the huge, white robots grabbed Knuckles left arm. Another one grabbed his right.

"Hey! What the—" Knuckles strained his arms trying to get loose. "It's too strong!" he narrated. "I can't get free!"

Eggman smirked evilly. "Oh, good! I was wondering whether you could break free or not. If you were able to, I was going to have those robots let go of you momentarily so I could get bigger robots to come and grab you. I guess you could've escaped during that time, though, so it's a good thing you told me you couldn't get free!" He coughed. "I mean, that's right, Knuckles. And as soon as I pull this switch… you'll never see daylight again! Wa ha ha ha ha!"

Eggman used his machine to jump to safety, just as he pressed the button. The floor slid open, revealing the hot magma below. "Wa ha ha ha ha!" he laughed. Rouge, startled, fluttered up to join him.

"Hey you big idiot! You didn't even warn me!" She kicked his robot body with the toe of her boot. "Ouch!"

"Sorry, dear," Eggman apologized.

The white robots' arms protruded further out from their bodies, lengthening, as they flew to the sides of the room. Soon Knuckles was left dangling in the middle of the room, hoping for once that the robots would never let go.

"No!" he screamed like a child who was just told he couldn't receive a certain toy from Toys 'R' Us. "No no no no no no no!"

--

o.o;