I know that each chapter has been short so far. This one is longer. I thought you would all think this was a stupid idea, but I hope I was wrong. Please review and tell me!
I hung up the phone. I didn't know what to say. I ran to the couch, laid down and began to cry. I couldn't help myself. After about ten minutes of crying, the door opened. I looked up. The picture was foggy but I could see it was Maureen.
"What's wrong?" I asked. Stupid question. Of course she's not okay. She has aids and she's crying.
"Joanne and I had a big fight. She wouldn't even sleep in the same room as me because I have Gd damn aids!" She fell into my arms. I held her tight. I wish it could stay like this forever. No, no… you don't feel that way about her anymore. But she pulled away. "And she said that if I still loved you so much then why was she with me." I couldn't believe it. Maureen loved me. "And I don't even love you like that anymore. I love you like a friend. We've both moved on. Damn it. Well you don't love her so it's okay.
"Anyway" she continued, "I was wondering if I could stay here with you and Rachel for a while until…" She trailed off. I don't know if she knew what was going to happen. Would she find a new place? Would she and Joanne make up? Maybe- hopefully- she might stay here? But no. She said nothing. She just fell into my arms crying.
"Of course you can stay." I said. How could I say no? I lov- no. No! No I don't!
Maureen went back to get her things. I called Joanne to tell her Maureen was coming. I asked her to drop off Rachel. She told me Maureen could take her home.
Why is Joanne so stupid? To have Maureen want her, to have Maureen's love, it just didn't matter. Right now, I envy Joanne.
Twenty minutes later, Maureen opened the door. She was a wreck. This was the worst I'd ever seen her. Standing by her side was Rachel. Rachel had her mothers brown wavy hair and my deep blue eyes. She had a beautiful face, but different than Maureen's. I don't know where she got that face. She was petit- shortest in her grade. But most important, she was polite, gracious, and kind. I don't know where she gets that from. She always wore a smile. A teeth showing, warm, genuine smile. But right now, her mouth was closed and her eyes show fear.
I walked over to them. I wrapped my arms around Maureen and whispered in her ear, "its okay." But my eyes showed it wasn't. I got on my knees and said to Rachel. "You and your mommy will be living here for a while. Okay?" Maureen made me promise not to tell Rachel that she has aids. "What about Joanne?" Rachel asked. Maureen began to cry again. "Sorry" said Rachel. "It's okay. You didn't know" I said.
"Come on. Time for bed." I said. Then Rachel did something I had never seen her do. She gave me that pout look that Maureen has. I smiled. "Goodnight." I kissed her on her forehead and showed her to her room.
I put her under the covers and turned out the light. As I began to walk away, she said, "is mommy okay?" she asked. "Yeah Mommy's okay." I began to cry. "Then why was she crying?" Rachel asked. I love that kid to death but I need to teach her when to stop asking questions.
"Sometimes grown up's need to cry. To let their feelings out." I said. I tried to hide the fact that I too was crying. "Goodnight." I shut her door. I looked to see where Maureen was. She was on the couch, out like a light. Even in her sleep she was crying. I couldn't bear to see her like this. She was shivering. I couldn't bear to see her like this. I put a blanket over her.
I began to walk back to my room to turn in for the night. But I ran back to Maureen to make sure she was alright. I looked at her brown curls, her soft lips, and thought of her warm open heart.
I love her.