Resident Parody 4
By BahamutZERO
Chapter 3-1
(Leon and Ashley have entered the castle. Cue radio)
Hunnigan: Leon, where are you?
Leon: We've taken shelter in a castle. They must not get many visitors because they're giving me one hell of a welcome.
Hunnigan: Hmm... Well, I've got an idea-
Leon: Send me a naked photo?
Hunnigan: Wha...?
Leon: Photo, you, nude, send, me.
Hunnigan: Stop being such a pervert! Even if I did have a naked photo of myself, how am I supposed to send it to you over the radio?
Leon: ...you sent me a playing manual over the radio.
Hunnigan: ...
Leon: ...
BEOOP
(Leon and Ashley start running around the castle until they come to an open spot)
Luis: Leon!
Leon: Luis!
Luis: I've got something for you guys!...oh, shit, I must have dropped it when I was rubbing one off... I mean, when I was running from them.
Leon: Dropped what?
Luis: A drug that will stop your convulsions. You've both been coughing up blood, right?
Leon: Yeah.
Luis: And you?
Ashley: Yes.
Luis: In two places, right?
Ashley: What are you talking about?
Luis: You know what I mean... during that time of the month...
Ashley: Are you talking about menstruation, asshole?
Luis: THAT'S THE ONE! AH-HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Leon: Good one, Luis!
Ashley: ...
Luis: Anyway, the eggs have hatched... especially YOUR egg! WAH-HAHAHHAAHAH!
(Leon and Luis hit the floor laughing)
Ashley: GROW UP, YOU IDIOTS!
Leon: ...
Luis: ...Okay, I'll go back and get it.
Leon: Wait, Ashley, you stay with me.
Ashley: ...I didn't say anything.
Leon: Good... I mean... Ergh... you're hot.
(Leon and Ashley run around some more until they find Salazar)
Salazar: Hee hee hee! Welcome Mr. Scott. I am Ramon Salazar, eigth castellan of this fine architecture. I see that you are becoming one of our fellow brothers. Why don't you simply give up and become our hostage?
Leon: No thanks, bro... God, cheesy as hell.
Ashley: No kidding.
Salazar: Or you can just die, because you're not worth a penny, I'm afraid.
Leon: Peseta.
Salazar: Euro, actually. This game is supposed to take place in 2004, and by that time, the euro was accepted as the currency for all of Europe.
Leon: ...Oh.
Salazar: Yeah...
Ashley: Hmm...
Leon: Uhhh...
Salazar: I...
Leon: Hot...
Ashley: Me?
Leon: Of course, you.
Salazar: I'm leaving...
Leon: Bye.
Ashley: I'm never turning into one of them, never!
Leon: You got that right. We'll find a cure. And then I'll-
Ashley: Do me in the ass, I know.
(Leon and Ashley arrive at a big room with a big corridor)
Ashley: (coughing) Ugh...
Leon: Are you alright?
Ashley: I'm fine, leave me alone!
Leon: WAIT!
(a trap spring and Ashley is captured)
Leon: DAMMIT! DAMMIT! DAMMIT! Just hold on, Ashley, I'm coming for you!...Heh... come...
Next: Chapter 3-2