Hey everyone!
Now, before you all hit the back button because you realized that it's another one of MY stories, when I haven't even finished JCMGC, give me a chance to explain.

I've had this story in my mind since May 10th. And what is it now? August? It just takes me a while to get stuff down on non-existent paper.

That's why I'm terrible at updating.

That and I'm busy this summer. (Shocking) And I wanted to do something before I had Band Camp.

Shut up.

Yes, BAND CAMP. I am a bad geek. I admit it. Don't act so surprised. I have the uniform and funny hat and everything.

Changing gears here.

Here's the stuff:

Disclaimer: As much as I ask for GG for my upcoming birthday, I seriously think I won't get it.

Summary: It's yet another Partings fic. However, it's MY fix on it. We still get the ultimatum, but there's no final scene. The ramifications of what happened in Lorelai's mind as she DOESN'T go to Christopher.

"NO! I'm not waiting! It's now or never!" Please say 'now'. I can't lose you. We need our middle. Lorelai thought.

"I don't like ultimatums!" Her fiancée yelled.

"Well I don't like Mondays, but unfortunately, they come around eventually!" He doesn't want to marry me...? I-I have to go...I can't handle this. "Well, I'm sorry to hear that. And, I have to go." I sighed. Why isn't he saying anything? A tear escapes from my eye and runs down my cheek. I look at him one last time and turn away, defeated.

0X0

Although it's early May, it seems cold. I doubt 60 degrees is cold, especially for New England. But it's freezing. I pull my blue sweater around me more, and walk away, trying desperately just to stand. Damn wedge heels.

Then again, maybe it's not the heels. Maybe it's because my knees are weak, my head is spinning, my stomach is in a knot, and I have no idea what to do now.

0X0

One of the troubadours sings some song in the square, playing a guitar. The song sounds familiar. Or the woman's voice. I'm not really sure, but then again, I can't even think straight.

The places I go are never there. The places I go are never there. And nostalgia isn't what it used to be. I can only picture the disappearing world when you touch me...

0X0

Why hasn't Luke yelled back for me? Does he really want me to just walk out of his life like this?

Damn it, Luke! Just yell my name and I'll run back to you instead of walking out of the best relationship I've ever had. Didn't you even hear what I said?

"We have the plan; we just have to put it into action!" We've been engaged for nearly a year. We had a plan. And just as always, things fell apart.

"But I love you Luke! I love you! And I have waited and I have stayed away and I have let you run this thing. No more! I asked you to marry me, and you said YES!" So isn't the next logical step to get married? Or at least set a date? Even if it was far off in the future, a year from now. Just give me something to look forward to. Something I can count down the days to every morning.

"I didn't get the purple wallpaper because you didn't want the purple wallpaper. And if it's between you and the purple wallpaper, I pick you. I pick you!" I picked him over the purple wallpaper! Doesn't that mean anything! I've made sacrifices to meld our lives together. He has too! With the Twickham house fiasco. Buying it, unbuying it, and then almost buying it again. Just for me and our soon-to-be 'family'. Funny how things change.

"I'm going CRAZY here. I made a commitment to you and I need to make it happen." Why hasn't he seen how upset I've been? I remember telling him after Rory came back from Washington and I was upset over Chris about how much I wanted the Whole Package. Even though this was before we were together, he still listened. And I know that he knows.

"No! I'm not going to defend myself. For months now, I've been sulking around, not saying anything, not having an opinion on anything like I'm Clarence Thomas or something! I've been waiting for a long time, and I-I don't want to wait anymore!" Why did I have to be on the back burner for so long? Aren't I important to him?

"You're going to have to figure out how April fits into our lives, not the other way around!" Doesn't marriage mean that you take two separate lives, smash them together to make one complete life? It's been nearly 6 months. You've gotten used to April, I've talked to her. We even threw her a birthday party! Why couldn't we move forward?

And that all lead to:

"NO! I'm not waiting! It's now or never!"

And my current state-of-mind and location of the moment.

Alone. As always.

0X0

I stop when I am out of sight, and collapse beside a tree. Now I'm definitely crying. Where do I go now? I can't go to Sookie and Jackson's, Rory has her last night with Logan, I'm not going to Christopher's or my parents, the inn is booked to capacity... I guess I'm going to have to just suck it up and go home.

0X0

I stand in front of the door to our- my house. I can't go in. Everything will remind me of him. We fixed it up together. It smells a little like him, too. I'm sure that if I go in. I'll only make it to the stairs, and end up failing in a sea of tears.

Or I'll just die.

Either way, I can't bear to go through that kind of pain tonight. Surrounded by him after what happened. No.

I turn around, thinking of what to do now that my life is in pieces.

Garage? No. I fixed that up the first time we broke up. 'My special alone space'. He saw it when I was putting the finishing touches on. It has his father's boat in there, too.

Then it hits me. I'll sleep in the Jeep. Using all the strength I have, I close my eyes, take a deep breath, swing open the front door and run inside to the living room with my eyes still shut. My hands feel around for a pillow and blanket on the couch. Grabbing them both, hardly breathing, I run back out the door, just missing the wall, slamming the front door behind me.

0X0

I climb into the back seat of my jeep, lie down, and feel tears cascading down my face. Now the fun begins.

Hundreds of tears work their way down, and onto the light pink and white pillow below my face. I curl up, sobbing. The only man I ever truly loved was no history. Our relationship is history. Only a memory now. He'd rather have a relationship with his long lost daughter than marry me. I thought he was The One. God, he probably still is The One.

This is what my life has become. Everyone except me can have a relationship and not have it turn into the Hindenburg. Flames and all.

0X0

I continued to cry for what seemed like forever. My stomach now hurt even more, and there was a giant lump in my throat.

Poor Lorelai Gilmore. Got pregnant when she was 16, and since then can never have a decent healthy relationship. She's destined to die alone. She doesn't get a Middle.

I try desperately sleep. However, I successfully fail.

Did he even come looking for me? Is he upset? Does he even care?

I look up from the seat and out the window and my already-broken-heart drops and breaks again at the sight before me.

0X0

Luke. It's him. He came through the front door, pacing, a worried look painted across his face. Another tear rolls down my cheek. I'm not totally sure if it's happy or sad. He readjusts his cap, just as he always does when he's worried or anxious. A deep sigh comes out and he sinks into the bench on the porch, his head in his hands.

He came looking for me. He is upset. He cares.

Don't you like this one better than Partings? Hands?

Next chapter is Luke's POV, and it'll be up soon. I swear! It's 2/3rds done already!

Live, Love, and Review

xoxo

Lolabelle