It was a clear and starry night as a cool breeze drifted across the grounds of C. C. The lights were off…well…all except one. A soft blue glow shined through one of the windows, which came from the TV held in the living room. There, on the couch, sat the prince of all Saiyans in all his mighty glory. The TV flickered as Vegeta switched channel after channel until a station with two women wrestling in a pile of mustard graced the screen. He sighed, but decided to leave it on that channel seeing as nothing else competitive was on. Suddenly, a thump made itself known. He snapped his head in the direction of the stairs where he heard the thump. On the second floor, was a tall shadowy figure, but left not a moment later with a squeaky noise. Vegeta, being the 'kill everything in sight' person that he is, turned off the television and followed after the shadowy figure to investigate. As he climbed up the stairs, he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around and was met with a spider winking at him with a 'piss monster' T-shirt on. He raised his hand to flick the spider away and then continued his was up the stairs. As he reached the last step, he heard another squeaky noise. He looked down to his boots and lifted one of them up. His eyes widen in horror as the scent of horny earthlings filled the air, which was the exact same time he saw a slimy condom stick to his boot. He flung the boot off in such a panic that it landed on Dr. Brief's cat. The cat suddenly became evil and sprouted bat-like wings. It flew into the air and lunged itself at Vegeta with the condom hanging on it's tooth. Vegeta did a limbo under the cat, which resulted in the cat stopping right above his nose, looking for him. With the condom dangling mere centimeters from his eyes, it was about to sneeze. He smashed his eyes shut to avoid the sneeze and then opened one of his eyes to see what the damage was. The condom dripped yellowish/reddish slime and everything in the room seemed to slow impossibly still. Vegeta screamed bloody murder as it landed in his eye. Steam started to rise from his eye as he dropped to the ground in pain. He got up moments later and started blasting the cat. With a satisfied smirk, the cat blew up into millions of pieces. He laughed evilly in victory, when...the condom landed in his throat. He banged his back against a wall and out the condom flew. He quickly flew to the nearest bathroom and drank all the Listerine, even some firecrackers to blow the juices out. As he left the bathroom... the condom was no longer where he spat it out. A chill ran down his spine and then he smacked his forehead in annoyance.
"Heh, me, the prince of all Saiyans, the destroyer of zillions of planets, feared through out the universe... is afraid of a used condom... pathetic."
But, as he looked down the hall, the shadowy figure returned and ran into...
"GET YOUR FAT ASS OUT OF MY QUARTERS!"
He sped down the hall and skidded to a halt in front of his room, which had no light on.
(Insert 'Halloween Theme')
He pushed the creaking door open and hesitantly turned on the light. He fell to his knees in painful horror. The whole room was filled with 'small' condoms filled with yellow slime, dancing among a body, singing 'TROJAN MANNNN!" Vegeta couldn't move his legs, but he was determined to rid himself of these 'things' once and for all. He crawled on his gut like some military dude towards the 'sacrifice' the crazy condoms were having. As he got closer, the body was reviled to be Krillin all bloody, especially in a 'certain' place. On each side of Krillin's head was a condom, pulling one long condom in and out of his ear on each side...well, at least it looked like a condom. Vegeta ignored the site and crawled towards the dancing condoms. Some became acrobats and made a triangle pyramid as they jumped on top of each other with one speaking.
"YOU! Furry man! Are you... the weenie of legends?"
Vegeta, feeling really stupid, replied to it.
"And what if I am?"
"The weenie of legends will be worshiped by so many condoms! It is destined that the weenie of legends will fuse with our legendary goddess! The cave of pleasures is what she is known as."
Vegeta, thinking this was the stupidest thing he has ever heard of, flipped the condoms off. One latched itself onto his finger and sucked at his skin like a leach.
"Hm... yup, tastes like the weenie of legends!"
Vegeta's left eye twitched and powered up the finger being sucked on and the blue energy melted the plastic off his hand.
"WEENIE THE POO! NOOOOOO! That was our dinner! He was the fat one among us! 'sniff'"
The condoms suddenly started to close in on Vegeta saying 'one of us, one of us'. They tied 'string' around his limbs and strapped him to the floor.
"This string is made from the finest hair! Compliments from Raditz Corporation."
Vegeta went wide-eyed as they ripped his pants and undies off.
"W-what the hell are you slime bags doing!"
"We are recovering 'the weenie of legends', you are just the messenger. We will 'remove' him from your service now."
One of the slime bags pulled out an electrical pizza cutter and slimed its way towards Vegeta. Vegeta could not budge from the... salty sweaty strings... as he kept pushing against the floor. All seemed lost, until...
'Tinkle'
Vegeta smirked in victory as he pushed too hard, causing him to piss urine at one of the condoms, melting it instantly. Some how, he started using muscles he never knew he had, moving his 'weapon' of choice around with his groin muscles, shooting one by one.
"HAHAHAHA! I am the prince of all Saiyans once again!"
But something horrible happened at that very moment... he ran out of ammo. Thinking that he should have eaten that deformed soup Bulma cooked him earlier would have gave him back up, but couldn't dwell in the past at the moment. They crawled on his leg, worming their way closer and closer to the 'throne room', which resulted in Vegeta trying to whack them away with his empty 'weapon'. That's when a crash echoed from the window of the bedroom.
"Veggie! I can't believe you'd have a donut party without me!"
"Kakkorot, You fool! Kill the slime balls!"
Goku looked around and saw Krillin all bloody in 'certain' areas.
"Veg, you gave him too many Bloody Marys."
A slapping noise brought Goku's attention back to Vegeta.
"Hey! You got a new pet worm! Man it's big. What did you do, nuke it?"
Before Vegeta could reply, Goku saw shiny circles around the floor as well as some crawling up towards Vegeta's new pet. He just stared at them... watched... stunned... the light reflected off the slimy plastic resembled the supposedly twice destroyed moon. He started to shake uncontrollably with his eyes turning purple with three green pupils in each. He collapsed to the ground and tiny caliper-like legs sprouted all over the front side of his body. He started to crawl around like a worm and slithered his way around the room. He stopped towards the back of the room and screamed.
"DONUTS!"
He then sped his way through the room with his chin an inch away from the ground and ate one condom after another.
"Oh! Glaze donuts!"
He then slid up Vegeta's leg in the same manner, sucking all the condoms like a vacuum, blearily missing Vegeta's weapon. After all the condoms in the room were eaten, Goku changed back to his normal form from lack of moon-like light. Goku then belched and rubbed his tummy in delight.
"Ha! That's what you get for not inviting me to your donut party!"
"Believe me, Kakkorot. You can have all the 'donuts'."
Goku froze in place and was silent for a few moments. He then started to panic and ran around the room, ripping out drawers, cabinets, and blankets. Hell, even the blasted toilet. He finally frowned in defeat, until he glanced at Vegeta and grinned from ear to ear. He lunged himself at Vegeta, reaching for his limbs. An already pissed off Vegeta kicked Goku in the gut, which caused Goku to fly into a wall. Vegeta then gave Goku a warning growl.
"Sorry Veg, but I needed the strings around you to use as dental floss."
And with that, Goku proceeded to clean his teeth with the salty hairs. Realizing that he was now free, Vegeta got up and redressed himself and gazed upon his once clean room. He then noticed Krillin was no longer here.
"Kakkorot, where's chrome do-"
He stopped when he saw Goku with a very large stomach.
"...idiot."
Goku turned around with curly hairs sticking out of his teeth.
"Did you say something, V?"
Vegeta shook his head at Goku's stupidity and walked out of his bedroom with a confused Goku behind him. As they continued to walk down the hall, a squeaky noise appeared. They both twirled around, but nothing was there. Yet, another squeaky noise appeared and they swung around to their original position to see a shadowy figure at the end of the hall. Instead of fleeing, the figure walked its way towards the Saiyans, each step containing a squeak. It stopped a few feet away from them and all that could be heard was a rough breathing. After awhile, Vegeta broke the silence.
"Who are you?"
"The correct question is... 'Who am I?'"
"...like I said, who are you?"
It stomped it's feet a few times before replying.
"No, no, no! You're doing it all wrong! You'll never know who I am if you don't follow along!"
Vegeta sighed in annoyance and replied.
"Or I could just do this."
Vegeta raised his hand to the wall and flipped the light switch on, which startled the creature.
"Damn... forgot about the lights."
The lights revealed the shadowy figure to be Yamcha in a brown robe.
"Well, well, well... look who it is."
Yamcha glared at Vegeta, but then grinned.
"You may have found out who I am earlier then expected, but that just means your death will come sooner then planed."
Vegeta chuckled.
"You? A threat? Ph, the woman's ditzy mother is more of a challenge then you."
Yamcha snarled and stretched his arms out a bit.
"Lo and behold! The long lost power of the Trojan condoms has returned to smite thee!"
His robe then turned to shreds as octopus tentacles sprouted from his body with slimy condoms all over the extra limbs. Vegeta's jaw hung slightly open in disgust.
"Well, that explains where all the extremely tiny condoms came from."
Yamcha's eyebrows knitted together from the insult and started to shoot condoms out of his limbs. Vegeta calmly grabbed Goku and held him in front of him. He expertly twisted Goku's body around and around so that Goku could eat the condoms that flew towards them. As soon as the condoms stopped firing, he held Goku as if he was reloading a rifle, which caused Goku to fart out a greenish gas, and then sat Goku down next to him. Yamcha glared daggers at Vegeta and mumbled 'Stupid Saiyans and their bottomless stomachs'.
"Prepare yourself, Vegeta, for the longest fight you'll ever have!"
Yamcha then leaped towards Vegeta, but then stopped in mid air when he glanced at Goku. Both Goku and Vegeta, looked in the direction Yamcha was looking at, which just happened to me Goku's gut. Goku's shirt was covered in blood. Goku ripped his shirt open and saw that his belly button was leaking blood. Suddenly, little sausage-like things crawled their way out of the belly button and started to stretch the hole wider and wider until something round and shiny poked out. The sausage-like things turned out to be fingers. Goku's eyes rolled to the back of his head and all at once, the thing inside him ripped his torso in half and out spat Krillin towards Yamcha screaming 'Death to all who oppose me!'. After a few moments, Krillin had killed Yamcha and was devouring one of his tentacles in a zombie-like state, moaning in happiness. Vegeta just grunted and said.
"Well, what do you know, it wasn't a long fight after all."
He then glanced at Goku, who had collapsed to the floor earlier from bleeding to death. Krillin snapped his colorless eyes towards Vegeta and growled, thinking that Vegeta was going to steal his home. Krillin then ran on all fours back to Goku and dived headfirst back into his gut, crawling around and around in the cave like a cat before it lies down to go to sleep. Vegeta stood there for a moment then left. A few moments later, he returned with a collar and rapped it around Krillin's neck with 'Zibo, property of prince Vegeta' on the nametag. Vegeta proceeded to walk back downstairs to watch girls wrestle in mustard on the TV when a delicious smell graced his nose. He smirked and headed towards the kitchen where Mrs. Brief was just placing his plate down.
"Hey there, muffin! Ready for some hotdogs?"
Ignoring the nickname, he grunted and took a seat and was about to consume one of the hotdogs, but froze. He gazed at the hotdog for a long while, wondering why it looked so familiar. His eyes widen as he dropped the hotdog back on to the plate. His mouth became dry as he glided his hand slowly down his torso to his lower region. He hesitated right above his pride and joy, and then tried to grasp it... but felt nothing. He stood up quickly and tore his pants and undies off and screamed in painful realization. His manhood was no longer there, but was now in between the hotdog bun instead. He fell to his knees and looked at the ceiling with a feeling of emptiness, when Mrs. Brief spoke up after 'realizing' what was wrong with the prince.
"Oh, I'm sorry dear. I forgot to get you your ketchup."
Heh, Zibo is actually my brother's nickname. Oh, and the 'piss monster' thing is actually an inside joke me and a freind of mine had, so don't get all confused over it. Next chapter, I'm not sure what to do with since i'm trying to get back to work on my other story, but i'm thinking Raditz will be involved in the next chapter. I need ideas! AIM me or something! T.T