Okay so it's been a while since I updated again BUT THIS TIME IT'S A LONG CHAPTER SO IT'S JUSTIFIED, RIGHT? RIGHT?
On top of that I also went away on holiday the weekend just gone, and I actually took my iPad along so that I could write in the evenings, and because of that I am able to deliver this chapter today, tah-dah! Plus my back's killing me cause I have a pinched nerve, so I really pushed through today and wrote the last 5000 or so words for this chapter. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing some of the scenes!
Edelweiss Say I'll Be with You Till the Day You Leave
Chapter Eight: The Pros and Cons of Being a Superhero
Amelia stood at her son's bedside, watching his eyelids flutter ever so slightly, the only hint that the boy was beginning to stir after such a long slumber. Very soon he would wake up and likely begin coughing his lungs up again; sleep was the only respite Kari had from the incessant ache in his throat that caused the insistent need to try and dislodge it. He'd have no such luck, Amelia surmised, not for a while. It would probably be weeks before he was fully recovered, and that was including the natural advanced healing passed down from his Jotun heritage.
She stroked the back of his bandaged hand idly, her eyes dragging over every visible burn and cut on Kari's body, the sound of the heart rate monitor steady in the background. She didn't know how the boy managed to sleep with the continuous noise right in his ear, but she supposed it became almost easy to drown out when it was so constant.
Beep, beep, beep.
Amelia was glad for the noise. It was a reminder that her son had survived the ordeal.
But he hadn't survived unscathed. Not including the physical injuries of his body, Amelia couldn't help but wonder what might happen to his mental health after all this. This wasn't the kind of event a child could just brush off, it was going to have a profound effect on Kari, Amelia just knew it, and Loki sure as hell hadn't done anything to help with the initial shock the boy must have felt upon waking in a hospital bed, the flickering memories of burning fire surrounding him from all angles slowly receding.
Amelia felt hot, like she herself was in the middle of a burning building.
Beep, beep, beep.
"You're gonna be okay, bug, you're gonna be okay," Amelia whispered, but she didn't know if she was repeating the mantra to try and comfort Kari, or if she was repeating it for herself. Trying to persuade herself that all would be well.
Beep beep beep.
The steady sound of the heart rate monitor broke its rhythm, increasing speed, and Amelia's eyes widened as she gripped Kari's wrist, suddenly feeling that his skin was uncomfortably hot to the touch.
"Kari? Kari!?" Amelia lurched forward, pressing a hand to the boy's forehead and recoiling when the heat radiating from his skin felt almost like it would burn her.
Beep beep beep!
"Nurse!?" Amelia cried, "Someone, help!" She took her eyes off her son, scanning the room for one of the on-duty medical staff that were supposed to be close by at all times, but the room was empty.
"Ma… ma-"
Amelia whipped back round, facing her son with terror in her eyes as he tried to speak through the hoarseness in his throat.
"Baby, hold on, it's okay! I'm here!" Amelia stammered, trying desperately to assure her son.
Beep beep beep beep beep beep-
A fiery blaze erupted from Kari, like he was spontaneously combusting, and it engulfed him, bringing forth the most awful visual image Amelia could only imagine, she screamed as she was tormented by the sounds of her boy's agonising shrieks, his hand reaching weakly out of the wall of flames.
Amelia jolted upright in bed, a breathless cry still leaving her lips, "NO, no!" She gasped for breath, her heart pounding below her ribcage, and slowly she became conscious of the wake-up alarm she'd set the night before.
Beep beep beep beep beep beep-
Amelia slammed her hand down on the off switch with a disturbed cry, angry at her own mind for inventing such a terrible nightmare. With her other hand, she pawed blindly at the other side of the bed, searching for the comfort of her husband, but instead being greeted with the cold and empty mattress beside her.
It took her a moment to remember that she was not in her bedroom, and that Loki had not slept beside her.
She blinked away tears, collapsing back against the pillow as she wiped her hands down her face. The residual imagery of her nightmare still haunted her, refusing to fade like other nightmares tended to, and she stammered aloud to the quiet room, "F.R.I.D.A.Y, is my son okay?"
The sound of the A.I rising from sleep mode was characterised by a few innocuous beeping noises, "Kari's vitals are perfectly normal and he continues to rest."
Amelia slumped in relief, sniffling as she tried to blot out the awful things she had seen; the clock read seven o'clock in the morning, it was about time she got up and saw to her children, even if the underlying exhaustion in the back of her head called for her to lay her head back down and close her eyes.
She couldn't sleep off her fears, she was too afraid to close her eyes again, scared that her nightmare might return once more.
Amelia got up from the bed and wrapped herself in her dressing gown, blinking her bleary eyes as she went. She could feel that they were puffy and dry from crying herself to sleep, but she hoped that her children wouldn't notice. She would come back for her blanket and pillow later, assuming Loki was going to apologise for his horrible words the night before, and if not, well, she was going to have to spend another night alone in this spare room.
She left the room and took the elevator, stepping hesitantly out into the hallway when it reached their floor; Amelia paused at the door to her and Loki's bedroom before deciding against entering. She wasn't in the mood to face her husband just yet, she didn't even know if he was in there, but she'd rather avoid the headache of checking and risking waking him up.
The most likely scenario was that he was in the training room, but on the off chance that he wasn't, Amelia pressed on to Daisy's bedroom, feeling a flicker of guilt over the fact she hadn't had time to check on her before heading to bed last night.
Daisy was still lightly snoring when Amelia stepped into the room, it warmed Amelia somewhat to know her youngest had managed to sleep soundly despite the disturbance of the day before. She crossed to the bed and gently sat on the edge of it, softly shaking her daughter's shoulder to wake her from her sleep.
"Good morning sleepyhead. Rise and shine," Amelia spoke quietly, smiling to herself as she brushed Daisy's hair from her face.
It took a moment for the girl to stir, but eventually she blinked her eyes open and looked up, squinting tiredly at her mother, at which point her lips formed a sweet little smile in return.
"Hi mama," she whispered through her sleep haze.
"Hi baby," Amelia stroked Daisy's hair, "do you wanna see how your brother's doing this morning?"
The promise of seeing her ill brother woke her up a little quicker and she nodded as she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, "I wanna see Kari." She patted the bed beside her as if searching for something, then lifted up the duvet cover to look beneath it, pulling free Kari's toy kangaroo.
"Aunty Nat got this," Daisy pointed out, cuddling the kangaroo to her chest, "I want to give him it!"
Amelia cupped Daisy's face, brushing her thumbs against her cheeks, "You're a little sweetheart, you know that? I'm sure Kari would love to have kangaroo with him to make him feel better. Come on, let's get your teeth brushed then we can see if your sister is awake, and we can all go visit Kari."
Daisy was eager to remove herself from bed, following her normal morning routine while every so often proclaiming that they 'must hurry' because Kari had to be wondering where they were. Aster was thankfully awake when they knocked on her door, and it wasn't until all three of them were on the way to the infirmary that little Daisy suddenly realised who was missing.
"Where's dada?" Daisy asked, peering up at her mother as she pet the kangaroo toy she was clutching to her chest. Aster looked up as well, pinning Amelia with a curious look, and Amelia wondered if her eldest daughter somehow knew that there was tension between her parents.
Amelia hummed as if pondering the question, "I think he's training."
In reality, it was far too suspicious for Amelia to not know exactly where her husband was and what he was doing; they all had a solid routine that they stuck to and if anything altered that routine, there was clear communication between everyone, so for Amelia to appear uncertain of where Loki was - well, it was never going to be a satisfying answer for Aster.
The teenage girl frowned, able to sense at once that something had happened, and Amelia wanted to kick herself for not being a better liar.
"Dada's not visiting Kari?" Daisy questioned softly.
Amelia didn't truthfully know the answer to that question. She hoped Loki would come to apologise to his son, but the God of Mischief was far too stubborn and prideful to admit he was wrong - which he most definitely was - so first, Amelia needed to figure out a way to convince him that he was, in fact, being an asshole.
"He will," was all Amelia said.
Upon reaching the infirmary, Amelia was the first to breathe a sigh of relief when she found that her son was awake, sitting upright in his bed, with a little bit of colour to his cheeks. He was eating cereal slowly, looking down at the bowl like he was bored more than anything else; for Amelia, this was reassuring, because seeing her son bored was better than seeing her son in pain.
Instead of the oxygen mask he'd had last night, he now had a nasal cannula delivering fresh air to his breathing passages. The nurse must have changed it at some point that morning after assessing the state of Kari's health when he awoke. It seemed that Kari was already beginning to mend, a perk of advanced healing inherited from his father, but Amelia would not feel the full alleviation of her fears until she saw him running and jumping around without a single cough escaping him.
When Kari saw his mother and sisters, he gave a small smile. Amelia watched as Daisy rushed to the side of his bed and patted his arm gently, a soft and gentle gesture, because the girl knew that it was important not to be too excitable with someone who was unwell. She offered up the kangaroo toy and Kari took it, his smile becoming stronger and more fond; he patted Daisy's head in return, thanking her for bringing it.
Aster approached the bed but gave him space, watching her brother closely with a scrutinising yet considerate gaze; she looked glad that he was up and awake, the rigid worry Amelia had identified in her the day before had dissipated from her body, leaving only light concern.
Kari continued to cough often, hardly able to get a sentence out without one erupting from his chest, so he tried not to talk so much - something that seemed rather difficult when Daisy was asking him so many questions and constantly repeating 'are you okay?' every time the boy hacked and rasped.
The nurse said the coughing would continue for a while, and that there was a moderate chance of a chest infection, but they would monitor Kari closely and consider a round of antibiotics if the signs of infection began to show. Amelia definitely didn't miss the twinkle in Kari's eyes when the nurse informed her within earshot of the boy that he would most likely be missing several weeks of school while he healed.
Aster didn't miss it either, and she gave her brother a sceptical look and said, "You do realise this means you won't get to see Louis for weeks, right?"
The shine in Kari's eyes dulled and he frowned, staring down at his lap. It seemed not seeing his best friend was the one huge downside to being too unwell to go to school, and it wasn't like Louis could visit Kari at home, thanks to their family secret.
"Have you… talked to him?" Kari managed to ask.
"I've been messaging him and Autumn, just letting them know that you're not dead," Aster gave a sarcastic smile, one that Kari returned with a humorous snicker.
"Well, you can tell him that- that I'm good and I'll call him… when I get the chance," he stammered, trying to fight the urge to cough.
Amelia stepped away from the nurse and came to Kari's bedside, standing beside the chair she'd been situated in the night before - it was now occupied by Daisy, who wanted a higher place to perch so that she could see her brother more easily - and noticed the twisted up candy bar wrapper on the bedside table. She quirked an eyebrow, wondering where Kari had acquired a king-size snickers bar, and her gaze flicked to his face; Kari looked like he'd been caught doing something naughty, but he squashed down a smile and looked briefly at his sister, who smirked as they locked eyes.
What was it with twins and their ability to have a full conversation without saying a single word? Too often, Amelia found herself in the midst of her two eldest children having what seemed to be an entirely telepathic discussion.
In her moment of pondering, she caught sight of Kari's palm, which was now notably missing its dressings and there was no burn injury in sight. That's when it clicked, and Amelia peered at Aster, finally understanding what must have happened; she'd snuck down at some point in the night and brought Kari candy.
Amelia smiled. She had no qualms with her daughter sneaking around the Tower at night, her gesture was sweet and caring.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, Amelia rolled her fingers through Kari's hair, "How do you feel?"
The boy gave a shrug and a smile that did not reach his eyes, "I'm fine…ish." It was clear from his voice that his chest still pained him, and probably would for a while; Amelia was glad the nurses and doctors had the capabilities to lessen Kari's pain and make him more comfortable.
Kari needed a distraction. Aster and Daisy presented a good opportunity to take their brother's attention off of what happened last night, at least until Amelia had found and spoken with Loki more thoroughly. She hoped that a night's sleep was enough for both her and her husband to cool down a little, any words they shared today would ideally be civil.
"I'll have a tv brought in, and your games console. You three could watch a movie or play some games while I go take care of some business, okay?" Amelia suggested.
Kari visibly perked up a little at the thought of having something to do that didn't involve lying in a bed all day long doing nothing; Aster also approved, pulling up another chair so that she could sit nearby too, while Daisy bounced slightly in her seat in anticipation of some fun, quality time with her siblings.
"How about I get a maid to bring you some snacks too? Popcorn and soda, anyone?" Amelia offered with a knowing smile; anything to make the kids' day a little more fun, even if it meant allowing them to throw their healthy eating habits out the window, just for today.
"Yessss," Kari breathed, excited by this development.
"Popcorn with butter!" Daisy exclaimed, pointing a victorious finger towards the ceiling.
"Wow, Kari, you should get hospitalised more often," Aster gave another sarcastic jab towards her brother, lightly nudging his arm. Kari snorted, but his smile was definitely far stronger than it had been before, and it brought Amelia great comfort. Her son seemed to already be returning to his normal self, she just hoped that Loki would come to his senses and mend the rift that had ingrained itself between him and his son last night.
Amelia left the children once a television had been brought at her request, along with the snacks the kids coveted; it gave her peace of mind knowing her children were enjoying some bonding time between themselves, and also offered her a chance to step away and convince her husband to come around without the worry of Aster, Kari or Daisy wandering into the middle of an argument between their parents.
Aster already seemed to suspect something, she always was perceptive like her father, but Daisy seemed to thankfully be none the wiser. Amelia wasn't sure about her son though, perhaps it was obvious to the boy that his parents had had a major disagreement - she hoped that if he did suspect something, he wasn't blaming himself for it.
Finally feeling a little braver and ready to face Loki, Amelia made her way to their bedroom, not bothering to knock as she entered, only to find the room was entirely vacant. He wasn't in the bathroom either; the sheets on the bed were messy, suggesting he had slept there, but it was impossible to tell when he had gotten up.
She breathed a sigh, "F.R.I.D.A.Y?"
"Yes, Amelia?" The disembodied voice of the Tower's A.I dutifully responded.
"Where is my husband?"
After a brief moment in which Amelia assumed the A.I was scanning, it replied, "I am sorry, I am unable to locate Loki at this time."
Amelia blinked and frowned, "What? What do you mean? Is he not here?"
"Loki is not currently located in the Tower."
"Well where did he go? When did he leave? Why did he leave?" Amelia asked, the questions flowing from her like a tap. It was unlike her husband to just up and disappear without telling her, it left an unsettling sense of worry growing in her stomach.
"I am sorry, I do not have that information. The last time my sensors indicated he was present in the building was two hours and thirteen minutes ago."
Amelia let out an annoyed grumble, falling face down on the messy bed. Great. Loki hadn't even been here the whole time she was tiptoeing past the bedroom and seeing to the children earlier; it agitated her that Loki hadn't informed her he was going somewhere, and now she was left to wonder where in the world her husband was.
There were only so many places he could feasibly go. Perhaps he'd just gone for a walk.
Perhaps he had mentioned to someone else in the tower just where he had headed; it was worth a shot for Amelia to ask about and find out, and in the meantime, perhaps she could get a second opinion for the entire situation. God knew she was living in a building full of people who were probably eager to let their own thoughts be known regarding what had happened with Kari.
After showering and dressing to make herself look presentable and put together, Amelia first headed for the communal living quarters, not searching for anybody in particular, but she knew that at least somebody would be there. Hopefully somebody who knew where Loki was.
Stepping into the large room, she was surprised to find only one person present, but felt glad that that person was Natasha Romanoff. Usually there were several of the tower's occupants hanging around at this time of morning, but it was just Natasha sitting alone reading a magazine with a mug of coffee in hand.
She lifted her head as Amelia entered, her eyes drawn to the movement, and regarded Amelia with a look that was both sympathetic and serious; she tilted her head in invitation to come and sit, which Amelia was quick to accept.
"How's the kid?" Nat asked gently, her concern palpable and appreciated.
Amelia nodded, a slight shrug to her shoulders as she gazed down at her hands in her lap, "Kari is… he'll be okay, he's coughing a lot and he's in pain… but he's alive."
Natasha was quiet as she absorbed Amelia's words, scrutinising her body language, "And mentally?"
Amelia shook her head and quietly admitted, "I don't know. He seems alright, but it's hard to tell how this will affect him in the long run."
Natasha nodded, humming slightly, "He'll get through it. He's a tough kid, they've both been through a lot."
Amelia made a noise of affirmation, but her gaze remained low and solemn.
"Something else bothering you?" Natasha questioned. She had the particular skill of being able to tell when there were other thoughts rolling around in someone's head that were going unspoken, a skill that she and Loki both seemed to share. Perhaps it was something shared by individuals who were exceptionally good at deception, being able to tell when others weren't being candid.
Or maybe Amelia was just that predictable, and that's why it always seemed like Loki could read her mind.
Amelia sighed, fiddling with the bottom of her sweater, "Loki and I had a fight last night and this morning he's just up and disappeared, he's left the tower and I don't know where he is."
Natasha's eyebrows flew up in surprise, "He left without telling you? That's unlike him."
Deflated and even more miserable, Amelia nodded, her lips pulled into a solid pout, "I'd hoped you or someone else had spoken to him this morning, or that he'd at least told someone else where he was going."
Natasha's eyebrows drew together and she shook her head with a commiserating look, "I've not seen him. Perhaps someone else has. I know Steve and Clint are down in the training room, Tony's probably in the lab with Bruce."
Amelia gave Natasha a small but grateful smile, a flicker of hope growing in her eyes as Nat's words helped her to think more rationally. It was probable that Loki would've told someone where he was going, she just needed to figure out who; Loki wouldn't just up and vanish without a trace, he hadn't done anything like that since the twins had been born. His priority was the children, and that meant being easily contactable if he had to leave the tower.
"I'll try them," Amelia agreed, rising from her seat, but she oscillated between crossing the room and staying put, wanting to pose another question to the woman.
"Something else on your mind?" Nat questioned, a hint of humour in her tone.
Amelia paused a moment before speaking, "Nat… what do you think about what Kari did?"
Natasha sighed softly, "I don't think it's my place to share my opinion, he's not my kid."
"I'm asking you," Amelia said imploringly.
She was regarded momentarily by the redhead before Nat tilted her head, a sense of understanding falling over her face, "Is this what you and Loki were fighting about?"
Amelia worried her lip between her teeth, "I need a second opinion," she explained, her words confirming Nat's suspicions.
Natasha looked hesitant, quiet only for a moment, "I think the kid's got guts, not many fourteen year olds can say they've saved another person's life." It relieved Amelia to hear words of praise coming from someone else, especially someone she trusted and valued the opinion of.
"But…" there was always a 'but', "you need to be careful with that boy. You don't want it to go to his head, you better just hope that the repercussions of smoke inhalation deter him from running into any more burning buildings."
The things she said were similar to what Loki was arguing, but Natasha put it in a much more benign way. If only Loki could have the kind of tact that Natasha had.
Amelia nodded, "Thank you, Nat." Natasha responded with a small smile.
Leaving Natasha to finish reading her magazine, Amelia set her sights first on the training room, figuring that if Loki had gotten up for his morning workout routine, its possible either Clint or Steve might've caught him as they were entering.
The ride down the elevator was quiet and caused Amelia to tap her foot repeatedly against the floor; she wondered how her children were doing in the infirmary, had they decided to watch a movie or were they playing a video game? Either way she hoped they were all having fun together and that Kari wasn't having a hard time breathing.
When she reached the correct floor and entered the room, she was greeted by Steve working the punching bags and Clint hitting bullseyes with ease using his bow and arrows. They glanced over as she walked in and seemed to do a double-take, probably surprised to see her of all people in the training room, especially given the circumstances.
Amelia appreciated that they both abandoned their training and began to approach her, likely figuring that she was down there for a reason that didn't involve practising her self-defence.
"Please tell me one of you have seen Loki this morning, or know where he is?" She asked as she reached them, peering between their faces in hopes that they would light up with a significant look.
But as Clint and Steve both silently turned to glance at each other, Amelia's heart fell and her displeasure must have shown on her face, because both men's eyebrows became furrowed with a pinch of concern.
"What happened?" Steve questioned, sensing there was conflict at play. They knew about Kari's situation, of course, but they were not privy to the argument Amelia had shared with her husband; it probably helped that they had known Loki long enough to know him disappearing like this was uncharacteristic.
Amelia groaned, running her hands down her face, and immediately caved and explained everything that was on her mind, "Loki and I had a fight last night because he was being an absolute dick about what happened with Kari - he lost his temper and snapped at the poor boy, even told him he wasn't proud of him, all the while Kari's just having a coughing fit, so Loki and I slept in separate rooms last night and now I can't find him anywhere, F.R.I.D.A.Y doesn't know where he is and nor does Natasha. He's just up and left and I'm pissed off about it."
She dropped it all in one breath and subconsciously covered her mouth when she was done, embarrassed that she had admitted that all to Clint and Steve of all people, only made further sheepish by their looks of surprise.
A stark silence followed and was shortly thereafter broken by Clint, "He hasn't been down here this morning. Is there anywhere he might go that you can think of?"
Amelia shook her head, "Nowhere outside of the tower."
"He really told Kari he's not proud of him?" Steve interjected, a subdued level of incredulity in his tone.
Amelia nodded despondently.
"That's ridiculous. After what the kid managed to pull off? The little guy's got the makings of a future Avenger, how could Loki tear him down like that?" Steve continued, speaking with passionate conviction.
Amelia opened her mouth to respond, but Clint beat her to it.
"He might've gone in a little too rough around the edges, but I understand Loki's reservations here," the archer offered, causing Amelia to regard him with a look of utmost surprise. Was he defending Loki?
Steve seemed to be having the same train of thought that she was, "You agree with Loki? Really?"
Clint tilted his head, pinning Steve with a sardonic look, "You don't have kids, you don't know what it's like. If any of mine ever did anything like this, I'd probably get angry too, at least at first. You can't help but get scared as a parent when your kid throws all caution to the wind and puts themselves in danger. There's a thin line between bravery and stupidity."
"Well, yeah, but the kid succeeded - he saved a little girl-" Steve began.
"And he could have easily failed, and then what would've happened? Two kids would've died instead of one. The boy's got no experience in the field of being a superhero, the only thing he should be worrying about is his math homework."
Amelia recovered from her shock of seeing Clint come to her husband's defence and her expression soured ever so slightly, "That doesn't mean he can shout at our son the moment the boy wakes up…"
Clint looked at her, "No," he agreed, "Loki could've handled that better, but from my perspective, I entirely understand his reaction. Sometimes you have to be hard on your kids if it means protecting them."
Amelia sighed, massaging her temples. She supposed Clint made some sense, but it still upset her to see Loki's reaction as rational and fair to an extent. If Loki had approached the situation with more patience and understanding then maybe Amelia would've been more open to hearing his gripes about Kari's actions.
"Thanks," Amelia murmured, her deep sigh suggesting that she wasn't in fact all that thankful, but really she was glad for the elucidation from another parent. Clint must have had faith in his beliefs on the matter if he was willingly coming to Loki's defence here.
She still needed to seek out Tony and Bruce on the off chance that they knew of Loki's whereabouts, so she bid Steve and Clint goodbye and headed for the lab.
It seemed Bruce was just leaving as Amelia descended the steps into his and Tony's lab; she didn't come down here all that much, but Aster did. The girl was always excited and willing to be a little lab assistant to either Bruce or Tony, helping them with experiments or inventions, plus Aster always talked about learning so much from either of the men, much more than she learned in her science classes at school.
Aster's incredible knack for science and knowledge was most certainly inherited from her father, it was all very difficult for Amelia to understand; Kari took after his mother when it came to science - lacking in understanding it all quite to the same degree as others.
"Bruce," Amelia greeted as the man approached the stairs.
"Hey," he gave her a small smile, "How's Kari feeling this morning?" He almost immediately entered doctor-mode whenever any of the kids fell sick and this situation was no exception.
"He's doing alright," Amelia said, "he's recovering well, I think he'll probably be coughing for a while though." Bruce hummed in agreement and Amelia glanced across the lab, spotting the top of Tony's head over a computer monitor on the other side of the room. "How is Tony?"
She hadn't gotten the chance to speak to Tony yet, and thus hadn't been able to thank him for carrying her son down from that building, but she'd overheard some of the tower's workers saying that they'd seen Tony's composure slipping yesterday afternoon when Kari had been brought to the infirmary.
Tony had likely saved Kari from a fatal case of smoke inhalation just in the nick of time, or an even worse fate, and she felt indebted to him, in a way.
Bruce responded in hushed tones so that only Amelia could hear him, "Ah, I think he's just a little worked up, I'm sure you felt the same way given the circumstances, but you know how Tony tends to get stuck on the what if's," he explained.
Amelia nodded in understanding, "I'm gonna talk to him."
Bruce gently touched her arm in a comforting way before passing her and heading up the stairs and out of the lab; Amelia walked deeper into the room, passing by all the ultra high tech equipment that merely left her mind reeling and approached Tony. As she walked around the desk, she found Tony leaning back in his chair, holding a drink in one hand as his eyes poured over text on his monitor. When he spotted her, he placed his drink down and rose from his chair.
"Hey Bubbles," he greeted her customarily, forcing a smile that didn't reach his eyes, "I hear the kid's doing well."
Amelia couldn't bring herself to smile back, a feeling of burgeoning guilt blooming inside her, "He's going to be okay… thanks to you." She felt guilty that the whole situation had caused Tony any form of distress.
Tony's smile grew broader, but it was so clearly feigned, almost as if he was working overtime to cover up his anxiety over it all; and he blinked a little more intently, as if to clear them of the urge to water up.
He waved a hand, trying to be humble about it, "Don't mention it, it's nothing, really."
"You saved his life," Amelia pointed out, her voice cracking slightly, "I don't think I can ever thank you enough."
Tony shook his head slightly, "Yeah, well, Spider-Man was stopping a robbery on the other side of the city so I figured I ought to step in, huh." He covered up his discomfort with a dash of humour, really trying his best to act blasé and keep his cool. He looked young in that moment, despite his age and the greying hair at his temples.
Amelia stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Tony, blinking away tears of gratitude for what he'd done for her family. Tony accepted the hug, a soft 'oh' sound escaping him as if he wasn't expecting it, but how could he not have expected it? Amelia held tightly onto the man, wanting him to know how important he was to her.
"Thank you," she whispered again.
Tony swallowed audibly, taking a breath before gently pulling away; the false smile was gone, he wasn't pretending anymore. He just looked tired and anxious, just like how Amelia felt, as he slumped down into his desk chair and motioned the swivel chair opposite, inviting her to sit.
"How are you and Loki coping?" Tony asked as Amelia sat.
It had to be evident to Tony that things weren't going well when she let out a long sigh in response, the man scrunched his nose and hummed, "That bad, hm?"
"Loki and I had a fight," Amelia admitted, "when Kari woke up last night, I just wanted him to feel safe and calm, but Loki lost his temper immediately. He told our son he wasn't proud of him and stormed out of the room," Tony visibly winced at this, "and then when I confronted him in our bedroom, he just… he said some horrible stuff, things I never expected to hear from his mouth. We slept in separate rooms, and this morning he's just gone. Please tell me you know where he is?"
Tony averted his gaze to his glass of whiskey and apologetically shook his head, "I've not seen him. I'm sorry."
Amelia ran her hands down her face, simultaneously upset and angry and trying to hold it all in together, but Loki's unexplained disappearance was really making it difficult for her to remain composed. Rationally, she assumed he must have just gone for a long walk to think things over, but surely - surely - he'd think to leave her a note, even if they were in a delicate state the last time they spoke. It was common sense.
"I'm sure he'll return soon. He wouldn't just up and disappear for long," Tony supplied, "he's probably just… mulling things over. What happened was frightening… for all of us."
Amelia lifted her gaze to carefully observe him, "Tony… do you think… if Kari hadn't pulled that girl out to the balcony, do you think you still would've reached her in time?" She worded her question carefully, needing to know what might have happened had her son not heroically stepped up.
Tony's eyes flickered to her, watching her just as carefully, he seemed to know at once that she was trying to justify her own feelings based on that little girl's fate, and Amelia was nervous underneath the scrutiny in his stare.
Ultimately, he shook his head and shrugged, "I don't know, I don't know," he sounded stressed, "I caught sight of the apartment through the doors when I grabbed them, it was crumbling to pieces, I don't know if I could've reached the kid in time without Kari being there, but," he paused to pinch the bridge of his nose, "but Kari should not have been up there. That boy damn near gave me a heart attack, do you know how I felt when I saw that text from Aster?"
Amelia felt frustrated again as Tony's sentiment echoed Loki's, she'd hoped to hear that the man was on her side, but he seemed just as angry at Kari's actions as Loki was - except Tony's anger was more muted and subtle, probably because it wasn't his son.
"Obviously I know how you felt," Amelia quietly pointed out, "because he's my son and I was scared too. I know he shouldn't have been up there, but the fact is, he was up there, and a little girl is alive because of it," her voice grew stronger in volume as she spoke, mirroring the annoyance she felt.
Tony leaned forward in his chair, tapping his fingers on the table to emphasise his next words, "You don't want to encourage this behaviour-"
"I KNOW," Amelia screeched suddenly, petulantly knocking over the stack of paperwork that had been neatly sorted in front of her and jumping up to her feet, "I know, I know," she turned away from Tony, instantly ashamed of her outburst, and clamped her hands down over her ears as she tried to calm down.
She must've seemed like a child to him. Her face burned from embarrassment and aggravation but she bravely faced Tony again and tried to explain herself, speaking much more softly, "I know we shouldn't encourage him, but he ultimately did something that had a good outcome, and his own father said he wasn't proud of him, made him feel like shit for doing something impulsively heroic and saving a life. I know we shouldn't encourage him to go rushing head first into danger, but isn't there a way we can discourage the danger while congratulating the good deed?"
Tony's solemn gaze lifted from the mess of papers on the floor - Amelia hoped they hadn't been in a very specific and significant order, because her blunder would no doubt needlessly add time to his work if they had - and he slowly shook his head.
"I hear what you're trying to say, Bubbles," the nickname felt very ironic in that moment, because Amelia was anything but bubbly, "but the moment you give that kid a taste of glory, he'll never stop putting himself in harm's way for the sake of others. Take it from me," he gave a very sardonic smile and sighed, "and if he puts himself in danger again… I can't guarantee I'll get there in time to save him," his face hardened as his eyes shined with a thin layer of moisture.
Amelia's eyes fell briefly shut. This was what Bruce meant about the what if's. Tony had the tendency to torture himself with thoughts of failure, and this realisation brought clarity to Amelia's mind.
Loki was exactly the same. While Amelia was busy thinking 'thank the gods he survived,' Loki was busy thinking 'what if he hadn't?'
Worrying her bottom lip between her teeth, Amelia lightly motioned the messy floor, "I'm sorry." Tony dismissively waved his hand, he didn't care about the mess.
"I don't know what I would've done if I'd been seconds too late, Amelia. When he passed out, I thought the worst had happened, all I could think was 'how am I gonna tell you?'"
Amelia sniffled, falling back down into her chair and covering her face. She'd failed to see things from the perspective of the people who were expected to be the first on the scene to save Kari's life should things go wrong; of course, as a mother, Amelia would give her life if it meant her children surviving - she would do anything to see them safe, but she wasn't an Avenger, she wasn't a superhero with all that pressure to succeed on her shoulders.
When Amelia's brother had died, she'd never tormented herself with the thought that she could've done something to save him - she knew there was nothing she could've done, but with Kari, from Loki's perspective, Amelia knew Loki would blame himself if something happened and he wasn't there to save the boy, and he would never stop blaming himself.
It made sense now, Loki's hysteric reaction.
Amelia reached for Tony's hand and laid her own over it, once again whispering 'thank you' as she looked the man in the eyes. This time she was thanking him for more than just saving her son's life. Tony clutched her hand in return, giving it an appreciative squeeze as he seemed to realise that Amelia had had some sort of revelation.
With his free hand, Tony reached for his whiskey glass, "You're not thinking of pouring yourself a drink today, are you?"
Amelia's lip trembled and she shook her head, "No. Not today."
"Good," Tony stated, before downing the rest of the glass in one, "it's a nasty habit to kick."
Amelia smiled wryly, "I know."
When Loki had awoken that morning out of a fitful and lonely slumber, he knew he needed to get away from the tower for a while; he still felt angry and had hoped laying his head down for the night would have cleared his mind and dulled his emotions, but it continued to simmer even when he pulled himself out of the cold bed and slinked to the bathroom.
He dressed, and quickly decided on his destination, slipping out of his bedroom silently and making his way to the rooftop garden without running into a single soul along the way. He wasn't going to be gone long anyway, he just needed a way to ride out his anger before he could talk to his wife again.
The rooftop garden wasn't entirely barren even in winter; Amelia had recently spread seeds of snowdrops, winter aconites and daffodils in the beds, some of which had begun to bloom ahead of spring, leaving a mix of white and yellow buds preparing to sprout. It wasn't as colourful as it was in summertime, but Amelia poured her love into the garden whenever she had time, and had even started teaching Daisy the best way to care for certain flowers, to the little girl's delight.
He stood in the centre of what was once a helicopter pad, making sure the immediate area was clear of plant pots or garden tools, before turning his head skywards and speaking Heimdall's name.
"I need Thor to open the Bifrost for me," Loki spoke, hearing the affirmative response of Heimdall in his head. He waited patiently for Thor to accept his request, tapping his foot against the floor; it was possible he'd interrupted one of his brother's council meetings, but honestly, who cared what most of the council members had to say when Loki himself was not present for them?
After minutes, the familiar woosh of multicoloured lights engulfed him and he was flying through the Bifrost at great speeds, landing in the arrival zone, the centre of the palace courtyard.
Thor was there when Loki touched down, looking confused and concerned more than anything - he hadn't expected his brother to just drop in like this - it was rational of him to assume something unfortunate had happened, which it had.
"Brother," Thor greeted, "are you well?"
Loki rolled his eyes, not much caring to break the ice, he was more the time to just get straight to the point, so he regarded his brother with a weary look and simply said, "Training grounds, now," before turning and walking the path that led there.
Thor followed silently, knowing not to ask questions until they actually started sparring, because trying to press for an explanation would only serve to annoy Loki. They reached the training grounds, which automatically cleared of Asgardian soldiers the moment the king and the prince entered - they knew the drill at this point, none of them wanted to get caught in the fray when the brothers were fighting.
They proceeded like clockwork, finding their positions and readying themselves, and that's when Thor asked the first question. "So what's got you all worked up?" The king inquired, the very words prompting his brother to dive into his first attack.
A fight between Thor and Loki always tended to follow the same recipe; Loki was swift and a master of magic, using his spells to throw his brother off and catch him out - he was physically smaller and leaner than the king, so he used what he had to his advantage, and it often had the desired effect.
Thor was bigger, bulkier and slower, but his punches - when they landed - were catastrophic, enough to stun Loki for seconds at a time and give his brother the upper hand while he struggled to recover.
It was here, ensnared in a grapple with his older brother, that Loki felt comfortable enough to share his troubles.
"I had a fight with Amelia," Loki said, almost losing his balance as he threw himself out of the way of one of Thor's powerful fists.
"Ooh, marital problems? What brought this on, brother?" Thor responded with humour in his tone, unaware of everything that had transpired in the last twenty-four hours.
"Kari got hurt," Loki stated, successfully sending Thor back a few steps as he delivered a fierce magical projectile to the king's chest, knocking the breath out of him and causing him to stagger.
"Hurt?" Thor grunted, forcing himself to overcome the blow to his chest as he was suddenly filled with worry, "How? Is he alright?" He paused in step, wanting to hear Loki's answer before continuing, but Loki was not happy at the pause, and quickly took advantage, summoning his blades to hand.
"He's alive," Loki snapped, slashing and cutting his brother's arm - the cut was minor, merely a flesh wound, and Thor barely flinched as the blades made contact with him, he was used to being on the pointy end of Loki's daggers, after all. "The idiot boy ran into a burning building to save a child, he had no plan and worked purely on impulse - followed his heart instead of his head and almost got himself killed."
Thor caught Loki's wrists, ending the barrage of sweeping movements and causing Loki to growl in protest - he didn't like being reminded that Thor was physically stronger and could hold him at bay, it made him feel like a child.
"Kari saved a child?" Thor repeated, dumbfounded. His wide eyes were filled with shock and, to Loki's utter dismay, pride.
"Don't," Loki snapped, "He could have died, what he did is not a good thing!" He kicked Thor in the abdomen, causing the larger man to shout in pain and put a little distance between them.
"Well yes, but-" Thor groaned, calling his axe to hand and proceeding to use it to deflect a series of magical blows that Loki launched in his direction, "he still saved the child, right? What an achievement! Saving a life at only fourteen years!"
"It doesn't matter," Loki hissed, his projectiles growing in size and power as his anger swelled, "He should not have put himself in that situation, and you will not congratulate him for this. I will not see his ego expand over something this serious."
Thor used the head of his axe to deflect the final projectile back at his brother, who failed to foresee the move and was knocked back off his feet with the force of his own magic, almost somersaulting head over heels as he slammed into the snowy ground, grunting at the pain in his back and chest.
"You can't be serious, you put him down for this?" Thor questioned, "I understand wanting to discourage his actions, but dampening his spirit after his heroic act? Surely you see the problem here, brother?" He kept his distance, waiting for Loki to pull himself up.
The younger of the two brothers seethed as he rose up from the embarrassing position he'd been thrown into, and quickly summoned his knives to hand once again.
"The problem is you!" Loki hissed, charging once more, trying repeatedly to get an attack in edgeways but Thor kept him at bay with the axe, swinging it this way and that to avoid letting his brother get too close. "And Amelia, and Kari, and anyone who would give the boy a pat on the back after what he did. All that will serve to do is make the boy conceited and overconfident-"
"Does that sound familiar, brother?" Thor smirked at the fury in Loki's eyes.
"-It will get him killed," Loki protested, "the boy doesn't know what he's doing, he's not experienced-"
"So teach him to be better," Thor suggested, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"No." Loki ducked below the swing of Thor's axe and lunged at the opening, slashing again at Thor's other arm.
"Agh!" Thor whacked his brother in the head with the butt of the axe, not with his full strength, but it still sent Loki to the ground, the side of his face getting buried in the snow and the dirt below. He didn't immediately get up, leading Thor to believe his riled up state was beginning to wane somewhat; he remained cautious, it would be naive to think the fight was over, so he once again put distance between himself and his brother.
Loki pushed himself off the ground, shaking the snow and dirt out of his hair as he pinned Thor with a furious glare.
"You're a walking contradiction, brother," Thor remarked, holding his axe at the ready, "you fear his inexperience would get him killed but you're unwilling to teach him and offer that experience."
"I don't want him to be risking his life to be a hero," Loki hissed, throwing one of his knives at Thor, only for it to ricochet off Stormbreaker and embed into the ground.
"Loki," Thor said his name like he was trying to incur some sense in his brother, "if he wants to be an Avenger, who are you to stop him?"
"His father, I'll have you know!" Loki roared, his fist clenching tightly around the hilt of his remaining blade as he began to stalk towards Thor.
"Can you blame him for wanting to follow in his father's footsteps?"
Loki faltered in step, "What?"
Thor smiled ironically, a dry chuckle escaping him, "He's grown up around superheroes, you expect him not to want to follow in that? All he sees is how much the people of Manhattan love you, he's a teenager who hates school and no doubt wants to make a difference in the world, of course he's going to go and seize that glory the moment the opportunity becomes available. You can't blame him for wanting what you have."
Loki stopped, seemingly pondering Thor's words in his head, his grip on his knife weakened and Thor relaxed.
"Shall we talk calmly now, brother? Tell me of your fight with Amelia," Thor lowered Stormbreaker, a clear invitation for Loki to end the brawl and vent about his troubles in a non-violent manner.
Loki regarded Thor with a narrow gaze, saying nothing for just long enough for Thor to grow suspicious again, and then he sprung forward and bashed Thor's nose with the hilt of his blade. The king let out a raucous bellow as he pressed his hand to his nose, holding it there just long enough to feel the warm trickle of blood drip from his nostrils, and then he repaid the favour, bringing the blunt head of his axe up and bashing Loki in the jaw with it.
The latter fell to the ground again, cradling his jaw and letting out an agonising whine; from afar the pair probably looked pathetic, like a pair of squabbling siblings hurting each other for the sake of it.
"Are you done yet?" Thor yelled, pressing his fingers to his tender nose which was definitely broken and pouring blood, he could feel it coagulating in his moustache and beard and was just about fed up with his little brother.
Loki grunted, rubbing his now tender jaw, and Thor took the response as affirmation that the fight had ended, because the younger man wasn't in a rush to get up off the ground.
"My fucking jaw," Loki groaned through gritted teeth.
"Well it serves you right!" Thor snapped, motioning the very bloody lower half of his face, "Now let's sit down and you can tell me about your lover's quarrel."
Loki let out a noise of discomfort and annoyance, "If I can talk," he sneered, voice significantly muffled by the pain. Despite himself, he rose to his feet, somewhat wobbly, and stomped towards the closest bench where Thor promptly joined him.
They both slumped into the seat and sighed.
Loki poked the forming bruise below his chin and winced, "Amelia insisted on praising the boy, I merely wanted to discourage him and she exploded at me," he explained, talking through the pain, "she said I play favourites with my children and it angered me. I don't play favourites."
Thor hummed, using his cape to dab at the mess on his face, "I know your uncompromising approach here is evident of your love for your son," he began, and then raised his eyebrows at Loki, "but perhaps your son will fail to see it that way? You can be gentle and firm at the same time, you know."
An agitated noise escaped Loki's throat, "Perhaps."
"So? What happened after she said that?" Thor fished for more details, knowing that Loki must have said something hideous in response.
Loki was momentarily quiet, glaring down at the white-dusted ground. The snow had grown into a muddy slush beneath his feet, it caused his lips to curl in disgust, which induced a spasm of pain in his jaw again.
"Urgh," he groaned, "I… I called her a moron."
Thor looked at Loki with incredulity, "Well, I bet she took that well," he remarked with heavy sarcasm, "she's stressed because her son is hurt, you're storming around calling him an idiot and then you go and call her a moron because she cares about Kari's feelings?"
"Sh- she couldn't see what I was trying to say!" Loki stammered, trying and failing to justify his own actions to himself, "She… she wasn't listening to me. It was maddening."
"Perhaps you weren't listening to her either," Thor shrugged, "you should apologise to her."
"But I was in the right," Loki argued, scrutinising his brother, "my son's actions were idiotic, why should I be anything but candid about that fact?"
"Since when were you the God of Honesty?" Thor japed with a self-satisfied smirk.
"Shut up."
"Loki, listen," Thor implored, drawing his brother's undivided attention, "your son looks up to you so much that he wants to be like you. He sees you helping people, saving people, doing dangerous things in order to save lives. He must think you're amazing if he wants to do exactly what you do. Don't blame him for copying you, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, right? You can do better here than calling him an idiot and acting like he's wronged you."
Loki fell silent, hiding his softening expression behind his hair as he dropped his gaze to the ground again. He did not respond, mulling things over in his mind and Thor gave him several minutes of quietness to really think things through.
Eventually, Thor broke the silence with more humour, "Hel, my sons want to be like you too. Corrupted by mischief, telling little lies to get what they want, why can't they aspire to be more like me?" He grumbled, watching his brother carefully.
To his relief, Loki gave an amused huff, his shoulders shaking slightly from laughter, "Well, I am better than you in every way."
"Sure. Sure. Of course," Thor murmured, his voice so drenched in sarcasm, but Loki chose to ignore it, standing up and stretching, feeling the little aches and bruises from the rough treatment he'd endured.
"I suppose I better go home and talk to Amelia," he sighed, and Thor wholeheartedly agreed.
Loki all but collapsed on the couch in his and Amelia's bedroom when he returned, letting out a low groan at the burn in his body - he supposed he had seeked it out though, so he couldn't really complain. Apart from the strike to his jaw, that was very much a low blow.
He ignored the fact that he'd struck Thor in the nose first.
Slumping in the seat, he sat there for several minutes, wondering what he was going to say to his wife and how he was going to broach the situation with his son; he'd insulted her greatly and he needed to make up for it, and then there was Kari, who no doubt didn't want to see his face for a while.
He needed to figure something out. Perhaps an idea would come to him in the shower, he needed to wash the dirt off his face before he spoke to his wife.
As he made the move to push himself up off the couch, the bedroom door opened and Amelia stepped in, causing Loki to freeze. She froze as well, her eyes going from weary to wide as they landed on him, and her expression bouncing around between so many emotions that he could hardly figure out how she was feeling.
He decided he should break the silence, and opened his mouth to begin a long-winded apology in order to make it up to her, "Amelia, I-"
She stormed forward, grabbed a cushion from the bed and lobbed it at his face, hitting him square in the jaw.
His very tender, sore jaw.
Loki grimaced and lifted his hands to protect his face as Amelia grabbed another cushion and stormed around the bed, rapidly approaching her husband with fire in her eyes.
"Where the fuck have you been?" Amelia shrieked, punctuating each word by hitting Loki over the head with the soft but also firm cushion. "What's wrong with you!? I woke up this morning and you were gone! What the hell do you think I was supposed to think, huh!? No note, you didn't even take your damn phone, you just vanished!" She didn't let up, taking out her frustrations on her husband using her pillowy weapon.
"Amelia, please-"
"I thought you'd fucking left! Next time you disappear to sulk, try god-damn telling somebody where you're going, you absolute tool! And now you turn up covered in grime, and- is that blood?" Her final cushion strike managed to thump his jaw, causing him to let out an undignified yelp, but as her eyes settled on the bloodstains across the back of his hand, she fell silent before reflexively assuming her maternal role.
"Have you gotten hurt?" She asked softly, concern lacing her words as she dropped the cushion and took her hand in both of hers, inspecting the blood across his skin in search of an injury. Loki swallowed and then grimaced again.
"That's… Thor's blood."
Immediately, the gentle demeanour slipped away, replaced with a glare, "What? You disappeared to go fight with Thor!?"
Loki lifted his hands defensively and then pointed at the darkening bruise on his chin, "If it makes you feel better, I did get hurt."
"Oh, shut up," Amelia hissed, slumping down onto the couch beside Loki and dropping her face into her hands. She sat with a significant amount of space between them, clearly still mad enough that she didn't want to be closer to him; Loki knew he wasn't going to be forgiven that easily, but he drew in a deep breath and then sighed, placing a hand lightly on her shoulder.
Predictably, she shoved it off.
"Don't touch me, asshole."
Loki pulled his hand back, watching his wife closely. There was no bite behind her words, not really, she was more upset than angry but was trying to play it off like she was still mad.
"You always tell me off for swearing," Loki pointed out.
"Yeah, in front of the children," she snapped back, turning her fiery gaze on him again, "in the bedroom, it's fair fucking game."
Loki couldn't help it, he smiled at her profanity, finding it oddly endearing at perhaps the worst moment, because Amelia did not interpret his smile the way he meant it.
"Don't fucking smirk like that. I've had to ride an emotional rollercoaster for the last twenty-four hours and you've done nothing but make it worse. I'm so pissed at you, you said some awful shit to me, and to your son!" She shoved his arm, an insignificant gesture given his enormous strength and her lack thereof, but it pulled the smile from his face, replacing it with a frown.
"I'm sorry, Amelia," Loki murmured, "I'm sorry for what I said to you… I handled it terribly, I see that now." He reached for her arm again, and this time she allowed him to touch her.
Amelia squeezed her eyes tightly shut, trying to deter her tears, but it was fruitless - she was tired and emotional, and she did not have the strength to keep her tears at bay.
"You called me a moron," she whimpered, as if pained by the memory of the night before.
"You're not a moron," Loki told her remorsefully.
"I know I'm not a moron," Amelia pouted, "and yet you called me one anyway."
"I was wrong, I-" Loki slipped off the couch and onto his knees in front of his wife, catching her hands in his own, "I'm the moron."
Amelia looked down at him, sniffling as a tear dripped down her face, and Loki reached up, wiping it away with his thumb. He offered her a small smile, but she couldn't find it in her to return it.
"I've spoken to everyone, because I needed to hear what they thought about all this," Amelia murmured, "and my talk with Tony was enlightening… and heavy. I must look like a mess, huh?"
Loki shook his head, "No, you look beautiful."
"Don't lie."
"I'm not, you always look beautiful," he told her, "my beautiful wife, who is smarter than I."
"You don't mean that, you're just trying to get me to smile," Amelia whispered.
"I mean it and I'm trying to get you to smile," Loki's lips stretched into a grin, which caused his bruise to throb, but he forced himself to ignore it, "It's working, right?"
Amelia looked him down with her glistening eyes, and slowly her furrowed brow relaxed a little, and the corners of her lips curled ever so slightly upwards. Loki saw this as a small victory, holding his wife's hand up and kissing her knuckles to further sway her.
"I'm truly sorry for what I said," Loki told her, "I was frustrated and upset, and scared, but that's no excuse. It won't happen again."
Amelia opened her mouth, lips quivering briefly, "I'm… I'm sorry too."
Loki tilted his head curiously.
"I accused you of playing favourites, but…" she shook her head, "I don't believe you love Kari any less than you do Aster or Daisy, but I do think you're harder on him… that needs to change, Loki. Please, treat them all equally, let them all know you love them as much as each other."
Loki's lips pulled into a pout, and he nodded gently, "I'm sorry. I never meant for it to seem that way."
Amelia cupped Loki's face, brushing her thumb ever so lightly against his bruised jaw, "I know… are you ready to talk to Kari?"
Loki swallowed audibly, but nodded his head, "I'll shower first."
Before entering the infirmary, Loki watched his children through the viewing window; they were blissfully unaware of his presence as he stood just out of view, observing them without their knowledge or care. He was gathering the courage to enter the room and admit to his son that he'd been wrong to say what he said, but in the meantime, he found comfort in the sight of the three of them smiling and having fun.
Kari was sat up in his bed, the sight of the oxygen tube in his nose tugged at Loki's heartstrings, it hurt to see his son unwell like this, but the boy was pushing through it, playing on his gaming console with Daisy sitting in his lap, clapping her hands along to whatever was happening on the television screen. Aster sat in the chair at the side of Kari's bed, eating popcorn one piece at a time and laughing at Daisy's enthusiasm.
It felt like it had been too long since he'd seen the three of them all happy and bonding together, it made him yearn to do things with them as a group, he wanted to see more of their smiles and hear more of their laughter.
"Go on, love," Amelia murmured at his side, gently nudging him.
Loki closed his eyes and sighed, knowing he was about to interrupt the serene sight of his children having fun; at least he no longer looked like he'd been rolling around in the mud, the kids would've definitely asked questions if he'd turned up covered in blood and dirt.
He touched the handprint scanner and the door opened.
Kari hit the pause button reflexively, turning his head and expecting to see his mother entering the room, but as Loki had foretold, the smiles slipped almost immediately from both his and Aster's faces. Daisy's smile only grew, because she was in the dark about what had been happening. The child was just happy to see her father, and lifted her arms up gleefully.
"Dada!"
Loki gave Daisy a smile, lifting her up from her up from her cosy seat in front of Kari; he greeted her with a forehead kiss, but the most important thing he needed to do in that moment was talk with his son, so he handed Daisy to her mother, caressing her head lovingly as he did so.
"I need to talk with your brother privately, can you go wait outside with your mother for a little while?" Loki asked Aster, who shared a look with her brother before regrettably standing and making her way out of the room with Amelia and Daisy.
When the door shut, Loki turned to his son, finding that the boy was pointedly looking away from him, acting as though the empty beds to his left were oh so interesting. Loki sat on the edge of the mattress.
"Hey," he said softly.
Kari did not respond, nor did he take his eyes off the bed.
"Kari, look at me please," Loki murmured, pinching the sleeve of Kari's pyjama top and tugging on it. The boy seemed as though he was going to continue pretending his father wasn't there, but then he gave in, slowly turning his head and peering up at him with shiny eyes.
Loki cupped his son's face in his hands and merely looked at him, taking in his expression and his youthful face; he looked childlike, and Loki had to remind himself that his son was only four years away from being considered a legal adult - it was a thought that stabbed him right in the gut, because it felt like only yesterday that Kari had been a babe in his arms.
He opened his mouth to speak, but hesitated, because the two words that were about to slip off his tongue simply didn't feel like enough. But then, a smart woman once told him that apologies should be given even when they're not expected to be exchanged for forgiveness.
So Loki took Kari's hands in his own, just like he had done with Amelia, and he looked sincerely at his teenage son, "What I said to you last night was wrong, I spoke out of anger because I was afraid, and for that I am sorry," he told him quietly, "I want you to know that the things I said… they're not true. I am proud of you, Kari, you make me proud every day," he smiled, trying not to worry his lower lip between his teeth, "now, when you saved that girl's life, you did something truly remarkable, but I need you to know-"
There was a change in Kari's eyes, like he knew this was coming; his gaze had turned hopeful as Loki spoke his apologies and praised his son, and then as soon as the word 'but' left his mouth, it was like it all crumbled again in Kari's mind.
"But you need to know… it's not on you to go running headfirst into danger in order to save someone," Loki told him, trying his best to choose his words so carefully, "you shouldn't put that responsibility on your shoulders, because right now you're just a child, a teenager, and I need you to remain that way," a desperate smiled pulled at Loki's lips, like he hoped Kari would mimic it, "you know, at least until you grow into a man."
To Loki's dismay, Kari's gaze dropped again and he turned his head away without saying anything, causing Loki's heartbeat to pick up the pace out of dread. What if Kari just never forgave him? That was the thought that began to burrow into Loki's brain as he imagined all the awful pathways the future could take if his dear boy decided to forever resent him.
He ran a hand through his son's hair, swallowing tightly, "I just want to see you happy and healthy," Loki murmured.
Ironically, Kari chose that moment to start coughing, placing one hand to his mouth and the other over his chest; Loki frowned, moving to rub his son's back comfortingly.
When Kari stopped, Loki dipped down and placed a kiss to Kari's forehead and found that the boy's hair still smelt vaguely of smoke. He was bothered by another pang of his heart behind his ribs.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there to save you from that balcony," Loki found himself saying, because deep down he wished he could've been present to save his own son; he was endlessly thankful that Stark had been there, and guilty that he himself had been far away when it happened.
Kari looked at him, the boy's green eyes drenched in confusion, and he shook his head, not quite comprehending his father's thought process.
"I'm here," Kari whispered, the rasp still present in his voice, "I'm okay, dad, I'm alive."
Loki felt his throat constrict. Kari was alive, yes, but what if…
What if he wasn't?
He didn't want his son to see him cry, but Loki presumed it was a little too late for him to hide the way his eyes welled up with tears if the look on Kari's face was anything to go by. The boy looked spooked, he couldn't recall the last time he'd seen his father cry, and Loki couldn't remember the last time he cried in front of the boy, if he ever had.
Lifting his head to look up at the ceiling, Loki composed himself and blinked the tears away; when he next spoke, his voice was nothing less than serious.
"Kari… next time somebody is in danger and you think you're the only one that can help, promise me you'll refrain, and trust that one of the Avengers will be there in time to do the saving," Loki said, once again cupping his son's face.
Kari's lips parted, his eyes flitting between Loki's, "But what if you're not? What if I'm really the only one who can help?"
"Kari," Loki repeated, a touch louder but still benevolent, "Promise me."
The boy's lips quivered and his face softened, eyes widening ever so slightly; he let his head fall forwards against his father's chest, and Loki opened his arms, enveloping the boy in a safe and secure hold.
"I promise, dad. I'll never do it again."
Loki felt himself relax and wrapped his arms more firmly around his son, remaining mindful of constricting the boy's lungs.
For a moment, Kari thought that his father might have seen through his lie, but Loki appeared entirely convinced.
So since the last chapter, I actually settled on a face-claim for Kari. I can now actually show you all exactly what I imagine him to look like, and that individual is Lucerys Velaryon from Game of Thrones prequel, House of the Dragon, as portrayed by Elliot Grihault. He just looks so perfectly like how I imagine Kari to look. If fanfiction net allowed it, I'd insert a link to an image of him, but I don't believe this website allows that, so you'll have to google it!
Isn't he just adorable!? I unfortunately don't have a face-claim for 14 year old Aster or little Daisy, but I do have a face-claim for 20+ year old Aster... though I wonder if I should maybe keep that information a secret until a time in this fic where she's actual that age ;)
Can't wait to hear all your thoughts on this chapter!