Though Jacob took Mukong's words to heart Selmak could sense that Jacob still believed he was endangering his friends. As usual, he was just being stubborn! There were times she just wished that Jacob would learn to loosen up.
He was never this way before Allison died. Jacob had lived life to the fullest. Often taking unnecessary risks like flying his fighter jet with reckless abandonment. Allison was a bit of a daredevil herself and not the conservative wife so many other pilots had in those early years of their marriage.
Both she and Jacob would have continued to be that way when they were so young if she hadn't unexpectedly gotten pregnant a few years before they had planned on having their first kid. Allison's pregnancy with Mark settled her down. Settled her down but didn't extinguish that fire within her. She was always outgoing, had a cheerful disposition, and one hell of a fiery temper that matched Jacob's.
Jacob never tried to tame Allison or she him. And although Jacob seemed reckless with some of his antics those that really knew him could see the intelligence behind everything he did. He never put anyone in danger except himself and even then he never went too far. Then with a baby on the way Jacob used his intelligence to advance himself in the Air Force. As soon as he was eligible for a higher commission he took the tests and passed with high marks and continued to do so throughout his career.
From Jacob's memories, Selmak learned that the most traumatic thing that ever took place in her host's life was the loss of his wife. Mukong was right. The light was gone from Jacob's eyes because a part of him died with Allison. Then the alienation of his children had only pushed Jacob further away from ever truly living again. True he has been alive since Allison's death but inside him he has not lived. Not like he could have.
Selmak saw that Jacob only sought the company of women when he was at his loneliest. And he never tried to find a woman to love. In his mind there was only one woman. To this day he still wears the ring to honor her. It was a shared pain between Selmak and Jacob for she lost someone she loved as deeply as he had loved Allison.
Only Selmak never let her mate's death affect her the way that Allison's had affected Jacob. She mourned Tha'o for a hundred years before trying to find another, hoping to make that…connection she missed with Tha'o with another. There were a few candidates but none who had showed the interest in her. Well, none that is until she took Jacob as her host.
Selmak hadn't realized until seeing through a man's eyes just how pathetic or desperate some of the Tok'ra females were until they threw themselves at Jacob. One in particular, a trollop who wore only tight leather that made her boobs stick way up, had gone so far as to be naked in Jacob's bed when he and Selmak had returned to their quarters from a Council meeting.
Jacob didn't react well. And Selmak's hopes of having sex during the next century or two were snuffed out in the span of the sixty seconds it took for Jacob to toss Anise out into the tunnel! He literally tossed her…well ok, he dropped her on the floor then tossed her clothes out the door. But still, Jacob was resounded to living like a Monk and Selmak had no choice but to comply.
That didn't mean she was giving up entirely. For seven years she worked on her host. Tried to soften that rigid heart of his that beat within his chest. And all that work finally paid off! Jacob asked Janet to dinner. It was a colossal break through in Selmak's book! Then their kidnapping happen and Jacob reverted.
It was easy because Jacob had gotten so used to being alone that he didn't mind the idea of pushing Janet away. The idea of not loving someone meant he wouldn't suffer the pain if they were injured or killed. Selmak knew he couldn't endure such a thing again. But if it ever happened, it wouldn't be the same because she would be with him.
'Stubborn SOB!' she thought to herself in frustration.
'Sel? You ok? You're thinking pretty hard in there and keeping me out.'
'Just thinking what a difficult host I have at the moment,' she answered honestly.
Jacob mentally sighed, 'I'm sorry, Sel. I can't change how I feel. Janet would be better off without us in her life.'
'Mukong is right. You would be wasting a wonderful opportunity,' she pointed out to him. Then she decided to just pour on her usual blunt charm and try to work him. 'I think you should kiss her.'
'What?'
'You wanted to kiss her on the plane,' she said, feeling him blush. 'That was actually kind of disgusting Jacob. You just puked a few minutes before and then you tried to kiss her. But Janet was going to let you! That's saying something…isn't it?'
'I suppose,' he mumbled.
'Then kiss her. We don't want to lose her.'
'Sel…'
'Not a passionate kiss. You don't want to go overboard. Just a little lip pressing would do. Something to tease her!'
'Selmak, first of all we are not going to kiss Janet. The second we get back to the States I'm going to explain to her that she'd be better off without me. Second, we can't kiss her! It would be totally inappropriate! We never even made our date and we broke our promise to have her home by midnight!'
'Jacob…Jacob,' she muttered shaking her head. 'You're not seeing the big picture! Our date hasn't even ended yet! Tell me of one woman who wouldn't want to go to some far away land, go for a carriage ride while under a moon lit sky, see the sights, and eat exotic food like Sushi! Janet loves Sushi and this is her first taste of real Sushi! If you ask me…and you haven't…a girl would be a little miffed if she didn't have sex with the guy after all that!'
Jacob, who had been sipping on his Saki inhaled and blew Saki out of his nose when she mentioned the sex bit.
'After couple of days in Japan, we've made an impression on her! I'm sure seeing you in your boxers made one!' Selmak continued not letting up as he was coughing. 'She will never forget this date. I promise you that. Because I'm a girl too and I'm not going to forget it either!'
'You never forget anything Selmak!' he countered blowing his nose in a napkin.
'Jacob, take a look over there and tell me you don't see a beautiful woman that is worth taking a chance on!' she ordered.
Jacob glanced over. Janet was walking slowly on the small walkway through the garden towards them.
'I see more,' he sighed then turned away.
'Don't be afraid,' Selmak said and then she could resist teasing him. 'They say it's like riding a bike.'
'What?' he asked nervously.
'Sex!'
'Ah…Selmak! You have a lot to learn about being a man! You don't have sex with a woman like Janet…you make love to her!'
'Whatever…let's go!'
'Selmak, you're incorrigible!'
"Are you ok, Jacob?" Janet asked when she reached his side.
"I'm fine. My Saki just went down the wrong tube," he smiled as she sat beside him.
Selmak withdrew slightly and listened as Janet and Jacob started talking. Selmak had done her job. Jacob's mind had been redirected. It took a sledgehammer to make him adjust his thinking. It was worth it even if all Jacob did was talk with Janet.
Time. They had plenty of time for everything else to fall into place. For now, Jacob opening up even a little smidgen to Janet was a gigantic step in the right direction. Selmak could still sense the fear within Jacob. But she could also sense his true feelings for Janet.
Yes, it was simply a matter of time. And if Selmak were a little impatient she would simply give him a little nudge here and there along the way.