Cool Fact #6: "Mascara" is actually a verb. Mascara, mascaraed, mascaras, mascaraing. Yup, it's all true. Try it out.
I don't own Sonic the Hedgehog (owned by SEGA) or the movie SUPERNOVA, and I do NOT own the noodle dance. Or Spongebob Squarepants. Yu-Gi-Oh (Kazuki Takahashi) Heero Yuy, Yu Yu Hakusho, and Futerama (I love you Matt Groening) also do not belong to me.
Snively is from the Sonic Archie Comics, Herb is my character, and the queen of France likes cheese. So now! You SHALL read on!
Sexual innuendos and oatmeal cookies. You've been warned, brudda.
"Now, if I wanted to mascara, where would I go?" Sonic asked himself, racing past a Victoria's Secret store. Next to the store was a large billboard with a picture of a human mascaraing herself, with large white letters proclaiming "COME HERE, STUPID". Sonic rushed right past it and about twenty other signs saying various things from "Come hither" to "Right over here, bad boy" and "Thataway".
"Hmm… I dunno!" Sonic wailed, "I'm so conf00zled!" Suddenly, Sonic heard a mysterious voice wailing… or at least he thought it did. Sonic tensed; it was hard to hear anything over the rushing of the wind going past his ears at like a bajillion miles an hour.
"Swowdowww…" the voice moaned.
"WHAT?" Sonic screamed. The voice sweat dropped, if such a thing is possible.
"Swoooow doooow!"
"WHAT?"
"SWOW DOWN STUPID!"
"Huh?"
"Sonic Ramses Albert T. Hedgehog II, slow the heck down!" Amy Rose screeched. Sonic skidded to a halt just in front of her.
"Yes my sweet?" Sonic asked, gesticulating intricately with his hands. "My fragrant flower? My blossom? My peach pie? My Spongebob? My—"
"Shut up, would you?" Amy glared at him.
"But Amy!" Sonic wondered amazedly, "how in the world did you get here?"
"I'd rather not say," Amy said airily with a flair. She said it flairily! XD Okay, bad joke, I know. LOL!
…
Bwahaha!
…
"Why would you rather not say?" Sonic inquired, still gesticulating rapidly with his hands. He was… translating everything he said into sign language, so that the old lady next to them that looked like she was either sleeping or dead could understand. (Sweat drop. O.o;;) The old lady gave him a thumbs up.
"Because… I just shouldn't!" Amy turned around, sticking her nose in the air. "My fiancé, Herb Ivoré IV, wouldn't like it if I talked to other guys. …Now, wait, actually, that's just me," Amy realized, startled, and she turned around to Sonic and blurted, "I'mworkingforthegovernmentonasecretmission."
"WHAT?"
"I'm working for the government on a secret mission," Amy said against calmly, her face expressionless.
"WHAAAAAT?"
"I'M WORKING FOR THE GOVERNMENT!"
"On a secret mission!" the old lady next to them pointed out. Amy Rose sweat dropped.
"Oops, hehe, you weren't supposed to hear that."
"Half the town heard you, honey."
"Oh. Dang."
"That's okay, honey. Here, have a cookie." The nice little old lady whipped out a pan full of fresh, nice-smelling oatmeal cookies. "Well heck, have a dozen, if you'd like!"
"Thanks!" Amy smiled appreciatively and grabbed one.
"No thanks," Sonic said abstinently.
"Awww, but they're gooooood," the old lady pleaded, waving them in front of his face. o.O It's a wonder that the cookies didn't fall off the sheet! Sonic hesitated, and then changed his mind. "Okay!"
The blue blur of Mobius reached for one, too, until the odor of the cookies wafted into his nose.
"AAAAAGH! OATMEAAAAL!" Sonic screamed. He grabbed Amy and ran at super sonic speed down the street.
"SoniIIIiiiiIIIIiiiic!" Amy screamed.
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?" Sonic screeched back, annoyed. As he turned his head around so he could look at her, going still at breakneck speed, a ton of GUN robots popped out of the bushes.
"SAVE THE WHALES!" the all cheered rather happily. "Wooooohooooooo!"
"oO;; Are they high?" Amy asked.
"The world may never know," Sonic said mysterious. "Now, let's go, babe!"
Suddenly, the robots got very angry.
"What? You don't WANNA save the whales?" one of them demanded.
"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?" another one screamed. "(Hiccup!)"
"Oi," Sonic said, slapping his forehead, and then, "owch." He grabbed Amy's hand. "Come on, Amy!" Then he ran down the street.
STAGE 01: DOMINO STREET
MISSION: FIND YUGI MOTOU!
"o.O; Nani?"
"Well, this is just great!" Amy quipped.
"I'm ecstatic," Sonic replied dryly. He was now carrying Amy, and, in an attempt to make it look less PDA-ish, was holding her high above his head.
And his arms were TIRED, dang it!
"Surrender! In the name of pie!" a G.U.N. robot screamed.
"No way!" Sonic said. He then ran through an question mark.
"Maybe we should distract them before we attack!" Amy suggested.
"I'm on it!" Sonic declared. "Just leave it to me!" (Sonic Heroes Quote #1)
"Hey!" Sonic suddenly skidded to a stop, nearly tossing Amy into the wind. ("Whoa!" Amy shouted, waving her arms around wildly in the air, her legs dangling.) Sonic caught her swiftly and then turned around quickly, all at supersonic speed – thus the words swift and quick.
"Hey, I've been wonderin'!" Sonic explained. "Are you guys just robots, or humans in robots? You're humans inside those machines, aren't you?"
All of the robots stopped and got in thinking poses.
"Hmmmm…."
"Zzzzz…."
"Duhhh…"
"Noodle! Use your noodle! Noodle! Do the noodle dance!" One robot danced clunkily along with the lyrics of the beloved song. He looked just like a miniature version of Heero Yuy's Gundam Suit. (don't know the name of it, can't somebody please tell me: Please)
"D'OH!" The head robot screamed, "GET THEM, YOU IDIOTS!"
"You don't have a snowballs chance in heck, me matey!" Sonic said, taking out a pirate sword and putting on an eyepatch. He then threw the sword to one side, and used the homing attack to defeat all of the gun robots.
"Grr… but you won't take me down!" the head robot snarled.
"Oh yeah?" Sonic said. "We'll see about that, bub!" Sonic then ran towards the robot, but it then took out a gigantic light saber!
"HA HA HAAA! Let's see you take on THIS!" the human inside the machine/the robot/remote control operated thingamajig proclaimed, cocking his sword to one side.
"O.O;; Oh man…. What to do, what to do?" Sonic hastily ran through a different question mark. (The question marks, if you haven't guessed already, are from Sonic Heroes.)
"It's not nice to tease my friends!" a voice rang out clearly.
"Huh?" Sonic screamed for absolutely no reason whatsoever.
"Heeeya!" A huge, shadowy form belly-dropped on top of the head G.U.N. machine. "Feels great!" Sonic and Amy gaped at the figure, Sonic's lower lip twitching slightly. Then the huge figure pushed himself up with a groan and waddled away.
"…Huh?" Sonic started to say something else, but his sexy preteen goddess, Amy, grabbed his hand and dragged him away. The next thing he knew, he smelled something odd…
"Chlorofoam," he started to say, but his vision was fuzzy. "Uhh….review all of Sour Schuyler's stories, please." Then he fainted.
Your attention…
I like apple cobbler. And so does Sonic. Coincedence? Prob-ly so!
Hm, well that sucked. I should fire the author. Oh wait, that's me.
"So, Shadow," Tails said, slowly making a house of cards, "what was it like living up in ARK?"
"Fun!" Shadow said, doing lots of flips over a metal bar that just happened to be in the middle of the messy living room. It looked like a magazine rack had exploded in there. "There was always lots of fun things to do! Like being breast-fed from a bottle! No wait, not that, that's notpossible… And dancing in the no-Gravity zone!"
"Like in the movie Supernova?" Tails asked, suddenly interested.
"Precisely!" Shadow affirmed.
"Cool!" Tails went back to creating a life-size model of the Empire state building built out of Tinker Toys, blatantly ignoring the fact that Shadow had just said something way out of character, and that he had said 'cool' even though Supernova was a sucky movie.
"Hey wait a second," Shadow considered. "That was a sucky movie…"
"Oh yeah!" Tails agreed.
:) There we go Shadow. There we go.
Back where things are at least remotely interesting… I hope…
Rouge was bored. The sleek, white jewel thief skimmed through some Yu Yu Hakusho fan fictions featuring Hiei/Kurama slash, and/or shounen-ai, whatever you like to call it. She yawned out of boredom. The story she reading wasn't very good, and she was in need of some excitement.
"Ma'am!" Rouge turned around to see OMEGA and DELTA.
"What is it, 'Meggy?" Rouge asked sweetly, smiling at her compatriots. DELTA sniggered at his comrade's nickname, so OMEGA promptly and maliciously knocked him over.
"We have received word that Agent Amy Rose is heading this way! As an enemy agent, it is your duty to ''take her out''!"
"To dinner?" asked Rouge, quite surprised. "You do realize that I'm not quite that way, don't you? After all, I'm married now, so wouldn't that technically be illegal? Not to mention illicit."
"Yes, ma'am. Take out — code wording for kill, also an idiom — Amy Rose, or else there may be dire consequences," OMEGA told her. DELTA got back up and tried to push OMEGA over, but the larger robot stepped on him. "HA, HA HA, HA HA HA! Worthless consumer models!" (Sonic Heroes Quote #4 Where were the others ones? Figure it out!)
"Oh, okay." Rouge stood up and left.
…………….DELTA and OMEGA started making out as best they could. It ending up looking like something from Futerama, with sparks flying everywhere. Then Dr. Eggman entered the room.
"OO WHAT THE HECK?" Dr. Eggman's jaw dropped. "I didn't program you two to do that!"
"Um…" DELTA said in a robotic voice. Imagine a robot saying this: "Am I going to die now?"
"Sir," OMEGA began to explain, "we were merely trying to make our skin creamy smooth by rubbing off all of the dead skin cells."
"Oh! Okay then!" The bloated buffoon left the room. The stainless steel automatic door closed. OMEGA pressed a big, blue button, and jails bars fell in front of the door. Him and DELTA then went back to making out.
Eggman strolled boredly down the hall… then it hit him.
"Ow!" Eggman picked up the rock and threw it back at Snively. "SNIVELY! You better be careful, or you're toast."
"Yes sir," said the scrawny villain from the Archie Comics. "It—it won't happen again sir, I can asseverate to you sir!"
"Asseverate?" Eggman frowned. "Are you hitting on me?"
"No; I meant I can assure you it won't happen again."
"Oh. Whatever, Snively, just listen up. Now, our next mission is… Hey, wait! ROBOTS DON'T HAVE SKIN!"
"Hee hee hee," Delta laughed at his creator back in the room. Omega laughed along with him. They then went to a place labeled 'SPA'.
OO Um… how about a scene that's a little less interesting than that?
"Thanks, Rodney," the old lady who had given Sonic and Amy cookies cackled, "they'll never know what hit them… Mwee hee hee!"
"You're welcome ma'am!" a benign Omochao thanked her, "but my name's not Rodney!"
The old woman peered down the street to see Amy and Sonic. The two of them were fleeing down an alley. Sonic was leading the way, untiiiiiiiiiiil Amy took out a copper pipe and knocked him upside the head with it.
". Owch…" Sonic twitched, twitched. Amy looked up and grinned at you cheesily, running a hand through her fluffy, pink hair.
"Remember, kids, lead pipes are illegal! Use copper instead!" Amy then swishes her hair. "Swish, swish!" (Inside Joke #1 )
"Birdies always say," Sonic moaned, before passing out. Amy grabbed his limp body by the arm. "Come on!" She dragged him down a dirty alley, giving him numerous cuts from a myriad of glass bottles and cat claws attached to sleeping cats. >. Ooh.
Soon she dragged him into a room. Amy slammed the thick wooden door shut. The door, it was like something out of Shrek – slabs, sticking out at the top and bottom, and looking all wet. A large metal bar bolted them all together, and yet the door still looked really flimsy. The door slammed with a SLAM! But you obviously already knew that.
"Darn you Sonic," she whispered menacingly. "Wake up!" Amy started to roughly shake him. "Wake, up, dangit!"
"Oh ow wow ow wow ow wow ow!" Sonic shouted, "Amy, stop!"
And so she did, and it was good. (Bible rip-off. Don't tell God!)
"Quiet, moron!" she commanded him. She dropped Sonic to the ground, and he landed firmly on his butt.
"Hey!"
"Shut up!" Amy whispered heatedly. "Now, listen up and listen good. Make these next few words indelible in your mind, okay?" Sonic raised his hand, causing the fluffy, pink hedgehog to sigh exasperatedly. "What, Sonic?"
"What's indelible mean?" Sonic asked curiously. Amy slapped him hard. "OW!"
"It means just don't forget what I'm saying okay?" Amy took a deep breath. "Now, Sonic."
"Yes?"
"Sonic!"
"YES?"
"SONIC!"
"YES!" Sonic shouted, "YES! YES! YES!"
Amy sweatdropped. "Uh…"
"YEEEEEEEEEESSSSS!"
"SONIC!" Amy slapped him so hard his future kids felt it.
"What was that?" they wondered. "A mosquito? Geez!"
"WHAAAAAT?" Sonic screamed. Amy eyed him critically.
"Shut up, Sonic Ramses Albert T. Hedgehog II!" Amy shouted harshly. "Just shut up, would you? Now listen! The whole reason I'm a secret agent is so I can get into F.A.T.!"
"But Amy," Sonic said conf00zledly, "you're not fat—"
"Damn right I'm not!" Amy gave Sonic a particularly nasty glare. Our hero cowered. --;; Oh wow. The people of Mobius must feel soooo safe, placing their fate in the hands of one who's afraid of girls. "If you called me fat I'd do this!" Amy pulled a cord and promptly blew up.