Previously on "You're About Seven Years Too Early": "Things are going well at the tower. The stuff with Bog seems to have died down."
Today's Chapter: The stuff with Bog has not died down.
"When I was young, I had nothing. I was left behind by my parents— they said I wasn't tough enough, wasn't man enough. I was too weak to survive back then. I came days away from just starving to death. It was pathetic! But then you found me. You, an up-and-coming sergeant in the Toad Army, looked at my fragile self and saw potential. I joined your ranks, and over the years I became one of your proudest soldiers. But did I ever have your respect? That's the question."
The "dark pit" was the deepest chamber of the South Tower, even lower than the sewers and all the creatures which reside there. The dark and murky room seemed like the perfect prison where enemy amphibians could be forgotten as they slowly wither away, but the chamber served a different purpose. When a toad's in a particularly bad mood and needs to vent their emotions, they come down here where they can do it without disturbing anyone else.
And there's one red horned toad in particular who's spent the past few days down there. Right now he gathered several training dummies which he purposely dressed to look like Captain Grime. The toad cracked his knuckles, grabbed his favorite hammer with one hand and a sword in another, and got to work.
"And now everything's ruined because a fucking kid showed up out of nowhere!"
He slammed the hammer into the stomach of one dummy and whacked another on the head. He quickly slashed the limbs off a third with his sword.
"I was the pride of this army! And all that training for nothing, huh? The minute some creature shows up you become a completely different person!"
He bashed in the head of another dummy with the hammer and bisected another with the sword. He tossed one in the air and held up his sword so that the dummy got impaled when it fell.
"This is how we used to treat our enemies— they got the punishments they rightly deserved. How dare you turn back on our way of life!? You have the audacity to criticize me for doing what you taught me!"
He ran toward the last dummy and beheaded it, and then he approached the severed head and repeatedly pummeled it until the whole thing was a flattened mess. Once the head was fully dealt with, the toad walked toward the dummy's fallen body. He slashed at it with the sword, repeatedly and continuously. He kept going at it for minutes, only stopping when the remains simply couldn't be pulverized any more. He stopped to catch his breath for a moment before speaking again.
"Well it all ends today, Grime. Us toads won't put up with your bullshit any longer. I'm making a stand and you aren't here to stop me. It's mighty convenient that you already removed yourself from the equation." He chuckled darkly. "It's time for this tower to get a new captain, one that's not so soft." With that, Bog secured his weapons and left the dark pit for the first time in days, ready to secure his new place.
As usual, the mess hall was a flurry of casual activity. The already lax regulations regarding breaktime had become close to nonexistent when Grime left the tower a month ago. What was once a strict, tightly controlled workspace became a chaotic place filled with games, eating contests, and plenty of jokes.
"Did you hear the one about the old spider and the flies?" said one female toad sitting at a table with four companions.
"No, how does it go?" answered one of the other toads.
The first toad takes a swig of grog before continuing. "So basically there's this frog, right, let's call him Jimbo, and he's got this spider that he rides everywhere he goes. And Jimbo had this spider for a long time, like 30 years. And by that point Jimbo's real old and he's retired. And the spider? Well, it croaked. So Jimbo gets real upset and he cries for days, maybe even weeks. But eventually, the old frog decides he'll go to the market so that someone could buy the spider to cook it. Sounds like a good plan, right? Except he spent too long mourning, so by the time he got to the market the spider was already rotten. The sales go about as well as you'd expect.
'Does anyone want some spider meat? Come on, nice genuine spider meat! It doesn't even have that many flies!'
And this guy at the market is all like: 'Flies? It can't even walk!'"
Everyone gathered at the table started laughing hysterically.
"Oh man, that was great," said an orange toad. "It reminds me of the one about the squirrel and the tin cans. So it starts off in a grocery store—"
SLAM!
Bog violently shoved open the door to the mess hall, putting an end to all discussions. Everyone's eyes were on him as he slowly entered the room. It looked like he hadn't slept in a couple of days, judging by the bags under his eyes and his haggard movements.
"So, this is what the great Toad Army has come to?"
Most of the toads loudly groaned and rolled their eyes.
"Here we go again," muttered Dennis who was currently wearing his breastplate as pants.
Bog growled. "We used to be tough, strong, efficient, feared. Now we're just a joke."
"We haven't really changed that much—"
Bog ignored the comment and kept going. "Remember when our very existence struck fear in the hearts of frogs? They'd get down on their knees and beg for mercy whenever we came into town." He pointed at Dennis. "Now we're so useless we're apparently misplacing our clothes entirely!"
"Hey!" Dennis protested. "We are still the fiercest warriors in Amphibia?"
Bog raised an eyebrow. "Really? If a legion of soldiers from the North Tower came here right now looking for a fight, could you take them?"
Dennis and a lot of the other toads in the room visibly paled. "Is— is there one coming?"
Bog smirked. "No, but your reaction told me everything. The old Grime would've sent you to the pain room immediately. But now he's just a pansy!"
That caused a stir— Bog's insults had gone too far. But the red toad was unfazed. In fact, he seemed to take the commotion in stride.
"Don't tell me you're all okay with this. I can see it on your faces. When those frogs came here a week ago, you were all uncomfortable." Bog smirked seeing many toads' glares slowly dart away. They knew he was right on that count at least. "Admit it. You all miss showing those frogs how worthless they are."
"That's enough, Bog."
Everyone turned to see Percy and Braddock enter the room.
That only egged Bog on even more. "Enough? I've barely even started! How come Grime chose you two to serve as leaders in his stead? What makes a circus act and his lady friend more worthy of leadership than me?"
"It's because he trusts us," said Braddock, trying not to sound hurt. "If you wanted the job then you shouldn't have been insubordinate."
"You don't have to stay here, you know," said Percy. "There's nothing stopping you from joining one of the other towers. They'd be glad to take you."
Bog scoffed. "Why should I leave when I've got everything I need right here?" He drew his weapons and pointed them at Percy and Braddock. "This tower needs new leadership and I'm claiming your spot."
"So you request a formal challenge," said Percy.
"I do," said Bog. "Do you two accept?"
A tense moment passed. Percy and Braddock glanced at each other and nodded. "We don't," said Braddock.
There were gasps all around and a quick chuckle from Bog. "So you're cowards then. I don't know why I expected anything different from you."
"We're not cowards because we don't want to fight," said Braddock. "We're just choosing not to."
"Leaving this tower is your only good option right now, Bog," added Percy.
"I already told you I'm not going anywhere!" shouted Bog. "Now fight me!"
Percy and Braddock stood their ground. "You're leaving no matter what," said the former. "If you wont leave by choice, then you'll leave by force. You're banished!"
Even louder gasps rang out this time around.
"Pfft, yeah right. You won't really banish me." But Bog's confidence quickly diminished once he saw the flares on Percy and Braddock's faces. "You're actually serious… You can't do this! You don't have that authority!"
Dennis nervously raised his hand "Um, actually they do—"
"Shut up!" shouted everyone surrounding him.
"Captain Grime told us to keep an eye on you while he's gone," said Braddock. "He would think this is what's right for you. Gather your things and leave before sunset."
"This isn't fair. You all won't stand for this, right?" Bog looked around the room. Some of the toads gave him vaguely sympathetic looks but no one was coming to his defense. He realized this wasn't a winning battle, at least not yet. "Fine. Have it your way." He angrily shuffled out of the mess hall toward his own room.
"They're all ungrateful… this tower needs me…" Bog grumbled as he angrily tossed his belongings into a suitcase. "When I get my hands on that blonde kid I'm gonna—"
"Is it true, Bog?"
Bog turned around to see his trusted companions Fens and Mire standing in the doorway.
"Were you really banished from the tower?" continued Fend.
"Yes, I was." Bog pointed accusingly at the other toads. "And where were you two when I needed you? If anyone supported me then maybe I could've succeeded.
"We were on a mission to Bittyburg," said Fens defensively. "You would've known that if you didn't spend days locked up downstairs."
Bog scowled but he knew he couldn't refute that.
"But we're gonna stick by you now," said Fens. "Wherever you go, we go. We're not satisfied with Grime's leadership either— you'd make a far better Captain,
Mire grunted in agreement.
Bog's frown turned upside down. "Good. This crusade is far from over and I'll need all the allies I can get. Go and pack your things. Once we're in charge we're gonna change the world."
"For the better, right?" asked Fens.
"Sure," said Bog nonchalantly. "Better for us."
Percy and Braddock stood with Bog, Fens, and Mire by the tower's front gate. The three wayward toads loaded their belongings into one of the spider-driven carts and hopped into it.
"Well, we weren't expecting anyone to want to leave with Bog," said Percy, "but if that's your choice we won't stop you."
"We wish you good luck with whatever you do in the future," said Braddock.
"Well thanks, but you're the ones who'll need good luck," said Fens.
Percy and Braddock looked confused. "What's that supposed to mean?" asked Braddock.
"Did you really think this was the end?" Bog laughed. "No, it's just the beginning. When I return you're gonna wish you never sacked me."
"What… exactly are you planning?" asked Percy nervously.
"You think I'm just gonna tell you that like some amateur!?" Bog almost looked offended. "No, you'll have to wait and see. Just know that I'm gonna make the old Grime seem like a big softie." He turned to Mire. "C'mon, let's go."
Mire pulled on the spider's reins and the cart departed. All three toads laughed as it did.
Percy and Braddock just stood there for a while, not sure how to react.
"Did we mess up?" asked Percy.
"We might've," responded Braddock.
Just then, they felt something land next to them. They turned to see Karina and Joe Sparrow.
Karina hopped off the bird and handed Braddock a sheet of paper. "You have a reply to your message," she said with an emotionless tone. "Hooray."
The two toads nervously read the letter, knowing whatever Grime said would likely be undercut by the Bog situation.
To Percy and Braddock—
I'm glad there aren't any problems at the tower. I suspect King Andrias has some nefarious scheme planned involving Sasha and her friends, so the last thing I need to deal with right now is Bog's protests escalating into a major conflict.
I knew I made the right choice putting you two in charge.
From Capt. Grime
Percy and Braddock gulped and looked each other in the eyes, "We messed up."
Yeah, it sucks that canon teased Bog becoming a major antagonist and that never went anywhere. Here though he'll be the overall secondary villain.
Stuff is really gonna heat up in the next chapter, but I'll be working on a couple of other fics before that.