"Joe you are not responsible for what happened. You did everything you could to get me a hospital."
"But Ma'am…."
I interrupt Joe before he can continue. He must have had a similar emotional reaction to me wondering what more he could have done, what did he miss, etc.
"Joe you've been my driver for a decade you had just started as my primary driver after your retirement from the Army. I don't see how anybody else could have prevented what happened."
"Ma'am my primary function as your driver is not just to get you from point A to point B but make sure you are safe; that is the overarching job description. I failed to do that my job termination should be a formality."
I take a deep breath trying to find the correct words to make him realize this is noisy his fault.
"Joe if you feel you failed at your job I don't know what category I would fall into." Jack's deep voice carries into the room upon his arrival.
Before I can say anything Jack holds his hand up to stay my defense of him which he knows will come before turning to Joe to address him.
"Joe you saved Lisa's life by getting her to the hospital as fast as you did. And the rest was not in your hands the people that did this to Lisa are responsible not you."
"But, Sir it is my job to keep Ms. Stillman safe."
"You did the best you could and that's all anyone can ask for. You weren't negligent nor were you at fault. Hopefully, soon Lisa and I will have three nine-year-old boys to cart up and down and we will need you more than ever."
Jack's always had a way with words when the time calls for it. I can see his words had an effect on Joe and he might relent from his intent on resignation.
"Joe, I still need a driver and so will the boys. Going forward there will likely be a team of drivers as it won't just be me, Katie, and Lyndy that will need your services. Hopefully, you come to the same conclusion as my husband about that day because I trust you and want you to head up the new team to make sure me and my family are as safe as can be."
Jack's hand finds its way to the small of my back in support of my decision.
"Ma'am, Sir I would very much appreciate the opportunity to be of service to your family."
Joe thanked both Jack and me for the confidence we have in him before taking his leave.
My well is the gazebo tucked away behind Fairfield's magnificently landscaped garden. It extends over a sizable lawn and is concealed from the main house by aspen, fir, and pine trees with its stunning vistas of the Canadian Rockies' draped against the starry night sky.
The fire pit, which is my most valued item, was sitting on a table, crackling and burning like a beacon in the darkness of the new night to ward off the chill with its sweet grass aroma filling the air and curling tendrils of smoke softly drifting towards the forest. On the table were little plates, wine glasses, coffee cups, along with both of our favorite refreshments.
We settle into the porch swing thankful for the warm air cascading from the fire pit. I turn into Jack, wrapping my arms around him in an embrace. I need his strength and also need to make sure he is okay. He gives me a gentle squeeze. He looks at me and smiles a soft smile, lifting his hand and placing it against my cheek. I close my eyes and let the earth move beneath my feet and feel safe, strong, and protected.
"I hope you believe what you told Joe. The people responsible for this are at fault not you."
"I should have been with you at the hospital Lisa."
"Jack don't forget I'm the one that wanted a break."
"I should have never let you walk away from me Lise but that's another discussion all of its own."
"Even if you had been by my side the outcome would have been the same, Jack."
"Yeah, probably but it's hard not be blame myself, Lise."
"If you blame yourself you have to blame me too?"
"Lise you were drugged there is absolutely nothing you could have done."
"If that's the case, what makes you think you could have prevented any of these events from happening."
I can see the range of emotions from determination to anger and finally to some type of acceptance flitter across his face.
"I'd have locked you in our bedroom while you were pregnant and made sure you never left it; if I had my way."
I shake my head wildly, putting my hand over my mouth to prevent me from spitting out any real laughter. After a few seconds, the laughter subsides, but I can't stop smiling. He stares at me with a smile and a glint in his eye. He raises an eyebrow and then a smirk slowly etches onto his scruffy jaw line.
"Are you flirting with me cowboy or is this your way of telling me I'd have been on restrictive participation of daily life?"
He tilted his face towards my lips before exhaling "definitely both". The warmth of his breath on my skin brought a gasp to the back of my throat.
He leaned forward, draping his lips on mine, tantalizing as a whisper and warming as a fire.
Jack and I are both in the chef's kitchen, seated side by side at the little table, fiddling with our meals. While we wait for news, neither of us has an appetite.
"Lisa, Craig said you didn't have anything at all today not even a cup of tea or coffee. Please try to eat even a little."
I throw Jack a dirty little look he knows I hate when people invade my privacy.
"My staff sure are chatty with you."
Jack scoffs at my statement.
"Lisa they take your privacy pretty seriously. I'm your husband I have a few perks one of them is getting the inside scoop on your well being and that only happens when things are at breaking point."
I return the cutlery to my plate before leaning my head onto Jack's shoulders.
"You're not eating either."
Both our silverware fall onto the plate.
"True, but this steak and potato-eating cowboy can absorb not eating a few meals. You on the other hand cannot."
Jack wraps his arm around my waist keeping my head on his shoulder knowing that I hate not being able to do anything.
"Tim was at the house, he sure is made up about us having kids?"
"I can only imagine how he'll drive you to distraction teaching the boys things his way instead of yours. How did the girls take it?"
"They were horrified and outraged that this happened. But they are happy that we will finally get the boys."
"Katie and Lyndy doing, okay?"
"Yeah, I told the girls to give them the cliff-notes version."
Craig interrupts us by informing me that the boys' wardrobe has arrived.
Three huge wardrobes with items the boys would need are wheeled into bedrooms upstairs.
The look of amazement and confusion on Jack's face is a little amusing.
"Lisa, are all these clothes for the boys?"
"Yes, they will need clothes to wear. They likely have very little."
"But don't you think it's a bit overkill."
"No, I don't. Jack, they've been in and out of foster homes they have no one that solely takes care of them. How much can they have realistically?"
"I guess I didn't think of that."
"Please don't fight me on this. I just want to make sure they have everything they need. I want them to feel loved Jack."
Jack pulls me into his arms, guessing just how terrified I feel about being a parent under these circumstances.
I feel Jack stiffen knowing his next question is likely to have us at odds.
"Lise why have it all brought here and not to Heartland."
I let go of Jack knowing this is a conversation I have wanted to put off because it might actually blow up.
"You do know that there is no place for the boys at Heartland. This huge house has enough room and until we sort out something else this is where they'll be staying."
"So, you and the boys here, and what about me."
"That's up to you."
"What is that supposed to mean? And is this how we are going to be living, you and the boys here with me at Heartland."
Before I can get any words out Jack has stormed out after his outburst.
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