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Review Responses

Amethyst-eyed Koneko: ha, it is interesting neh? Interview was an awesome movie. I also liked Queen of the damned. Angel was a good series, the last episode sucked though…but it didn't ruin the series

Daisuke Captain Oblivious: lol thanks for your enthusiasm. I like to see that in my reviewers! I love Buffy, The last season I hated though. She became all mope and... Just not Buffy!

Eternity's Heir: whoa, you're the first person to actually comment on the lyrics and Diary bit. I am so happy you liked them. I really love music, and I wanted to express that with my readers. As for the diary, it's kind of like in queen of the damned. But Tsuzuki has like Angel or Angelus. Accept he's all Angel good guy first, then angelus mean evil guy after, reversed. Hisoka being a punk was just a must see. I always think of him as a punk. I watched the series in Japanese and loved it. I didn't see the last episode though. I am waiting until I get the English box set!

Don't know what's going on
Don't know what went wrong
Feels like a hundred years I
Still can't believe you're gone
So I'll stay up all night
With these bloodshot eyes
While these walls surround me with the story of our life

I feel so much better
Now that you're gone forever
I tell myself that I don't miss you at all
I'm not lying, denying that I feel so much better now
That you're gone forever

Now things are coming clear
And I don't need you here
And in this world around me
I'm glad you disappeared
So I'll stay out all night
Get drunk and fucking fight
Until the morning comes I'll
Forget about our life

I feel so much better
Now that you're gone forever
I tell myself that I don't miss you at all
I'm not lying, denying that I feel so much better now
That you're gone forever

First time you screamed at me
I should have made you leave
I should have known it could be so much better
I hope you're missing me
I hope I've made you see
That I'm gone forever

And now it's coming clear
That I don't need you here
And in this world around me
I'm glad you disappeared

I feel so much better
Now that you're gone forever
I tell myself that I don't miss you at all
I'm not lying, denying that I feel so much better now
That you're gone forever
And now you're gone forever
And now you're gone forever

"Gone forever" by Three Days Grace

Forget about the life I use to know

Chapter 2

I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Date, 1816 September 7

We are now in Tibet, near a mountain range called the Himalayas, as I have studied the English map that he gave me. I have tried to prolong the urge to 'feed' on another being. He says that I shouldn't and that I am not going to survive if I don't. Just thinking about the blood makes me feel disgusted, in a sick sense I also want it more then anything I have ever wanted.

Peace seems to be far from anything I ever think about any more, maybe I am just wasting my time here. I need some darkness…but I can't accept that I want her blood; I want to hear her veins pumping that crimson syrup as it flows like ecstasy into my mouth. She is this woman I saw. I want her, but Muraki says I must first lure her in. Become her friend, I would rather die then know my food. That is the true nightmare that every human being has. To know their food, to speak with them, to listen to their problems and console, sometimes I forget though, I am not human…

I have learned that her name is Carmen. She apparently escaped from an Island called Australia. She says that she was a prisoner being kept there. She was falsely convicted on certain harsh circumstances. Apparently this 'Australia' is like a jail for everyone who has committed treason or murder. Psychotic people are also held at the Island. She says it was like living in hell.

I became suspicious of her, so I used my dark gift to read her thoughts. I found that she lied about the circumstances why she was sent to literal hell. She was convicted of killing her husband in cold blood, which she did so, with no regrets or morals. She pleaded to the court that he was sleeping with another woman. Which he wasn't? She killed him for the matter that he just wasn't good at sex anymore, and he was boring her after 10 years. Again I wonder how such women can live with themselves? Even in life I never killed anyone. Yes I ridiculed other boys when I was a child, and got ridiculed myself, but to kill is a true sin against god and our savior. But how can I compete, I am a living sin.

She asked me what I have doing in Tibet. I said that we were traveling novelists and that we write our information in Diary's such as this one. She asked me if she could come and see what I have written so far. I said yes…that was the biggest mistake of my death.

I led her to my room and rifled around for this Diary. On the cover of this Diary it says "Chishio". She asked me what is meant; her being all-English didn't understand my language. I explained it to her and she just said "what a dreary name". Dreary…I suppose it is. I won't be winning any big awards with a title like that on my hellish bible. I don't anticipate anyone to read these passages nonetheless.

She read up to about the two hundredth page, I think. And started to ask me what I meant by that. I wasn't paying attention. She was thin and had the most beautiful dip in her chest. I could hear her heart pumping slowly, steadily, like a smoothly carved drum. I couldn't contain myself. That night…I took her life. I had no remorse; I so much desired that blood like it was my own.

When I had awoken the next morning I was, appalled. I stared at her limp body for who knows how long. He came in and held me. Telling me the first 'real' kill is the worst. But I will get use to it.

How can I get used to…that! It's so disgusting, and pleasurable at the same time. I feel at odds with my inner being. Nothing makes sense anymore. I feel pained and confused. Why is this so hard? Is it not what he said, am I truly supposed to have no feelings for a life rather then my own existence. I…don't know…

I need to know

Asato, Tsuzuki

Translated from original text, entry 203 of 215. Diary of Tsuzuki Asato, Birth in 1790, died in 1814 A.D, July 6. Owned by the supernatural department agency of Canadian History.

Hisoka watched his finger as it went round and round, making a small circle in the dusty floor. He lay, curled into a ball. Fresh bruises and cuts could be seen protruding from his skin. His eyes seemed hollow. The cement floor was cold and hurt the still bleeding cut on his arm. His lips were swollen. He looked up to the only window in the basement. It was small but let in just enough light so Hisoka could see around him. The basement was a bare dank and musty place. It always seemed to get dustier every time his parents locked him up.

It wasn't the fact that he was cold and uncomfortable or that he was verbally and physically in pain. It was the fact that his parent's room was overhead of him. It was the fact that he could hear them creaking on the old bed. Their horrible moans seeping through the floor. It was the fact that he was here, alone, while they fucked each other's brains out upstairs. That his pain was their pleasure. That was what killed him the most. That is why he sat their drawing circles in the dust.

Hisoka felt unloved, and uncared for since he could remember. He was like a stress ball. Accept he knew his limits. He would never tell them that though, he would never admit defeat. Because if they knew how much pain they truly inflicted on him, they could hurt him all the more.

He sighed and sat up. Last night when he was thrown down the stairs his parents threw his bag at him. At least they were stupid enough to give him some relaxation. He unzipped the bag and pulled out bandages, antiseptic, and a lot of band-aids. He slipped of his shirt revealing old scars and cuts from beating before. He started to smother antiseptic over his body. He cringed as he touched the one on his shoulder. He whipped the dried blood of with a water bottle that he thankful hadn't of thrown out the day before. He started to wrap his arms in bandages and slipped a gym shirt on that he never used. It was green with a low collar.

He rifled through his bag. There he found a small bag of chips and opened it. He munched down on a couple of salty potatoes and went back to his search through his bag. An Mp3 was nestled in a small pocket to the back. He turned it on and looked through the various songs. There was Linkin Park, Three Days Grace, Good Charlotte, Staind, Blink 182, Sum 41, BNL, Nickelback, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and a lot of songs Tsubaki had downloaded. He decided to check out one of the random songs that she downloaded. He pressed the small button and the screen read "Abused and Belittled – Buckets of rain".

A slow drumbeat started to play as an electric guitar could be heard picking up the drums. The song became louder and harder. It started to become a rock song. And the lyrics spewed out into Hisoka's head.

"Maybe if I was cool, I wouldn't be their tool. Maybe if I were Hard, they wouldn't catch me off guard. Maybe if I were right, they wouldn't wrong me. Because I am finding out that things don't go my way."

A guitar started to become more aggressive and angry, as if a beast was screaming.

"If I did everything, maybe they wouldn't taunt me. I can't understand, why they slap my hand (Why they slap my hand) they throw me down the stairs. These metal bars seem to show home much they care. Were are they coming from?"

The young girls voice was deep and had true meaning to it, as if she was confessing her life.

"Would it make you happy, if I was you? (Would it?) Would it change what I really knew (not likely) I don't know whom your preaching to! (Cause I am not listening) I don't know were this is all leading (To a dark hollow shell?) Did I ever have a choice for a different life (Love and caring) Have I ever seen the sun shine? (Cause I can't remember) Will you ever hear this sorrowful rhyme (This is my heart) I am telling you again…

His heart felt heavy. 'Who is this song about?' he thought.

"Did you every know…that I was alone?"

"Will you ever care, how far I have fallen?"

It felt like it wasn't their song; it felt like they were retelling his life!

"Did you know, I'm belittled…and abused."

Hisoka threw the head phones off. He stared at the Mp3 and scowled. That song was to close to home for him to enjoy it. Even if it was a good song…

Tsuzuki sighed. It was another restless day. He held onto Muraki tightly as he cringed. The room they were sleeping in was big. It was in the basement of an abandoned apartment. He kept hearing a song ringing in his head, and fear. It was disturbing his sleep.

"Shhhh its just a dream my love. Just a dream, ignore it," soothed Muraki. He held Tsuzuki close to his body. He stroked Tsuzuki's hair and kissed his forehead. "Would you like to go hunting tonight? Find a young boy?" cooed Muraki.

At the mentioning of the hunt, Tsuzuki remembered the boy, 'Hisoka' he thought. Thinking about him soothed his nerves and he slowly began to sleep. Scooting closer to the source of comfort…Muraki.

"That's right, relax. Sleep Tsuzuki san." Muraki sighed. And joined Tsuzuki in the world of sleep. Its not like they needed sleep, their cells had died a long time ago. It made no difference. The only reason they slept was because of the sun, it was their mortal enemy. If a 'sinner', as Muraki called them, were to bask in the sun. They would burn into ashes and float away in the wind.

For some unknown reason, Tsuzuki dreamed about Hisoka. But it wasn't weird that it was Hisoka he was dreaming about. It was the dream in itself. As long as Tsuzuki had been reborn, he had never dreamt once. It was as if he lost all of his imagination in the transition.

The dream was in a forest, it was in Japan. His homeland. The trees were blooming beautifully and everything was serene. He was walking in the sunlight. Letting the rays fall on his long dead skin.

He could see Hisoka. For his 'gift' was enabling him to infiltrate the boys mind. He could see Hisoka sitting on the floor, naked, with scars all over his small frame. Tsuzuki bent down to lift Hisoka's face…Hisoka looked up and his eyes were blood shot. Fangs stuck out of his mouth and he lunged for Tsuzuki. He caught onto him and started drinking his blood. Tsuzuki collapsed into Hisoka's arms.

When Tsuzuki awoke the that night he was breathing heavily and blood tears streamed down his face. He held his knees and cried softly, in the basement, of that old apartment…

Rei's corner

Rei: I enjoyed that

Tsuzuki: I wasn't in it much

Rei: I know, I am sorry!

Tsuzuki: okay

Hisoka: The lyrics to the song were good. Did you write them yourself Narrator Sama?

Rei: yes I did, it took awhile for me to think up good lyrics.

Hisoka: nice

Rei: heh thanks.

Muraki: did I sense Tsuzuki fluff?

Rei: ya, but you'll only get him a little, so poo you

Muraki: damn…

Tsuzuki: oh and "Chishio" means Blood

Rei: explanation's again

3 o them: k!

Rei: This one was a fun chapter to compose; actually, I am becoming very attached to this story, its really cool. And for all you U.S.A. people. Toronto is in Ontario. No I don't live in Toronto, I am Canadian though. I have a friend, Car, who visits Toronto. He says some parts are just shit holes. Kind of like north New York state.

I am going to make a cool list of songs for the char because its fun!

Tsuzuki – Sacrifice by Tatu/Behined blue eyes by Limp Bizkit

Hisoka – Crawling in the dark by Hoobastank/So far away by Staind

Muraki – Riot by Three Days Grace/One way ticket to hell…and back by The Darkness

Hope you liked it. Read and Review

Sincerely Rie