"Ok, this is beyond weird." Zander said quietly from their place behind some trees as they sat watching the funeral.

"Sh, You don't want them to hear you." Wyatt replied. "I mean, it would be hard to explain there being two of you."

"Yeah, but not the first time it happened." Zander said with a small smile.

"Where is she?" Wyatt asked scanning the small crowd.

"She'll be here." Zander sighed watching a younger version of himself. "Crap, it's time for my speech."

"When Giles told me it was my responsibility to speak today, as Her watcher, it's my duty. He even gave me a copy of the speech the council had prepared for such occasions. I read it, it's actually not bad. I asked him why he hadn't used it when he was in my position and he replied simply that She'd deserved more. So, if any of you want to hear that speech it's on file back at the office." Past Zander said with a small smile. "Faith was a despite her best efforts, a good person. I've spent the last ten years working with the Slayer, and the one thing I've learned being her friend, fighting along side her and, finally becoming a watcher is that we'll never know. Wether you are a watcher, a potential, a powerful witch, a vampire cursed with a soul, or even just a regular guy who's somehow found yourself caught up in her world you'll never really understand what it's like to be the one. The burden, the responsibility, we'll never know but, it was almost harder for her, because neither did she. Faith was called into a very strange situation. We already had a slayer and she struggled to fit in. We didn't make it easy for her and looking back I can't say that we didn't play an role in her stint into evil. Your all probably wondering why I would even be talking about this, as G-man would say, well first he'd tell me not to call him G-man, this isn't the proper time to speak of such things. We should focus on her heroic, her sacrifice, the good she did but, She deserves better. Faith wasn't perfect, she would be the first to list her many flaws, the mistakes she'd made. I'm not going to sit here and pretend she was. She grew tired of the constant competition for limelight in a position she shouldn't have had to share. She decided she'd never measure up and if she couldn't be the best, what was the point. But, she came back and proved herself not only to us who all expected her to fail time and again but most importantly she proved to herself she could do it. When the torch was passed onto her so to speak and Giles told me I was going to be her watcher, I was terrified. I told them I had no Idea how to be a watcher. Faith, she told me she had no idea how to be the slayer either but, we'd figure it out together. And we did. Faith fought and died bravely. She was a hero. But most importantly she was good, wether she believed it or not."

"Nice speech." Wyatt commented.

"I tried." Zander replied watching himself carefully. "There." He said pointing.

"Where?" Wyatt asked confused. Following his finger. "I can't see her."

"I know, but I can. Well past me can." Zander explained pointing to his past self gazing into the trees. "That's when I saw her." He said moving quietly along the trees.

"Leaving so soon?" Zander asked. Buffy spun startled.

"Zander?" She said taking in his aged appearance. "You got old."

"Yeah, well twenty years will do that to you." Zander laughed.

"What are you doing here?" Buffy asked.

"I think the real question is what are you doing here?" Zander replied.

"I don't need this from you too. I already told him that I just wanted to be left alone. So what does he do? He brings back more people to tell me just how messed up I am. I know, I'm a mess and you know what I don't care. I like it." Buffy said frustrated. "I just want to be left alone. Is that to much to ask."

"Oh cut the crap." Zander said shaking his head.

"Um, what are you doing?" Wyatt asked confused.

"Your scared. You can wrap it up any way you want but, let's face it the big bad buffster is hiding out because she's afraid." Zander said ignoring him.

"Scared of what?" Buffy demanded.

"That." Zander said gesturing to the funeral taking place a few feet away.

"I'm not afraid to die." Buffy declared. "Hell I've done it more than once."

"No, your not. Your afraid to live." Zander replied.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Buffy demanded.

"It means, since you were fifteen you've been told it's your job, your duty, your destiny, to die. You have to protect the world, fight the big fights and you did it. But, now you don't have to. It isn't your job anymore and you have no idea how to be just a normal person and that scares you." Zander explained.

"I'm not afraid." Buffy declared. "You don't know me, don't pretend to."

"How can you say that. We were friends, I fought along side you, I'd have done anything for you. But, you didn't want that, you just want to be left alone. Alone to wallow in self pity. Poor Buffy doesn't have to save the world anymore, she has to be a real person." Zander shot back.

"Your right we WERE friends. But things change right." Buffy replied.

"You changed them. You left. You ran away never to be heard from again." Zander replied.

"You want me to be a real person?" Buffy asked. "How was I supposed to be with you guys all looking to me for the answers, to save the day. I had to leave."

"I know, I understand. And to be honest I'm glad you did." Zander said surprising them. "You didn't leave for you so, don't act like you did. You left for us. I couldn't see that then but, she did."

Flashback:

It had been a hard fight but she'd done it, she adverted the apocalypse but had been hurt badly. she'd lost so much blood, Zander sat helplessly waiting for the ambulance to arrive.

"Hold on Faith, they'll be here soon." Zander said holding tightly to her hand.

"You know." Faith said coughing. "I always expected her to pop up, to save my ass."

"What are you talking about?" Zander asked confused.

"B." Faith said trying to catch her breath. "I thought she'd be there when it got rough to bail me out. She should have warned me, dying sucks."

"Your not going to die." Zander replied.

"Don't get all watchery on me Zan. We both know it's my time. Time for the next girl to take over and kick some ass. But, She really didn't come."

"She wouldn't have done things any differently than you did." Zander replied.

"I know, but she would have done it and we'd both be hold her hand right now." Faith replied tiredly. "I just wish." She struggled to keep her eyes open.

"You wish what?" Zander prompted trying to keep her conscious.

"I wish I could thank her." Faith replied tiredly. "I did it, I saved the world." She said succumbing to her battered body and losing consciousness.

"She died in surgery, to much internal; bleeding." Zander said sadly.

"Why are you telling me this." Buffy asked unable to meet his gaze.

"Because she was right. We should have thanked you. You made us realize we didn't need you. We could do it on our own. It's strange, but I've never saw Faith happier than that moment as she lay dying in a pool of her own blood when she realized she'd done it, all on her own." Zander said forcing her to look at him.

"Good for you." Buffy said turning to leave.

"It wasn't your fault." Zander called stopping her. "It wasn't your job to save her."

"Wasn't it?" Buffy asked spinning around. "Isn't that why you just looked at me with such complete and utter contempt?"

"I didn't understand then." Zander said gesturing to his former self. "I was hurt, confused and blaming myself."

"What we're you supposed to do?" Buffy asked.

"Nothing, the same thing you were supposed to do." Zander replied. "You see that girl, that scared fifteen year old sitting next to Willow. She was called after Faith."

"She's so young." Buffy said wistfully gazing at her.

"No younger than either of you." Zander replied. "She's terrified and I couldn't say or do anything to change that. Still can't. Faith died and now it's her turn to fight, and to die for the greater good. In six months we'll burry her. Right over there." Zander pointed. "And there's nothing any of us can do to change that, to stop it from happening."

"It's not fair." Buffy began.

"That's what she said." Zander replied. "When I threw a knife at her head and told her it was her destiny. She was pissed. Though not as pissed as Kennedy." Buffy gazed over to the former potential who was currently sulking by faiths casket. "She's eighteen, she'll never be called. It was her last shot so to speak. She didn't take it well."

"She's lucky." Buffy replied.

"We all said that but, you know Kennedy." Zander said shaking his head. "She gets over it and becomes a very skilled watcher. One of our best. But, it's hard to have had that kind of power and to know you'll never have it again."

"So none of the girls..." Buffy trailed off.

"Nope, none of the potentials who fought with you in Sunnydale we're ever called. It's almost ironic." Zander replied.

"What do you want from me?" She sighed.

"I want you to be happy Buffy." Zander replied. "However that may be."

"You make it sound so easy." She said quietly.

"It's not, but it wouldn't be worth it if it was." Zander replied. "Here, this is for you." He said handing her the envelope. "Let's go." He said turning to Wyatt.

"But, we didn't." Wyatt began.

"Give it time." Zander replied pulling him along behind him.

Buffy walked into her apartment flopping down onto the sofa with a sigh. She traced her name on the envelope. She recognized the handwriting, the dramatic flare she always put into her script. But, she was afraid to find out what she had to say. She shouldn't be saying anything to her, she shouldn't know she existed. She slowly opened the envelope pulling out a single sheet of paper and a photograph. Setting them aside she began to read.

Buffy,

God there's so much I want to say, need to say to you and I don't know if I'll ever get another chance. I was so angry when I first remembered and confused. It was hard to lead this new life knowing the reality of my past. I found Kyle and demanded he bring me to you. Sometimes I wish he never had. Your not yourself anymore, let's be honest you haven't been yourself since they brought you back. I wish I could help you. I wish I could tell you what I think you should do but, I can't and I wont. But, I need you to know how much I missed you, how much I love you and how grateful I am for all you've done for me. I'm ok Buffy, really I am. You don't need to worry about me. I have the normal life you always craved. I'm married and have two great kids. I'm happy and I want that for you to. You'll never have a normal life Buffy but, that doesn't mean you can't find happiness. You told me the hardest thing to do in this world was to live in it. You asked me to be brave, to live for you and I have. Now it's your turn. I wont ask you to do it for me, do it for yourself. Don't just exist, live. No matter what you choose, I'll always love you. You're my favorite sister (yeah I know your my only sister). I can't live for you anymore, it's time for you to do it for yourself.

Love Always,

Dawn.

She wiped a stray tear off her cheek setting the letter down and picking up the photo.

"She's all grown up." She whispered tracing a finger along Dawn's smiling face as she beamed proudly down at her two children with her Husbands arms wrapped around her. "She looks so happy."

"Yeah she does." He replied.

"What are you doing here." She asked looking up surprised.

"I'm always here." He replied sitting down next to her.

"Stop torturing me." She begged. "Just go away."

"I can't." He replied. "You wont let me go."

"I don't know how?" She admitted tearfully. "What should I do?"

"You can't hide out here forever." He replied.

"I know, but I don't know where to go. I don't know where I belong." She said sadly.

"Yes you do. You know what to do." He replied. "Remember no matter what, I'll always be with you." He said placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. "You'll figure it out, you're the strongest person I know, not because you're the slayer either, just because your you."

"But your not real." She sighed waking up to find herself alone clutching the photo of Dawn and her family. "You were wrong Chris, I'm not strong, not without you."