Resident Parody 4

Chapter 2-3

By BahamutZERO

Ashley: I still think we should've taken the right path, Leon.

Leon: I'm the leader, so I get to decide. Besides, I hate those damn giants. Every time they pick you up, I have to fuckin' shoot them to make them put you down! It's annoying! At least by taking the left path, you can hide in one of those dumpsters the whole time, and then I get to the door and realize I left you in the dumpster so I whistle and it takes you a billion years to get over to where I am, and then I wonder what the hell is taking you so long and it turns out you're standing at the top of a ledge somewhere because you lack the ability to climb down a stupid ladder, so I have to go back and catch you, and then we have to run all the way back to the door again.

Ashley: ...

Leon: ...Chainsaw bitches: hide.

(Leon blows them all away and proceeds to the door)

Leon: SHIT! I forgot Ashley. (whistles)...Hmmm... Oh, yeah, that's right. (goes to a platform where Ashley is standing)

Ashley: Help, Leon!

Leon: Just climb down the ladder!

Ashley: I can't!

Leon: Why not?

Ashley: I really don't know, just press A to CATCH me!

Leon: Bitch... but still hot.

(they proceed onwards to the warehouse)

Leon: Hide, hotness. I'll go deal with the big cheese.

(Leon enters the warehouse. A giant cheese wedge appears behind him and smacks him)

Leon: Ow, son of a bitch! (spots the explosive barrel) Ha! Ghasvta lugio!

Mendez: ...Hasta luego?

Leon: Yeah, whatever! (shoots)

K-BOOM!

Ashley: Leon! Are you alright?

Leon: Yeah, fine. Want a grilled cheese sandwich? It's yummy!

Ashley: Ick! Can we go now?

Leon: Whatever... (dives out of the warehouse) You're hot. Let's go.

(they proceed to the castle)

Ashley: Look out, there's a truck coming!

Leon: No problem. (snipes the driver and truck falls over)

Leon: ...Um...

Ashley: What?

Leon: Just follow me. Walk up the slope backwards and don't take your eyes off the truck.

Ashley: Huh?

Leon: Just do it, hot stuff!

(they walk up the slope backwards. Ashley blinks and 10 millions Ganados appear)

Leon: Dammit, Ashley!

Ashley: Well, maybe if you had explained!

(they run into the castle)

Next up: Chapter 3-1