Doo...Doo...Doo...Doo...'Missiles fire'...Doo...Doo...
Panting heavily, Vegeta was shooting rock after rock in the game called 'Asteroids' in an arcade down town.
Doo...Doo...
He was drenched in sweat after standing there for 28 hours straight with a pile of dust around him from some unlucky kids who wanted a turn to play.
Doo...Doo...
The burnt flesh in the air was stinging his unblinking red eyes as they darted across the screen.
Dodododododo...
Victory was in his grasp, when he was suddenly tackled to the ground.
'Beep beep game over'
Vegeta shoved the person who tackled him to the wall and slammed his fist through the computer screen.
"Vengeance will be mine!"
After a few ragged breaths, he turned his piercing gaze upon the person who ruined his high score. Goku sighed in relief and stood back up.
"No need to thank me, Veg. You would have done the same for me if I was hypnotized by that crazy robot."
Vegeta snorted at Goku's never ending stupidity and proceeded to cross his arms and glare at a near by wall as if trying to burn holes into it.
"EAT IT! EAT IT! EAT IT!"
Goku turned his head in the direction of where his favorite word was being yelled. A group of kids surrounded one of the arcade games chanting those very words to the kid at the controls. He glanced a bit up and saw the name 'Pac Man' printed on the game box and then turned his gaze to the screen. A large yellow gumball was rolling across the screen and was eating white nerds while colorful marshmallows were chasing after it. His stomach growled as drool dripped from his mouth. He broke out of his trance when Vegeta punched him across the face. Goku gave him a questioning look.
"The robot was devouring your precious brain."
Goku gasped in fright.
"Vegeta... although your intentions were well meant...I think you acted a bit too late. I can't remember what high school I graduated from!"
"You never went to high school. Wait. Let me rephrase that. You never went to a school."
Goku's eyes widen as tears threatened to burst out.
"Oh kami... no... the robot sucked your memory of me going to school! How can it be so cruel?"
Vegeta smacked his forehead and glided his hand down his face.
"Kakkorot...if you went to school, but lost the memory of actually attending it, then how do you know you went to school?"
"I...I just know."
All at once, the room's lights dimmed and the theme to 'The Twilight Zone' played through the room. Then the lights turned back to normal and the melody was no more. Vegeta and Goku just stared at the ceiling for a few moments. Vegeta shook his head and then headed towards the exit with Goku hot on his trail.
"Let's go eat!"
Vegeta sighed and agreed while using his Saiyan speed to grab a wallet out of some girl's purse as she walked by them. They both climbed some stairs to reach the food court and headed to a pizza stand. They took their number and found a table to sit at. After a while of Vegeta drumming his fingers on the table and Goku trying to read a newspaper while failing to notice it was upside down, the pizza arrived. Vegeta, unable to see any beverages, glared up to the waiter to yell his ear off, but caught himself when he realized who the waiter was. Clad in a pair of red shorts and a horizontal red and yellow striped shirt with a red collar, stood Raditz holding their pizza. Goku stopped 'reading' when he smelled the pizza and froze when he saw his elder brother frowning at them. Goku burst into laughter when he noticed the rather large hair net Raditz was wearing. Vegeta couldn't help but chuckle at the sight.
"Nice uniform."
Raditz glared at him, but nothing more. He sat the pizza on the table and turned to leave when Vegeta cleared his throat.
"I believe we ordered some refreshments as well, yeti."
Raditz mumbled a few choice words towards the prince and stomped his way back to the stand. He returned momentarily and slammed the glasses on the table and turned to leave, but was yet again stalled by Vegeta.
"Sasquatch! There's a hair in my drink, I demand another!"
Raditz had a few veins appearing on his forehead and grabbed his drink and returned with a hair free glass. Satisfied with his examination of the liquid, Vegeta proceeded to consume the Italian dish. While gorging himself, Goku stared at his sibling with curiosity.
"So, 'burp' why do you work here?"
"I need the money, that's what jobs are for."
"Well, I thought you were a boxer or something."
"I was."
"Why aren't you anymore?"
Raditz face turned a shade of red when he recalled the humiliating incident of him getting tangled up in his own hair and was down for the count.
"It wasn't for me."
Goku shrugged and slurped his soda while Vegeta took his share of questions.
"What do you need the money for?"
Raditz forehead started to shine with sweat.
"Because."
"Because of?"
"Just... because."
Before Vegeta could pursue the answer, Goku interrupted him.
"Hey! I almost forgot! It's your birthday today, Vegeta!"
Vegeta raised an eyebrow at Goku while Raditz slumped his shoulders and backed away a few steps while taking a deep breath and...
"HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY! YOU'RE ONE YEAR MORE WISER! HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY! YOU'RE ALSO ONE YEAR CLOSER TO YOUR DEATH! HEY! HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY! WE HOPE YOU ENJOY OUR CHEESY PIZZAS! HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY! YOU'LL BE CONSTIPATED ALL DAY! HEY!"
A couple of minutes passed when Raditz summed up the courage to raise his head to look upon his fellow Saiyans. Goku stared open mouthed with a slice of pizza in his hand right before his mouth while Vegeta had wide eyes with his left slightly twitching. The front half of Goku's pizza broke off and landed on the table with a 'splat', which seemed to break the silence.
"What the hell was that!"
Yelled Vegeta as Raditz came back to the table with a hint of red stained to his cheeks.
"I'm required to sing that for people's birthdays..."
"Well it isn't my birthday. You should know by now not to trust in Kakkorot's statements. They can occasionally be fatal."
"Raditz!"
The trio turned to see a fat man with a brown mustache and buzz hair cut approach them. He glared daggers at Raditz as he stopped right in front of them. Clipped to his suit was a tag with the word 'Manager' printed on it.
"A number of customers have complained about their meals containing numerous amounts of hair! Their skin exploded with hair! People are dropping left and right from the hair suffocating them to death!"
"How do you know those hairs are mine?"
His boss raised an eyebrow.
"Do you seriously expect me to answer that?"
Raditz sighed and shook his head in defeat.
"I regret to inform you that you're dismissed from your duties."
"You mean...?"
"You're fired."
Raditz lower lip began to quiver.
"Your uniform must be returned immediately, so get going."
Raditz dropped to his knees while hugging the man around his legs.
"Please don't fire me! I need the money! Oh Kami, PLEASE!"
The man's face started to turn red from anger and he grabbed for Raditz's hair net.
"I said remove the uniform!"
Raditz gasped in horror as he felt the net begin to pull free.
"Let go, you fool! You'll set 'it' free! The world will be in utter chaos with 'it' on the loose!"
His former boss ignored him and finally managed to get the hair net free as well as out of Raditz's grasp.
"You've got an hour to return the rest of the uniform or I'll call the police."
He left without another word. Raditz stood on his knees, unmoving. Goku walked over to his brother and laid a hand on his shoulder in comfort while Vegeta left to dispose of their trash. He came back to see Goku waving his hand in front of Raditz's face. He stood beside Goku and looked at the ex-pizza dude. His eyes were wide with extremely tiny pupils. No emotion emitted from them. After a moment or two, his mouth moved to speak, but nothing could be heard.
"What?"
Muttered a confused Goku.
"Run..."
Raditz's eyes returned to normal as he stood back up quickly.
"Run for your pitiful lives!"
Vegeta tilted his head while narrowing his eyebrows in bewilderment. Before he could question the frightened warrior, a high-pitched laughter emerged. Suddenly, mini dark clouds filled the food court and circled around Raditz's head with mini lightning bolts appearing randomly. Goku gazed at it in awe and shoved his hand into his pocket and retrieved a small black box.
"It's a Kodak moment!"
A click was heard, followed by a flash of light. Happy with the picture, he returned the box from whence it came and returned to his 'awe' state. A red lightning bolt appeared and struck the middle of Raditz's head, which parted his hair in half. A shadowy figure floated out of the thick hair and levitated above his head, but then floated back down until the lower half of its body was covered by the hair. It then threw back its head and out came a sickening laughter that echoed through the large room.
"I LIVE!"
The screech caused the clouds to instantly vanish. The florescent lighting fell upon Raditz once again. On the top of his head was a woman sitting Indian style with a light purple glow emitting from her. She had dark green hair tied into two buns with red fiery eyes. She was wearing a bikini knitted from Raditz's hair, which seemed to be falling apart from the horrible sewing. She grinned evilly as her eyes gazed across the room, which by now was deserted except for herself and the three Saiyans. Her eyes went from Vegeta, who still had that confused look, to Goku, whose face was as white as a ghost. She then looked down to Raditz.
"Don't just stand there! Introduce me to your friends!"
Raditz's winced at the sound of her voice, but complied with her demand.
"Um...I-..um..."
Growling in anger, she proceeded to reach behind her and pull out a frying pan and whack Raditz on the head.
"Stop stuttering!"
Goku then wetted himself as he stared at the frying pan and then leaned his head next to Vegeta and whispered...
"She reminds me of someone. I just can't put my finger on it."
Vegeta, not wanting the yellow fluids trailing down Goku's pants while forming a puddle to find their way towards his boots, pushed Goku away. Raditz regained his composer and spoke.
"This is Prince Vegeta of the Saiyans and this is my younger brother, Kakkorot."
She nodded to them both while waiting for Raditz to introduce her to them.
"Prince Vegeta, Kakkorot, this is my...my-..."
The green haired woman raised the frying pan in the air as a warning. He sighed deeply.
"This is my mate, Kiki."
Goku smiled in delight for seeing his brother 'happily' married while Vegeta burst out in laughter from Raditz's misfortune. A light bulb appeared atop Goku's head.
"Hey! Our wives should meet! Two wives mean twice the amount of food!"
Before anybody could protest, Goku grabbed the two while using his instant transmission to get to his desired destination. They then appeared in front of Goku's house. Raditz glared at his brother while Vegeta smacked Goku's hand off of him. As they were about to enter the house, the door slammed open.
"Goku! Where have you be-"
Screamed Chichi, but stopped as she noticed Kiki. Her eyes widen in shock and then narrowed in anger.
"Kiki."
Kiki turned her gaze to Chichi and smirked in pleasure.
"Chichi, so this is where you've been hiding."
"I thought I got rid of you on Riyu."
"Heh, you should check to see if your enemy is dead before you leave the planet."
Goku, being the idiot that he is, entered the conversation.
"Um...I'm hungry...can you guys discuss this while cooking?"
"Silence!"
Screamed the women. Goku shrank back behind Vegeta. Kiki pulled out her frying pan while pointing it towards Chichi.
"Let us finish what we started three thousand years ago."
Chichi reached behind her and also pulled her frying pan out."
"Yes, lets."
Kiki's frying pan glowed purple and then shot a beam towards Chichi, but Chichi did a rolling dodge out the door. The house went up in flames. Goku's eyes widen in horror as he fell on his knees with his hands clenched in his hair.
"NOOOOOOO!"
Vegeta, being too bored, just shrugged and leaned against a tree to watch the fight while Raditz was trying to grab the frying pan from his mate. Kiki being furious with her mate's betrayal, smashed her fingers into his skull. The life from his eyes vanished but was replaced with a purple glow while grinning. With her fingers still inside his head, she proceeded to control him as he sprinted towards Chichi. Kiki then whacked her with the pan, which caused Chichi to collide with a tree next to Vegeta and Goku. She glanced at Goku and then rushed for him.
"Goku, get up!"
Goku, while staring depressingly at the grass, sighed.
"What's the point in living if I can't eat anymore?"
Chichi rolled her eyes at Goku's stupidity for thinking that their house was the only place to get food and jumped on his shoulders. She then shoved her fingers into his skull with a green glow emitting from his lifeless eyes. Kiki and Chichi stared each other down as their husbands circled each other. All at once they charged and whacks from their pans clashed together. Goku fell to the ground, which caused Chichi to lose focus. Noticing this, Kiki charged forward and slammed her pan through Chichi's stomach. Blood gushed all over Kiki as Chichi screamed in pain. As Chichi was hanging on to what little life she had left, Kiki licked her lips and raised her pan over her head to deliver the final blow. Suddenly, a swarm of energy surged through Chichi that paralyzed Kiki momentarily which was enough time for Chichi to call upon her last attack.
"FRYING PAN OF DOOM ACTIVATE!"
With that said, the pan sizzled and out spat fried eggs that latched onto Kiki everywhere. Steam rose from her skin as the acid like eggs ate away at her skin. She screamed and within moments disintegrated. Raditz then fell to the ground, never to walk the earth again. Chichi, knowing that her departure from this world was near, called upon Vegeta. The prince kneeled down next to her and watched as her skin began to pale. Violently gasping for air, she managed to speak.
"Vegeta... I don't want 'cough'... Gohan to know ab-about this."
She grabbed Vegeta's shirt with bloody hands and pulled him a bit down while staring him in the eyes.
"Promise me... promise me th-that you wont tell him. Promise me that you wont... 'gasp' tell a soul till the day he dies. Promise me..."
Vegeta was silent, but only for a moment.
"On my Saiyan honor..."
He nodded in agreement which resulted in Chichi smiling. Tears filled her eyes from the thought of never seeing her son again. With one last breath, her eyes glazed over. Her loose grip on him was released as her blood stained hands collapsed to the cold hard earth. The once caring mother... was no more. The only thing remaining that proved she once lived was the salty liquids cascading down her cool pale cheeks. He knelt there for a small amount of time until a rustling sound grabbed his attention. He snapped his head towards the woods to see who the intruder was, but his face slightly faltered at the sight. A ragged looking Gohan stumbled out of the bushes. By the cuts and bruises that covered him, it seems that he just came back from a training session from his teacher, Piccolo. Gohan looked in Vegeta's direction and seemed startled to see the prince there.
"Vegeta? What are you doing here?"
No reply.
"Vegeta...?"
He remained silent as he stared at Gohan with cold eyes. Finally, Vegeta responded by slowly lifting his right arm towards Gohan. The boy tilted his head in confusion, but it was soon replaced with fear as Vegeta lifted his palm up with a bluish glow sprouting from the middle. The sudden rush of energy rushed to his palm and within seconds, unleashed it towards the exhausted child. Gohan, seeing his inevitable demise, lowered his eyes shut calmly and welcomed the consuming light. The dust settled as the only remaining Saiyan in existence scanned the area where the boy once stood. He then chuckled.
"Well, he never did find out."
At long last, he took off into the sky to return home, only to be struck with pain as he fell back down with a sickening thud. He glanced at himself and widen his eyes. Hair wormed its way out of his skin in huge clumps. He yanked and pulled at the hairs, but they were growing too fast for him. Wondering why this was happening, his head snapped up in realization. He only checked his beverage for hair, not the pizza. He then recalled what the manager said about people keeling over as the rapidly growing hair suffocated them.
"Damn you, Raditz! Damn you and your curly hair to hell!"
With one last look into the bright sky, darkness crept over him as the hair covered him whole, never to see the light of day again.
Yay! Another meaningless chapter completed! I thought this chapter wasn't as humorous as the previous two, but I'm low on ideas. So please, if you have any requests on what you want to see in the next chapter, tell me! The more ideas, the faster chapters come out! Oh, and you guys should check out SportschickVLVR's new fic, "War of the Quadrants". It's marvelous!