Chapter Nine

Tess sat on one of the many plush chairs in the back room of the Gasior Banquet Hall, just a few minutes outside of Roswell. Her and Faith had agreed to do a New Year's charity for the Children's Hospital. One of the administrators had seen them perform during the Talent competition and asked them to help out. They agreed of course, but as of the moment, Tess wasn't feeling that up to it.

She sighed, she was stupid. She should have never chosen Max for the dance at the temple last week. She knew it was pointless, she knew he loved Liz…she knew it all. She wasn't sure now if she had done it to try to apologize to him or to get one last close moment with him before she gave up entirely. She loved Max; she would always love him and only him. She died for him, and made herself better for him, she tried to understand him. She loved him sooo much…

And that's why she had to give him up. She wanted him to be happy, even if it wasn't with her. If Liz made him happy…then she'd back off…

She knew it would hurt, and she knew it would be hard…but she had to do it. She'd try to get over him at least for she could never fall out of love with him…

But that dance…it had been the best…she felt as if she had really connected with Max. But she was wrong… She thought he had been about to kiss her, and she was wrong…

She was wrong about so much…

So there she sat, on the red plush chair, depressed waiting for Faith to come back from meeting the gang. They'd have to leave soon…and Tess would be all alone…again…

"Hey," a voice said, cutting in on her thoughts, stopping them from roaming farther down the self-pitying road they were already on.

Tess looked up and smiled sadly, "Hey…"

Faith took a seat next to her friend, handing her a glass of OJ, sweetened, just how Tess liked it. They sat in silence for a while, not an uncomfortable one, just a silence where one person doesn't want to talk.

This went on for a while, the charity started, and the various acts went up. "So…" Faith started, glancing at Tess to see if she objected to the start of a conversation. Upon not seeing anything, Faith continued, "I…uh…changed the song." She said bluntly.

Tess turned to look at her, wondering what on earth she was talking about. Faith rolled her eyes, "I know, back in Sunnydale that you listened to Evanescence…so I checked them out…" Tess raised an eyebrow, Faith was not one to listen to bands like Evanescence, Tess practically had to beg her to listen to even one of their songs. "Yeah, yeah," Faith muttered, "It's not like me, I know. But I just wanted to cheer you up. You're no fun when you're all mopey like this." Tess smiled, "Besides, B's off with Spike half the time, and I need a sparing partner who isn't going to stare out into space all depressed." She laughed, drawing out a laugh from Tess, the first one since the Temple.

"So, which song?" Tess asked.

"Well…since you already know all of them on the piano, I decided to learn the violin part for My Immortal."

Tess stared at her in shock. Faith really didn't like playing the violin, and to have her want to learn a song was something hard to fathom.

"You learned it for me?" Tess asked quietly.

"Well, yeah," Faith said, shrugging. "You're one of my best friends, I had to do something to cheer you up." Tess smiled, and pulled the slayer into a sisterly hug; "Just think of this as a way to get your feelings off your chest without having to talk to Max."

Tess' smile grew, the song was just that…the epitome of her feelings for Max…

The Pod Squad and the I-know-an-alien club sat in the performance room of the Gasior Banquet Hall, waiting for Tess and Faith to take the stage, eager to know what they would be doing. Jim and Kyle were sitting on the end of the row, next to Isabel whom they invited, who sat next to Michael who was sitting as far away from Maria as possible since they had started fighting more as of late. Max was next to Michael, and next to him was a very disappointed Liz. She was sitting next to Maria whom, at the moment, did nothing but complain about all of Michael's faults while the other volunteers performed. Liz wished that Maria would just shut up just long enough for her to turn to Max…then she'd get the hint and start complaining to Alex who sat on the other side of her.

Just then the curtains closed on the stage and the MC came out announcing that Tess and Faith were about to take the stage. That was enough to silence Maria enough for Liz to turn to Max. She frowned a little; his attention was focused on the curtains, which still had yet to open. Gently she reached over to rest her hand upon his…when he pulled away. She looked down at the bare armrest, where her hand now lay before looking up at him once again. He was still looking at the curtains as if he hadn't realized he even pulled his hand away. The only difference was…now the curtains were open.

Tess sat on stage, just behind the ornate black grand piano, courtesy of the Banquet Hall. Faith stood beside the piano, near the other end resting her Violin on top of the piano. Tess took a deep breath before beginning to play a soft melody. After a few bars she began to sing, "I'm so tired of being here. Suppressed by all my childish fears, and if you have to leave…I wish that you would just leave 'cause your presence still lingers here…" At this point she raised her right hand and briefly placed it over her heart, continuing the melody for a moment with one hand before returning it to the keys, "And it won't leave me alone."

Faith picked up her Violin, gracefully resting it against her and beginning to play as Tess continued. "These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real, there's just too much that time cannot erase. When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears…"

As soon as the words left her mouth, Max was assaulted with flashes. He saw when he sat crying in the park after one of his numerous faults with Liz, looking up as Tess walked silently up to him and sat down beside him.

"When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears…" He saw the four of them chained to poles as the Skins came at them, Tess conjuring up a fireball to decimate them all.

"And I held your hand through all of these years…" Tess held his hand as he realized just what his destiny held in store, the day Liz walked away from him.

"But you still have…" Faith let the Violin fall gently to the side, as Tess played unaccompanied, "All of me…"

Tess looked out at the crowd as she continued to play, her blue eyes appeared a much richer shade of blue as they glistened with unshed tears.

"You used to captivate me by your resonating light. Now I'm bound by the life you left behind…" Tess looked up from the keys; a heartbroken look marred her face as Max was once again reminded that Tess remembered the life they had all forgotten. "Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams. Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me. These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real, there's just too much that time cannot erase…" Faith had picked up the Violin, playing again as she sang along with Tess on the last few words, creating an eerie yet beautiful sound.

"When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears…" Max was once again assaulted by visions, but of a life long gone. He saw an older version of Tess…Ava running towards him as he, Zan, received word that his uncle had perished during a battle with Kivar.

"When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears…" He saw Ava standing up to Kivar just before they died, taking a hit meant for his mother.

"And I held your hand through all of these years…" He saw crowds before him, looking over to see Ava holding his hand at…at their wedding.

"But you still have…all of me…" Max's eyes unglazed as the lingering traces of the vision faded to reveal Tess, looking into space, a single tear trailing down her face.

"I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone. But though you're still with me…I've been alone all along!" She sang, flashes of all the times he had pushed her away running through his mind.

"When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears," Now, for the first time, as he gazed upon Tess, pouring her heart out to him, seeing her crying freely with tears pouring down her cheeks…Max wanted to, he wanted to, wipe away her tears as she had done so often for him.

"When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears," Max felt guilty, for all the times he hadn't be there when Tess was scared, like she always was for him. That he hadn't even gotten to know her well enough to even know what scared her.

"And I held your hand through all of these years," Max felt disgusted with himself; for all that he had left her to alone. Not noticing when Rath and Lonnie had taken her in NY…not trying to protect her when the skins killed Nasaedo…not waiting for her when they hatched…

"But you still have…all of me…" Tess sang the last part in a whisper…as if it were a secret she didn't want to tell, but had to. "All of me… All of me… All of me…"

Faith put the Violin down as soon as Tess stopped playing, rushing over to her friend as she truly broke down crying on the bench of the Piano. She gathered Tess in her arms, hugging her and rocking her as she cried. The crowd cheered for such an emotional song. The curtains started to close…but just before they passed Tess, she looked out at the audience…right at Max…

And for the first time…Max found himself wanting to be the one that was holding Tess as she hurt…

I

I

I

There were refreshments being served in the Ball Room that had been converted for the night. Max and the group walked in with the rest of the audience, in awe of the sheer size of the room. All the participators were already scattered about the room, congratulating each other over their performances.

Max walked quickly away from the group, mind set on only one thing…finding Tess. He didn't know whether it was to praise her, comfort her, or apologize to her. He'd have to figure that out when he actually found her…which he did much easier than it had been at the Temple.

She had been near the large refreshment table, surrounded by her Sunnydale friends. Max took a step towards the group when that Angel guy looked up…right at him…Max stepped back closer to the table deciding that it was much safer.

He bowed his head, looking at all of the pastries and other treats that lined the white cloth that adorned the table.

"So…" said a voice from his side, he looked up to see Angel standing next to him looking at the treats as well. "You're Zan, huh?"

"Uh…ah…no." Max said finally, unsure of why it took him so long to answer that time, he had always been so quick to remind Tess that he wasn't Zan. "Not anymore at least."

"Oh…" Angel said, picking up a small pastry and examining it. "So you think that just because you were different in your old life…it's not you anymore?"

"I…I mean, I'm not Zan." Max said, slightly confused by Angel's question.

Angel placed the pastry on a small plate before picking up another one, "I mean, about 50 or so odd years ago, you were Zan, King of Antar, right?" He glanced over at Max as the boy-king nodded, "And you died…so now you're Max Evans?" He asked again, as Max nodded, "And just because you can't remember your past, you think that just because you're a different person now than you were then…that just because you've lived a different life that you are in no way, shape, or form Zan?"

"Yeah…" Max trailed.

"Let me tell you something Max…" Angel said, placing the pastry down and turning to face Max. "I was born in 1727. I was Liam, son of an Irish merchant. I died; I became a vampire, a soulless being with a taste for blood. I admit I claimed many lives, not caring; I was Angelus, one of the most feared Vampires ever. Then I was cursed, or gifted depending how you want to see it, with a soul. I felt regret, anger, disgust at what I had done. I could have forgotten easily, could have moved on and left everything behind…like you…" He finally took his gaze away from Max, to resume looking at the treats, "But I chose to remember, I owed it to all the people I'd hurt, all the people I knew."

He grabbed a few more treats, turning to lean on the table, watching Cordelia trying to apply some make-up to Tess' semi-tear streaked face. "The point I'm trying to make is that I've lived different lives as well. I've died many more times than you. I was different then than how I am now. But that's no excuse to hide from my fears and my problems…you got me?" he asked looking over at Max.

He smiled slightly; the boy's gaze was fixed firmly on Tess. He realized the look on the boy's face, it was the same look he had when he looked at Cordelia before they got together…longing. Wanting to be with someone, but having everything holding you back. He could see that the boy was in love…he just didn't realize it. He didn't know that his feelings were being directed at the wrong girl. He had been in enough situations to know that abnormal people can never be with normal people. He looked at the history of all his friends. Vampire with slayer, Vampire with a soul with a seerer, Witch with a werewolf then another witch…the only exception to that rule seemed to be Xander and Anya…although Anya was human now so it didn't really count.

Angel started walking away to leave Max to think about everything that he had said. "Oh…" he said, turning around to face Max while still walking towards his girl. "You hurt her…I kill you…" He had said it with such a joking smile that Max wasn't entirely sure if he was joking or serious.

He watched as Angel wrapped an arm around Cordy while holding the plate of treats out before her. The group had started laughing slightly at the gesture, Max smiled, looking them over. They were all so different…yet Tess fit in perfectly with them all…

His gaze lingered on Tess as he looked over the group. She looked up suddenly eyes locking with Max's. He looked away, suddenly very nervous. He picked up a plate, putting a few pastries on them when the gentle pressure of a hand rested on his arm. He turned, expecting it to be Liz, only to find himself staring into the blue eyes of Tess.

"Hey," she said, voice still a little hoarse from crying, "Are you ok?"

Max's stomach knotted at that, here he was, the boy who always turned her away and pushed her away, and she still cared about him.

"Uh…" he stumbled over his words, for the first time unable to talk around her. "Yeah, I'm fine…you ok?"

She shrugged, "I'll live." She said.

"You…uh…you sounded good up there…" he muttered, eyes once again locked on her baby blues.

"Thanks…" she trailed, gaze locked on his. She looked as if she was about to say something more, but then reality set in and she looked away. "Look, uh Max…" she took a deep breath. "I get that you don't like me, I mean, I know you'll never feel the same way about me as you do with Liz…I get it. Destiny is just a thing of the past right? Anyway," she said, not letting him answer. "Do you…do you think we could at least be friends?"

"Uh…I…" he was at a loss of words. The jumble of emotions he felt at that moment was overwhelming. He wanted to tell her that he could never feel for her what he felt for Liz…he wasn't even sure what he felt for Liz anymore. He wasn't sure what he felt for Tess either. He wanted to be friends…finally…but he wanted to be more than friends. The thought of just being friends just didn't sit right with him. "Friends?" he heard himself ask, before mentally smacking himself…he hadn't wanted to say that out loud.

The small smile that had been on Tess' face, fell to a heart broken frown. She knew that Max loved Liz, he had made that obvious more than he needed to. She knew that she had really messed things up by talking about Destiny. But she thought that at least there was a chance of being friends with him…but now she saw that that wouldn't happen.

"I see…" she said, barely above a whisper. "I understand…" She turned and walked away heading back to her group of friends, leaving Max unable to come up with the word to tell her what he truly meant.

"Max?" a voice behind him questioned. Barely motivated, he turned to see Liz staring up at him with her doe brown eyes, "What happened?"

Max just shook his head. He looked up at the group, seeing Tess turn to look at him sadly. She tried to smile, but just couldn't seem able to make it real, before lowering her gaze and turning back to the group. He knew what happened, he had screwed up…royally…

A/N – Yay! Almost done, I think I have about two more chapters left. Next Chappy – Who will Max choose? Will the Sunnydale gang realize that Max just hurt Tess more than before? More important, has Tess reached the end of her rope, if there isn't any chance with Max what's to keep her in Roswell?