Crack Fic #4: OMG! BOOBIES! or, The Boobie Curse!
Disclaimer: I truly don't own Naruto. So, if your dumb enough to beleive I do, go ahead and #& yourself.
It was a nice morning in Kono-...oh, forget about it. The sky was dark, thunder roared, and it was basically one $$-uped day. Gaara was still crashing at the Haruno residence, and was pacing in circles around the room.
Gaara: Good Lord, I'm bored. Hmm...what to do?
Outside it began pouring rain. Then, he came up with a brilliant idea.
Gaara: I'll have Sakura throw one of those "sleepovers". That should be entertaining.
Meanwhile...
Mentos Guy: MENTOS! I DEMAND MENTOS!
Meanwhile...
Jack Sparrow: Alright you scurvy dogs, fire at will!
BOOM!
Will: --
Jack: Heh-heh, sorry about that!
Meanwhile...back to the story...
Sakura: So, let me get this straight: You want me to throw a sleepover...because your're BORED?
Gaara: Yes.
Sakura: Alright, why not...(picks up phone)
Meanwhile, at the (enormously huge) Hyuga Complex, Neji is chatting online with Tenten and Lee, Hinata is busy writing in her diary(wonder what it could be this time), and for some odd reason, Temari and Kankuro were crashing at their place.
Ringringring!
Neji: Hinata, get the phone!
Hinata: Yes, Neji-nii-San. (picks up phone) Hello?
Sakura: Hi, Hinata! I was wondering if you could come over tonight.
Hinata: Alright, I'll ask my dad. Hanabi?
Hanabi: Yes, Hinata?
Hinata: Can you please ask father if I can go over to Sakura's house?
Hanabi: Alright, Hinata. Father! Can Hinata go over to the Haruno residence for the night?
Hanashi: Yes, but as long as Neji goes!
Hanabi: Father said yes, but you have to bring Neji with you.
Hinata: Alright. Sakura I'll be over there in about 10 minutes, k'?
Sakura: Alright. Bring Temari also!
Hinata: Alright. See you later! (put's phone down)
And so, the night was set.
Meanwhile, at the Yamanaka flower shop...
Guy standing outside: YOU! YES, YOU! YOU MUST BE RICHARD DE GUILLAUME! AND YOU, (point's at Ino) YOU MUST BE ROMERA BLOVSKI THE 8TH!
Ino: Uh, dude, why are you here?
Guy: Why, to sell monkey-poo brand lemonade, of course! You! Have this! It be free gift!
The guy handed Ino a female tiki figure with really large breasts.
Ino: Eh...thank, you?
Later, at Sakura's hose...
Hinata, Neji, and Temari were first to arrive. Tenten heard about it with a conversation with Neji, and decided to go to. Ino's sleepover-senses went off, and she immediately ran towards Sakura's house. Everyone was congregated, and Sakura came up with the same brilliant plan as before: Spin the Bottle.
Neji: Oh, no...not THAT again...
Sakura: Aw, c'mon, Neji!
Neji: I hate life...
Sakura: I go first! (spins bottle). Okay...Gaara! Truth or Dare?
Gaara: ...
Sakura: Well?
Gaara: Truth.
Sakura: Alright then...is that eyeliner you always have around your eyes?
Gaara: No. It's caused by the demon inside of me. A better question: are those marks on Naruto's face whiskers, or are they marks like mine?
Sakura: Hmm...good point...
Ino: Alright, my turn! (spins bottle). Ooo, Neji, truth or dare?
Neji: Truth.
Ino: Alright: if you could, would you makeout with Tenten right at this moment?
Neji: --
Ino: Well?
Neji: Err...hmm...yes.
Everybody: Giggles
Gaara: My turn. (spins bottle) Hmm...Hinata...truth or dare.
Hinata: Uh...t-truth?
Gaara: Alright: tell everyone here about your "dreams".
Hinata: Wha, what?
Gaara: Oh, you know: "bondage"...
Everyone: (stares at Hinata)
Hinata: W-w-well, heh heh, umm...
Guy outside: MENTOS! WHERE ARE MY MENTOS! (throws brick through window, lands on Hinata's head)
Hinata: (passes out) A.N.: She seems to pass out alot, don't she?
Neji: How dare you harm Hinata-Sama! (jumps out window to pursue Mr. Mentos)
Temari: Well, that was pretty...awkward. Oh, wait! It's my turn now! (spins bottle) Alright, Ino, truth or dare?
Ino: I'm ready for any dare you might give me!
Temari: Alright, then: Read us passages from your diary.
Ino: WHAT?
Temari: You said you were ready for anything?
Ino: Um, uh...
Gaara: My God, what horrible thing is it going to be THIS time. Temari's the only sane women here.
Ino: Uh, alright:
Monday (two days ago): Dear diary,
I dreamed something really weird last night. I dreamed that I was kissing Sasuke. But then,
Gaara: Oh my God, here it comes...
Ino: , Sasuke turned into that annoying Naruto!
Everybody: GASP!
Ino: And then, Shikamaru!
Eveybody: EEK!
Ino: Then Neji!
Neji: What? (Neji has just come back after beating the $#! out of the Mento's guy. Poor Mr. Mento:( )
Ino: And then...Sakura.
Sakura: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Ino: And strangely, I enjoyed the part with Sakura-Chan.
Everybody: 00
Neji: 0o
Sakura: OO
Gaara: GAAH! WHY ARN"T ANY OF YOU SANE?
Ino: Uh, eh, uh, he-he... YOUR TURN NEJI!
Neji: Alright (spins da' bottle)
Sakura: Well?
Neji: ... (bottle landed on Tenten)
Crickits>
Neji: Uh, Ten...eh...truth or...dare?
Tenten: Dare!
Neji: Uh, I dare you to...(confidence all of the sudden comes back full force) sleep over at my place tonight!
Everybody: OOOOOOOOO!
Tenten: Alright! After the party?
Neji: EXACTLY after. (evil, perverted smirk.OMG, didn't know he could do that :O)
Naruto: Hey, guys! Can I join!
Sakura: Alright, Naruto!
Naruto: Hey, is Hinata alright? (put's hand on Hinata's head)
Hinata: (wakes up) Wha...N-Naruto-Kun?
If it weren't for the fact that Hinata was given a Rockstar as soon as she woke up, she would of fainted...again.
Tenten: Hey, Hinata, it's your turn!
Hinata: Um, a-alright...(spins bottle) GULP.
She spun, and it landed at Naruto.
Hinata: Oh, my God, o, my God, o, my God, OMYGOD! What should I do? What should I say?
Naruto: Uh, Hinata, your turning red again. (put's hand on her head) And your starting to get warm.
Hinata: Uh, uh, um, eh, uh, t-truth o-or dare, N-aruto-K-kun? (poor girl. Stuttering more than usual)
Naruto: Uh...I'll go with dare! A Hokage must be ready for anything!
Hinata: Um, y-yeah, um...I d-dare you to...uh...hmm...
Neji: Hinata-Sama? Are you feeling well? Should I take you home?
Hinata: U-um, I-I, dare y-you to...k-kiss...m-me?
Everybody: oo
Naruto: Um, alright. (kisses her)
>Immaculate Chorus : HALLELUJAH!
Hinata: Oh, my God! I can't beleive Naruto just kissed me! His breath smells like Mint!
Mentos Guy: So, THAT'S WHERE MY MENTOS WENT! (throws brick at Naruto, hit's him first THEN Hinata)
Naru&Hina: KO
Neji: THAT'S IT! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU THIS TIME! (jumps out window)
Everybody: silence
Ino: Uh, well, I found this very strange thing today. (pulls out big-hootie Tiki)
Gaara: What IS that?
Ino: I have absolutely NO IDEA. Want to touch it?
Gaara: WAIT! Last time anyone here touched a strange Tiki, something bad happened. I'm not going to touch it if my life DEPENDED on it.
Tenten: Well, back to the game! (spins bottle) Gaara...(evil smirk)
Gaara: Oh, please...NO...
Tenten: Touch the Tiki with the big hooties!
Gaara: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Tenten: Go on, do it!
Gaara: I'm not going to like how this turn's out (touches tiki). Alright, that's done with, and now we can...wait a second, Tenten?
Tenten: Yes, Gaara?
Gaara: May I touch your boobies?
Everyone: OO
Gaara: How about you, Sakura? Or you, Ino?
Everyone: OO
Gaara: Temari?
Temari: Dude, do you have any idea how wrong that was!
Gaara: Anyway...may I still touch your boobies?
Temari: Um, Gaara, may I please remind you that I'm your SISTER?
Gaara: Me no care. Me just want boobies! Hmm...Hinata's unconscious...hmm...(A.N.:OMG, RAPE!)
Sakura: Okee-dokee then, everyone protect Hinata, NOW.
Gaara uses sand to get Hinata closer to him. Just as he was about to touch her boobies, she woke up.
Hinata: G-gaara-San, w-what are you doing?
Ino: (smashes Tiki)
Gaara: Hmm, wha...what's happening? Why am I touching Hinata's breasts?
Hinata: WHAT THE...!(faints. poor Hinata :( )
Guy from earlier: WHAT! YOU SMASH FREE GIFT? I KILL NOW! (throws mackeral)
Tenten: HOLY MACKERAL!
Temari: Why, I beleive your right!
Ino: KO
GFE: HAH! Take THAT, Romera Blovsky!
And with that, the night returned to normal. Well, at least it was more normal than the rest of the night was. Neji and Tenten went back to his place, and did, um, STUFF, if you know what I mean. Hinata had perhaps the best moment of her life, Naruto was knocked out cold from the brick, and the only remaing members of the sleepover were Sakura and Temari.
Sakura: This is the LAST time I throw a sleepover because your bored!
Gaara: ...
END
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