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by aprileagle

The pupil at school don't like Haruka very much. The wild tomboy. Until a new pupil comes into the class and conquers Haruka's heart easily. COMPLETE & REREAD

5. Chapter 4: Don't give up

Chapter four: Don't give up

"You don't have to do it."

Dark green eyes looked for some moments thoughtfully in deep blue ones. They were filled with tears and the smaller girl swallowed hard. She held the flowers in her arms tighter and shook her head. Bravely she smiled, but it looked so sad that Haruka had the desire to take her in her arms and to comfort her with all her love.

"No, it's okay." Whispered Michiru and swallowed again. Slowly, she opened the iron gate and took a deep breath.

Haruka nodded and followed her. To be right beside her. To hold her if she'd fall down. To comfort her if she'd start desperately to cry. To show her that she wasn't alone in this world.

It was a cold, but nice day. The sun shone from a cloudless, blue sky. The temperature had fallen and the grass was covered with white frost just like the needles of the firs which brought a little bit green to this grey place. Some birds sang happily and it was really peaceful here. You could hardly hear any cars from the street and the entire place looked as if there were someone whose job it was to take care of it. There was no waste on the ground and the plants looked healthy and strong. There was no weak firm and Haruka knew that it was a place she wouldn't be end up when she'd die.

I am born in the dirt, I'll end in it.

She ignored her sad thoughts as they suddenly stood before a big stone. It was white and it looked older than Haruka had expected. There were more than two names written on it and Haruka frowned.

"This is the tomb of the Kaioh family." Whispered Michiru and knelt down before the stone. "Here're my grandparents buried as well as my big brother." Carefully, she laid the flowers down and searched in her pocket for matches to lit the candle she had brought with her. "They all died before I was born." She declared as she felt the asking looks of her best friend.

"Here." Haruka went next to her on her knees and held up a burning match to help her with her candle. She saw how Michiru's hands trembled as she carefully but the burning candle before the gravestone. Then she folded her hands and started silently to pray. Haruka just kept sitting next to her and watched her in silence. Saw how the tears burned behind closed eyes and how they slowly ran down pale cheeks.

Haruka took a deep breath and lowered her head to wait what would happen next. She knew that Michiru needed her time to say good bye to her parents. To accept that they were dead. That they were gone - but at the same time that they didn't leave her. As long as they were still in Michiru's heart, as long as they were still in her mind, they hand't disappear at all. In her memories they would live forever.

Michiru asked her if she'd come with her briefly before school started. She said that she'd feel ill and so they both kept away from today's lesson. One look in deep blue eyes told Haruka that Michiru wouldn't be able to listen to Shakespeare nor Japanese grammar. That there were more important things than writing a test.

Michiru opened her eyes again and freed the flowers from the wrapping paper. She had bought them on their way to the cemetery and although Haruka wasn't keen on flowers she stayed by her side the entire time while the young shop assistant wrapped them, because she feared that the sea beauty would faint.

She's so pale today.

Carefully, Michiru put the flowers in a vase next to the candle and said another prayer. There were twenty white roses on the ground now, because today was her parent's twentieth anniversary.

I wish I could help her.

Haruka swallowed hard as more and more tears run down a pale face. A beautiful face. A face she wanted so badly to touch.

"They've always told me not to give up." Whispered Michiru and wiped away the tears. They were replaced by new ones. "Even when daddy got more and more ill as the time passed and the doctors looked more and more helpless, my mother always told me never to give up. That there was always a meaning why everything happened and... and..." the smaller girl took a deep breath and clenched automatically her fists. ".. and that there's always a way." She lowered her head and sobbed quietly. "I don't want to give up. But... but it's so hard without them... I..." Michiru covered her face with her icy hands and sobbed. "I miss them so much...!"

Haruka looked for some moments at her best friend and she felt how her heart hurt to see her so desperate. She ignored her inner voice yelling that she shouldn't do that. That she shouldn't take care of Michiru. That she shouldn't touch her again. Because it was only a matter of time until Michriu would find someone else and then Haruka wasn't important any longer. Because she wouldn't always be there and that it would break Haruka's heart to see her one day with a cute, rich boy who could give her so much more than she'd ever be able to. Because once Haruka had held her again she would never be able to let her go.

"Hush, Michi..." whispered Haruka and took her carefully in her strong arms. The smaller girl trembled and the sobbing went through her whole body. "They wouldn't want to see you so desperate." Tenderly, she stroked through sea green strands and rocked her gently.

"I miss them!" whimpered Michiru again and held Haruka as if she were her only life line. "I try to live with the pain but... but it hurts so much!"

"It'll decrease, believe me." Haruka stroked now over pale cheeks, wiped away hot tears.

I want to see you laughing again. You're so beautiful wen you laugh, Michi-chan.

"Sure?" Michiru raised her head and the tears sparkled in the sunlight like little diamonds.

She's a real princess...

"I promise." Answered Haruka and without thinking she leaned forward and kissed her tenderly on the forehead. Michiru's eyes widened, then she buried her face again on Haruka's shoulder and sobbed again.

What have you done?

For some seconds Haruka didn't know how to react, but then she simply kept stroking sea green strands. Caressing calmingly over a shaking back.

"I want so badly to believe you..." whimpered Michiru and suddenly wrapped her arms around the tall girl's waist and held her desperately tight. "I want..."

"Be patient, Michi. It will always hurt a little bit and you'll always miss them. But one day you'll be able to live with that pain and you'll be able to laugh again."

Michiru only nodded and closed her eyes. Her tears dried and she felt suddenly safe and secure in those warm arms. She didn't say anything for a long time, only feeling the tender hands stroking through her hair, hearing the soft voice whispering comforting words.

After another long time they parted, rose and left slowly the cemetery. Michiru blew her nose and it seemed to be natural that she grabbed for Haruka's hand to hold it tight. The tall girl turned her head and saw the brave smile on her best friend's face. Suddenly, the smaller girl reminded her of a small child who lost everything that had meaning for her. Suddenly, Michiru reminded her of her own youth.

I'll never let her be hurt again. I'll never leave her alone.

Haruka smiled back and squeezed the icy hand softly.

As long as she wants me by her side...

Soft wind played with the firs and it sounded like a whisper that went over the cemetery. The gate closed with a high, screeching noise and all that remained was silence. There was no human left on the cemetery. It was too early in the morning, the next visitors wouldn't come before noon.

So no one saw the couple standing before a white gravestone. Briefly glancing at the candle and adoring the white roses. The woman stroked over the blossoms and smiled tenderly up to her husband who took her hand and kissed it softly. Both turned around to look over to the gates. To see the two girls walking away.

The couple smiled loving at them, then they raised their hands and touched each other's cheek. In love. In never ending happiness. One moment later they were gone.

Because now they knew that their daughter was safe.

dbdbdb

"Aren't you hungry?" They sat in the empty class room and shared the bento Michiru made every morning before she hurried to school. Haruka had almost finished her part while Michiru had hardly touched anything.

"Not very." Admitted the smaller girl and watched the empty chairs around her. Her fellow students had gone to the cafeteria and so they were left alone.

"Nervous about your concert?" of course Haruka knew that there would be the winter's ball tomorrow evening.

The day after there'll be the competitions.

Haruka didn't know how to win the races, but she knew she had to. Somehow.

"A bit." Michiru smiled and reached for her milk to drink some gulps.

"Don't worry, Michi. You're so good, they will adore your play."

Will you adore it, too?

Michiru stared at the milk bottle in her hands and sighed deeply.

"Will you be there?" she asked silently and didn't dare to look up.

"No, better not." Laughed Haruka and turned on her chair to look out to the window. It was a cloudy day and the people on the radio expected snow. "It's a ball and that means that you need someone to go there. And I have no one." She shrugged her shoulders and bit into her sandwich. "Besides who wants to go to a ball with a girl who wears a tuxedo?"

If I had one.

Haruka shrugged again her shoulders and could see the disappointed expression on her best friend's face in the window's reflection.

I only have this uniform to wear.

"They'd use every chance to laugh at me and I can do without them."

"I wouldn't laugh."

Haruka frowned as she heard the sad voice, but before she could react had crashed Yakoto into the room and told Michiru that the conductor wanted to see the entire orchestra for a last rehearsal. Then she hurried on and you could hear her running down the corridors, although it was forbidden to run at school.

"I have to go now." Michiru put her books into her bag and took her violin case into her suddenly trembling hands. "I don't know how long it'll take and..."

"Don't worry, there'll be a last training with the athletic team, too." Mumbled Haruka, feeling suddenly very angry. Angry about herself.

Did she ask me out to the ball?

But she didn't dare to say it aloud. She only saw Michiru's sad face in the window's reflection and cursed herself when the door closed silently.

dbdbdb

"Well, let's see if you're so fast when it really counts, dyke!" laughed Masanori and pushed Haruka aside who reached for her sport bag. She stumbled and went on her knees. Briefly, she raised her head and her dark green eyes sparkled. But then she lowered her head and collected the few things she owned for sport.

"You are a dyke, aren't you? And such a person really thinks she can win our school competition? Forget it, you'll never reach the country championship!" he laughed even louder and some boys and girls around him started to laugh, too.

They won't provoke me!

Haruka bit on her lower lip and kept searching for her towel. Until she remembered that a cute doggy ate it with passion. She didn't want to cause a fight. Not so shortly before the races. Her shoulder had hurt so much the last night that she could hardly sleep. If he'd beat her now she knew she wouldn't be able to take part at the races anymore. Then she'd lose and be kicked out of school. Therefore, she kept silent and closed very slowly and very carefully her bag.

They aren't important.

"Are you dumb now? Stupid and dumb, that's what I always said!" grinned Masanori wickedly.

But still it hurts.

As the tall girl didn't respond anything Masanori got bored and so he turned around and left the gymnasium with his fan club.

"I am sorry." Stammered Elza and ran an unsure hand through her short, red hair. She was almost as fast as Haruka and Masanori didn't like her, too. She was too good for a girl and she often argued with him. But still she was too shy to defend Haruka, her greatest but also the best opponent she'd ever had. Haruka didn't laugh over her style when she was again slower than the tall tomboy. She even gave her tips to improve it.

"It's okay, Elza." Answered Haruka and stared motionless on her bag. "Better you go now."

Before anyone sees you with me and you're in trouble.

Elza nodded thoughtfully.

"See you tomorrow." She whispered and left the gymnasium, too.

I hate them. All of them!

Haruka clenched her fists and beat on the wooden ground of the gymnasium, not feeling the pain flashing through her body.

Why can't they simply leave me in peace?

But she knew they wouldn't. Not until she won the race and was finally able to have a career as a good athlete.

It's my only chance.

dbdbdb

"Who does she think she is?"

"To come here!"

"She doesn't belong to this school."

"Hai."

"She doesn't belong to us!"

"Exactly."

Haruka leaned against the wall and tried to ignore the rude voices around her. Of course she saw them staring curiously at her. At the old clothes she wore. At the worn out pants, at the simple old boots, at the warm leather jacket that seemed to be new, but it simply didn't fit the event: The winter's school ball. As every year it was the most important event for many schoolgirls to have fun with their best friends, to find a cute boy or to dance with their boyfriends. To show everyone with pride how beautiful they all were. How nice, expensive dresses their wore and how much time it took them to get their hair done.

This year some important guests were invited, too. Some famous people who donated a lot of money to the school. And so the food was more delicious than ever and the show programme was better than it had been any year before. The orchestra sat on the stage and played a soft waltz and many couples danced. Haruka watched them in silence and pushed her hands deeper into her jacket's pockets. She wanted so badly to dance with Michiru but she knew that rich girl would never dance with her.

"Look at her hairs. Surely she didn't even brush them."

"Brush? Tell me when she washed them the last time!"

This afternoon.

Haruka groaned silently and asked herself why she was here. She knew she didn't belong to all those schoolgirls. Into their shinning, glamorous world.

They're all swans.

"And her boots. No proper girl wears boots like these - even if it's cold outside!"

And I am the ugly ducky.

"Hi, Haruka!" suddenly, a smiling girl appeared in her dark thoughts and she winced as she felt a warm hand shaking her cold one. Startled dark green eyes looked into smiling light blue ones.

"Nice to meet you here." Usagi smiled and swirled around. "Do you like my dress? My mother made it for me." She grinned happily and lifted the long, white skirt. Her blonde plaits almost touched the ground and she reminded Haruka of someone. She simply couldn't remember whom.

"Hai, it's nice."

"I knew it!" She grinned with triumph in her eyes over to a girl in a red dress. Dark hair surrounded a redden face. Haruka frowned, but remembered her when they both showed each other their tongues.

"Your friends are here, too?"

"Hai, Rei goes to another school, but Makoto told her so much about a cute boy so she simply had to come." Usagi giggled and waved her hands to Minako who dragged a blushing Ami towards the buffet. Makoto held up a roll and it seemed that she explained them what it was made of. Ami blushed even deeper while she watched how Minako filled her plate - without any shame.

"There is that cute boy!" suddenly Usagi was very excited and pointed over to the most popular boy at school. Haruka only pressed her lips together as she recognized Masanori.

"Keep dreaming, Odango-chan. He's too old for you and who wants a girl who stumbles each time she tries to walk?" Suddenly, a tall boy with short black hair in a perfect dark tuxedo stood behind Usagi. She frowned and showed him angrily her tongue when she turned around.

"You! Why can't you simply leave me in peace?"

"I'd like to, but I want to have some juice and you're standing in the way!" he replied and grinned. She grinned back – in the same mad way.

"You baka!"

"You're the same baka!"

Haruka giggled while she watched them go. Usagi pretended to get a glass of orange juice, too, while the tall boy asked for an apple juice.

"Can't you just take what all the other students get?"

"I don't like orange juice! And you shouldn't shout at me! You're not my mother."

"I am very happy about this!"

They kept arguing, but suddenly Haruka envied them. Because it wasn't a real fight. They were only teasing each other. Maybe they didn't know it, but Haruka could see that they liked each other a lot, but would have killed each other before admitting it.

They're a nice couple.

Haruka sighed deeply and leaned again against the wall to stare over to the stage. Michiru sat somewhere between the other musicians in the first array and played with so much passion that she mostly closed her eyes. There were notes before her, but she hardly turned a page. It seemed that she knew all those songs by heart.

Slowly, the waltz ended and the couples turned towards the stage and applauded. The conductor stepped towards the micro and said something to the audience, but Haruka didn't listen to him. She only looked at Michiru who placed a small micro at her clothes and stood slowly up. There was no nervousness in her face, no hurry in her motions.

She looks happy.

Her often so pale cheeks were redden and her hands held the violin softly. Her sea green hair was hold together in her neck by a net of white roses and only some single strands fell over her shoulders. The evening dress she wore was very narrow and showed all female outlines of her slim body. It was the same deep blue like her eyes. And it sparkled the same. As if it were covered with tiny diamonds.

The conductor said something about a new song and that she would play it - alone. Only the piano that stayed on the stage, too, would accompany her. The conductor told them a title, but Haruka forgot it as soon as Michiru walked towards him. Walked? She seemed to float.

Briefly, they shook hands and then Michiru stood alone on the stage. The lights were dimmed and she was there in one single spotlight Her deep blue eyes searched the audience and a tender smile appeared on her face as she looked for some seconds directly into Haruka's face.

Did she really look for me?

Haruka blushed slightly and there was whisper around her. Excited whisper. But it died away when Michiru put her violin to her left shoulder and softly touched the strings. Then she closed her eyes and the piano started to play. In a clear way. Playing notes that reminded Haruka suddenly of a wide ocean. Of a deep ocean. Of an ocean only a few people could see.

She did come!

Michiru smiled and the first tender tone escaped her bow as it danced weightlessly over the chords. Suddenly, Haruka saw the independent wind playing with the strong waves. Wild wind but yet so calm.

I wish I could hold her again. I wish I could tell her about my feelings. I wish she would be there forever. Just playing. Being happy. Being mine...

Haruka swallowed hard as she heard again Michiru's voice. But this time it wasn't as angry as it had been in the small restaurant where she had played some songs with The Devils. Today it was tender and full of hope.

Silently, Michiru started to sing.

"In this proud land we grew up strong

We were wanted all along

I was taught to fight, taught to win

I never thought I could fail

No fight left over so it seems

I am a man whose dreams have all deserted

I've changed my face, I've changed my name

But no-one wants you when you lose"

Haruka sighed deeply and bit on her lower lip. She was taught to fight. By her parents, by her classmates. By the teachers. She knew she wasn't allowed to lose. Otherwise, it would be her end.

But I've failed so many times...

Each time her father beat her mother she had crept back into her room, listened to her walkman and pretended not to hear her mother's screams. Each time her father came into her sleeping room in the middle of the night she had sworn to herself to hit back, to defend herself the next time. But she didn't. She only covered her face and hoped that he was too drunk to hurt her more than only with his stupid belt. Each time the pain was too big in her soul to endure any longer she had promised herself to go to Yakoto and to tell her everything. To ask Mila for forgiveness and to go to the teachers to ask for help. But when she was finally at school she kept silent, too afraid of what would follow. Too ashamed of what had happened. Too proud to lose the rest of herself.

But she lost much more and now no one wanted her any longer.

Slowly she lowered her head and looked at her boots and at her dirty pants. She had changed her face two years ago. To be able to survive. But at the same time she made everything worse. Her father didn't want to touch her any longer - only with his belt. But all the other people didn't want to be her friend, either.

Friends?

She had stopped to believe in friendship two years ago. Until she met Michiru in the subway...

"Don't give up

'cos you have friends

don't give up

you're not beaten yet

don't give up

I know you can make it good"

Haruka raised her head as she heard the soft words. Michiru opened her eyes and for a moment it looked as if they were alone in the huge hall. As if all the other pupils didn't exist any longer. Michiru smiled tenderly and suddenly Haruka felt tears burning in her eyes.

Don't give up...

Michiru had said those words to herself at the cemetery.

Don't give up, 'cos you have friends.

Haruka swallowed hard.

Hai, I still have her.

"Thought I saw it all around

Never thought that I could be affected

Thought that we'd be last to go

It is so strange the way things turn

Drove the night towards my home

The place that I was born, on the lakeside

As daylight broke, I saw the earth

The trees had burned down to the ground"

Michiru closed her eyes again and took a deep breath. She remembered too well the day just two weeks ago. Haruka had had training and her uncle was out with Hotaru to the hospital, because the little girl had had another attack. Michiru took the bus and needed about two hours to get to the beach she had known so well during her childhood. She had walked over two miles to get to her parents' house. The house she was born in, just at the side of a huge lake. The biggest on earth. It was dusk and she simply couldn't go into the house. She was suddenly very afraid and asked herself if she'd ever be able to enter the house of her childhood again. It all seemed so lifeless, so dead. Even the trees growing around the house seemed burned.

I miss them so much.

Two tears were running down her redden cheeks and some pupils gasped, but she didn't hear them.

But I am not alone any longer.

Again she opened her eyes and looked again into teary green ones.

"Don't give up

You still have us

Don't give up

We don't need much of anything

Don't give up

'cause somewhere there's a place

where we belong"

She meant it. All the nights she couldn't sleep the song spun around in her mind. Therefore, she stayed up one night and wrote it down. In just two hours.

Somewhere there's a place where we belong.

She had no home any longer, but the longer Michiru looked at Haruka she wished to have one. With the tall girl.

Do I belong to her?

Haruka sighed deeply and clenched her fists inside her pocket. The desire to stretch her arms towards the smaller girl was almost irresistible.

"Rest your head

You worry too much

It's going to be alright

When times get rough

You can fall back on us

Don't give up

Please don't give up"

Michiru smiled tenderly and again Haruka felt the soft hands stroking through her blond hair. She wanted so badly to believe those words. That there was someone who would hold her whenever she fell down.

"'got to walk out of here

I can't take any more

Going to stand on that bridge

Keep my eyes down below

Whatever may come

And whatever may go

That river's flowing

That river's flowing"

Again Michiru saw the dark river beneath her, remembered her sad thoughts.

I wanted to jump.

But a shyly grinning girl held her back. Comforted her. Gave her new powers to carry on.

I didn't give up, because of her.

"Moved on to another town

Tried hard to settle down

For every job, so many men

So many men no-one needs"

Haruka bit on her lower lip. She moved to another part of Tokyo and tried to begin a new life. However, it didn't work. Not as long as she was too young to get good jobs. To earn enough money to get by.

And she knew that she wasn't the only one.

Just like the young mother who froze so much in the cold rain.

"Don't give up

'cause you have friends

Don't give up

You're not the only one

Don't give up

No reason to be ashamed

Don't give up

You still have us

Don't give up now

We're proud of who you are

Don't give up

You know its never been easy

Don't give up

'cause I believe there's a place

There's a place where we belong"

Again they looked each other deep into the eyes and both, blue and green ones, were teary.

I won't give up, because I have you.

Michiru swallowed hard as the piano died away and the bow danced for the last time over the strings. The last, tender note filled the hall and all that remained was silence.

I won't give up, because you're there to keep me going.

Silence and silent sobs here and there.

The next moment the audience started to applaud. It was like a bomb exploding and Michiru blinked as if she returned from a deep dream. She looked for some seconds shocked at the pupils, then she started to smile. It was the most beautiful smile Haruka had ever seen.

Don't give up, 'cause I believe there's a place, there's a place where we belong.

Haruka heard again the soft voice in her mind while she watched how Michiru took some flowers from an obviously moved conductor who searched for his handkerchief. She bowed before the audience and nodded as Yakoto came to her and embraced her for some moments and gave her a small present - from her and the whole orchestra together. The audience applauded even more and Michiru giggled over something Yakoto told her.

"She's so talented."

"Hai."

"That was... moving!"

There was a deep sigh around Haruka who still leaned against her wall, not taking her eyes off the sea green haired beauty in the shimmering evening dress.

"She's such a nice, friendly person."

"Hai."

"It's such a pity that she's so often together with that Tenô girl."

"Hai!"

"That dyke has no good influence on her."

"Someone should talk with her relatives where she's living now."

"Hai, before she ruins her future."

"I guess she simply feels guilty, because she sits next to the Tenô girl and she's never left one of her classmates behind when they needed help with school."

"That's okay. I heard Yakoto got better in Japanese grammar and they all like her a lot. But to help that dyke, that's too late. Her marks are too bad and the only thing she's able is to run. Ha! To run away!"

To run away!

Haruka swallowed hard and clenched her fists. All the happiness she had felt just some seconds ago was suddenly gone. She lowered her head so that she didn't have to look into those wrong smiling eyes and turned around. Slowly, she left the hall and could hear their angry whispers until the door was closed.

"She goes."

"At last!"

"Hai."

She sighed deeply and walked towards the tree she had sat down so many times when Michiru had come to her, had asked her about her homework and had learned English vocabulary with her. When the sea green haired girl had shared her bento with her and had talked to her about her problems and joys.

About Hime-chan...

Haruka took a deep breath and started to freeze. She raised her gaze to the endless sky above. She could see the moon shinning between heavy clouds. Snow clouds. Steam formed before her mouth while she breathed and she put her hands deeper into her jacket's pockets.

Do I really belong to her?

She had no idea, but she knew that she didn't belong to those girls. To this school. To the winter's ball inside the huge hall.

"Ruka?"

She winced wildly as she heard the soft voice suddenly behind her. She turned around and looked at Michiru who stood next to her on the frozen ground. She didn't wear anything over her evening dress and crossed her arms before her chest. There was no violin any longer in her hands, but still a tender smile on her face.

"Shouldn't you be in there and play?" asked Haruka and cursed herself immediately for her stupid question.

"No, it's now Robert's turn. He plays the piano so fantastically, therefore he got the chance to play a solo." She smiled and stretched her hand to take Haruka's. The tall girl stepped back and asked herself why she behaved suddenly so strange.

"Don't you want to come back, Ruka? It's cold outside."

Haruka swallowed hard and looked at the outstretched hand and then into deep blue eyes.

"Are you sure?" she asked and both of them knew that she didn't mean the bitter winter's cold.

"Hai." Michiru's smile grew wider and finally she took Haruka's icy hand. "See, you're already cold!" tenderly, she squeezed that hand. "Did you like my song?"

Haruka nodded and again tears burned in her eyes.

"Hai." she whispered, still hearing those soft words in her ears. Knowing their true meaning. The silent promise that stayed behind.

"It was wonderful." She took a deep breath and returned Michiru's smile uncertainly. "You are wonderful." It was nothing more than a whisper, but Michiru understood her, nonetheless. Slowly, she let go of Haruka's hand and raised her hands. Carefully, she touched still pale cheeks and tenderly wiped away two tears that had escaped dark green eyes.

"It's okay, Ruka." She whispered and saw how the taller girl blushed.

I love you.

Haruka swallowed hard, but she wasn't strong enough to say those words aloud. To show the smaller girl how she felt - and to be ready to live with the consequences.

I love you so much!

Hesitantly, she embraced Michiru and held her gently tight. She felt how she trembled and wanted to free herself to give her the warm leather jacket. But Michiru held her determinedly tight and again they stared silently into each other's eyes.

"You're cold." Whispered Haruka and her voice sounded strange in her own ears.

"But now I have you to warm me." Replied Michiru and stroked over now redden cheeks. Haruka blushed even deeper, but didn't turn away as Michiru stepped on her tiptoes. Their faces were now very close and they could feel each other's warm breath on their skin.

I love you so much.

Both closed their eyes as their lips met.

Haruka heard the warning voice yelling in her mind, but she ignored it. She held her Michiru tighter and repeated the tender kiss with all her feelings. With all her love she was too afraid to admit aloud. Automatically, she pressed the smaller girl tighter against her body and wished this moment to last forever. Until eternity. And even longer.

Michiru smiled as she felt how Haruka embraced her softly and she started tenderly to caress through blond strands she liked so much to touch. Her heart beat so strong inside her chest that she asked herself if Haruka would hear it. She felt a little bit dizzy - and happy.

Damn, it feels so good! So right...

"Michiru?"

They separated quickly as they heard the excited voice. Fast steps came running towards them and a breathless Yakoto crossed the school yard in a hurry.

Startled deep blue eyes looked into shocked dark green ones.

Explain it! Now!

Haruka swallowed hard and felt suddenly very alone. She wore her warm jacket, but now she froze like she never had before in her life.

And what do you want to tell her?

Tell her the truth!

So that she runs away, screaming?

But one look into Michiru's blushed face told her that she had already lost her best friend. Tears burned in deep blue eyes and the smaller body trembled.

"Robert's done with his play! Oh! He played so fantastic. And now it's our turn again. The others want to dance and they want a waltz - of course with you as the first violin." Said Yakoto and smiled happily at her, not seeing Michiru's confused look, her blushed face, her slightly messed hair.

"Okay..." whispered Michiru and shook her head to clear her mind.

"Come, you lazy chicken. There's still a lot of work for us to be done." Giggled Yakoto and grabbed her hand. Michiru turned around again to tell Haruka that she should follow her. But there was no tall girl standing next to the tall tree any longer. The place was empty, the wild tomboy was gone.

I have to talk to her.

Michiru chewed on her lower lip, still feeling the tender touch on her lips.

I have to explain it to her.

She swallowed hard while Yakoto pulled her with her towards the big hall.

Hope she understands it - and returns my feelings...

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She heard the voices around her in the dark. Whispering. Whispering excitedly. She took a deep breath and slowly walked towards the gate of the schoolyard. There were too many of them and she knew it. And she knew that she had no chance against them. Not in such an unfair fight.

Her right shoulder started again to hurt as she turned around and started to run as fast as she could.

Maybe even not in a fair one.

She heard how the engines started to roar behind her. To speed up. They came right after her. Suddenly she felt like a wild animal. Being hunted mercilessly by the big guys. Almost she wanted to laugh about this crazy thought. But she knew that it wasn't funny. Swiftly, she turned her head and saw five motorbikes at the end of the street. Their lights illuminated the night and reminded her of wild cat's eyes. And she was the helpless, weak mouse.

Shit!

She should have known better. They had only waited for a chance like this. Next to the school was a huge park, but hardly any houses with people that could help her. The next subway station was too far away and it was too late to catch a bus.

I don't have any money for a taxi.

She turned to the right and jumped over the railing and disappeared between the trees.

Again she saw the letter in her hands. The threatening words that they would kill her if she wouldn't keep away from Michiru. That she should leave the city if she hang on her life. But she couldn't simply go away. The same she couldn't simply stay away from her best friend.

Is she still my best friend?

Haruka wasn't sure what she should think about Michiru's reaction after the kiss. She didn't shout at her, nor did she slap her right into the face. But that wouldn't have been Kaioh Michiru. She didn't hit other people. She defeated them with her music and her words - not with her fists.

She's so intelligent.

Haruka gasped hard for breath and stood quietly for a moment on a small way between the trees. She listened carefully, but couldn't hear the motorbikes anymore.

Maybe they gave up.

Haruka swallowed hard as she felt again those soft hands messing her hair. Messing it so tenderly.

"Now we've got you!" yelled one of the men and suddenly there was a motorbike beside her. She winced wildly and ducked. His fist missed her head, but his foot kicked her right into her stomach. She groaned and went on her knees.

No, not this way. No, not this easily!

Her dark green eyes sparkled with anger as she clenched her fists and stood slowly up to ran again away. But the other motorbikes already reached her, too, and drove in a circle around her.

"We told you to go." One of the motorbike racers, he was the tallest of them, stopped and jumped from his motorbike. Two others followed him while the other two kept driving around and around.

"We've warned you even more than once!"

Haruka only turned around and tried to escape. She knew that it was senseless to fight with him. She was exhausted, tired and only one person. They were five.

But she didn't get far. The other two caught her before she could use the darkness and the shadows of the night to hide. Brutally, they grabbed her arms and forced her to stay where she was. Incredible pain flashed through her right shoulder and she bit hard on her lower lip to not scream out loud.

"Dyke!"

"Lesbian!"

They pushed her around towards their leader and held her arms even tighter. Haruka tried to defend herself, but she knew that it was senseless. They'd sooner break her arms than letting her go.

"Don't look that angry, it's all your own fault. We asked you so often to go - and especially to leave Kaioh Michiru in peace. But you simply wouldn't listen to me!" he said and hit her right into her face. Haruka lowered her head for some seconds and felt blood running over her lips. She swallowed hard, but her face was insensible when she looked again at his helmet.

"You don't control my life. No one does!" she declared in a cold voice. "Especially not someone who has to hide behind a mask and is too afraid to show is real face!" she spat at him and groaned slightly when he hit her again. Stars danced before her eyes and she knew that she had to use sunglasses the next day - if she'd ever be able to stand up again.

"You dare to talk about masks? Look at yourself, lesbian! You're wearing men's clothes, you cut your hair and behave like a boy. But you aren't one. You aren't a girl, either. So what do you think you are?" he bowed towards her and she could see his eyes through the helmet. Eyes sparkling with hate.

"I am me." She whispered and wished to cover her ears with her hands as he started terribly to laugh. She knew that wicked laugh. She had heard it so many times before...

Masanori...

Haruka's eyes grew wide and suddenly she knew that he beat her down not only because of her looks or her strange behaviour.

"Do you think it's fair to win the competition that way, Masanori?" she asked in a clear voice and fell the next moment against one of the boy holding her violently tight. She groaned as he kicked her right into her belly and her legs trembled. She went down on her knees, but the boys didn't let go. Her shoulder hurt even more and she asked herself when they would break her arms.

"Do you think it's fair to poison other people with your illness?" screamed Masanori suddenly very loudly and hit her again into her face. The pain increased, but she ignored it. She only stared down to the frozen ground and asked herself when it would be over.

Over at last.

"You kissed Kaioh Michiru! You tried to poison her, too, with your disease, you little bitch!" he grabbed her blonde strands and forced her too look right into his face. The helmet was somewhere on the ground and his eyes looked even more dangerous now.

Haruka winced as he kicked her again - this time a little bit lower than her belly. But she didn't scream. She didn't give him that last satisfaction.

"You'll never touch her again!" it was a threat but she didn't listen to him anymore. Black shadows waited at the rim of her eyes and she lowered her head again. To see the blood running over her old uniform.

Masanori must have opened my jacket.

She hadn't realize it, but she started to giggle over her crazy thoughts.

That's nice of him, because otherwise it would have become dirty, too. And it was so expensive...

She giggled even more until her giggle turned into quiet sobbing. But there were no tears in her eyes. Only blood that dirtied her pale cheeks.

"Tomorrow are the competitions and after that you'll have to go, don't worry. Then you'll be forced to leave." Masanori grinned madly at her and let her hair go, not without hitting her again right into her bloodstained face. "And don't worry about Michiru, I'll take good care of her. As a real man!"

He laughed and gave his partners a sign. Haruka felt how they let go of her and she simply fell down to the ground. Pain flashed through her body as her right shoulder touched the frozen underground and she closed her hurting eyes as Masanori climbed again his motorbike - still laughing wickedly.

"Have nice dreams, you bloody lesbian!"

Haruka didn't dare to move - even as the full bottle of beer hit her back. She didn't dare to move as they drove away. She didn't dare to move as they were long gone.

Because somewhere there's a place where we belong.

Again she heard the soft voice in her mind. Tears burned in her eyes as she finally started moved. Slowly, she came to her feet and reeled dangeroulsy. Her whole body hurt and her head wanted to explode.

I don't belong here.

Quietly, Haruka sobbed while she asked herself how she should get to her room. The pain in her shoulder was driving her crazy and there was still blood running over her face. But she was too weak to raise her hands to wipe it away.

I don't belong to Michiru.

Two tears ran down her cheeks and burned like hell in her wounds. Slowly, she stumbled over the path and tried to remember where to go.

I don't belong anywhere.

At that moment it started to snow.

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"The snow is so wonderful..." whispered Michiru and spreat her arms. She danced over the whole schoolyard. Yakoto who followed her had to giggled. The ball was almost over and they decided to go home. Her uncle would fetch her in about ten minutes; she had called him up and had promised Yakoto to take her home.

"Hai, it's so light." Answered Yakoto and giggled even more as Michiru put her violin case into her hands and started to dance on the frozen ground. Within so many flakes floating down to earth.

It's so peaceful here.

Again she heard the soft music in her mind and rocked herself in its rhythm.

I wish I could dance with Haruka this way.

Sadly, she looked over to the empty space beneath the tree. Sadly, that Haruka hadn't wanted to listen to her music any longer. Sadly, that Haruka had simply walked away and hadn't waited for her to finish her concert. Sadly, that she had had no chance to talk to her best friend today.

I don't even know where she lives.

Once she had asked Yakoto, but it seemed as if no one knew her address.

"May I dance with you!" It didn't sound like a question, more like an order. Michiru turned around and looked at the tall boy every girl at school admired. Yakoto made big eyes. Of course she had dreamed, too, that Masanori would once in her life ask her to dance with him.

But I am not like all those other girls.

Michiru shook her head and went over to take her violin case again.

I only want to dance with my Ruka.

"No, thank you, Masanori." She said with a friendly, but determined smile and grabbed the sleeve of Yakoto's coat. "Let's go home, Yako-chan. It's pretty late."

Masanori took a deep breath and held her back.

"You aren't like her." He whispered and it seemed as if he wanted to force her back into the huge hall. But she kicked right at his leg and freed herself.

"Are you so sure?" she asked with a dangerously quite voice, knowing whom the tall boy meant. Often enough she heard how he shouted at Haruka and often enough Elza had not the courage to defend her team partner.

They're all so stupid!

Her eyes sparkled as she quickly crossed school yard. Yakoto had problems to follow her.

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She leaned over the toilet and retched for a couple more times, until she fell again on her knees. She lowered her head and messed blond strands pasted to a sweaty, burning forehead.

That was it. There's nothing left inside my stomach.

But still she felt incredibly ill. All night she couldn't sleep and it took her incredibly much time to get ready the next morning. She knew that she had a fever, but she couldn't go to the doctor. Today were the competitions and she had to win.

She reeled as she stood up. Hard she seized on the door as she went over to the washbasin. Her dark green eyes shimmered feverishly. They were black and swollen. Therefore, she had searched for her sunglasses and put them on - although every one looked strange at her - because it was in the middle of December. She groaned as she raised her hands to wash her redden face. Half of the night she had tried to stop the bleeding and it had been very hard to bandage her shoulder again. She had taken the last painkillers she owned when she left her room, but still her arm hurt more than she could actually endure.

Shit! I have to win!

But she knew that it was impossible.

Even one hour later when she knelt before the sport teacher she knew that she wouldn't be able to win. Not in her condition. Not with her pain. Not with the dizziness that filled her mind.

Slowly, she raised her head and looked around into excited faces. Of course most of the girls hoped that Masanori would win and they cheered up as he took his place on the other side of the tack. Haruka was thankful for that. She didn't need his hurting words. Not now.

Where is she?

Haruka searched in young faces, but couldn't find the one she was looking for.

Where is Michiru?

Haruka's heart skipped a beat as she recognized that the sea beauty hadn't come to cheer at her. To hold her thumbs for her. To congratulate her to her victory.

So I finally lost the one and only friend I ever had.

It crashed loudly in her head as the teacher started the race. Her headache increased and suddenly she saw again her mother aiming at her. At the girl she never wanted. At the dyke no one ever loved...

She bit on her lower lip as she started to run. Her entire body ached and it was as if she ran through firewalls. She didn't want to run. She only wanted to lay down and die.

Don't give up.

That's so easy to say!

Her shoulder was driving her crazy and she could hardly breathe because of all the pain that filled her world. That would never go away. That would follow her until the end of her days.

Masanori grinned as he overtook her. She tried to give all she had, but she knew that it was not enough. Her powers decreased while the fever had increased at night and even as she had tried to bandage her wound she could still felt a warm fluid running down her arm.

Please, I am not allowed to lose!

Then she would be all alone. Then they would kick her out of school. Then she wouldn't get a neat education to get a good job. To get enough money to pay the rent.

She stumbled and more people overtook her. She heard the screaming of the people around her like through a thick blanket. Far away. As if she weren't part of this world any longer. As if she were only a watcher who could switch off the TV as soon as the transmission got boring.

There was a shrill noise that seemed to tear her head apart and she knew that the winner reached the goal. And that she wasn't the winner. She raised her head and smiled a sad smile as she recognized that Elza bet Masanori.

At least it's worth for someone.

Now Elza would take part in the championship.

Haruka reached the finish line - but she didn't care about it any longer. The people screamed even louder. In her ears it sounded as if they all laughed at her. At the dyke who finally lost. Finally they all would be able to throw her away - just like rubbish.

"I told you, bloody lesbian!" she heard somewhere Masanori whisper but she couldn't define any longer where he was standing. She only kept going. Straight ahead. To the exit. Ignoring Elza shouting after her. Ignoring the teacher's concerned looks. Ignoring the whole competition.

She walked and walked and walked. Until she broke down in the bathroom. She knelt in one of the cabins and gasped hard for breath while she held her hurting shoulder. Asking for deliverance.

No one wants you when you lose...

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I have to talk to her.

Carefully, Haruka closed her jacket and sat down on a bank before the great hall. The orchestra had an important rehearsal, because there had been a TV reporter at the ball yesterday and they wanted to hear the orchestra - and especially Michiru - again. Therefore, they quickly decided for another concert. It would take part tomorrow evening and it should be more perfect than the one yesterday.

Will she sing this song again?

Haruka lowered her head and stared at her boots. She was grateful for the jacket. Her uniform was still bloodstained; she didn't have the time to wash it the last night. So the dark leather covered it perfectly.

"Are you looking for Michiru?"

Slowly, she raised her head and looked into two grinning faces of two girls she could slightly remember playing flutes.

I want to talk to her. About yesterday. About...

"Guess you've waited in vain. She's already gone." Said the small one with long brown hair.

"Hai, she used the backdoor. She told us that she doesn't want to see you again." The other one was taller, with long blue hair.

"Better you go now, too. The hall is closing soon." They both giggled and walked away. Haruka sighed deeply and lowered her head again.

I went too far with the kiss.

Her heart hurt and it felt as if it were torn apart.

I didn't want to lose you, Michi-chan.

She gasped hard for breath and her look blurred slightly. Her entire body seemed to be on fire and she did sweat, although she trembled because of the bitter cold that seemed to fill her body, seemed to creep into her bones.

I loved you, Michi-chan.

Slowly, she rose and reeled over to the door to get out into the cold dusk. Into another stormy night. Into her bloody life she wasn't sure any longer if it was still worth enough to fight for.

I loved you so much...

Quietly she sobbed. Knowing that she already lost the sea beauty. Forever.

As fast as she could she put her violin into her case and grabbed her coat. The last girls had left the hall two hours ago, but the conductor rehearsed longer with her and Robert who played his piano during her song.

She pushed the door open and looked disappointedly around. The corridor was empty. There was no wild tomboy sitting around, waiting for her.

Surely, she's celebrating her victory.

Michiru had spent all day in the hall and there she hadn't been able to see the competitions. But she was sure that her best friend won, because no one was as fast as Haruka.

No one is as fast as the wind.

But Michiru was disappointed that Haruka hadn't waited for her. She wanted so badly to talk to her.

Maybe she isn't the way the other girls think she is.

Michiru swallowed hard and held her violin tighter. She wrapped her scarf around her neck as she stepped out into the cold night. It was snowing again and her uncle would fetch her up. It was now too dangerous for her to walk home in the dark. Especially when it was so slippery and so snowy.

Haruka hand't answered her questions when she had asked her directly. Michiru frowned and waved her hands as she saw the little girl running through the snow, throwing flakes into the air.

"Auntie Michi!" screamed Hotaru and flew into her arms. Michiru smiled and held her niece gently in her trembling arms.

Maybe she isn't like me...

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She felt terribly cold. Although she wore her gloves, her fingers were stiff and icy. On her way back to her room it had started to snow and now her hair was wet. Of course she had once got a wonderful cap from Michiru, but she must have lost it during the fight in the park.

I'll never see her again.

She reeled and crashed against a wall. Her legs felt like rubber and entire whole body trembled. The headache clouded her mind and tears burned in her feverishly sparkling eyes. Her face burned and the wind hurt on her hot cheeks.

You have to go on.

She took a deep breath and carried on. The world spun around, but she tried to ignore it.

Just one more street, then I'll be in my room. Then I can lay down on the bed and get some sleep.

Although, she didn't know how it should be possible for her to find any sleep. She had wasted all her painkillers for the stupid race she couldn't wind. But someone had told her once that sleep was like medicine. And it was the only medicine she could afford.

The hospital's too expensive.

She had no insurance, no money and she wasn't even sure if she'd make it to the hospital. It was a long way from here.

She sighed deeply as she finally entered the huge building and slipped along the dirty corridors. It took her an eternity to reach the third floor. Of course the elevator was broken again. And even if it had worked, she didn't trust it. There was no one around who would rescue her if she'd be trapped in it.

Just lay down...

She raised her key and tried to open the door. It opened for some inches, then it denied her entrance. Haruka blinked in confusion and tried it again. With the same result.

Nani?

She groaned loudly as she saw the chain. A big chain with a big locket she had no key for. There was a letter hanging on it and she grabbed it. Impatiently, she opened it with her trembling hands and groaned even more tortured as she read the few words.

"I have no money..." she sobbed and panic filled her mind. The letter said that she had one week time to pay this month's rent, as well as the rent for the following one. Otherwise, they would take her few things, sell them and get a new tenant for the room.

"They can't..." she shook her head and groaned as her headache increased.

Of course they can.

She knew that too well. They had written her more than one letter and reminded her to pay the rent, but she never did and so they finally closed her room.

But I want to pay!

Haruka reeled and went on her knees before the chain, still beating against the door.

I've worked so hard these last days.

However, her salary had never been enough to pay her rent. She had known it from the beginning that it would be impossible for her to get so much money - and to go to school and to eat the same time. But she had tried it, because she didn't want to go into an orphan's house and later... later somewhere else.

Slowly, she rose, because she knew she couldn't stay on the corridor. There were other people living here and most of them weren't friendly. She was very helpless at the moment and she didn't want that anyone used her weak condition.

I have to go now.

Haruka stumbled down the stairs, still holding her sport bag tightly in her trembling hands. It contained the last things she owned.

Not very much...

She sobbed as she stepped outside into the cold night. Still, it snowed and the cloudy sky didn't look as if the weather would change.

Where should I go?

She didn't have an answer. Therefore, she simply started to walk. In any direction that was as good at the others. As long as it would lead her out of this region of Tokyo.

Her pants were wet and she froze more and more with every step. More than once she stopped and retched. But there was nothing left in her stomach she could have thrown up. So she kept reeling. Some people stared at her, because they thought she was deadly drunk. But most of the them ignored her. How they ignored all beggars, whores and junkies who lived on the dirty streets of the big, shimmering city.

I have to ask for help.

It was the only clear thought in her dizzy mind as she slipped over the icy ground. More than once she fell down and it took her each time longer to stand up again. She knew that she wasn't allowed to lay down in the snow. That would have been her end.

Don't give up.

Maybe she would die this night. Maybe this was her end. But she didn't want to die where any beggars would steal the few things she had. She didn't want that they found her body naked on the other morning. Blue and stiff of the snow.

I have to ask for help.

But she didn't know whom to ask. She'd prefer to kill herself than going back to her raging mother. And friends... she had no friends. She didn't know where Yakoto lived now. They moved one year ago into a new house after Yakoto's father got a new job. And the rest of the girls...

They'd laugh at me.

I wouldn't laugh.

Again she heard the soft voice in her mind and two hot tears ran down over her pale cheeks. They were the only warmth she felt right now. But they were too small to warm her.

Michi-chan...

She knew she was her only chance. But she didn't dare to ask.

She didn't even want to see me again...

Haruka coughed and the school bag escaped her trembling hands. She bowed to pick it up as she recognized where she actually was. She swallowed hard as she raised her head and stared in disbelieve at the huge house she had got to know so well during the past weeks.

It's her house...

She sobbed quietly and stumbled slowly towards the entrance door. For about half an hour she stared at the door and at the bell and started even more to tremble. Tears burned in her eyes and she chewed on her lower lip until it started to bleed. However, she simply couldn't raise her hand and push the button. She simply couldn't call for Michiru and ask her for help.

I should have never kissed her!

The pain increased inside her shoulder and her arm felt suddenly warm. Haruka swallowed hard and sobbed even more as she turned around and sat down on the first step of the small staircase leading towards the wide garden. She had no power any more to raise and to walk away. So she simply kept sitting. She took her head into her hands and stared with empty eyes into the falling snow, slowly floating down to earth. It looked so peaceful and nothing could be heard. Only silence surrounded her.

It's just like Christmas.

Haruka lowered her head and more tears ran down her redden cheeks. Suddenly, she wished her mother had aimed better that day she had killed her puppy.

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"Kittens, I am coming." Giggled Michiru while she balanced two bowls with warm milk. Hotaru was too ill to hold cats inside the house, but the little girl loved them. So they fed the neighbour's cats, too. And Hotaru often observed them through the window.

But today the little girl already slept deep and tight and Dr. Tomoe sat in his own room and studied something he needed for his work. Michiru had already changed for bed as she remembered that she had forgotten to take something out. So she but her bathrobe over and went back into the kitchen.

"Oi, that's coooold." She said while she opened the door with her elbow and her back and put the bowels down. Still it snowed and now even their staircase that had a roof was slightly covered with snow.

"Guess it's going to be a white Christmas." Michiru said and patted a small black cat that came out of the dark and started greedily to drink. "Where are your brothers, small one?" Michiru patted her again and frowned. She could hear the wind playing with the snow flakes, the cat drinking the milk and some other cats slowly coming towards her. But there was something else she heard.

Someone is crying.

She turned around and froze in motion as she saw the figure sitting on the first step. She had wrapped her arms around her chest and leaned against the cold handrail. The pants and the jacket were covered with snow, the blond strands looked frozen.

"Ruka?" Michiru's eyes grew wide and the next moment she was by her best friend's side. Ignoring that she only wore her sockets and her bathrobe. All she saw was her best friend Haruka who was obviously in pain.

"Ruka?" she shook her head and gasped hard for breath as the tall girl slowly raised her head. Her cheeks were wet from her tears and she still wore her sunglasses. With trembling hands Michiru put them away and saw that the eyes were black and swollen. And that they shimmered with a high fever.

Someone hit her.

Michiru swallowed hard and stroked with trembling hands over wet cheeks, feeling the hot skin under her fingers.

Someone hit my Ruka!

Haruka only stared at her with an empty expression on her face as if she wouldn't understand any more what was going on around her.

"Hell, you have a high fever, Ruka." Michiru carefully embraced her and tried to help her up. Haruka was suddenly very heavy, although the sea green haired girl knew that her best friend was too slim.

"How long have you already been sitting here?" she asked, her mind spinning around with the strangest thoughts. With so many questions she knew she wouldn't get an answer, not yet.

Something warm touched over her right hand and as she looked down she saw that Haruka's right hand, which she held gently tight to support her, was covered with blood. There was a red puddle on the ground within the white snow.

"Hell, why didn't you ring the bell, Ruka?" she whispered in shock and tired to pull the blonde with all her powers into the warm house.

Haruka raised her head a bit and looked into deep blue eyes. Wondering why Michiru seemed to be so concerned. Wondering why Michiru helped her into her warm house. Wondering why Michiru didn't slap her right into the face - like all the others had done.

"No one loves me..." she whispered with a sob. Then she gave up and welcomed the black darkness that surrounded her.

Michiru stared at her in disbelieve as she fell hard into her arms. Then she started to scream very loud through the entire house for her uncle. For help. For hope.

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She looked so fragile in the huge bed. So small. So helpless.

Michiru bit hard on her lower lip as she watched how her uncle undressed her best friend and covered her shaking body with a soft blanket. Michiru had insisted to put Haruka in her bed and her uncle didn't ask any further. It was alike to him in which room the tall girl was, as long as he could take care of her.

At first, Michiru had asked him if they should better call an ambulance, but he only shook his head.

"I am a doctor, Michi." He had declared to her while he had taken all the things he would need from his room. "I've handled so many worse situation with Hime-chan that I'll be able to handle hers, as well." He shrugged his shoulders and added some moments later. "They can't do anything more for her in the hospital than I can do here - and here she has the best nurse on earth."

Michiru smiled sadly and sat down next to the bed to put a wet, cold towel on Haruka'she burning forehead. She winced when she saw how her uncle cleaned Haruka's left arm and connected it to a drip.

"To decrease the fever." He declared silently and stared again at the thermometer. It was too high. Then he looked into Haruka's face and shook his head.

"They hit her rudely." He whispered and stroked carefully over burning cheeks. Then he looked at Michiru who couldn't hold back her tears any longer.

"I didn't know about that, uncle Tarô." She whispered and wetted the towel again. Her uncle nodded and unbuttoned Haruka's shirt.

"She likes to wear boy's clothes, doesn't..." he said and his voice died away as he saw the bloodstained bandage around her shoulder and all the blood that still oozed through the shirt. He swallowed hard and briefly he and his niece exchanged glances. Both were very pale with a sudden.

"Has she ever mentioned..."

"No..." whispered Michiru and shook slowly, very slowly her head, not taking her eyes from the skinny body. From the bleeding body. "I've never seen any pain..." she frowned and felt again how Haruka had winced when she had embraced her. That time, she had thought the reason had been because Haruka had been afraid that she would think of her as a lesbian, too.

Very, very carefully Dr. Tomoe cut the bloodstained bandage away and took one of his soft tissues to clean and disinfect the wound.

"My goodness..." he whispered finally and turned around to get something from his big doctor's bag.

"Nani?" Michiru was even paler and suddenly she was thankful that Hotaru hadn't heard her shocked screams only minutes ago. That she still slept in her bed, hopefully dreaming something nice. Nicer than this horrible reality.

"I don't know exactly when, but someone shot at your friend, Michiru." Dr. Tomoe raised his hands and Michiru could see a needle sparkling in his hands.

"Shot..." she whispered in shock and looked in Haruka's expressionless, pale face. Automatically, she stroked over burning cheeks as if she wanted to comfort Haruka, although she knew that she wouldn't feel the stitches.

"Hai. She was lucky. The bullet went straight through her shoulder. Otherwise, she would be dead now. I don't think that she got this injury only yesterday or even last week. And with a bullet in it and without medical help she could have easily got a blood-poisoning." Dr. Tomoe took a deep breath, then he started to stitch the wound so that it would finally stop bleeding.

"She never... never told me..." whispered Michiru and again tears ran down her cheeks while she kept stroking those hot cheeks.

"She had known you for only... for how long, Michi? One month? Six weeks?" Dr. Tomoe looked briefly up and saw the rips under the pale skin, saw the slim belly and the thin arms. "She needed more time." He sighed deeply and was reminded of all the times her niece had invited the tall girl for supper. "How many time did you share your meals with her?" he asked and thought of how shocked he was when he had lifted the tall girl hardly half an hour ago.

"Don't know. Almost every day..." Michiru's eyes grew wide as she realized what her uncle wanted to tell her.

Is it true? Did you live such a hard life? In such a hell?

She caressed again over her cheeks while her other hand held Haruka's icy one softly tight. The one where the drip ended in.

You're so warm.

Michiru's sobbed quietly.

Please, open your eyes!

But she knew that Haruka wouldn't, not right now.

"Guess you've saved her from starving the way she looks." Dr. Tomoe shook his head and cleaned the stitches and bandaged the shoulder anew. Then he looked at Michiru and she saw suddenly anger sparkling in his dark eyes. Anger she had hardly seen there before.

"Hasn't anybody noticed how much this girl suffers?" he answered with rage in his icy voice. Michiru took a deep breath and frowned, feeling the anger raising inside her, too.

All night long while she took care of an unconscious Haruka she heard that sentence again and again in her mind. Knowing that she was as angry as she hadn't been before in her life.

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Her head was going to explode and her mouth was dry. She opened her eyes but all she saw was darkness. Something had been put over her eyes. It was nicely cold and wet. Haruka groaned slightly and wanted to raise her hands to take it away, but she couldn't. Something held back her arms. Both arms. She gasped for breath and panic filled her mind as she realized that she was tied to the bed. It was a soft bed with a warm mattress.

Where am I?

She wanted to turn her head to get rid of the cloth over her eyes, but the pain flashing through her body held her back. She moved her legs and started to whimper as she realized that she didn't wear her dirty, wet school uniform any longer. That she didn't wear anything at all, only some underwear that wasn't even her own, because it was too wide.

"No..." she sobbed and imagined herself in one of those houses she had tried to avoid all her life. To be the victim of those rude men who first caught their victims, gave them drugs later on and let them work for more drugs after they had used the victim for themselves at first.

"No..." She tried to fight, but she simply couldn't escape the bonds around her arms.

I don't want this!

Tears burned in her eyes and she gasped hard for breath. Her throat was dry and hurt terribly.

Please, let me die now!

Or was she already dead? Was this hell?

"Hush, Ruka. I am here." There was a soft voice she knew. From somewhere. The towel was removed and she stared blurrily into deep blue eyes, which were looking down at her in concern.

"Are you an angel?"

Haruka blinked as she saw a tender smile on a beautiful face.

Maybe she had really died and this was heaven. But why was she tied to a bed? And why did she still feel so much pain in her trembling body?

"Do you really think so?" giggled Michiru and Haruka asked herself if she'd said it aloud or if this angel could read her thoughts.

"Maybe..." Again she felt so tired. So endlessly tired.

The next moment the angel was gone and she was again alone. In silence and darkness. There was no light burning in the room. Her childhood's room. Maybe her parents never had had enough money to buy proper food, but she had always had her own room. With her own bed and her own window.

Am I small again?

Haruka frowned and wanted to turn around. However, she couldn't move. Her arms didn't seem to belong to her any more and her entire body felt so wrong.

Why again? I've always been a small child.

The door opened with a loud, crackling noise and she swallowed hard. Her throat was dry and panic filled her mind. Still there was no light, but she didn't need one. She saw his shadow coming towards her bed. Sitting down next to her and stroking through her hair. She swallowed again, but didn't dare to move. Something sparkled in the moonlight and she saw how he raised his belt over her head.

"Be friendly to me, Haru-chan." He whispered and she felt how his hand stroked over her cheeks, over her neck and over her breasts. "I am your father and you love your daddy, don't you?"

She gasped hard for breath and the pain increased inside her body. Her eye were wide open and she shook her head. Tears burned on her face as he touched her again and again.

"No..." she whimpered and tried to defend herself, but she couldn't. "No, leave me in pace!" she cried and tried to turn away. But her body was too weak to move.

"Hey, you've finally grown into a woman." He smiled the wicked grin she hated so much. "Finally, you're a woman..." again he stroked over her body and she asked herself why she wore so little. "You see, you'll like it."

Dark green eyes grew wide with panic, fear and disgust.

"Don't touch me!" it was a scream that seemed to destroy the night. But he only grinned at her and moved over her body. To touch her the way he hadn't when she had been younger. When she had still looked like a boy and he had hit her with his belt instead.

"Get off me! Get off!" she yelled again and tried to defend herself, but her shoulder hurt even more and she almost fainted from the pain flashing through her head.

"Please... please..." she turned her head aside and sobbed helplessly. "I am not your small girl... not a pretty girl... not... not a girl at all..." It had used to work. He hadn't wanted her, because she had looked too male. And when he had once tried to touch her, because she let her hair grow, wore short skirts and did a perm together with her best friend Yakoto, she decided to become a boy. To dress like a boy, to behave like a boy, to be one. She even cut her hair she had always wanted to wear long. She turned into someone completely different he hated even more than the pretty girl.

But at least he hadn't touch her. Only with his belt until she wore long pants and a pullover - even when it was hot summer outside.

"No..." her voice died away and suddenly a light was switched on. From one moment to the next he was gone. Simply gone. As if he had never been there. She felt how someone took her carefully into warm arms. But she wasn't afraid of that touch. It was gently and full of love.

Love? No one had ever loved me.

Her eyes were full of tears and she saw a blurred face as she raised her head. Again there was her angel. Stroking in a calming gesture through her blond stands, whispering comforting words. She didn't understand them, but she knew that they were lovely. They simply sounded so soft.

"Where have you been all this time?" she whispered and sobbed even louder. "Where have you been, my angel?" She saw tears in deep blue eyes, as well, but still couldn't understand their meaning. She only felt those soft hands and the comforting embrace.

Then there was another shadow. But she wasn't afraid of him. Not when her angel was by her side. The shadow moved her arms and she wanted to scream out in pain. But somehow the shadow did something and the pain was gone within the next moment.

Again darkness surrounded her and she couldn't do anything else than letting herself fall. She knew that her angel would catch her. There was one last thought that flashed through her mind before she went back into the cold night.

"Don't leave me again, angel..."

She didn't even notice that she did say it aloud.

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"Shall I call the school and tell them that you're ill?" Dr. Tomoe stroked carefully over his niece's hair and looked into tired, red eyes. Michiru had cried a lot during the last night and she had looked more and more shocked after each feverish nightmare the tall girl went through.

Then the fever increased more and more. At that moment, Dr. Tomoe had decided to give the blonde some more pain killers. Two injections and she could finally sleep deep and tight. Still, she had high fever, but it wasn't dangerous any longer.

Michiru raised her head and looked out of the window. It was almost dawn.

Strange, how many hours have passed since I've found her on the staircase?

"No, today's the concert. I can't miss it." Michiru looked again at Haruka and shivered as she remembered the desperately whimpered words.

Are they true?

She thought of the laughing girl she had once seen on Yakoto's picture. Then she thought of Mila and all the other pupils who had only laughed at the tall girl. At the dyke. At the lesbian. Without knowing what they did to her. To a poor, hurt soul.

Slowly, a thought became more and more clear in Michiru's mind. Carefully, she rose and faced her uncle.

"Only this concert, uncle Tarô." She declared as she saw her uncle's concerned look. He was almost as tired as she was. But he was lucky, he could work at home if he wanted to, to do his research in his private lab in the cellar.

"Okay, but after that I'll call your headmaster and you'll stay in bed, too. You don't look very healthy to me, Michi."

Michi... that's how she's called me, too...

"Are you..."

"Hai, I am here to take care of her, Michi. Don't worry."

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The phone rang three times, then someone answered it.

"Takada-san? Konnichi wa, here's Kaioh Michiru."

"Please, Takada-san, can you do me a favour?"

"Arigato, Takada-san. You're a real friend."

Ten minutes later the phone went silent again.

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"Michiru! At last! We've already feared you wouldn't come!" Yakoto frowned as she saw into the tired face of the popular violinist. She frowned even more as she saw the guy who followed her. He had long black hair and looked a lot older than the sea green haired girl.

"Who's that?" she asked.

"Takada-san. He wants to hear my song." Smiled Michiru and wrapped herself deeper into her white coat. She already wore her micro on her clothes and she knew that Takada-san would do everything to get it to work.

"Well, however, all are out there. We've already played the waltz and we all have been very concerned about you. That you wouldn't come at all." Yakoto frowned again and swallowed hard. "Are you ill, Michiru?" she asked in concern and Michiru took a deep breath.

Why do you ask me that, stupid! Why haven't you ever asked Haruka?

"I guess I caught the flu. That's why I've missed school this morning. But I thought that I couldn't let you down – that's why I am late. I've been to the doctor before." She smiled friendly and put her violin case down. "Our master can start with his speech, just gimme five seconds to get my violin ready."

Yakoto nodded.

"You're so nice, Michiru. You even come to play for us when you're feeling ill." She turned around and ran out to the stage.

You'll hate me when all this is over.

Michiru took a deep breath and looked briefly over to Takada-san. Then she nodded and he disappeared somewhere in the backstage area.

And I hope you'll hate yourself, as well.

Again she took a deep breath, stripped her coat and stepped out through the curtain on the stage as the conductor said her name.

For a moment there was dead silence. Then the audience became even quieter if that was possible. A lot of pale faces stared at her in obvious shock. At the strange uniform she wore.

It was different from the ones the boys wore. The short white shirt wasn't put into the long pants. The sleeves of the jacket were ripped off and now it looked more like a waist coat.

Right now, she looked wild. Untouchable. Unreachable.

Just like the person who normally wore this uniform. It was too long for Michiru and the pants covered her shoes completely. But that wasn't the detail that shocked them so much. Not even that Michiru had hold her hair together in a plaid so that she looked like a boy. The fact that shocked them to almost to death was the blood that covered the uniform all over. Dried, dark blood, but certainly human blood.

Michiru raised her violin to her left shoulder and looked directly into pale, shocked faces. No one said a word. No one held her back. No one pushed her off the stage.

"This song is for the most important person in my life." Whispered Michiru but through the micro they all could hear her words. She turned around and gave Tukasa-san a sign. Some seconds later the music started. The whole afternoon he and his band had recorded a tape. There were all instruments in it: Electrical guitars and drums. Only the violin was missing. And a soft voice.

Michiru turned again towards the audience and started to sing in a voice that wasn't very soft any longer. Now it was full of anger. And disbelieve.

"I'm gonna find another sky

I wanna go where no one else will go

But I hear another voice telling me to stay

I'm looking for another sky

I'm so tired I can find no sleep

I can hear another voice telling me to go

Find yourself another sky

Move your bottom

Stop to cry

Find yourself another sky

You gotta ride before you fall

Find another sky

I start to breathe

Under another sky

My sky"

They had to find another sky. For themselves. To find new strength and to carry on. Finally to live a life that hadn't been worth living during the past weeks. Michiru swallowed hard as she thought of her best friend lying so fragile in her huge bed. Gasping hard for breath.

Or for the past years...

Haruka had wanted to find another sky. But she simply couldn't move away. There was no one calling for her, but she simply didn't have the possibilities she had had after her parent's death.

Oh, Ruka...

"I don't wanna change my face

So I change the life I used to live

I'd rather be a smaller fish in a bigger pond

We talked and talked so many times

To move away and leave it all behind

I don't wanna sit and wait

I feel it's time to go"

No, Haruka wasn't the one who should change her mind. She was the way she was. Although Michiru wished to see her happier. To see her laughing more often.

Haruka wasn't the person who was wrong. The others were. All those people who had called her a lesbian and had hated her for being herself. Who had thought that it was a sin to look like a boy, to fell in love with another girl. Simply to try to survive.

None of them has noticed how much she had to suffer!

Michiru swallowed hard and her voice became even more aggressive. Louder with every single word she sung. Her bow danced with all her rage over the strings and her instrument sounded threatening over the drums and the guitars.

"Find yourself another sky

Move your bottom

Stop to cry

Find yourself another sky

You gotta ride before you fall

Find another sky

And my fear is all I fear

And my fear is all."

She took a deep breath as the last note screamed away. She put the bow down and looked for a long time into the audience. Several white faces stared back at her. With opened mouths and big eyes.

And my fear is all I fear.

Michiru swallowed hard as she thought of how Haruka's nightmares had become worse and worse. How she had tried to beat around herself until they had no chance than to tie her to the bed, so that her wound wouldn't break up again. How Haruka had stared in her fever at someone only she could see - and she had obviously been very frightened of that person. How the tall girl had whimpered and even screamed in pain and fear. How she had broken down, sobbing whenever Michiru had been able to bring her back into reality and to hold her right.

She's called me her angel...

Her angel who should never leave her again.

Michiru swallowed hard and slowly lowered her hands - still holding the violin.

"You all let her suffer." She whispered, but the micro carried the words through the big hall. Michiru didn't see the journalists' cameras, nor did she see the major and the council, all very pale and very, very shocked. "I am ashamed of all of you!"

With those words she ripped the micro from her, no, from Haruka's shirt and jumped off the stage. Still, no one reacted. Still, no one whispered. Still, no one seemed to breathe.

Michiru went straight to a tall boy sitting in the first row. She leaned over him and grabbed his collar, hard. Her deep blue eyes sparkled with hate and suddenly she looked like a goddess. A goddess of revenge.

"If you ever touch her again, I'll kill you."

Masanori gulped, because he suddenly knew that she meant her words. He turned his head slightly - just like the other people, too - and watched how the sea green haired girl left the huge hall. And this school.

Probably forever.

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She sat there on the edge of the bed and held a sweaty hand tenderly in her own one. She knew that the blonde wouldn't awake during the next hours. Her uncle had given her another injection just ten minutes ago.

Michiru smiled sadly at her Haruka and stroke carefully over the sweaty skin.

"Don't give up, Ruka." She whispered and smiled a sad but loving smile.

"Because here's the place where you belong."

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