Chapter 4: Ghosts

Tenten had always naturally been a fierce, hot blooded girl; time passed, seasons changed and she had grown into a fierce, hot blooded woman.

It wasn't that she had a weak mind – far from it. Yet Tenten was a woman of instinct, of impulse, governed by the quickening pace of the blood burning in her veins and it showed in nearly everything she did – in the way the way her fingers deftly played with razor sharp steel in the heat of battle, the way she would launch herself spinning into the air, swirling scrolls fluttering gloriously by her side– the way she loved her precious people - violently, but with a subtle undercurrent of tenderness hidden behind a somewhat gruff exterior.

Tenten was aware of her nature and had sought to control it. Years with Neji had taught her the invaluableness of reining in her emotions, of detaching herself temporarily from the raging sentiments that would surge across her mind like flashes of fire, when her raw nerves burned and adrenaline coursed through her body. Mind over heart, always, Neji had told her once. Tenten had nodded solemnly, determined to be the cold, dedicated shinobi Neji was. Mind over heart, because she was going to be an incredible kunoichi, and because Neji said so.

That had all changed, naturally, when Tenten found herself suddenly tugged by the wrist into the arms of the scowling Hyuuga, moments after she had barely escaped being stabbed through by an enemy-nin on a particularly dangerous mission sometime after the Chuunin exams. They had successfully completed their assigned assassination and had been on their way back to Konoha, speeding through the dense forest, when they were ambushed; not a serious problem usually, but it was darkening already and Tenten had misjudged the skills of one of the younger nin. Ignoring Neji's instructions to stay close by his side, she had broken away from the main battle to fight one on one with him, only to find herself almost instantly overpowered...

The nin was by then sprawled bloodied and dying at the edge of her line of vision – but that didn't matter at all, Tenten decided, because at that moment Neji was holding her a little too tightly, arms wrapped around her shoulders and his cheek burning and hot against her own.

"Idiot girl," he muttered darkly into her ear, breath lightly tickling the nape of her neck. Tenten was surprised at how worried he sounded and how she could feel his heart beating, hard, an erratic rhythm against her chest. "You could have died."

"I'm sorry, Neji," she apologized hesitantly, still thrown off by their sudden proximity. The remaining sunlight slanted through the treetops, dappling them in a soft, golden hue. She watched his shoulders rise and fall, noting the lean planes of his back and resisting the urge to run her fingers over the gentle dip of his spine.

"That's not good enough." His voice was harsh, angry, and Tenten's eyes widened when his arms tightened around her, drawing her even closer. "You were foolish to risk yourself that way. You should have called for my help sooner – if I hadn't been able to reach you in time, what would have happened then?"

She did not – could not – answer; he held her against him for a long, breathless moment and Tenten could have sworn that he was shaking if she hadn't known better. Neji never trembled. Neji was never afraid.

Unexpectedly, a faint, low mumble, half muffled against her hair: "I can't lose you."

Tenten started in his arms. "What?"

".....Nothing." Abruptly he stepped away from her, leaving her disappointingly cold. Tenten stared after him as he turned around, stalking across the remnants of the earlier battle.

"Neji?" she ventured tentatively, heart pounding in her chest.

He paused, standing stiffly amidst the blood and shattered metal. Tenten bit her lip. Perhaps she had merely imagined it...she should have known better than to expect anything so sentimental from him. He had been angry at her, was angry at her even now. Then-

"Tenten...don't leave me again. Ever," he spoke up quietly, keeping his back to her stunned figure. "Promise me."

Suddenly she found it difficult to breathe. There was a long silence, the air so thick and dry with tension it almost seemed tangible, a crackling void between them.

Neji...

Then she smiled, stepping forwards to slip her hand into his, and her heart ached a little when his fingers curled gently around her own. "I promise."

It seemed like her whole life had been a struggle between her nature and what circumstance forced her to be. She had begun pursuing her dream to be a great kunoichi with hot-blooded passion and enthusiasm; that had been hidden under a cooler exterior growing up with Neji, had been tempered learning the rules of the shinobi, though she supposed she had never really lost that recklessness in her spirit. Loving Neji and being loved in return had broken that façade for a while; even running away, even agreeing to kill two Leaf shinobi in exchange for Anko's revival – those had all be acts of impulse, of her heart. But now it was no longer enough.

Now she had to kill the man she loved (because yes, she knew that somehow she was still in love with Hyuuga Neji, no matter how much it hurt to even think about him). Anko could not be used by Orochimaru as a vessel, ever.

Tenten could sense the irony in her decision. Choosing Anko over Neji, too, had been an act governed by her heart. But all these years of her self-imposed exile from Konoha had been unbearably lonely, with the only thing keeping Tenten from dragging herself back to face Tsunade being her belief that Anko should not have been killed, that Tsunade had effectively destroyed all that she had believed in, all that she had loved about Shinobi. Honour, justice, truth - all gone. Anko was a ghost to her now, but a ghost she was willing to stay with if that meant these past seven years of utter and complete hell were justified. Living for a false purpose...was worse than hell. It meant losing yourself, and Tenten was lost enough as it was to even consider abandoning her sole anchor to the world.

It was a matter of protecting herself, in a way - though in protecting herself, her faith, she now had to abandon her very nature.

...I guess it's still mind over heart, then.

Forgive me, Neji.

Tenten was nearing the gates to the small town of Isako, one of those dubious little settlements sprawled right on the border between Leaf and Rock. It had endured a continual tug-of-war between the two countries before both sides realized that there really wasn't much there to fight over, the town being a small wreck of old, crumbling buildings from a bygone era. Despite its derelict state, however, there was a relatively high population, thus there were monthly patrols from Leaf and Rock (conveniently timed to just miss each other, so that both sides could convince themselves that they were the ones in control).

Tenten could see the bright, gaudily lit gates in the rapidly nearing distance; when she squinted she could make out the bustling crowds behind them, the streets still cheerfully busy despite it being already quite late into the night. She wondered if they were celebrating a festival. After traveling for three days straight she was exhausted, ready to drop to the ground in fatigue; a festival would work well in her favour, allowing her to slip more easily into the town with the relaxed security about the perimeters.

She was right – half an hour later she was stumbling tiredly through the gates, rusty iron swinging freely on its hinges. Security had been lax, indeed – the lone guard left assigned to the gates had managed to get hold of some sake and was snoring against the perimeter walls, keys dangling from a pocket.

The night was alive with bright lights, brilliant flashes of gold and red streaking between the crowds as children ran laughing with their paper lanterns. The din was nearly unbearable with stall owners shouting loudly to advertise their goods, boisterous laughter ringing continually in the chill air and the excited squeals of young girls with their dates; the town was in a flurry of excitement, a pretty whirl of intense colours and snapshots of civilian life. Tenten glanced around her half-heartedly, trying hard to ignore the faint pang in her heart as she reluctantly remembered past festivals in Konoha, times when she had been happy with those she loved close by. Fists clenching unconsciously by her side, she made her way through the throng, searching for a place to stay overnight.

She found the inn near the edge of town, stuck inconspicuously between an empty, abandoned warehouse and a shabby restaurant. She walked in casually, a mere traveler in town for the festivities. The owner of the inn barely noticed her, handing her a set of keys and gesturing vaguely for her to go up the stairs.

"Up there. Third room on the left."

The stairway was narrow, twisted in a rickety spiral and kept in what seemed to be a perpetual state of darkness. On one stretch of the wall, amidst the peeling plaster, glum looking individuals stared out from a long row of wanted posters. Tenten paused, setting her pack lightly on the floor and running her gaze over each of the faces.

She had chosen this town for its proximity to Konoha, without being too far into the country to be caught by Leaf hunter-nin. Neji, she supposed, would probably have returned to Konoha to report to Tsunade.

Now she just had to lure him back to her.

Tenten lifted up her pack and proceeded up the stairs, the wanted posters crumpled into her hand. That night she lay on her bed, eyes closed, listening to the fading sound of laughter outside the window.

By evening another two days later, Isako was in an uproar. All seven of their wanted had been found, a pile of corpses in the middle of the town square.

Tenten watched the frightened citizens running through the streets from her window, the Leaf patrol troops hurrying amongst the crowds. Hunting down and killing the criminals had been an easy job; she had killed more in a day during her stint as a hired mercenary these past few years. These had been mere amateurs terrorizing the hapless little town.

She turned back to the weapons spread out on the floor of her room, cold metal gleaming in the dull light of the single light bulb hanging from the ceiling.

She had set the bait, the signal. Now all she could do was wait here, alone in this dusty room, until Neji came to her. Tenten pulled down the blinds with a smooth flick of her wrist and turned back to polish her blades.

When he came, she would be ready.