Disclaimer: I do not own LotR.

A/N: thanks to SpartanTrilogy15 and Nelarun for your reviews! Now the REST of you people need to review! (just kidding, but reviews are appreciated by any author)

What would happen if Galadriel was like Legolas?

SCENE-Lorien. The Fellowship is leaving

GALADRIEL: What would a dwarf want from me?

GIMLI: I want one hair from your golden head.

GALADRIEL: (GASP) Never! (starts crying)

GIMLI: I only want one!

GALADRIEL: NO! (slap) Not my beautiful precious hair!

GIMLI: It's not a big request!

GALADRIEL: How can you say that? I spend 5 hours a day taking care of my hair to make it shiny and silky and perfect, and now you're asking me to either cut or pull one of my beautiful hairs out? If you want a hair, talk to Aragorn. He'll let you have one, you can wash it, and then one of his hairs will actually be CLEAN!

ARAGORN: HEY!

GIMLI: I want one of your hairs! It's just a hair!

GALADRIEL: I'll show you just a hair, you stupid smelly dwarf! HYAH! (starts karate chopping, elvish fashion of course)

GIMLI: (armed with a razor) You know, I was only going to take one hair. Now I'll take them all! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Shaves Galadriel's head)

GALADRIEL: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (faints, goes into a coma, dies bald)

GIMLI: (holds up Galadriel's hair, which is no longer attached to her head) IT'S MINE! ALL MINE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Runs away)

FELLOWSHIP: (stares after Gimli in shock)

FRODO: He killed the Lady! Let's get him! (Unsheathes Sting and runs after the maniac dwarf)

BOROMIR: (Blows the Horn of Gondor and unsheathes sword) Right behind you, Frodo! (runs after Frodo and the maniac dwarf)

LEGOLAS: Wait for me! (Runs lightly in that "I'm such a hot elf" fashion after Boromir, Frodo, and the maniac dwarf)

SAM: (what else would you expect him to say?) I'm coming, Mr. Frodo! (Grabs handy-dandy frying pan and runs after Legolas, Boromir, his boyfriend…oops, I mean, Mr. Frodo, and the maniac dwarf)

ARAGORN: She said I was dirty! (pouts and looks waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too cute for his own good)

CRAZED FAN-GIRL: (Appears in flash of green light) Gotcha! (Captures Aragorn) He's mine! ALL MINE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Disappears with Aragorn, who is never seen again)

MERRY AND PIPPIN: (stare in shock)

MERRY: Should we follow them?

PIPPIN: (nods)

MERRY: Okay. (starts to chase after Sam, Legolas, Boromir, Frodo, and the maniac dwarf)

PIPPIN: Merry?

MERRY: What, Pip?

PIPPIN: I'm hungry.

MERRY: Shut up, Pip.

PIPPIN: Merry?

MERRY: (gives Pippin the "My God, why am I stuck with such an idiot?" look) What?

PIPPIN: I thought elves were immortal!

MERRY: Not when you mess with their hair, I guess…