(To think I got this idea while doing homework, huh?)

The Return of Evil:

Chapter One

Cloud Strife groaned and rolled over on his side. Dim rays of early morning sunlight penetrated the window and slightly illuminated the small inn room. He flinched and opened his eyes, blinking a few times to adjust his sight.

Cloud, however, suddenly realized there was something warm next to his body. He raised his head a little, his eyes finding a sleeping Tifa Lockhart lying peacefully beside him. She seemed to have fallen asleep in her clothes, but her boots and gloves(Are they gauntlets..?) had been discarded to the floor.

"I swear she was not there when I went to sleep," he thought while watching her. "I'm sure I didn't get drunk, and I doubt she did either… but did we… do…?"

Cloud shook his head. "No, no way! We couldn't have… could we…" he mumbled before starting to inch off of the bed, trying not to awaken his friend. After grabbing his pants and slipping them on, buckling his belt, and placing his shirt on, he made his way out of the room and across the hall to the bathroom.

"I already took a shower last night, so I should be okay," he thought aloud before wetting his hair and taking a plastic tube from his pocket. After flipping the top of the tube up and squeezing out a miniscule amount of the gel, he began to spread through his wet hair, carefully forming his trademark hairdo.

Once a few minutes had passed, Cloud heard the door open slowly, and he glanced to the side to see Tifa enter.

"Oh, hey Tifa; can I, um, ask you a question?"

"Shoot…" she stated sheepishly while approaching him, embracing him tightly and digging her head into his chest.

Cloud was a tad disturbed by this gesture, and a bead of sweat fell from his brow. "Yeah, well, when I woke up I saw that you were sleeping next to me, and you, uh, looked quite happy…"

She nodded. "Yes… Is it a problem, my love?" she cooed softly in his ear before starting to slowly bite and suck on his earlobe, as well as rub her groin area over his crotch.

"Uh, Tifa, really… This isn't the time, or the place…"

"It's only a bathroom Cloud, besides, don't you want me…?"

He thought for a moment before swallowing hard. "Well, um, you seem really comfortable about this… Have we… done this before?" he asked nervously, chuckling.

"No…"

"Ah, good, good, so I'm still a virgin," he confirmed, relieved. Tifa had begun sucking on his neck, and it disturbed him greatly. "Dammit! If she keeps this up I'll start getting a…" he thought before noticing her left leg wrap around his right

"Shit! Sorry, Tifa!" he exclaimed before pushing her off and running out of the room, locking it on his way out. He slammed it shut and leaned against the door, sliding down to sit on the floor.

"That was close, really close; thank goodness for my strong will power! Now, boots, Buster Sword; must get."

Cloud stood and darted into his room, putting on his boots and sheathing his- Zack's- Buster Sword before attempting to fix the bed, but he was stopped abruptly when a loud scream occurred outside.

"Isn't this place called, Kalm, for a reason?" he asked himself as a blue Materia crashed through his window. "What is going on this morning?"

Anyway, Cloud exited the inn and looked around; everything seemed normal, except for the fact that Yuffie was foaming at the mouth and running around wildly. It seemed to be early, so Cloud carefully approached her. "Yuffie?"

She stopped and turned to him, her eyes burning evilly. "Y-Yuffie…?"
She just fell to the ground in a fetal position, rocking back and forth. "My Materia… My Materia… My Materia… My Materia…"

Cloud watched her for a few moments before his stomach rumbled. "Maybe I should've eaten one of those cookies that Tonberry brought last night…" He sighed and made his way to the nearest restaurant, taking a seat at a booth. There were two other people inside, eating.

He leaned back and closed his eyes as he heard someone take a seat across from him.

"Cloud, I'm glad I found you," Vincent stated quietly as his blonde comrade opened his eyes. "Have you noticed something strange is going on, Vincent?"

"Yes, which is why I had to speak with you."

"Oh, good, because Yuffie seems to have lost her sanity and Tifa was overly happy this morning; I found her sleeping next to me and then she tried to seduce me in the bathroom."

"Tifa? Seduce you? That means the situation is graver than I first thought."

"Yeah, I mean, just because we defeated Sephiroth doesn't give her the right to celebrate by seducing me… and whatever comes after that… But wait, what are you talking about?"

Sephiroth's senses raged strongly when he awoke. The sound of dripping water, the stench of mold, and the cool touch of metal and plastic bombarded him as his eyes opened, examining the chamber he was in.

"Ah, so I see you've awoken…" a female voice spoke as a light bulb faded on, casting a dim array of light onto the center of the room.

"Where am I? Didn't… I… ah, my head…"

"Don't worry, Sephiroth, your memory will return steadily, very steadily…"

"Show yourself!" he shouted, before a person walked into the light, her emerald eyes staring straight into his. "Y-You? I thought I-," but he was cut short when he was suddenly shocked. A large, peculiar, mechanical device was fastened around his neck; it seemed to be the source of the electricity.

"Okay, and-,"

"Stop questioning me you fool!"

He was shocked again as the woman laughed. "You see, Sephiroth, your life is like an egg in my palm; if I clench my fist, I can end it."

"That was, uh, a peculiar analogy…"

"Yes, now if you value your life you will not question me again, for once I gain my ultimate revenge against AVALANCHE and the planet, I'll drop you back into the Lifestream."

"That made no sense whatsoever."

"Silence! Now, I'll let you rest as I prepare for phase two of my domination."

"Just curious, but how many phases are there?"

Unfortunately, the woman had already disappeared.

(Sucks, doesn't it?)